Hostage of Love
by EyJB
Summary: Collab-Story between JB and EnjoyyourJacob: Set after Breaking Dawn! Bella sat in the small diner, feeling the weight of the past few days heavy on her shoulder. Would she finally have the guts to visit Jacob? Has it really been 4 years? Was it too late to reestablish their friendship or find true Love?
1. Hostage of Love - Preface

_**Hostage of Love **_

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**Without you**_

_My Pillow gazes upon me at night_  
_Empty as a gravestone;_  
_I never thought it would be so bitter_  
_To be alone,_  
_Not to lie down asleep in your hair._

_I lie alone in a silent house,_  
_The hanging lamp darkened,_  
_And gently stretch out my hands_  
_To gather in yours,_  
_And softly press my warm mouth_  
_Toward you, and kiss myself, exhausted and weak-_  
_Then suddenly I'm awake_  
_And all around me the cold night grows still._  
_The star in the window shines clearly-_  
_Where is your blond hair,_  
_Where your sweet mouth?_

_Now I drink pain in every delight_  
_And poison in every wine;_  
_I never knew it would be so bitter_  
_To be alone,_  
_Alone, without you._

Hermann Hesse, Translated by James Wright

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_**Preface**_

_**.**_

He closes his eyes as the blonde woman moves above him. His hands grip her hips, pulling her up and down his shaft effortlessly, but her joy, her lustful writhing and moaning leaves him rather unfazed.

Lately, he has a hard time enjoying sex at all. The short moments when he lets go and comes doesn't give him satisfaction anymore. Only a few moments of peace of mind and soothing numbness he is granted and then, he needs to move and leave—feeling all cold inside, unsatisfied, and lonely.

Only seldom, he feels content for some time longer; maybe even falls asleep next to her. Mostly, when the woman he chooses to be his bed fellow resembles the woman he once loved. Be it the color of her hair, the way they talk or just the petite frame of her body that reminds him. He will close his eyes then and imagine it was _her_ that lies under him. It is at these moments, when he can get lost in his emotions and the memories of a girl that never saw more than a friend in him and that chose to marry the other man.

Sometimes, when his fantasies become too vivid, he forgets that he is in bed with another woman. Sometimes, he comes, calling out _her_ name.

"Bella…"

.

~~oOo~~

.

Somewhere, miles and miles away, is a woman.

Above her, a man grunts and groans, lost in his desire. She just lies there, watching and contemplating. What is wrong with her? Why can't she enjoy sex like other women?

She never comes when a man is inside her, and only when her partner is attentive he eventually brings her to release with his fingers, afterwards when he is done.

She doesn't have many men, because sex just isn't what she needs. When she does it, it is out of loneliness, because she needs closeness and the touch of another human being. She chooses her partners wisely; deliberate that nothing will ever remind her of the man she loved.

Her lovers aren't athletes. They aren't copper-skinned or very tall. A man with a temper? No, thank you. Boyish smile or mechanical skills? Not wanted, either. It narrows down her choices to a minimum, but that is okay.

Nevertheless, it happens often enough that a different face than that of her partner appears before her eyes—_his_ face. After all this time, she still vividly remembers his bright smile, his beautiful brown eyes, and his heat. Sometimes, a tiny bubble of lust wells up inside of her, only to disappear quickly as it came, because her bed partner just can't compare to _him_ and isn't what she wants.

She lives a good life so far. Two months ago, she graduated from college. She loves working in her job. She has some close friends and goes out with them. She doesn't mourn after her divorced husband. The only thing she regrets is marrying him in the first place. Nevertheless, in making this choice four years ago and taking the consequences she has grown stronger.

Today, she is independent and confident, but something – _someone_ –is missing in her life. And in missing _him_, she feels lonely and as if a huge part of herself is missing.

The man above her finishes and kisses her briefly with a satisfied sigh, before falling asleep. She turns her back on him and curls into a tight ball.

_His_ name falls from her lips, softly, unheard, like the teardrops that fall on her pillow.

"Jake…"

.

~~oOo~~

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	2. Hostage of Love - Take This Pain Away

**.**

**Warning: Adult themes and language. We have suicidal thoughts, and we have a fat, not very gentle lemon coming up. If this disturbs you in any way don't read.**

.

**_Chapter Beta: JUL5857. Thank you! _**

**_ ._**

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_How heavy the days are.  
There's not a fire that can warm me,  
Not a sun to laugh with me,  
Everything bare,  
Everything cold and merciless,  
And even the beloved, clear  
Stars look desolately down,  
Since I learned in my heart that  
Love can die._

.  
_How heavy the Days,_

Herman Hesse, translated by James Wright

.

**Hostage of Love**

**.**

**Chapter 1**

**.**

_**Take This Pain Away**_

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.

He stood on the highest spot of the cliff and looked down into the black and stormy water. It was not the water he saw but the sharp, peaky and rough stones that broke through the surface. Would it be lethal if he jumped down onto the boulders? Would his bones be crushed by the impact? Would the ocean wash his broken body away, drowning him?

_Far from likely,_he thought in complete bewilderment, looking down at his bloody fists—shredded skin and broken bones beginning to heal already.

He was exhausted in a way he had never felt before. At first, he had been livid and in his fury he had hit into the trees with his fists, maiming and smashing them. He was kicking, not even realizing that he up-rooted trees and left a path of destruction behind him. Later, he screamed, his angry and hoarse cries echoing through the dark forest. He never stopped and never faltered as he raved, begging for his head to explode and his heart to simply stop beating.

Now he stood here, broken and lonely, realizing that he shouldn't have gone to Bella's wedding party. Seeing her in that lovely dress with her flushed cheeks, shining eyes and luscious lips and everything about her was screaming for her newly-wedded husband, destroyed what had been left of him.

How much pain could a person possibly take? The grief he felt was next to unbearable. He wished for relief, something to ease his pain. He wished he could fall into the abyss and never return. Death would be a blessing. Yeah, he should be that lucky.

Why could she NOT see that she was going to throw her life away, and the future they could have together, the children he could give her? WHY?

WHY? He kept asking himself over and over again.

He had known that he was fighting a losing battle. Nevertheless, he had tried to convince her – yet again – that what she had planned was wrong. She had brushed him off, declaring she was willing to give her body and soul to Edward, telling him that she even planned to have sex with him when she was still human.

How could she be so careless? Trusting him so blindly? Didn't she know that she was walking into her death with open eyes? Of course, it would be her death to lie down with that leech.

Jacob assumed that Bella still was a virgin, even though they had never spoken about it, and he didn't need to put two and two together to know what would happen, once the leech broke through her barrier. The tiniest droplet of blood would be enough to drive him into frenzy; nothing and no one would be able to stop him as he would be sucking her dry. The leechcould never bed her and expect that she would survive it. He could break every bone in her body with one careless move of his stone-hard body.

Was this what she really wanted? Why couldn't she see what she was going to do?

It was wrong imagining him moving inside her petite body; nauseating to imagine the bruises and marks that would cover her delicate, creamy skin; horrible to wonder how much it would need to crush her fragile bones. It was sick, sick, so damn sick…

The bile rose in his body explosively. Stepping back and turning around, he vomited into the grass. Helpless, defenceless, broken.

Jacob didn't believe that he would see Bella ever again.

He had known all along that the day would come. She had warned him, tried to prepare him that she wanted to become like him—a leech, a bloodsucker, his enemy. And he had hated the thought from the beginning, had sworn to her and to himself that he would fight for her, that he wouldn't stop loving her until her heart stopped beating.

It was her declaration that she could have a _real_ wedding night, a real honeymoon while she was still human that was the final blow, the final straw that killed his spirit, his will to fight, his will to live. What meaning had life for him without her? What meaning had it when he lost her, because he had failed to protect her as it was ingrained in his DNA?

Protecting and loving her was what he had always ever wanted and needed. It was part of him, part of what made him Jacob Black. He had been so eager to fix her when she was heart-broken after her leech had left her, because he was good at fixing stuff. But once she was dead—or turned (and dead nevertheless)—there was nothing left to be fixed.

He had offered her a friendship that ran deep, a friendship that could have easily turned into more if she only had been willing to try. He had given her his heart, but all she had ever done was to take from him and take and take, never giving anything back. She had chosen the wrong path—a path that led into her death, and he had terribly failed. Jacob hadn't been able to make her see reason, not been able to keep her where she naturally belonged.

He wasn't what she wanted. She didn't love him enough. Definitely not enough to leave her leech to whom she was so devoted, addicted even.

He stood up and dragged his feet back to the cliff, his naked toes curling around the sharp edges of the stones underneath his feet. _When had he lost his shoes?_

He didn't really attempt killing himself, but he enjoyed the fascination of his morbid fantasies. Would his father miss him when he was gone? Would his pack mates miss him, the only friends he had? What about Bella? Would she realize what she had done to him once HE was cold and dead—and buried? Would she then finally know that they had been destined to be together?

Before his eyes he saw her sitting at his snow-covered grave, dressed in a black dress, holding a red rose in her tiny hands, weeping. Her eyes would be red and sore from crying, but she would still be beautiful. And she would continue crying until exhaustion caused her to collapse on the muddy earth.

Jacob shuddered. No, that wasn't what he wanted, either. He didn't want her to feel cold and alone without him. He wanted her warm. Warm and alive. Not cold. Or dead. Or, cold and dead, cold and dead—

A new cry ripped free from his throat. Again he bellowed his pain out into the night, swaying dangerously close on the brink.

Carrying his morbid thoughts to extremes, he tensed his body and rose to his toes. How much strength did he need to put into the jump? Which way did he need to turn or twist his body to land in the most destructive way onto the hard water's surface, onto the rough rocks?

He spread his arms out like wings and tilted his head back, looking up into the dark skies. Behind him in the forest, a bird screeched in protest, letting him know that someone was approaching. Jacob froze in his spot, trying to detect who had the guts to disturb him.

Then he heard a female voice call his name. Full of hope, he turned around.

.

~~oOo~~

.

Leah knew what Jacob was going through. It had happened to her, too. Of course, the circumstances where different, but the outcome was the same. The person you loved moved on and you were left behind, your pain ignored, the love the other had for you not enough for him/her to stay with you. The fact that the girl Jacob loved so deeply left him to soon become his mortal enemy made matters worse.

_Right,_Leah thought sarcastically, but what actually was worse? Seeing the man you loved every single day, knowing he would go home to another woman to lie in her bed, to make love to her every night, and added to that hearing his every thought about it? Or, knowing that the girl you're in love with wants to become a fucking leech? Her heart instantly burned and ached. Her longing for Sam was hopeless, and it had destroyed her faith in love and life itself.

From her place, hidden in the forest, Leah had seen what had taken place minutes ago. If she had known in time that he was back and attempted to go to this wedding, she would have slapped some reason into him. How stupid and self-torturous could this guy be?

Leah snorted hatefully and clenched her hands to fists, infuriated. Who was she to talk? She was an expert in self-torture. She knew his pain more than she would ever want to admit to anybody. How many times had she wished to just stop breathing? How many times had she wished to simply disappear and evaporate into nothing? Most of all, she hated the pity which she saw in her pack member's eyes. Damn them all.

No one had even bothered to tell her that Jacob was back. All she had been told was to watch the party and make sure that no leech would so much as look at the human wedding guests. When word spread that Jacob had shown up at the party she knew already that this was a fail. She had watched him and Bella dancing awkwardly, had listened to his excited and thrilled heartbeat, but she had also heard what the leech lover had exclaimed later on.

To say that Leah was shocked would be an understatement. The thought that someone (human above all that) would willingly fuck a leech made her shudder with disgust and gag on reflex. She knew instinctively nothing good could come out of it. Once the leech would stick his icy cock into his stupid bride, it would be her doom. There was no way that Bella would make it out alive.

Last but not least, Leah had seen how Bella talking to Jacob about having a _real_ honeymoon had hit home and how Jacob had almost lost it in front of all wedding guests. He had been darn close to phasing and only because Seth and Sam had dragged him into the darkness of the forest they had prevented a fight breaking out between Jacob and the leech. Not that she would have minded if the leech had been killed, but it would have exposed their secret and that wasn't to happen. Ever.

Jacob had brushed his brothers off and stomped away, knocking down trees like a berserk, and becoming more furious with every step he took farther away from _her._

She knew the pack workings and was aware that Sam would send at least one of them after Jacob, afraid that he would run away again. So she offered to look out for him before their Alpha could even ask. "I'll follow him," she said, earning surprised looks from her pack brothers. Sam agreed, relieved that he didn't need to decide and relieved that Jake's visit at this party hadn't turned into a disaster.

Following the path she had seen Jacob take, she ran after him, lost in her own thoughts and reflections. Damn, she didn't even know why she was following him! She had enough heartbreak on her own plate. Did she really need to get deeper involved with his? As she had seen Sam handling the situation with so much determination, she wanted nothing more than to sit with him on the sofa, discussing the event with a glass of wine like they had done before the whole wolf hocus-pocus.

Once she realized that she had lost Jacob's track over her mindless rambling, she groaned in aggravation. Leah stripped down, tied her top and shorts to her ankle, and phased. In her wolf form she would easily track him down. Her senses were way more perceptive when she was phased.

Leah put her muzzle down and searched the ground, tracking his scent only seconds later. It strongly smelled of Jacob, but it also reeked of deep desperation. _Ugh! Self-loathing stinks,_ Leah thought and hurried up, having a very strange feeling in her stomach. She didn't like this smell coming from Jacob. That wasn't like him. He wouldn't do something stupid, now would he?

Minutes later Leah found him. He stood at the cliff with his arms spread out widely, his muscles flexed, and his whole body tensed, looking as if he wanted to fling himself from the cliff. Hurriedly shifting back human, she screamed, "Are you crazy? Black, come back here right this instance. Are you trying to kill yourself?"

Only, when she had stopped yelling at him she considered that this maybe hadn't been very wise.

His head whipped around, his face wearing the fiercest of expressions she had ever seen on him, but she also saw the hope in his black, rage-filled eyes and the resignation when he recognized it was only her. For a moment, his eyes widened as he scanned her body, and she remembered that she stood there totally naked.

"Go away," he growled and turned to face the Pacific again.

She crouched down to untie her clothes, feeling the sharp sting of rejection, but banned the thought from her mind. Of course, he would expect someone else searching for him. Leah snorted dismissively. As if the bride would leave her own wedding and run after Jacob. Bella had made her choice regardless of her friend's feelings.

"Don't, Jake," Leah pleaded, cautiously stepping closer and hoping that being really nice was the right thing to do.

"Leave me alone," he murmured and inched closer to the edge. Was he serious? Was he really going to jump?

She smelled that he was desperate enough to follow through with his attempted suicide and didn't bother with her clothes anymore. Anxious about the way he eyed the water, she let it drop carelessly. Without thinking twice she moved closer to where he stood. It would be a waste if he threw his life away for this girl, Leah thought.

Jacob stayed frozen in his spot, not even blinking, but he didn't fend her off, either. When she finally came to a halt behind him, she grabbed his hand and yanked him away from the edge with one forceful tug.

He stumbled into her, but she caught him, even when she almost tumbled over from his weight. His movements were stiff and clumsy as she led him away from the cliff deeper into the woods, and he followed her, seemingly having no will of his own.

She slowed down her steps when they reached a clearing, and Jacob almost walked into her. His breath hit her neck, making the skin tingle. Her heartbeat accelerated and she gripped his hand tighter. He inhaled deeply, cursing under his breath and stepped back, but she didn't let go of his hand.

Leah sat down in a patch of soft green grass, pulling him with her. He sank to the ground, yanked his hand out of her grasp and buried his face in his hands. It was all the white chick's fault and Leah hated with a passion what she had done to him, hated seeing him so vulnerable. This was Jacob, son of the Chief and the next Alpha. That is once he got his head out of his ass. It was a pity that he didn't even know how much the pack relied on him already, regardless that he hadn't accepted his Alpha position yet. He didn't know how much it confused all of them when he was so totally out of his head. He wasn't supposed to be in this state of devastation. He was supposed to be strong. He was a fighter, a leader, a man of will-power. Jacob only needed to realize it and accept his position.

Against her usual reputation, she didn't want to bitch at him, knowing this would most likely only rile him up and threaten an outburst of his temper instead of calming him down. She wanted to ease his heavy mind and help him deal with the blow to his heart. This self-revelation kind of shocked but also intrigued her.

In an attempt to comfort him, she crawled up behind him and wrapped her arms around his chest. With a low whine, she nudged his neck with her nose, not recognizing that she—although in her human form—instinctively fell into pack behaviour. Burying her face in his neck, she breathed into it in a soothing manner, willing to do anything to comfort him, soothe him, to help him escape from his shock-filled mind. He didn't react first, but then a nudge turned into a lick that made him shudder. Leah nudged him again, her nose tickling him behind his ear.

Jacob tried to shove her away, wanting her to leave him alone, but she didn't give in. She just held him and from time to time, nudged or licked him again. Eventually, he relaxed. His arms dropped limply to his side, his shoulders slumped, and his head fell forward, showing of a long, muscular neck.

Leah was surprised by the flicker of arousal that rushed through her body. He had a beautiful neck, coppery-skinned and well-shaped, and the next lick was anything but wolfish socialising. She ran her tongue from the crook of his neck to his hairline, her nipples softly brushing across his back when she moved forward. She didn't know what had gotten into her, but she suddenly knew how to make him feel better, how to make him forget at least for now.

Leah realized that she wanted to give him her body, knowing that she would enjoy it very much since her body responded to him so strongly. She seemed to purely act on her physical instincts, wanting to distract Jacob, but craving the physical contact, too. In fact, they both desperately needed some escape from their painful reality.

"Leah, stop," Jacob croaked, but she ignored it and slipped her hands under the shirt he had put on for the wedding, gingerly caressing his tight stomach.

"I don't want to…" Leah answered, pecking more kisses along his neckline. She really liked his hard, muscled torso and his hot, smooth skin under the palms of her hands. Leah was confident that she was capable to make him forget even if it was only for a few precious hours. Frankly, Jake's body really turned her on. After all, she hadn't had sex since _Sam_… Leah immediately forced any thoughts of him from her mind.

The longer she held on to Jake and caressed his body, the more he seemed to relax, but the more aroused she became. A gush of moisture dampened the insides of her thighs and she sighed longingly. Damn, if felt so good holding on to his incredibly strong and muscular body.

Jacob inhaled deeply and froze. "Leah," he said irritated, and shook her off like a meddlesome puppy. It didn't scare her away. He was a guy and, being forced to share her pack mates' thoughts, she had learned a lot about the male brain—most of the time it was all about sex. She was familiar with almost every kinky fantasy her pack brothers came up with, as none of them was able to block his thoughts entirely. Even Jacob, whose fantasies mostly orbited around the skinny leech lover, eventually strayed off to biker girls, pole dancers or the like.

As Jacob grabbed her hands and tried to push them away, Leah felt challenged and held on to him even stronger, confident that he would break and give in sooner or later. She wriggled free from his grasp and grabbed the bottom of his shirt with both hands, purposefully brushing against the bare skin of his stomach, and tugged, hard. With a tearing noise, the fabric gave way. The action brought Jacob out of his stupor. He blinked and took a sharp breath as the shirt tore open, surprised by her boldness.

"I can make you forget, Jacob Black," Leah whispered into his ear, causing another shudder running down his back. She lifted one of his massive arms and slipped underneath it, brazenly straddling his thighs. Leah was determined to see this through as it felt so good to be touched like this again. It had been so long that someone had made her feel this way and she desperately needed it.

.

~~oOo~~

.

Jacob shifted, feeling awkward when she made herself comfortable in his lap, but his body reacted to being so close to a woman. It must be a guy thing, he thought as somehow regardless of his fucked up state of mind it felt nice to have a woman's hands on him, and Leah was some woman, beautiful with a flawless body. She was sexy, slender, and well-conditioned. Her body would drive every man crazy. Why hadn't he recognized before? For the first time, Jacob saw Leah as the woman that she was and not only as his pack mate and—sort of—sister.

He tried to shove her away, but she wouldn't budge an inch. He hated that his body responded to her and in doing so betrayed his feelings for Bell… _her_. All he ever wanted tonight was to wallow in self-pity and to give into the pain and the loss.

Leah took both of her hands and grabbed his face, forcing him to look at her. "I can make you forget," she repeated and with her thumb she brushed his lower lip. As she leaned in for a kiss, Jacob turned his face away. "Stop now, Leah. I don't want you," he barked angrily.

"Liar…" Leah replied, dropping her voice to a seductive whisper, and wrapped her legs tighter around his waist, pressing every inch of her body flush to his. She wiggled in his lap, eliciting a moan from him as she rode the hard bulge in his pants. At the same time she felt stronger, more powerful and, in a strange way, even content for the first time ever since her change.

Jacob was equally confused and turned on. He had expected Leah to yell at him and some 'what the hell is wrong with you, Black' kind of accusations. Instead she was all over him—naked—kissing, licking, groping, and rubbing.

He could feel her heat through the denim of his shorts as she pressed her pussy into his dick, sighing as she did so. The smell of her arousal hit his nostrils, and his eyes rolled back into his head. He was hard as a rock, but still he hesitated. This wasn't what he wanted. She wasn't what he wanted. He better should stop now and—

Leah took his hands and brought them to her breasts. He gasped and looked down on them, filled with sudden lust and passion, but also filled with wonder. It felt amazing how his hands covered her full breasts completely and her erect nipples tickled his palms. Curiously, he rolled her tits in his hands, exploring the feel of them. With his thumbs he brushed over her nipples, amazed when they hardened under his touch. Intrigued and turned on by Leah's excited response, he continued exploring her ample flesh.

Leah grabbed his hair and pressed her mouth on his, kissing him passionately. Her tongue pushed forward and invaded his mouth, and when he answered the kiss, there was no going back anymore. All the passion he had to give and that Bell… _she_ hadn't wanted broke free, even though he'd never imagined being with someone other than _her._

"Leah…" Jacob groaned, overwhelmed. He removed his one hand from her breast and let it wander down her rips across her flat stomach to the neatly trimmed triangle of dark hair. Reflexively, she pulled her belly in and sucked her lip into her mouth, moaning. He appreciated her reaction and didn't need more encouragement for him to go on. His large hands cupped her mound, marvelling in her wet softness. She was dripping and the more he explored the wetter she became, and the louder her moans were.

He still thought about Bella, couldn't get her out of his head completely, but his state of arousal took away some of the mental pain. Nevertheless, he still hurt but it was another kind of hurt. He was so hard, rock-hard, his balls so tight it was uncomfortable, and he wanted to be inside Leah knowing on instinct that it would ease this kind of pain.

An animalistic growl rumbled through his chest as he pushed two fingers into her, astonished by the velvety tightness. The wolf in him urged him to follow his instincts, to mount her and to ride her hard. He could hardly fight it back, given that Leah arched her back, gripped his shoulders and started to move up and down his fingers; a deep, and content "Oh God, yes" falling from her lips. He needed to have her! He needed to bury his cock deep within her. The sensation became overwhelming.

She flipped her head back, which brought his attention back to her large, pointed breasts and her sweet, dark nipples. Now, he wanted to lick and bite her hard nubs. He groaned, his cock leaked pre-cum, desperate for the fuck she offered, but at the same time he was shocked about his thoughts. He couldn't use her like that. Leah deserved better.

Giving her at least some kind of tenderness as he felt he owed her, he bent down and took one of her nipples between his lips, sucking at it as softly as he could manage.

"More, Jake. Please…" she begged him and lowered herself on the ground, stretching her arms out to him. "Come here."

That was all he needed to hear. Hastily, he flicked open the buttons of his pants and shoved it down his legs impatiently. His eyes raked over her body as she lay before him, her legs slightly spread apart, her pussy glistening with her arousal.

She smiled back at him, encouragingly and really turned on.

Jacob leaned forward and grabbed her hip. With the other hand he took his dick and guided it to her entrance. He slid into her for a little bit, then pushed down some more until the head of his cock was buried inside her.

"Jake!" she cried out as they connected. Her pussy enclosed him tightly, and he groaned out loud with delight. She felt so good and it took all of his control not to start pounding into her right away. She would need to adjust to him or he might possibly hurt her; which he wanted to avoid. Pearls of sweat started to form on his forehead, slowly rolling down his temples.

Jacob pushed into her slowly, inch by torturous inch, until he was buried inside her completely. Then, he stilled again, panting hard, and tried to regain his composure. It was necessary or he would come instantly just by her tightness around him.

She moved underneath him, hungry for more and cautiously, Jacob pulled out and pushed back in entirely. "God, you feel good," he grunted, and increased the pace every time he shoved his dick deeper into her.

"More, Jacob. I need you to fuck me," Leah demanded, staring up at him, and wrapped both of her long, slender legs around his waist.

She didn't need to ask twice. He planted his hands firmly on both sides of her body and began thrusting. It was hard and demanding, but Leah met him with equal ferocity, spurring him on. She grabbed his hair and pulled his face down, pressing her lips onto his mouth.

Jacob didn't hold back anymore as she kissed him almost violently. He growled aggressively and slammed harder and faster into her body, while she tongue-fucked his mouth. He realized that he was rough, too rough maybe. He hadn't felt so animalistic and wolfish ever before and it frightened him. Nevertheless, he needed an outlet, his body and mind demanded release and if it was a fuck he needed to get Bel… _her_ out of his system, so be it.

He pulled out of Leah, and flipped her around quickly. Delighted, she cried out as he put her on all fours; her squeal almost a high-pitched howl that made his cock twitch and his thighs tremble.

He should mate and claim her, his wolf pressed and Jacob shook his head, irritated with his wolf. He reached for her ass, grabbing her cheeks, opening her for him. He pulled her down on his shaft, pushing it back into her pussy up to the hilt. It took all of his willpower not to come instantly and he stopped moving, hovering over her, growling and panting.

.

~~oOo~~

.

Her whole body was alive. She was alive. For the first time in months she felt almost whole. As Jacob took her so powerfully, she could forget about Sam and the hurt he had caused her. Jake's insistent fucking practically blew all thoughts of her Ex right out of her.

He grunted out her name and slid his large hands across her back, trying to push her down. One of his hands enclosed her neck and he pushed her down furthermore.

She fought against him, bucking her back in attempt to shake him off. At the same time it was a huge turn-on how his huge hands held her in place while he slammed into her almost ruthless, the position allowing him to penetrate her in a deeper angle, finding and stimulating her sweet spots easily.

Leah started to lose herself in him and cried out in pleasure over and over again as she met his thrusts with the same force and the same passion; willingly giving everything she could give except the one thing he unknowingly demanded the most – her submission. But she would never submit. Not to any man. Not to him.

Trying to return to an upright position, Leah reached behind them and wrapped her arm around his neck. She almost toppled over by the brute strength of his thrusts, but he steadied her and pulled her up, sliding one of his strong arms across her chest. His hand came to rest above her breast and he instantly started to tweak and roll her nipple without ever losing the beat. But soon, he fucked her even more forceful. His breathing became even more laboured, his grip even tighter. "I need to cum," he grunted, accentuation each word with a hard push.

Leah's arousal skyrocketed, knowing that he would cum soon. At the same time she thought that despite how close he was he would want her to get off first, because it would give him the kind of power he sought and needed right now. She knew how important the first time you had sex was and she wanted to make it as impressive and as special for him as it was possible given the shitty circumstances of their coming together. She wanted to be a good teacher to him, wanted him to be aware of the power his body held over her.

"Touch me," she begged him and took his hand, guiding it to her pussy, instructing him how she wanted him to circle and rub her clit. He quickly got the hang of it, making it easy to be a good teacher. "Jake. Please," she pleaded sobbing, trembling with need as his fingers moved expertly over her clit. He had learned quickly. She was close, so close.

"Cum!" Jacob growled and grabbed her chin with his other hand. He kissed her hard, again battling for dominance.

Her hands dug deep into his skin as she tried to hold out a little bit longer, her nails raking over his skin, leaving deep red marks.

He grunted in pain and pleasure and kissed her even harder, regardless of whether it would leave bruises on her lips or not. "Let. Go," he demanded, pressing down on her swollen nub, and this time she couldn't fight it.

Leah fell apart, and she came hard, her walls convulsing and pulsating around him, her body trembling and quivering.

"Leah. Fuck," Jacob groaned into her mouth as he kissed her, swallowing her screams. Her orgasm triggered something in him. He felt powerful and his body jerked and twitched, demanding its own release. He grabbed her hair and pushed her down, wanting her on all fours for him.

She couldn't fight him off now, didn't want to fight him off, as she felt another orgasm coming. Willingly lowering down on her arms and knees, she accepted his powerful thrusts and came again, screaming her pleasure into the night.

Seconds later, Jacob felt like he was about to explode. "Fuck, I'm cumin," he hissed and with that he sprayed his seed deep inside her, pushing his dick impossibly deeper, roaring out with the sheer force of his release.

When it was all over, they crumbled to the ground. His head sank down on her shoulder and he panted heavily, biting back the hoarse sobs that surged through him. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Not this rough and violent and not with Leah…

Leah's hand closed around his, but she didn't say a word. It was strangely reassuring and gave him the feeling that maybe she sort of felt the same.

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~~oOo~~

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Very close nearby a twig broke under someone's feet, and their heads jerked up.

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They weren't alone anymore…

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	3. Hostage of Love - Shattered

**Rated: MA, Adult themes and language.**

**We own nothing, only our dream of Jacob Black!**

**Chapter Beta: JUL5857 **

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**A/N: We appriciate your reviews. Please keep them coming. :-)**

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**Musical Inspiration: Grenade by Bruno Mars**

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**~oOo~**

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**Chapter 2**

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**~Shattered~**

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Bella stood frozen behind Edward, as Seth and Sam shoved a heavily shaking Jake away, dragging and pulling him into the forest. Even though she wanted to run after him, she was rooted in her spot, trying to comprehend what had just happened.

She was still shocked about the way Jacob had looked at her after her revelation of having a _real_ honeymoon. Defeat and despair displayed in his eyes as he grabbed her arms and shook her like a rag doll, hoping it would change a thing. Thinking about the look in his eyes made her chest ache. Bella became very angry with herself that she had started this argument with Jacob at all. She hadn't intended to tell him about it. It had just slipped out when he had mocked her about gambling her life away.

She was startled when Edward grabbed her wrist and pulled her toward the house. He was rough and too fast and she almost fell over her own feet. "You're hurting me," she complained in a small voice, but the pain his grip caused her was nothing compared to the pain she felt in her heart. The further Edward pulled her away from the direction Jacob had gone, the more painful it became. It was comparable to the pain she used to feel when Edward was gone. She bit back a sob and put her free hand over her throbbing heart.

Edward stopped abruptly, looking at her sharply and not even trying to hide what he was feeling. "I want to kill him," he spat. His voice was frightening; hatred marred his features.

For the first time ever, she was afraid of him. _Would he go after Jacob and if so, what would he do?_ "No, Edward," she whimpered and clenched her free hand around his arm.

He loosened the grip around her wrist and bent down to whisper into her ear, "I'm so proud that you finally found the strength to tell him that it is me and only me who you always wanted, that it's me who you cannot live without. What was the dog thinking?" Edward chuckled disdainfully. "In fact, you putting him in his place is the only reason that keeps me from killing him, love." Then he added so quietly, Bella wasn't even sure if she heard right, "He never stood a chance against me."

Bella could not believe what she had just seen in his face and what he had said. _Was this person talking still her Edward?_

He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her with him towards the Cullen Mansion, where Alice was waiting for them, waving frantically. They must have looked like a truly happy couple to their guests. But were they? Why didn't she feel happy? She was supposed to be happy. After all, she got what she wanted, did she not?

For a moment it was as if she could hear the sounds of roaring and the sound of splintering wood, but she wasn't sure. What was going on back there? Her stomach clenched and she was scared, really scared for Jake. By some strange force, her body turned back to the forest, straining to get there.

"Bella, love, everybody is waiting for us. We need to keep up the appearance. Nobody must know what the mongrel tried to do to you," Edward said to her, tightening the grip around her waist.

When she looked up, his face was perfectly blank. Only the dark look in his eyes told her how angry he still was. "OK, Edward," she heard herself whisper, feeling extremely weak and so sad. "How do I look?" She ran her hands over her hair, checking if every pin was still in place, then pressed her palms against her heated cheeks, hoping the blush would disappear.

"Beautiful," he answered, brushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear. His eyes lingered on her for a while, before he took her elbow and led her inside. He was much gentler now, but she had noticed this different gloom deep within his eyes and it made her feel uneasy.

As soon as they entered the hall Bella noticed her own reflection in the large windowpane. _Who are you,_ she mentally asked herself? This was supposed to be the best day in her life. How could it turn into such disaster? She stared at herself in the large antique mirror in front of her while she noticed all the commotion around her.

Instantly, all she wanted to do was smash the glass. Suddenly, she felt too disgusted to look at her reflection as she wondered to which extent she must have hurt Jacob with her words and actions tonight—and before—up to this day. To make things worse, having seen his eyes when his friends dragged him away, she feared she had destroyed his spirit. Some friend she was… She was an ugly, a disgusting person.

"It's time for the last dance, ladies and gentlemen," Alice squealed excitedly and the music started to play Michael Bublé's _The Way you look Tonight_.

Bella felt the eyes of her father and mother resting on her as her husband took her in his arms and spun her around to the music. She tried to smile although she didn't felt like smiling, and only Edward and maybe Alice saw that her smile didn't reach her eyes.

Allowing herself a weak moment, Bella closed her eyes, which started to really burn from unshed tears and rested her cheek at her husband's cold, hard chest. She couldn't explain the weary feeling that settled around her heart. She should be happy here with her husband, but right now all she felt was guilt and fear and a longing for Jacob's embrace, for Jacob's heat.

She should have known that he would be devastated by her revelation. Somehow, she still felt his hands in a tight grip around her arms, burning her skin, the remembrance becoming even more intense with Edward's cold body close to her.

As the dance continued she became extremely restless and very concerned. Bella opened her eyes again, searching the room and the illuminated garden for the Wolf pack, but of course they had left already. There was no reason for them to be here.

"Everything will turn out well for him, love. Don't worry about him," Edward murmured into her ear and she nodded reluctantly.

Would Jacob really be better? Would her best friend be able to move on from this? She knew wolves mated for live. Was the love he felt for her similar to the bond a wolf had with his mate? But that was imprinting, right? If a werewolf found his mate it was called imprinting, and Jacob hadn't imprinted on her. So she wasn't his mate for life, right? Bella tried to convince herself that if someday he would imprint he would forget about her, but what if not? No! Jacob would be fine. _He must,_ she prayed silently.

"Sometimes, you have to learn to love what's good for you," her father had told her, once upon a time when Edward was gone. She had already loved Jacob back then, but never realized how much. It only became clear to her when they shared that kiss at the mountain top before the fight with Victoria. But she didn't love him enough, not enough to let go of Edward. That's what she thought, what she believed. But what if… if she had been… what if… she was wrong?

She was very sure about that, if Edward hadn't returned, she would have loved Jacob and eventually would have spent the rest of her life with him. Maybe not immediately, but she would have, that she was sure off. But it was too late now to even think about this possibility. She was married and Jacob would move on eventually, wouldn't he?

When she lifted her head she caught her father's eyes. He looked sad, concern creasing his forehead. They looked at each other for a while until she felt her husband's lips brush over her hair and she shivered, leaning closer into him. She needed to get away from here. Everything would get better when nothing could remind her of Jacob. She had made her choice and it wasn't Jacob.

Bella lifted her head. Edward placed a chaste kiss onto her lips and she felt another shiver run down her spine. No, she repeated, everything has to be alright…

"Come on, come on," Alice said excitedly when the song was over and snatched her out of Edward's arms. "You have to change your clothes. You have to catch your flight." She pulled Bella into their room, where her mother and Esme were waiting, and helped her out of her dress.

Bella sighed in relief as the dress fell from her body, making her feel so much lighter. Alice handed her a pretty midnight blue dress while Esme took care of her wedding dress. Bella's hands were shaking badly and she barely managed to put on her new dress, less alone zip it up. Her mother laughed at Bella, saying, "Honey, it's so darn cute to see you shaking from your nerves."

Bella smiled, trying to control her anxiousness, but failed. Renee finally saw that something seemed wrong with Bella. "Bella, I believe we need to talk," she said sternly and pleadingly looked at Esme and Alice to give them some alone time.

"Ten minutes," Alice chirped, tapping at her watch, and closed the door behind her.

"What's going on, Bella?" Renee asked softly and took her daughter's hands.

Bella sat down on the bed and hung her head low. She sighed deeply and then whispered, "I've been an idiot. That's going on."

"Bella," Renee said probing. "I saw you were arguing with Jacob. He doesn't approve of you getting married, right? Why not Bella?"

Bella shook her head and bit her lips. She couldn't tell her mom in what a difficult situation she had managed to get herself in, but Renee understood like all mothers knew by instinct what was going on in their kids. "This boy loves you and that's why he ran away..."

Bella looked at her mother, freaked out by her observation skills, and Renee… She looked right through her daughter, as suddenly everything fell in place. Jacob running away and then unexpectedly showing up at the wedding, their argument and Edward's angry glare (oh yes, Renee had recognized) and now Bella's devastated condition. "Oh, Bella, why have you hidden this from me? Why have you never told me that you love him too?"

"Mom," Bella whispered, knowing fully well that every word they spoke would be overheard by Edward and her new family. "It does not matter anymore," she said defeated. "I chose Edward. I married him. I love him and I always saw my future with him. Now, I need to give it a real try." As she spoke those words, Renee frowned deeply.

"What is it, Mom?" Bella exclaimed. Only then she noticed that she was sobbing. Shaking with nerves and her anxiety, she fell into her mother's arms, letting her tears flow freely.

Renee held her daughter, tenderly rubbing her back. "Bella, what happened out there? Did Jacob hurt you?"

"No," Bella replied, shaking her head. "He did nothing wrong, Mom. It was me. I said something… stupid… that I shouldn't have said. I hurt him, I hurt him so bad." More huge tears ran down her cheeks.

Renee simply nodded. She didn't judge. "You two are... best friends. You will work it out, you'll see."

Bella's tears didn't stop. She simply couldn't stop crying as she realized that she would never be able to see Jake again, because she wouldn't come back from her honeymoon, because she would be a vampire then—Jake's mortal enemy and dangerous to the people around her. "Mom," she wailed not holding back as panic almost overwhelmed her. "Why do I feel so unhappy?"

"There, there, my poor girl." Renee pulled her daughter into her arms, cradling her like she hadn't done in years.

Slowly, Bella came back to her senses. She knew Alice would be back soon and their guests expected her to be back downstairs in a few. She had to pull herself together. Bella shrugged her shoulders and slipped out of her mother's arms. This would be her future—keeping up appearances.

_Will I ever see you again,_ Bella thought as she wiped away her tears, offering her mom a sad smile. She could have cried all over again, but she fought her tears. She didn't want her mom to remember her crying. She tried to smile. "Jake and I will work it out, Mom... somehow!"

Renee's face revealed that she did not believe her, but she said nothing.

Right on cue, Alice returned and threw her hands up in mock horror. "Bella, you ruined your makeup."

"I know you can fix it, Alice," Bella said evenly. She simply didn't care. Not when inside her heart she kept on crying. Renee was not convinced that Bella was better, but excused herself to go and find Phil and Charlie, finding herself slightly intimidated by Alice's irritated glare.

When she was gone, Alice placed Bella on the chair in front of a huge mirror and quickly removed the bridal veil and the clips that held her hair together. Her hair fell down her shoulders in big waves and Alice smoothed it with her hands, sighing dramatically.

"Can you….can you… see Jake?" Bella eventually asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

Alice shook her head, quickly removing the smudges her mascara had left under her eyes, and pressed her fingers onto Bella's eyes gingerly. It had a cooling effect on her skin that burned from the salty tears.

"You know I can't see him, Bella. I knew that he couldn't behave himself and Edward is more than pissed at him," Alice replied angrily. "And before you start apologizing… Yes, I heard everything. It only confirms my fears for quite a while. You think you love this mutt, Bella, but believe me it's only some kind of straw fire. The one you _truly_ love is my brother and he deserves that you will give your best to make your marriage succeed. Edward and you are meant to be together, don't forget that."

Bella gasped at the sound of Alice's angry voice, swallowing the answer that leaped up her throat and waited on the tip of her tongue. One thing was true, nevertheless, Bella was sorry and she wanted to apologize—but not to Alice or Edward. She wanted to apologize to Jacob, even though it wouldn't change the fact that she had hurt him so much.

The more Bella thought about everything the more positive she was about having to talk to Jake for a last time. She knew that she would never be able to see him again once she was changed and that thought increased the pain in her chest, surpassing any pain she had felt over Edward's leaving.

When Alice was satisfied with the way Bella looked—dress fitting perfectly, her makeup presenting the perfect picture of a happy woman—they went downstairs where Edward was waiting already. He smiled at her proudly and pulled her into a kiss. His cool lips pressed down on her mouth with a little more force than usual and it made her feel almost uncomfortable.

The kiss ended and Bella saw Charlie in the crowd. "Dad," she called out and ran over to him, wrapping her arms around his chest. "I'm going to miss you," Bella sobbed, because she knew that she would never see him again. Her heart hurt so much it was almost unbearable.

"I'm gonna miss you, too, kiddo," Charlie whispered into her ear. "But you'll be back soon. It's not like you'd be gone forever, right?" he said and hugged her tightly, sniffing away some tears. "Hey, I will look after Jake and Billy, don't you worry about that. "

"I love you, Dad. Forever," Bella said and let him go. It was painful, and she didn't want to, but the more she dragged it out, the more their goodbye would hurt.

"Love you more, Bells," Charlie replied, holding on to his smirk. Only red-rimmed eyes told of his tears.

Their car was waiting outside, richly decorated with hundreds of red and white balloons. Even a "Just Married" sign was put onto the car.

Edward took Bella's hand as they ran to the car, shielding her from the rice that showered down upon them. For Bella it felt like the longest run in her life as it took her away from everything that she loved—parents, friends… Jake!

Edward helped her into the car and buckled her in. He grinned at her and whispered, "You're beautiful, Bella Cullen." His voice floated over her, lulling her into a calm, peaceful trance. Befuddled, she lazily smiled back at him and rested her head against the headrest of her seat, but soon enough her nervousness and anxiety started again. The feeling intensified fast.

They were only gone for two or three miles as Bella's anxiety grew a hundredfold. "How much time do we have until the plane leaves?" she asked and turned to look at her husband.

Edward smiled at her, "Three hours. Why do you ask?"

"I need to see Jacob," she burst out and demanded, "I can't leave like that. You have to find him for me."

"What?" Edward asked incredulously, looking at her questioning. "Are you serious?"

"Yes, Edward. I'm sorry, but I really need to…" Bella replied, determined to do just that. She had to see Jacob. She had to see him for one more time.

"That mutt will never get his paws on you again," he yelled at her with a strange glint in his eyes and Bella sank in her seat.

"Just one more time, Edward. Please," she whispered, almost drowning in her feeling of hopelessness.

For a long time, Edward just stared straight forward, his face showing no emotion. He wasn't even blinking. His statuesque attitude suddenly very much reminded Bella of what he really was and today, it somehow gave her the creeps.

Eventually, he snapped out of his state and shook his head, closing his hands tightly around the steering wheel. "This can't be real…" he choked out. "I'm the one you've chosen." A chill ran down her spine and her anxiety grew. "We're married for only a couple of hours and now you want to run after him?" Edward ran his hand through his hair, roughly. His angry glare darkened his honeyed eyes, making her shiver even more. "He doesn't deserve to see you ever again, Bella. Look what he is doing to you! You're a mess."

Bella was stunned by Edward's outburst and once more, she felt a cold shiver running down her spine at what she saw in his eyes. "It's not what you think, Edward. You know how worried I was when he ran away," she whispered. She wrung her hands desperately, willing the tears away that formed in her eyes. She had often ignored Jake's feelings, but today she couldn't. The worry she felt made her stomach roll and her breath accelerate.

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose. She had learned that he did that when he was feeling uncomfortable or nervous. "You know what, Bella?" he spat aggressively, his voice becoming loud. "To me it looks like a perfect plan. Black played you like an instrument since he very well knows how you'd react. Maybe, he even expects that you come after him. It's a game for him. He can't accept that I won, that you chose me over him."

"NO!" Bella argued defensively. "Jacob isn't like that. I hurt him and I can't leave like that. I couldn't live with myself if he did something rash because of me… I know you can find him. Please…" Bella touched his hand, attempting to plead with him.

Maybe it was her pleading, but suddenly Edward was more than willing to allow her one more visit with Jake. Why was he staring into the woods? Why did his features seem almost happy, smug at the very least? "Okay, I'm going find him for you, but then, my darling, we'll leave," he relented and slowed the car down while listening intently. "I promise you, you will never want to return. Once you're turned, your memories of him will fade away quickly."

"Thank you," Bella murmured, promising to herself that she would never ever forget about Jake. She also wondered what had changed Edward's mind. He was still staring into the forest, but as much as she strained her ears, she couldn't hear a thing, apart from something that sounded like a faint howl from time to time, but that could be the wind as well.

"I know where he is," he said a few minutes later and pulled his car to the side, stopping the engine. He took her hands, pressing them slightly and declared, "I can only take you to the treaty line, but he isn't that far from there, Bella. He will hear you when you get closer." A distant look showed on his face, then a frown. The frown vanished but made place for a short, sarcastic sneer.

"What is it, Edward?" Bella asked anxiously as she opened the door.

"Nothing, love," Edward answered, still intently listening. "Come. I'll lead you there." He was around the car in no time and took her hand, helping her to get out of her seat. He lifted her up in his arms and carried her through the forest.

Bella got dizzy from the speed and buried her face in his hard chest. It was uncomfortable as her head hurt badly. She also started freezing, because her thin dress didn't give much protection against his cold body.

Abruptly, Edward stopped and put her back on her feet. "This is the farthest I can go," he declared. He seemed astonishing relaxed and unconcerned. "You walk straight ahead, Bella. They are very close." Edward pointed somewhere into the darkness, gently nudging her to go into that direction.

"They?" Bella asked without turning around.

"They are a pack, Bella. They wouldn't leave him alone in his state of mind, right?" Edward answered, but there was something in his voice she didn't like. There was a smugness she had never heard before either. Somehow, he looked too pleased, too smug, and almost sly. It confused Bella profoundly as she was getting even more worried and deeply concerned about her friend.

Reluctantly, Bella started to walk, stopped, waited, took some more steps and stopped again. It was a full moon and the forest was tinted in a pale light. It was enough to help her see where she walked so she wouldn't trip and fall.

She jumped when suddenly she heard a high-pitched shriek and a deep guttural growl very close nearby. "What was that?" she asked breathless, pressing her hand over her hammering heart and turned around to look back at Edward. Almost hidden from the darkness, she could only see him, because of his white skin that reflected the moonlight. Edward nodded encouraging. "Just go ahead," he called quietly.

Bella finally walked. All she was thinking about was finding Jacob. She took slow, cautious steps forward, following the direction her husband had directed her to go. "Jacob?" she called out, fear creeping up her spine. She received no answer, but those strange, startling noises that conjured up a strange heat in her belly. The hoarse grunts and growls settled in her body like little shocks, drawing her closer and frightening her at the same time.

She finally registered that the noises she heard very much sounded like a couple having sex, her suspicion was being confirmed when she heard a male voice bellow his lust through the entire forest. She wanted to bolt and run, not wanting to barge in on the lucky couple, but her feet dragged her forward, curiosity getting the better of her.

This was when she saw him!

She was not able to move or say anything. In fact, she could not remember how to breathe for a moment. The scene in front of her was incredible and she was in utter shock. After the last groan it suddenly became very silent and she only heard her own harsh breathing.

She shoved away a branch with her hands to get a better look and then a twig broke under her feet. Taking in the tiny meadow before her, she stared at them: Jacob lying on top of Leah. Both were naked, panting, and entangled with each other, wearing scratch and bite marks on their sweat-covered bodies. Bella gasped aghast at this sight.

Their heads whipped around simultaneously. "Bells…" Jake choked out, clearly in shock about seeing her here. Leah groaned in annoyance and covered her face with her hands, rubbing it irritated.

Slowly, Jacob sat up and his face became an almost emotionless mask as he stared at defiantly. His hand rested on Leah's hip, squeezing it slightly. The intimate gesture made Bella feel like an intruder.

Not bothering with his nakedness, he got up. Everything about him was deliberate provocation and that hard 'dare you' look on his face made her skin crawl. Bella blushed fiercely as she saw his body in all its glory, the pale moonlight giving it an alluring shimmer.

Painfully slowly, Jacob reached for something that lay on the ground, not even attempting to hide his manhood from her. He put a shirt around Leah's shoulder in a caring gesture, then searched for his pants and slipped them on.

"Don't you think you're at the wrong party, Mrs. _Cullen_?" he asked snidely, finally breaking the silence, fastening his pants.

Bella flinched at his words and the cold tone in his voice. She clenched her hands, her nails biting into her palms. They stared at each other again until the silence became painful. It hurt to see him with Leah, but why to blame him? She opened her mouth, but nothing came out but a broken, "Jake…"

For a moment, the emotionless mask of his face fell and the look in his eyes told her everything...his hurt and disgust, the anger and despair, his love and also… shame. Then his face was as cold and hard as before.

Leah stood up and came to stand beside Jacob. Holding the shirt together before her chest, she addressed Bella calmly and similar emotionless, "I think you better go now."

Bella had never felt that humiliated before. She flinched again and stuttered, "I… I'm sorry, Jake, I am so sorry... I didn't want to… I… I needed…I wanted… to see you and talk to you… but I… It doesn't change a thing." A strangled sob escaped her throat as she turned around and ran back the path she came from. She hoped that Jake would call after her, but he didn't. She hoped that maybe he would follow her, but he didn't. She fell, twice, but he wasn't there to pick her up.

Tears ran down her face when she returned to the treaty line and the spot where Edward waited for her. "Edward," she choked out, blinded by her tears.

"What is it, love?" he asked concerned and wrapped his arms around her. She fell into his embrace, sobs shaking her small body.

"Take me away from here," she demanded tiredly and, without saying a word, Edward lifted her up and carried her back to the car. Gingerly, he placed her on her seat and buckled her in.

A moment later, he started the car, content that he had made the right decision when he let her walk in on the mutt fucking the pack bitch. He felt excited, knowing that seeing her 'best friend' like this had been the final straw for Bella to realize that she truly belonged to him, Edward, that he was the one she needed and loved, that he was the only one that could take care of her and treat her right, and he was going to make sure that she would forget about this dog once and for all.

Bella had her eyes closed exhaustedly. She didn't see her husband's satisfied, smug smile. She didn't see the triumph in his eyes. She didn't know that he intently listened to Jacob's thoughts; that he was basking in her friend's regret and pain. She didn't hear him thinking about a filthy dog having learned his lesson…

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	4. Hostage of Love - So let it be

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Chapter warning: ****Discusses auto-aggression (DSH). Don't read if this offends you in any way.**

**Chapter beta:****JUL5857 **

_**Hostage of Love**_

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**Chapter 3**

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_**~ So let it Be ~**_

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The leech lover did want she could do the best: She ran away. Leah hadn't expected any different from her. With her coming here she had managed to break Jacob even more. He stood motionless and stared after Bella. His hands were clenched to fists. He was shaking, itching to run after her.

"Shit," Leah uttered. "I'm sorry, Jake." Her compassion came from the bottom of her heart.

They both could hear Bella trash through the woods and Leah put her hand on Jacob's shoulder when Bella fell with a cry and he jerked forward on instinct. They also smelled the faint scent of her leech which made it completely clear that she hadn't come on her own. At least, the leech had respected the treaty line, because if he hadn't neither she nor Jacob wouldn't have tolerated the breach of treaty. No, not today.

Jacob vibrated with suppressed anger and when he heard Bella's strangled "Take me away from here," he flinched and hunched over. Car doors closed, and then the car roared to life, speeding away with screeching tires.

"FUCK!" Jacob yelled, finally letting go of his fury. His fists smashed into the tree nearby, randomly first, then deliberately hackling it to shreds. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck."

"Don't, Jacob. You're hurting yourself." Leah wrapped her arms around his middle, trying to make him stop, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't pull him away. Nevertheless, Leah was determined to not let him go on like that. No matter how much he hurt over the leech lover, inflicting damage on yourself never did any good. She knew from her own experiences.

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~~oOo~~

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Jacob didn't care that Leah tried to pull him away, nor did he really recognize Leah in his wrath. He wanted to hurt. It was all he ever felt anyway. His fists made contact with the next tree.

He was upset and disgusted with himself for the words he had spat at Bella. He hadn't wanted to be such a jerk, but shame and regret made him lash out without thinking. If he had paid more attention to the things around him, she wouldn't have needed to find him with Leah. How much had she seen? How long had she watched them? He couldn't stop thinking about the way Bella had looked at him and the horror in her eyes finding him like _this_…

Why had she come? What did she want? What made her leave her wedding party and come after him? Had she finally come to her senses and wanted to let him know that she had chosen HIM?

Jacob laughed bitterly. "It doesn't change a thing," she had said, before she turned around and fled. Her words echoed in his ears, mocking him, taunting him. _It doesn't change a thing._ But of course not... She didn't love him enough. He wasn't what she needed. He wasn't enough. Wishing she would choose him was a hope beyond hope.

_So why, for crying out loud, why did she come here?_ This thought wouldn't leave him alone. She must have had a reason. At least, she should have had the guts to explain herself. But no, she ran away as if he wasn't worth the effort. She ran away as if he didn't mean a fucking thing, as if he was nothing. She was so damn good at running away, running back to her leech husband.

Jacob couldn't take it anymore, and he pummeled the third tree methodically. Left. Right. Left. Skin meeting bark, bone meeting trunk. His skin wasn't impenetrable; he felt it break and start bleeding.

"Jacob, don't," Leah said and moved beside the battered fir. He had forgotten that she was here and he stopped so he wouldn't hit her instead of the tree. Looking up, he recognized her compassion and concern which made him feel even worse. He didn't need her pity, and he sure as hell didn't want her to feel sorry for him.

Lowering his head, attempting to hide his emotional turmoil, he noticed the raw flesh of his hands. He was bleeding like stuck pick. "Fuck," he muttered and all strength and fury left him when realizing the darn senselessness of his situation. His legs gave out under him and he dropped to the ground. Burying his bleeding hands in his hair, he pulled his head onto his knees, wanting to disappear, to dissolve into nothingness, to turn back the time and make things undone. _He should have jumped when he had the chance…_

Jacob noticed he was crying, bawling like a baby to be precise. Not only did he have to endure this pain, his memories, and his regret, _she_ was making him weak in the worst way. She made him cry and he hadn't cried ever since the night his mother died. He felt emasculated, humiliated, and the worst part was that he wasn't alone in this moment of weakness.

He slightly lifted his head, wiping his wet cheeks dry at his pants. Leah sat beside him. She wasn't too close, let him have his space and he was grateful for that, but still she was witnessing his breakdown.

"I'm sorry. It was not my place to send her away," she said, cautiously, as if expecting him to explode again.

Jacob shrugged his shoulders. "Don't be sorry," he responded, feeling raw and stripped. "She left to become a leech. She doesn't belong here anymore…" His voice broke.

Leah shifted, her head turning bright red for a change. "She came to see you. Maybe, if I hadn't… and she hadn't seen it…"

Jake jerked around and looked at Leah fully. "Leah, stop. Don't even start with that." Eyeing his swollen, bleeding knuckles, he stated coldly, "She only came here to ease her conscience. I've had  
it with her I'm sorry's. I mean nothing to her. I wasn't enough. I'm not what she wants and I certainly don't need her pity."

"I know how you're feeling, Jacob. I know how much you hurt." Leah slowly inched closer and took his hands between her own, inspecting the damage he had done to himself. He let her. It would only be a matter of minutes, an hour at max, until his wounds were healed anyway.

When she turned his hand, looking at it from all sides, she revealed the insides of her wrists. Small, pale lines—scars from long-healed cuts—crossed the tender flesh repeatedly.

"Leah." He inhaled sharply, grabbing her arms so fast, she couldn't pull them away anymore. Jacob searched his memories, trying to remember if he ever caught a glimpse of Leah inflicting those wounds on herself.

She blushed embarrassed and jerked away, wrapping her arms around her knees.

"Why did you…?" Jacob asked and Leah pressed her lips into a thin line, making it obvious what her scars were about. "Because of Sam?"

"Yes," Leah answered briskly.

Jacob could tell that she wasn't up for a conversation and that she hated to even think about Sam and how he had treated her, but he had to ask anyway. "Did you do it because he left you?"

"What do you think, Black?" Leah yelled at him, eyes shooting daggers. "That's none of your business. Let it go, alright?"

"Stop being a bitch again, Clearwater. We're in the same boat, remember?" Jacob responded, rubbing his temples. His head started to hurt, badly. "Tell me. Does it get better some day?"

Leah laughed, loudly, sharply and desperately. "Do I look alright to you? No. It doesn't. Not for me anyway."

Jacob cocked his head to the side and nodded. He could emphasize so much. "That's what I thought," he whispered hoarsely. He might not have imprinted on Bella, but his feelings ran just as deep, and comparing his feelings for Bella with Leah's feelings for Sam, he knew that Leah had suffered the same.

"What made you stop, Leah?" Jacob asked, gliding his fingers over his wrists. "Why did we never see anything of it when we are phased?" He realized how difficult it must have been for Leah. She had nobody to talk to and the whole pack treated her less than civil. Gosh, what pricks they all were. He felt a rush of emotions going through him and he truly was interested in what she was thinking and feeling. He wanted to know, wanted to learn what went on in Leah's head. After all, maybe… just maybe he could try to forget about Bel… _her_.

"I didn't want him to have that power over me. In hurting myself I gave him that power." Leah declared, shrugging her shoulders, and laid her cheek onto her knees. Then she whispered, "I stopped because I was hurting my parents with what I did to myself. My father was totally out his mind when he found me cutting myself that one day." She closed her eyes, trying to hide that painful memory from him. "I don't think about it ever. I'm not proud of what I've done and I don't want anyone to know. I banned if from my thoughts."

Unexpectedly, she grabbed his hand, pressing hard, making him wince in pain. "Don't you ever, ever tell anybody about his," she threatened him fiercely, before she let go of his hand.

"Dammit," he cursed, shaking his throbbing hand, but nodded, understanding the pain and despair she was feeling. Then he inspected his hands again, the cuts and bruises were healing quite nicely and he wondered what his father would say if he ever found out what he were about to do tonight. His running away had been hard enough for him already. What if he had pulled through with his death wish? Would his father have been strong enough to survive losing his only son? His sister, Rachel, was coming home next week. She for sure would prefer still having a brother then… How was it again? Suicide was a coward's way out? The guilt Jacob felt crashing down on him was immense.

No. Jacob wouldn't put his father through this. He would welcome the pain about Bella's loss as pain had been part of him for so long already, ever since she chose death over him. So be it, he thought grimly, the pain he felt in his heart at his moment almost crushing him completely. She had ripped his heart to pieces, but he would live with whatever there was left. After all, giving up wasn't in his nature.

"They will all know we got it on…" Leah murmured, eventually breaking the silence, twisting a strand of her hair in her fingers. "Sam will be so pissed off when he finds out."

"Yeah," Jacob agreed, a sudden feeling of rebellion and triumph perking up in him. She had given him what his brothers lusted for. It wasn't a secret that Leah fueled their fantasies. It also wasn't a secret that Sam still thought about Leah, that he couldn't forget about her completely. He waved his hand dismissively. "I guess they'll have to live with that."

"Right," Leah chuckled. "But I almost feel sorry for Seth…"

"Hmm." Jacob really felt uncomfortable about that, wondering how he would be feeling if his brothers had sex with his sisters. He shuddered at the thought. That really would be awkward.

"I wasn't too rough with you, was I? I'm sorry, if I…" Jacob blurted out, thinking that he had handled Leah like a madman.

"No. No," she assured, smirking. "You were great. Really!"

He couldn't help himself but to be honestly proud of himself. After all, it had been his first time, but when he relived those minutes he was suddenly overcome by the realization that they had sex without using protection!

"Shit!" he called out and jumped up. His heart hammered in his chest as he faced Leah who stared at him in annoyance.

"What's wrong with you, Black?" she drawled irritated.

"I didn't pull out," Jacob confessed, wishing the ground would open and swallow him up. "I'm such a fucking idiot! Leah…" he gulped. "I'm taking full responsibility, alright? If you… if…"

"Shut up," she interrupted, and even though it was still dark, he could see her face darkening in a deep red. "In case you didn't recognize. I'm a dead end… Don't worry. You won't get me pregnant."

Feeling awkward and relieved likewise, Jacob sat down next to Leah and nudged her with his shoulder slightly, attempting to comfort her. Should he ask her about it? Ask, if it mattered to her? After all, it could be a tender subject. Jacob realized how little he actually knew about Leah and for some reason, he wished it was different.

Of her own accord, she said, "Phasing pretty much fucked up my life and all of my plans. I wanted to go to College so that I could help my Dad running the Tribal Affairs. I even had my scholarship at WSU. When I was 30 I wanted to be married to Sam, live in my own house and have our first child." She shook her head, balling her hands to fists. "Look where I ended up. I'm stuck on this reservation with no father, no college degree, and no fiancé and... and…"

Her voice broke and Jacob wrapped his arm around her shoulders, expecting her to shrug him off. To his surprise she leaned into his touch, for a moment only, and then she pulled back, asking, "What were your plans?"

Jacob shrugged his shoulders, picking at his crust-covered hands. "Nothing spectacular. Mainly, graduating school, maybe working as a mechanic. Later on opening my own car shop… Only after phasing did I realize how my live could have turned out if I hadn't…"

For a moment, Jacob and Leah just sat together, each plunging into their own misery.

Her next question caught him off-guard. "I was wondering if what happened earlier was a one-time thing?" she asked, suddenly sounding insecure and vulnerable.

At a loss of words, Jacob shrugged his shoulders, again, curling and flexing his aching fingers, feeling the bones cracking underneath the sore skin. "Dunno," he finally croaked.

"I will probably always love Sam," Leah began. "Hell, I don't know if I even want to date ever again…"

Jacob remained silent, feeling uncomfortable with the turn of the conversation.

"But, you know…" Their eyes met and Leah said bluntly, "Fucking you was the best thing that happened to me in a long time, and it made me forget about him quite effectively."

"Is that so?" For a moment, his face lit up as he grinned sheepishly.

"Yeah," she answered.

Then, they fell silent again, sitting beside each other, each thinking their gloomy thoughts.

Jacob wasn't sure if he wanted to indulge in anything close to a relationship yet, or ever, even when it was only about simply meeting their physical needs, but on the other hand… Leah was right. The  
sex had distracted him for a while and he needed to forget about Bella—if that  
was even possible.

He still loved Bella and he couldn't imagine giving his heart to another woman, but he had to try to move on. He had to try for his father and maybe even for his friends, his pack. Problem was, right now he couldn't see a future for him that had no Bella in it. The thought hurt so  
much. It was impossible.

He studied Leah's features. If she had survived losing Sam and his father had survived losing his wife, shouldn't he be strong enough to survive losing Bella? Again, he saw how attractive Leah was and the longer they sat here the better he got to know her, learning that she was just as interesting and attractive on the inside.

.

~~oOo~~

.

It was still dark, but being in tune with nature they could feel the new morning coming. His eyes fell on a cobweb covered in dewdrops. Tiny water droplets ran along the web, finally merging into one large droplet, suspending from a delicate thread. How much more charge could it take before it would tear? Would the thread rip at all or was it more likely that its heavy burden dropped down, threatening it no more?

Early morning birds started to sing their songs, totally oblivious of what the day would bring to them. Looking forward and living each day as it was coming was in their nature. Should this new morning also be the beginning of a new period in his life? Did he really want to let go of Bella? Was he ready?

"Bella is… was… it for me." Jacob finally said with a sad grimace at the break of dawn. "We would have been right for each other. I was her natural path."

"I know that." Leah stood up and wrapped the torn shirt tightly around her body. She laid her head back and inhaled deeply, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet. "You're not the jerk I thought you were, Jake…" She said, looking at him over her shoulder.

Jacob cleared his throat, feeling awkward when he realized that he was staring at her long, toned legs. "You're not that bad, either."

"We can be friends…" she suggested, her voice wavering just a little as she started walking up and down in front of him.

"Friends?" he asked, dumbfounded. When had Leah ever offered someone her friendship? He honestly couldn't remember.

"Yeah, friends with benefits," Leah said bluntly, running her hands through her hair. "A girl has needs, you know?"

A feeling of guilt rushed over him. He felt as if he was betraying Bella. _Fuck her,_ he thought, feeling bitter and snorted sarcastically. Bella had run away, she had married another. He should move on. He wouldn't wait for her, alright? She wouldn't come back anyway. SHE was throwing her life away. SHE wanted to be one of _them_. Why the fuck was HE feeling guilty? What the hell was wrong with him? But he knew it would never change, he would never be able to purge himself of Bella. Bella was his entire existence. He loved her with every ounce of his being. He would have to learn how to live with this pain in his heart… Always.

Suddenly, he had the feeling that his emotions were going to slither out of control again, and he couldn't allow that. He wouldn't cry, not in front of someone, not ever again. He was done being the pathetic wimp who was pining for a girl that would never love him back.

He straightened up and addressed Leah with a stern voice, "No strings attached."

"No feelings involved," she agreed, stopping in front of him.

He didn't like that he had to look up at Leah. It made his skin crawl. It didn't feel right. He shifted his position, trying to ignore the feeling, but his wolf still was too close to the surface and he couldn't stop the low growl.

Leah crouched down, sensing his irritation. A gush of air brushed over him, bringing her scent to his attention. He could smell their mingled juices on her body and damn, if that wasn't a turn on. His eyes quickly moved over her and he recognized the slick trail of wetness dampening her inner thighs. Fuck, he wanted to do her again.

Remembering how his pain had moved into the background when they were fucking, he took her hand and pulled her closer. "We should seal our deal," he rasped.

"We should definitely do that," Leah answered in a low, seductive voice and leaned in for a kiss. Their lips met, igniting the same fire as before. Without hesitation she opened his pants, pulled out his already-erect dick and sank down on him.

Jacob sighed and lay down, letting her sit on his cock, but he had to take control. Clasping his hands around her hip, his hands biting into her flesh, he tilted his pelvis and roughly pushed upwards. He groaned when Leah's head fell back and her tits bounced as he rammed into her. She was so sexy to look at and it was him who fucked her.

Like before, she met him with equal force, even when he was rough and ruthless. Like before, their desperate fucking took away some of their mental pain. They wanted to forget and feel some peace of mind and satisfaction as they both were too emotionally exhausted to go on like this any longer without being able to fight against it.

.

~~oOo~~

.

That night, they forged a bond that would work out quite well for them. At least they hoped.

Jake learned that sometimes you found friends when you the least expected it. Leah made him remember that there were people in his life he could trust completely. He would let go of Bella and accept that he had lost her to another man, that she was responsible for her own actions. He knew that he would carry his love for her in his heart forever. He learned to accept that life indeed would go on without her, but most importantly, he learned that having lost a fight didn't necessarily mean being defeated.

Losing Bella made him bitter, but also very strong. He secretly promised himself that he would never ever give his heart away again—no woman should ever be able to hurt him like this.

Leah knew what she was getting herself into. She didn't expect or demand that Jacob fell in love with her. Their newfound relationship was based on their physical needs only; her heart would always belong to Sam.

_**A/N: Thanks for reading guys, please let us know your thoughts...**_


	5. Hostage of Love - Painful Truth

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of SM. No copyright infringement is intended.**

** .**

**Chapter Warning:** Emotional abusive Edward...go figure!

**Chapter Beta**: JUL5857

.

**~Hostage of Love~**

**.**

**.**

_All I've undergone_

_I will keep on_

_Underneath it all_  
_We feel so small_  
_The heavens fall_  
_But still we crawl_

_All I've undergone_  
_I will keep on_

_ ._

_The Way out is Through, Nine Inch Nails_

_._

_._

**Chapter 4**

**~ Painful Truth ~**

.

.

The ride to the airport was quiet. She shivered uncontrollably, couldn't feel a thing but the shock about what she had seen.

Why did Jacob tell her that he was in love with her, when he obviously had a thing going with Leah? Wow, she would have never guessed that at all. She had believed him when he told her he would fight for her until her heart stopped beating. She had felt bad for her best friend, thinking her going away with Edward would cause him pain.

Bella had seen the pain and devastation in his eyes, when his friends had dragged him away from the party, but when she ran after him he had been with Leah, fucking the living daylights out of her. It didn't make sense at all. Whenever she had looked into Jake's eyes, there only had been sincerity and pure love for her, Bella. When had that changed? How had that changed?

She hadn't thought that Jacob would be the kind of guy that had sex with a girl he wasn't in love with. She even had considered him inexperienced and innocent. How could he sleep with Leah when he was in love with her? Clenching her hands into the car seat, she corrected herself. Jake didn't 'sleep' with Leah or romantically made love to her. He had fucked her like an animal. Not that Bella really knew… but she had expected sex to be different. Was it really like this? This kind of rough?

The thought somehow terrified her. When you let loose like that then it really was dangerous for her to be intimate with Edward. She was too fragile being handled like that. Heck, seeing Jake pounding into Leah like a berserk, she wondered how Leah managed to deal with it at all.

But being Bella, she shoved these thoughts away. Edward wasn't like that. He was a gentleman; he would be careful and stop rather than hurt her. Bella was more disappointed in what Jacob had done. She had been so naive to believe her friend would be devastated or furious. Apparently, having a nookie in the middle of the woods had been of more importance than a last clearing talk with his best friend. She had been willing to make her amends, but after Leah rudely sent her away, her mouth was glued, her mind blank.

Obviously, the bomb she had dropped on him about having sex with Edward hadn't been so important to him like he had said. She never understood what Jacob saw in her anyway. In Leah, Bella was sure, Jacob had found the better girl. She was his equal, being a werewolf herself and all… How could she have been so wrong? What made her think that Jacob would be pining over her? Had it been a game for him? His declaration of love, his will to fight for her until her heart stopped beating—were they only words? Or was it part of his plan to keep her from becoming a vampire at all costs? She knew how much he hated that thought, but she also knew that he was sincere when he told her over and over that he loved her. She felt it in her heart too.

Still, she didn't understand a thing anymore. She was confused, felt hurt and rejected, but why? She had chosen Edward over Jacob. She had married him for crying out loud. Then why did it hurt so much when she thought of Jacob, why was there this ache in the pit of her stomach? Seeing Jacob with Leah had hurt so much more than she ever thought possible. She should be happy that that he was moving on, but she just still couldn't understand…

Seeking refuge from her pain, she let herself fall into numbness, casting herself away into the familiar blackness that had been her constant companion during the months Edward was gone. Refusing to even look at her husband she slowly drifted off to sleep.

.

~~oOo~~

.

Bella refused to fully wake up at the airport, numbly letting Edward handle the check-in, drifting in and out of sleep, and only allowed herself to wake up from her stupor when they landed in Rio. Their journey didn't end there, Edward explained with a proud look upon his face. A ride with the taxi, then Edward maneuvering a modern, expensive looking motor boat through the dark ocean in the middle of the night, they headed for their final destination.

He did all the talking, telling her a story about the island that Carlisle had given to Esme, and which they were allowed to spend their time on during their honeymoon. Bella didn't listen at all, all she felt was an icy numbness possessing her body and mind.

Finally, the island appeared before her eyes. The house (similar to the Cullen's home in Forks) was illuminated, its doors open, inviting them in. Edward wrapped his arms around her. "You're cold, love," he mumbled, concern etching his face. He carried her into the house, walking straight through the hall and into a big bathroom. "I'm going to run you a bath. Why are you freezing? We're in Rio, love. It's August and it's hot, why are you freezing?"

She didn't respond to him. When he put her on her feet, she kept standing, not being able to even crook a single finger. In her mind, she saw Jacob moving over Leah, strong muscles rippling under smooth skin, and then the hateful look in his eyes, when he recognized her watching them. Bella shuddered and groaned. Slowly sliding to the floor, she covered her head with her arms, wanting to disappear into soothing nothingness. What was wrong with her?

"Love, your bath is ready," Edward said and she was lifted up by icy hands, her jacket being stripped off from her body. She felt his nose skimping along her jaw and neck. Then a menacing hiss filled the silence and he retreated, leaping backwards, practically crashing into the bathroom wall. "This filthy mutt," he spat, looking at her with so much hatred in his eyes she shrank back in fear. "He left marks on you."

Bella crossed her arms before her body defensively, but for the first time since they had left Forks her body was warming up. She studied her arms, noticing purple bruises—imprints left by Jacob's fingers. The sight shocked her, sending a jolt of electricity through her and she closed her tiny hands around her upper arms reflexively, splaying her fingers out to grasp as much as she could. They were the last reminder she had of Jacob. Was it wrong when she wanted to hold onto it for a little while longer?

"He left his marks on you, polluted you…" Edward sputtered exasperated and in this moment his face was really ugly in his fury. Eyebrows drawn tightly together, eyes clenched to small slits, lips curled back revealing his gleaming, venomous teeth. "I can't believe I did not kill him right there. He should have been punished for touching you on our Wedding Day," he spat.

"That's ridiculous. What are you talking about?" she replied, her voice loud and shrill. .

His eyes were pitch-black with fury as he stood with his clenched fists in the corner of the tiny, but exuberantly refurbished bathroom. Trying to regain his control and composure, he whispered, "The mongrel touched what is mine."

"Don't call him that. He has a name," Bella screamed enraged. "And I'm not a prize you won. I've chosen you, Edward, but for the life of me… right now, I don't see the reason why…"

"You're nervous, love, upset with what you've seen. Don't be. We're going to talk when you've calmed down, love. You're not yourself right now." Edward spun around and left the bathroom. The door slammed shut, making Bella wince.

She just stood there and faced the door, staring after Edward in disbelief. Slowly, she let her arms drop and looked at the bruises—perfectly displaying Jacob's long fingers. His face appeared in her mind, pleading with her to overthink her decision concerning her wedding night. What had she done?

Trancelike, she slipped out of her dress and undergarments and sat down in the bathtub. The hot water engulfed her, smooth bubbles caressing her skin. Closing her eyes, she couldn't stop the pictures in her head, running like a movie, showing her again and again what she had witnessed in the woods.

She sobbed, feeling pain and regret. Her last time with Jacob shouldn't have been like that. She had wished for a goodbye with best wishes and heartfelt "I love you" and "I will never forget you". She had wished that Jacob would understand and forgive her.

Bella's thoughts were all over the place and suddenly a new question came up in her mind. How did it come that Edward didn't know where he was sending her in to? He must have heard what was going on in the forest. Dammit! Even she had heard it! Why hadn't he stopped her? Edward, old-fashioned and seemingly prude, should have stopped her and not let her walk in on them…

She gasped, whispering, "He did it on purpose." Everything made sense now. This strange glint in his eyes when he finally agreed that she could see Jacob once more. His careless behavior in the woods as he let her walk, unprotected, while he stayed behind using the treaty to his excuse.

"You did this on purpose," she repeated, speaking louder this time. He would hear her. She knew that he was right out there, hovering close to the bathroom door. She could feel him, as she always felt when he was near. For the first time, she noticed the cold shiver in the back of her neck as what it was. Her body clearly told her that something dangerous was near. She had only always ignored the warning, misinterpreted the tingling as a sign of joy. But joy shouldn't send cold shivers down her spine, shouldn't make the tiny her hairs in her neck stand on end…

Panicking, she climbed out of the bathtub and wrapped the large towel she found in one of the cabinets tightly around her body. The door opened a crack and she spun around, startled, but he only shoved her suitcase in, closing the door without saying a word. Relieved that she wouldn't have to face him yet, she opened the suitcase and searched for something comfortable to wear, only to find that Alice had replaced each and every piece of Bella's wardrobe with new stuff that absolutely wasn't Bella's style.

Again, she couldn't hold back her tears as she pulled out a blue jersey dress and a white knitted sweater—the closest things to comfortable—and only found flimsy lace lingerie to wear underneath. Putting these clothes on, she felt like a lamb lead to the slaughter. How pathetic was that? She huffed seeing her reflection in the mirror. Pathetic, real pathetic. It was time to clear some things up, but at the same time she was nervous, sensing the discussion would change everything.

"Feeling better, love?" he asked as soon as she stepped out of the bathroom and into the hall.

She contemplated for a moment what he asked and felt the anger rise from deep down of the pit of her stomach "Do I feel better?" she asked back. "Do I feel better?" She was getting hysteric and close to freaking out. The last several hours, no, the last several days in fact, had just been too much for her. The stress of the wedding preparations, the actual wedding, the talk with Renee, meeting Jake, fighting with Jake, recognizing Jake's heart shattering and his brothers desperately pulling him away, the pain in his eyes… OMG, and finding Jake going at it with Leah.

She couldn't ignore this strange ever increasing need for Jake and she also couldn't ignore anymore that Edward was making her… _feel wrong?_ There was this tiny voice in her head, her own voice, whispering repeatedly that she couldn't breathe as easy with Edward, that she wasn't warm with him, that she wasn't laughing with him the way she was laughing with Jake, and only rarely did she feel at ease and really comfortable around her husband.

Why had she been so stupid? Why didn't she pay any attention to herself and to what she really wanted, to what she really needed? Now that she was married and it was too late to change anything, it became painful to realize that her feelings for her best friend were... _more_. Why did those thoughts seem to be getting clearer only now? Why not before?

"How could you, Edward? You knew what Jacob was doing! How could you let me walk in on them?" she screamed and before she knew it, she threw one of those ridiculous strappy sandals she still held in her hands at her husband. One managed to hit him in his chest, the other shoe he had caught, letting it drop to the floor in a careless gesture.

"Relax, love. I can explain…" He said patronizingly and held his hands up, trying to soothe her. It only enraged her more.

"What's there to explain, Edward?" she screeched her voice shrill with aggravation and hurt. "How could you do this to me? How could you do this to Jake?"

.

~~oOo~~

.

Edward blinked, surprised that his laid-back and calm Bella screamed at him like a harpy and even threw her shoes at him. He should be amused, instead a slight annoyance with her behavior showed on his face. He didn't appreciate that his wife talked to him like that, but she was still young and he had all the time in the world teaching her how to behave around him.

"I wanted you to see the he's not worth it," he said to her dismissively. He was done allowing his wife to pine after another man. He would make her stop that, even when it would be hard for her, but she belonged to him now and he wouldn't let her go anymore. "Do you want to know what he was thinking? You didn't cross his mind at all." Edward lied, blatantly. "All he was thinking about was how deep he could ram himself into that bitch," he stated coldly. Only he would ever know that with every thrust the mongrel was trying to force Bella from his mind. It didn't faze him that Bella winced and fresh tears sprang from her eyes. She would soon forget about her so-called best friend, he was sure of it.

"Oh, God," she gasped and paled, shocked by his crude words. Her arms flew up to wrap around her chest. Unknowingly, her hands covered the place where those marks were, and Edward felt his temper spiking. He grabbed Bella's arm and pulled her into the huge living room, gentle enough to not hurt her, but hard enough to let her know how mad he was.

Remembering what he had seen in Jacob's head made him furious. The mutt had no right wanting Bella. Bella was HIS! He had won and nobody and nothing would ever be able to take Bella away from him now. Had he been willing to give her up, before the wedding, now he wouldn't.

It was Jacob's luck that Edward hadn't recognized her bruises earlier. If he weren't as far away he would approach the mutt and kill him. But then, it would be a better punishment for the mongrel to let him live on with his guilt. Catching Jacob's thoughts in departing, he had heard how guilty the boy felt, how remorseful he was for what he had done, how he hated that Bella had seen them.

"How could you, Edward? He was naked and I saw his..." Bella was totally upset and beside herself. Waving her hand frantically, she blushed deeply, coughing embarrassed, before she choked out, "DICK!"

Edward forced himself to keep up a relaxed, controlled stance, although he was boiling inside. That had been a risk he had been willing to take. "It doesn't matter anymore, Bella. You're married to me now."

Looking at those marks triggered something primal deep inside Edward, urging him to leave his marks on his wife, to make her his for once and all times. He approached her slowly, thinking that after all it was their wedding night and that she had been begging for the real experience.

She smelled so delicious today, ripe like a fruit ready to be picked up and eaten. Her smell made his mouth water and his groins ache and he fought hard not to pounce on her and just take her. Did she know that tonight her body was fertile and willing to take a man's seed? He groaned, for a moment giving in to the fantasy of her body swollen with his child. It was sick, because he knew he wasn't able to father a child anymore. His body was dead, as dead as can be, but the predator in him nevertheless marveled in the sight of her huge, frightened eyes as she stared at him, seeing and realizing his internal struggle.

But he loved her. He didn't want to do her any harm. Why was he thinking about taking her when she was so mad at him that she wouldn't agree to his advances? Or maybe she wanted him nevertheless, and all he needed to do was making the first move? He stepped closer and her scent hit him like a brick wall. He smelled her fury, desperation, but mostly he smelled her fear as she shrank back in the farthest corner of the couch. Why was she afraid of him now? Had she finally realized that he was a monster? He had tried to tell her all along. Had she now recognized the true monster she married?

He now realized that her fear in fact smelled very appealing to him and that her blood was calling to him more than ever. He felt his vampire nature breaking free. All he could think about anymore was sinking his teeth into her throat, to drink her blood, to finally taste what had drawn him to her in the first place. He might just really consider changing her tonight, their first night as man and wife so she would be forever his.

.

~~oOo~~

.

She was scared and her heart pounded furiously as he stalked closer ever so slowly. Paralyzed, she sat down on the couch, not able to move a single finger or even inhale deeply enough. It didn't take her longer than two seconds to feel dizzy and nauseated.

He rounded the couch, coming to a halt behind her. His cold breath wafted across her neck as he leaned in, inhaling deeply. "You smell so good," he cooed, pressing his lips on the exposed place where her shoulder and neck met.

Bella jerked forward, wanting to run away from him. Her stomach clenched in fear now. She wasn't ready—neither for him and a "real" wedding night, nor for him to turn her into a vampire. "Don't, Edward," she gasped, and then his hands wrapped around her arms, holding her in place.

"I hate seeing those marks on you," he hissed and his hands pressed into her flesh, harder. "I will make you forget about him."

She winced in pain and cried out. "Oww, Edward, what are you doing?" The pressure of his hands increased, stopping the blood flow and making her eyes water. "You're hurting me."

Edward dropped his hands and was kneeling in front of her in an instant. "You're forcing me… That's what you're doing to me, Bella love," he murmured. His hands on her knees forced her knees apart and he crawled between her thighs, placing a kiss onto the vulnerable spot under her ear and then onto her jugular. "From now on you'll stop speaking about him… love."

Her breath hitched, but not with sensual excitement as it used to do before (or so she thought). Placing her hands on his granite-hard chest, she tried to shove him away. She failed. "Edward, no," she breathed, her body stiff with fear. "Edward, stop. I'm afraid."

"You've always wanted this. Don't be afraid, love. I won't hurt you," he whispered and his lips moved over her mouth. Then, his mouth was on hers, molding her lips in that familiar way. Yes, he was careful, but no, she still didn't want this.

Bella shoved at him, using all of her strength, but his hands on her hips held her securely in place. "Don't. Edward, you're scaring me," she pleaded, but he still didn't stop. In response, his one of his cold hands moved up higher, closing around her waist in a possessive manner.

"Bella, I love you. You're finally mine," he moaned and glided his lips along her jaw and down to her neck, his teeth nipping at her tender skin, and she was in panic that he might accidently (or not so accidently) break it, infecting her with his venom.

"No!" she shouted as loud as she could and grasped his hair, yanking hard. "Stop this right now. I don't want it."

Finally, he drew back, disappointment displaying on his face.

"Oh God," she sobbed and jumped to her feet, bolting through the room. She entered the first room she could find, slamming the door shut behind her. Her fingers shook badly as she searched for the light switch and simultaneously for a lock or key. She found the switch, turning the light on, but there was nothing to lock the door. Frantically, she searched the room for anything to at least block it, seeing that she was standing in a study. A sturdy chair must do and the fear and panic made her strong enough to shove this chair before the door, hoping that it would stop Edward from entering. She knew that if he wanted in he would be in the room in no time. She would never be able to stop him and the thought drove her almost crazy.

Her tears flowed without ceasing and she sank down, frightened pressing her back into a corner. What had she gotten herself into? Edward was acting weird, dangerous, true to his vampire nature and she was all alone on this island with him. She looked around frantically, her breath leaving her in small gasps and sobs, in the hope to find a phone or computer, but the antique desk and every other surface were empty.

She could stay in here for a while. As long as Edward only stayed outside and wouldn't try to come in. Her eyes flitted to the heavy chair in front of the door and then, out of the corner of her eye, she recognized a movement coming from the long window.

Edward!

He was standing outside, stock still, watching her hungrily through his black eyes. The dark night behind him made his pale features look almost ghostly when he lifted his hand and pressed it against the window pane.

Bella almost jumped out of her skin seeing him standing there and she let out a shrill, horrified scream. "Go away!" she yelled, clasping her hair, her throat hurting from her terrified shriek. "Don't come in here. Leave." On all fours she crawled behind an antique chest, hiding from him. "Go away."

She realized that she was hyperventilating from her panic attack, but as much as she tried to breath regularly, she couldn't. "No. No. No," she sobbed, soon feeling dizzy, why have I married him, why was I never thinking clearly about this, and why did I not listen to Jake.

The sound muffled through the window, she heard him say, "You're mine."

Her eyes rolled back into her head and her insides clenched with terror at his words. Why was it that it sounded so threatening? Her breathing increased even more and everything around her started swaying up and down. She fought the queasy feeling in her stomach, but it was useless. Grasping the hard wood of the chest to stay upright, she still keeled over and fainted.

Lifted and carried by hard, unyielding, ice cold arms, Bella dreamed of Jacob coming to her rescue. She called out for him, but no words escaped her lips as she fell deeper into her unconsciousness and then into a deep sleep, all the while dreaming of Jacob's warm embrace and wolves searching for her. Even dreaming she knew it was too late. No one would come for her. She was alone out here with Edward. She had forfeited her chances.

She fought this awareness, afraid she would go insane with fear and regret and she was thankful when the dreams stopped and only darkness and quiet surrounded her. Soon enough, she floated in the darkness and started dreaming again and in her dream she was back in Forks, in the woods, a silent witness to what Jacob and Leah were doing, how he moved confidently, powerfully and passionately over and within the other woman.

For the first time, she saw that her best friend had become a man. He'd become a man a long time ago, but she had never been willing to acknowledge this fact before. Bella realized that Jacob was more grown-up than she was, although she was older, and that he carried a confidence and power that she would never possess. There were more things she became aware of, but they were lost whenever she woke up for a short while, before drifting off again.

Finally, the sun rose, setting her body and the room she was in aglow. For a small moment, her subconscious mind played images of herself lying beside Jacob and not Leah. He held her in his arms, lovingly, securely, tenderly, and she marveled in his warmth and in his love as she lost herself in the pleasure his body gave her. The peace and freedom she felt didn't last long and then, Jacob's heat was replaced by Edward's coldness as he hovered over her, his hard body moving within her, hurting her, bruising her.

When she opened her eyes, feathers were all around her. She was covered in them and her naked body felt cold, sore, and tender. Bruises were forming on her breasts, rips, belly, and thighs. And her belly was thick, unnaturally swollen and something horrible was moving inside it.

She woke up from her own terrified screams, her arms wrapped tightly around her. Letting her hands glide over her body, she noticed that she was fully dressed, no bruises or feathers on her, and that he body was flat as ever. "Just a dream, Bella. It was just a dream," she spoke to herself convincingly and looked around, trying to decipher where she was.

Bella found herself in a bedroom, on a wooden bed under a thick, white quilt. The sun was shining through huge windows and she could see the beach and the turquoise sea. Sitting up, she checked her surroundings, relieved that she was alone, that Edward wasn't sitting somewhere, watching her. How did she get here? She recalled being lifted and carried, realizing that Edward must have entered the study when she fell unconscious. The thought was terrifying. She couldn't find anything romantic in the idea anymore. She had been vulnerable and defenseless and he had taken advantage of that situation instead of leaving her alone as she had demanded.

"Shit, shit, shit," she cursed under her breath and stumbled out of the bed. In a sudden feeling of being watched, she pulled the curtains close, afraid Edward might unexpectedly stand there again. Her heart was pounding so hard, it hurt. Her hands were clammy, her entire body covered in cold sweat, and she was bursting to go pee.

He would know that she was awake when she'd go out there, searching for the toilet. Oh, God, he probably knew already, his supernatural hearing telling him that she was up just by her changed breathing and frantically beating heart. In an instant, she was back in bed, pulling the covers over her; just wanting to hide, hide, hide.

She was so afraid, so terribly afraid. Had she ever been so afraid before? Maybe when James had captured her? Or when Victoria came after her? Or when Laurent threatened to kill her? Trembling and sobbing she admitted to herself that this here, right now, was the worst situation ever—simply because she shouldn't be afraid of Edward, of her husband …

Bella didn't know how long she was hiding in the bed, but the urge to pee became stronger and stronger and finally couldn't be ignored anymore. Peeking out from under the blanket, she scanned the room, discovering that two doors were leading from it. Both doors were closed and she couldn't tell if one of them would lead her to a bathroom or not. If she didn't want to totally embarrass herself and pee her pants she needed to finally be brave and search for a toilet.

She got up and tiptoed to the closest door. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door, relieved to find a bathroom behind it. It was more luxurious than the one she had been using last night, but she couldn't care less. After having peed, she hurried back to the bed, hiding again, fearing the moment that Edward would come in, wanting to talk to her or worse.

When the evening came and he still hadn't come, she realized how quiet the house was and how empty it felt. What if she walked out the bedroom, searching for Edward, and tried to talk things out? She would tell him that she wanted to leave the island. She didn't feel safe alone with him any longer. Could she tell him that?

Cautiously and apprehensively, she walked to the other door and opened it quietly, slipping into a large hall. "Edward?" she called out timidly, but received no answer. Crossing the hall she found the living room. There, on a sturdy white table, was a folded card with her name on it. Reluctantly, she picked it up, flipping it open.

_Bella, I'll be gone for a while – hunting. Don't expect me back before this week is over. In the meanwhile you should try to remember why you agreed to marry me. I'm sure being alone will help you think and become aware how much you need me. Edward._

_P.S. You'll find enough food in the refrigerator. Thursday morning, our housekeepers will come and check on you. Use your time wisely._

Bella blanched, staring at the card in disbelief. He was leaving her behind? Leaving her all alone on this island? Leaving her alone again? In a daze, she walked back into the bedroom where she had spent most of her day and lay down on the bed, pulling her knees high up to her chest. Wrapping her hands around her knees, she rocked her body back and forth, trying to stay calm and not to freak out.

But wait, she still had her cell phone after all! She jumped up to look for her purse. She was sure it was in there, she had put it there herself. While searching frantically, she imagined calling… who would she call? She really needed to speak with… someone, her dad maybe? Where was her phone? No, she knew whom she really wanted to call. She needed to hear _his _voice, to hear that he was ok, she wanted to her _his _laugh, wanted to hear that _he_ didn't hate her. But who was she fooling? Deep down she knew it was over. Jacob had moved on after all. She felt the loss; it felt like as if a part of her was dying. She felt so lonely. She had never felt this alone ever before.

Her phone… where had she put her phone for crying out loud?

Finally, it hit her. Edward took her phone! He had not only left her to her own devices, he took her phone away, effectively completely cutting her off from the world. Her chest constricted and she gasped for air. He couldn't leave her all alone here. He couldn't do that to her!

There had got to be somebody on that freaking island… Bella rushed to the front door, turning the knob, hysterically. It wouldn't butch. It was locked! Oh God, how could he do that? He had freaking locked the door! She yanked and rattled at the door, screaming in frustration, until there was no strength to fight left in her anymore.

Tiredly, she trudged back to the bedroom and fell onto the bed, face-down, shutting the world out completely. She lay there for a long time, too confused and scared to even think. Being human, her body and mind could only take so much and when it became dark outside, she fell asleep, her only companions fear, cold, and regret. She slept deep and dreamt of Jacob that night. If only she were off this island already. If only she had her talk with Edward already. If, if, if…

Sunday came and went without Bella doing as much as lying under the comforter. She was starving, but too numb to go and fix something to eat.

On Monday, she got up, had a shower, ate an apple from the kitchen counter and explored the house some more. Bella became aware that Alice certainly must have had a vision about Edward leaving her all alone on the island. Would she say something to Carlisle or Jasper or would she keep the knowledge (and the outcome) to herself? Considering what Alice had told her on her wedding day she doubted that Alice would tell anybody anything.

Deeply depressed, Bella got under her covers again, but suddenly she became aware that her moping had to stop. What was she doing to herself? Why did she always hurt herself and everybody around her? Surely Edward deserved better, too. She had done everybody wrong, including herself—but not anymore! Starting today, she would be honest with herself and try to salvage whatever there might be left to be salvaged.

She was going to have a serious talk with Edward. She wanted to explain to him that the feelings she once felt were, in fact, very different now. Having realized so many things last night, she couldn't let fear get in the way any longer. She must and she would be standing up for what she finally knew.

She realized that she had to make some serious changes in her life. It was time that she was going to be responsible for herself from now on, responsible to mend broken hearts, to fix all the damages she had done to herself and others. With that thought, she felt an unexpected freedom, a sudden relief within her heart. Yes, she would start her life over and maybe one day, Jacob would forgive her…

Maybe, but right now she was starving.

She needed to get out of this bed and look for some food. She found the refrigerator filled with food, but she only used some eggs and cheese to make herself a quick omelet. She devoured every bit of food and felt better immediately. It was time indeed to do some serious thinking. This was when she remembered what Edward had written on the card "use your time wisely'. She could not help it, but to shudder at the thought. What had he meant?

In the night she also remembered that he had said in his note the house keepers would be coming this Thursday, and hope flared up within her. She suddenly knew that she wouldn't wait for Edward to come back. What if he was really threatening her? She wouldn't wait to find out, but leave the island with those house keepers and contact Carlisle as soon as she was back on the mainland.

Tuesday started with a thunderstorm that ripped her out of a nightmare where she had seen herself with feathers and bruises, her body swollen with a demon child. She had cried herself hoarse over the realization that Edward was torturing her with his absence, knowing fully well what it would do to her. She needed to get out of here.

Bella didn't sleep the night from Tuesday to Wednesday, because too much was going on in her head as she finally acknowledged to herself that Edward had a very manipulative and controlling streak. Having sleepovers with Alice whenever Edward was hunting that prevented her from seeing Jacob was quite guileless compared with Edward disabling her truck, Edward letting Jacob know about their marriage against her will, Edward letting her discover Jacob having sex with Leah. Along with that came the realization that Edward nearly always decided what was good for her and she had never really cared, because it had been sweet and romantic in the beginning and later on, it was easier, because he simply had the better arguments and she never felt clever enough to debate with him anyway. How could she have been that blind?

Wednesday night, she was absolutely determined that she had to get away from here as soon as possible. Exhaustedly, she settled on the bed and awoke in the early Thursday morning hours from the sound of an approaching motorboat.

Bella couldn't even remember everything she had said and done when the older couple unlocked the front door and came in. All that mattered was that she was able to convince the couple that she must leave as soon as possible and her crying and pleading had persuaded them to take her with them. The bruises on her arms, now turned from purple to an ugly greenish yellow, helped to convince them, too.

Infected by Bella's panic, they forced the old boat to its highest speed and drove back to the mainland, where Bella marched straight into an internet café and grabbed a phone and dialed.

"Rosalie, this is Bella. I need your help."

.

~~oOo~~

.

Jacob was crouched in a corner of his room, allowing the pain to flow freely once again. He couldn't stop thinking of why Bella had looked for him. What did she want, and why the FUCK didn't he stop her from running away from him? Her pleading eyes haunted him ever since. Silently, he let the tears fall down his face…

.

**A/N: Thank you guys for sticking with us! More to come soon. Please, leave us a short review. Reviews make us happy. :-)**

**.**

**Hugs, EyJ and JB**


	6. Hostage of Love - Face Off

**Disclaimer:** **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Rated: MA**

**Chapter warning: Contains violence**

**Chapter**** beta JUL5857. **

**Hostage of Love**

Somewhere over the rainbow blue birds fly

_And the dream that you dare to— why, oh, why can't I?_

_Israel Kamakawiwo Ole, Somewhere Over The Rainbow _

_**Chapter 5**_

_**~~ Face-off ~~**_

Jacob came home in the early morning hours. His father was already waiting for him. Jacob helped him with the shower and get dressed, but he didn't talk to him like he normally did. He just couldn't talk and pretend everything was okay when it wasn't.

Billy gazed at him observantly and grabbed him by his wrist. "What have you done?" he asked, staring at Jacob's demolished hand.

Jacob remained silent. He had nothing to say. What was there to say anyway? Father, I have failed? He let Billy remove several wooden splinters out of his hand and put tape on a deep gash that hadn't healed yet. It hurt, but his heart hurt more.

"You have tried," Billy said softly, soothing, but to Jacob it was a reproach.

He turned around and went into his room. The door clicked shut.

Jacob was crouched in a corner of his room, allowing the pain to flow freely once again. He couldn't stop thinking of why Bella had looked for him. What did she want, and why the FUCK didn't he stop her from running away from him? Her pleading eyes haunted him ever since. Silently, he let the tears fall down his face. He had never felt this much pain, nor had he ever felt this level of desperation. He did not want to do anything other than sit here and think about everything over and over again.

Bella's wedding rolled like a movie in infinite loop through his brain. He relived their conversation, remembering his sheer disbelieve about her comments of wanting a real wedding night.

_Damn you, Bella! Damn, the day I fell in love with you. Damn all those leeches back to hell._ Why was he not enough! He would have happily laid down his life for her. Why couldn't she see that and accept it? He could have made her happy. He was certain of it. His tears streamed like rivers down his face. _How could she believe this leech? How could she not see what he really was?Why was she so blind?_

_And now, she will die. Die and be cold and hard like them,_ he thought. This was what she wanted—giving her life to become one of them. He felt so powerless and hurt in the knowledge that he meant nothing to her, that he wasn't enough. But... _I. Do. Not. . . !_

Jacob wondered if he had left marks on her delicate arms. He was damn sure that he had. After all, he had grabbed onto them rather hard when he shook her, trying to put some sense into her stubborn brain. For the tiniest moment, he speculated if Cullen would give her a hard time because of those marks.

If Bella were his, Jacob knew he would have the other guy's ass for hurting his wife, but what if Cullen put the blame on Bella? Would she have to suffer his wrath? Jacob's face contorted with rage and he felt his body start shaking. The thought that the leech might blame her was so unbearable that he had to let it go. She was out of his reach by now anyway. Gone, and there was no way that he could come to her help, even if he actually wanted to help her. Not that he wanted to, but still…

His thoughts wandered back to when their eyes locked that very moment when Sam and Seth started to drag him away from her. Her eyes bore straight into his soul. He saw something that showed what he had been waiting to see since forever, but she had never let him see that before. He saw it clearly that look and he saw love for him, real love but also hopelessness, desperation and maybe… longing?

Sitting in his tiny room with the curtains closed he tried to understand. If he had seen her love for him, had she finally realized how much she actually was in love with him, that her love for that stinky leech wasn't that irrevocable as she always had thought? Could this have been the reason why she ran after him? And, if it had been that reason, than he understood why she ran away when she caught Leah and him getting it on in the woods.

"Fuck!" he growled under his breath, acutely aware that he had missed his very last opportunity to get a hold of her, to maybe change her mind, or at least to talk to her for a very last time. His shaking got stronger, but he forced himself to keep still. He didn't want to phase. Phasing in his state of mind made him vulnerable and would expose his feelings to his pack brothers, which was something he wanted to avoid as long as possible.

But the urge to phase was strong as his emotions were so overwhelming and Jacob pressed his back into the wall, trying to create some kind of support. Yet again, he lifted the hand holding his cell phone to his ear and for the umpteenth time, he automatically pressed the redial key just to hear Bella's voice again. Everything would be better when he would hear her voice, but when he finally heard it and hope flared up in him, it was only her voicemail. Again. "Hello, this is Bella. Leave a message." Giving in to the fury he was feeling, he roared out, throwing his cell straight across his room. It hit the wall and shattered to thousand pieces.

A loud bang on his door ripped him out of his self-loathing. "Jacob!" he heard Billy call out sterner than he did before. "Sam is on the phone for you. You better get out of here right now! "His father's unusual harsh tone made him feel nervous for some reason and he got up, ever so slowly.

Jacob dragged himself into the bathroom to take a quick look at his tired face in the mirror. His eyes were red and swollen; he felt that his spirit and his will to go on was almost completely drained out of him. He had to figure something out and figure it out fast. He couldn't go on like this. He wouldn't degenerate into a Bella-like zombie status. He loathed being weak and if he gave in to the pain and despair then he was weak.

Jacob opened the faucet and turned the water cold. Then he washed his face, but the red splotches on his face remained. He shrugged and feeling demotivated, shuffled himself into the kitchen, avoiding his father's disapproving look when he ripped the phone out of his hand.

"What the fuck do you want, Sam?" Jacob aggressively barked into the phone. Sam better have a good reason to call him, because today he wasn't scheduled for patrolling and just for one day, Jacob wanted to be completely free of pack business. He wanted to just forget about the pack and his inner wolf for once.

He heard Sam's fast erratic breathing first, then his strained response, "I just got done talking to Leah. I believe you've got some explaining to do. I'm going to be at your house in five minutes. You better be ready for me, Black!" The phone fell silent and forcefully, Jacob put down the phone with a curse. _Fuck you, Sam!_

"What have you done?" his father asked again with worry in his voice and stared at him long and hard, but Jacob refused to answer, so Billy rolled himself out of the kitchen and into the living room. He turned the TV on and the volume up like he never had done before. Billy looked really worried, but Jacob was in no way ready for a talk with his father. He felt a little pang in his chest and he knew he would have to talk to Billy real soon.

Jacob took some deep breaths that should calm him down, but it was to no avail. He felt threatened by Sam and his wolf didn't like that at all. It was clear to Jacob that Sam had a problem with what he must have heard from Leah or seen in her memories – that they had fucked each other's brains out. With this realization he became aware that he now saw her completely different. Even though they weren't in love with each other, what they had shared was very special to him and he wouldn't allow Sam to talk it down.

Leah wasn't Sam's business anymore. He shouldn't care anymore as HE was the one leaving Leah, hurting her down to the core. It pissed Jacob off that Sam now – when she was finally trying to move on - was interfering. Sam had his imprint and no matter for how long he had been together with Leah before the imprint Leah wasn't tied to him anymore other than through the pack. Sam had no fucking right to meddle with Leah's decisions. Not as her Alpha and even less as her ex. It was her decision if she wanted to fuck him, Jacob, or the entire male population of the state of Washington for that matter.

Unexpectedly, Jacob felt sort of protective over Leah. Thinking about her being with Sam or some other male enraged his unsettled mind even more and his skin crawled. He growled and the vibrations in his body increased; his wolf was close, too close, to the surface. _God Dammit! Not in the house. Dad. Too close._

Blazing hot, white fury welled up in him, forcing him to leave before he lost it with his father in close proximity. So he went, yelling over his shoulder, "I'm out!" before slamming the door shut. The old walls rattled dangerously.

As soon as he left the steps of his house, he heard his Alpha in the woods, even smelled his fury, and he phased on the spot, not caring if someone might see him.

They were the only ones in wolf form right now. It was only Sam in his head when he bolted into the forest. To tick him off, Jacob thought of last night purposefully and pictured Leah on top of him as she arched her back while riding him passionately.

Sam roared out and through their linked minds, Jacob saw him leap forward and quickly speed up. His huge paws dug into the ground, sending leafs and earth flying everywhere, while he was forced to look at the younger wolfs graphic memories.

Jacob grinned menacingly. Was he being an ass for shoving the pictures into Sam's face? Damn right, he was. Knowing that making Sam see what he couldn't have anymore, satisfied him in a cruel way. He remembered Leah's pleas for release and how she had begged for more, that he gave it to her harder and faster. It felt good to be on the receiving end of the stick for once in his life. Jacob didn't know that he had it in him to hurt Sam like this, like really deliberately. Jake was much too hurt himself to care at all. He was itching for a fight. Even better when he could fight it out with another wolf or – suddenly it was downright tempting – letting his rage out on Sam.

Sam was close. They would meet any second now. _"Okay, go ahead and have a piece of me,"_ Jake thought challenging. A huge, black shadow shot out of the thicket and before Jacob could turn around to meet him at a better angle, their massive bodies collided. It would be a fight both of them needed, had sought out and initiated. Both tempers were sky-rocketing and it was not only loud but painfully as well.

_"__You're so damned cocky, boy, "_Sam growled, and snapped his teeth. _"Barely three_ _years older than her baby brother. You should be grateful that she even let you."_ It was pure jealousy speaking out of Sam and they both knew it.

_"__She started it. She begged me to do her."_ Jacob gave him a smug grin, before pushing his muzzle hard into Sam's flank. _"Leah thinks I'm a good fuck. She wanted me. You listen? Me not you!"_ Again, he let his memories show. This time it was Leah on all fours before him and how she had tried to stay in control and he wouldn't let her.

Jacob's thoughts had always been vivid, but they had never focused on Leah before. Sam snarled, not liking to see his Leah like that, and crouched low, ready to take Jacob down.

Jacob couldn't explain why he felt so territorial over Leah, but when Sam thought about Leah as "his", he howled furiously._"She's not yours anymore."_ He jumped, trying to bury his teeth in Sam's shoulder, but was shaken off quickly. He fell back on his feet and moved in a slow circle around Sam with his teeth bared and the fur in his neck bristled. _"You gave her up, Sam. You tossed her aside for your imprint! She doesn't belong to you!"_

Sam watched his every move, trying to calculate Jacob's intentions. He was furious, affected by Jake's rage and the memories the younger wolf deliberately made him see. As much as he tried to keep a cool head, tried to not let this fight go too far it was useless. Although being the most level-headed wolf of this pack, even Sam could only take so much, and he had reached his limit.

Sam growled warningly, but Jacob wouldn't stop thinking about Leah in several states of arousal and sexual bliss. Sam aimed to launch himself at Jacob at the next possible chance, but he had to be careful. It was very dangerous to underestimate Jacob. The younger wolf came close his strength and size. He was the only one in the pack who had the potential to overpower him. After all, Jacob was the true Alpha, even when he hadn't accepted this position yet. If Sam wanted to defeat him, it was only through acting clever and maybe even deviously. That's why he thought snidely, _"She's always had a big heart, Jake. You've been wailing like a baby over your leech lover. Leah was only being nice, you know?"_

_"__And I took what she offered,"_ Jacob answered, but Sam really shouldn't have mentioned Bella. It made Jacob even angrier as he already was. He felt heat building up in the bottom of his stomach. It was rising and rising, and he then felt as if his body was growing. There was this tiny voice in his brain telling him over and over again that he was the true Alpha. _Alpha! Alpha! Alpha!_it chanted. At first he shook it off. This couldn't be. Hell, he didn't want to deal with this shit right now, but the heat in his stomach had reached his chest, and Jacob wanted to roar out his fury.

He felt like his head was going to explode. Suddenly, everything became so clear to him. Sam was scared. Sam knew the truth. He was fully aware of what he had done to Leah, when he had left her for Emily.

Jacob growled. _He knows I am the true Alpha,_ he thought. _It's in my blood._ He never felt bigger or stronger than in this very moment. He looked straight into Sam's eyes, seeing his fear, but Sam didn't give in.

Sam tilted his head and snarled. _"You only wanted Leah, because Bella wouldn't give you any. She prefers to fuck the leech."_Sam showed him a memory of Edward's smug face.

With that Jacob lost it. He felt this incredible strength come over him, this incredible power. It almost brought him down to his knees… almost. Within a split second, he jumped at Sam, ripping into him with a fervor he didn't know he had.

Sam howled as Jacob bit him in his leg and didn't let go.

"_Damn fucker, what the hell do you want from me," J_ake thought with ever rising hatred. _I could just kill him now._

_"__You touched Lee Lee, and nobody is touching her."_ Sam spat.

Jacob jumped on top of Sam, pinning him down to the ground with his huge body and sank his teeth into his shoulder. The pain took Sam's breath away. He couldn't believe what was happening, couldn't believe that Jacob was actually strong enough to keep him down. He grunted in pain while trying to fight the younger wolf off.

_"__What are you talking about? She's free to fuck whomever she wants to fuck, and she wanted to fuck me! And guess what, I enjoyed her. Leah knows how to please a man!"_ Jacob responded. He took a deep breath, growling warningly and never letting his eyes or paws off Sam. He knew he needed to stop, but it was hard to ignore the call of the Alpha in him. It wanted him to fight it out, wanted him to claim the Alpha position.

He took a deep deliberate breath, and another one, and one more to calm himself down. Slowly, he got off Sam, watching the other try to get up. But then… Sam just stopped struggling and stayed on the ground, hiding his snout under his paws. _What? What was he doing?_

Jacob lost all interest to rip into Sam again, although his wolf urged him to prove that he was the stronger one, urged him to challenge Sam. He fought it down… for now.

Jacob looked at him and thought _"What is wrong with you Sam? You have no rights to her, you don't deserve her and you know it. You broke Leah."_ Jacob growled. He was trying to push the 'Alpha' need aside; he did not want to deal with this right now. He needed time to think, he needed time to grieve for what he had lost, and he just wanted to be left alone for once in his life. Jacob also knew he wasn't ready to take on the responsibility. He had to clear a lot of things in his life first before he would be able to lead a pack.

That's when he noticed that Sam thought of happy times with Leah, times when he wasn't imprinted on Emily yet. He thought it wasn't fair that a stable and strong relationship had been ripped apart. Maybe the wolf Gods had got something wrong? Wasn't he meant to imprint on Leah instead of Emily?

Jacob phased human. He felt pity for Sam, and one thing he was fucking sure of: he hated imprinting. He hoped he never had to deal with that. He didn't want to be in Sam's head any longer or listening to his self-pitying. Jacob didn't think he owed him any explanations at all, but he started talking nevertheless. "Sam, I lost her," he said hoarsely and sat down on a tree stump. "Bella is gone for good. I need time, and I don't even know how to deal with this yet, if I ever can. I'm not sure how to go on."

Sam huffed and phased back as well. He looked at Jacob with what seemed some kind of compassion. Or was it pity?

Jacob couldn't tell, nor did he care. He didn't think Sam even knew how to be really compassionate. He always wore that straight face, that mask. _Did Sam understand what I was talking about?_ Jacob wondered. "I just lost it. Leah saved my miserable life, Sam," he admitted. "Without Leah I maybe wouldn't have survived this evening. What can I tell you? Leah understands the kind of pain I am going through all too well."

Sam flinched, but remained silent. He limped past Jacob and took a seat opposite him.

"Damn you, Sam! She is still suffering; she is still in so much pain. You did that!" Jacob started trembling and the anger returned. He was surprised with himself. When did he develop feelings for Leah? Did he? "I will do what I can to make her forget you, and you will not be in the way of that. Do you understand?" he spat at Sam.

Sam just looked very old all of a sudden. More so, he looked defeated and very tired. "Jake, I only have to say one thing to you: Don't hurt her! Don't use her! If you do, I will kill you!" With that Sam got up and walked slowly, with his head hanging low, out of the forest. Both knew very well this would never be possible. Sam knew his time as Alpha was borrowed. More so, he knew Jacob already was the Alpha, his Alpha, whether Jacob admitted that to himself yet or not.

Jacob stayed in the forest for a long time, pondering over all the things that had happened today. He walked home when the night fell. Again, he absolved his home duties in silence. Billy kept looking at him with a worried expression, but thankfully he would not say anything.

After another night of getting no sleep, Jacob came to a decision. It's time to make a change in his life. He grabbed the phone and dialed Leah's number...

_Two years pass…_

The first time when Jacob heard that Bella wouldn't be coming home it was Christmas time. He barely reacted when Charlie told Billy. Jacob didn't feel a thing but a strange numbness around his heart. He had known all along this call would be coming eventually, but he was sort of relieved when Charlie said how good it was to hear his daughter's voice again. Charlie was sad when he told Billy he would wish Bella called him more often and how much he missed her.

Jacob hated what Bella did to her father. He had to take off into the forest after overhearing his father's conversation with Charlie. He couldn't deal with Charlie's pain. He burst into his furry self before even hitting the tree line.

So she had made it through the transformation without getting killed. She was living, but not alive anymore… Bella was a vampire now. His enemy. The thing he was born to kill. Jacob couldn't wrap his head around it.

Spring break came. Then came the summer holidays and another Christmas time. She still wasn't coming home. Jacob knew why. As a newborn she better stay away from humans. When Charlie told him he would spent another holidays without his daughter, Jacob could take it with a shrug and walk out on Charlie straight-faced. Again, he ran until he couldn't feel his paws anymore.

It was February again when Charlie called and told Billy that Bella had moved to Jacksonville. Jacob stood in the kitchen, not wanting to overhear the conversation, but Charlie actually screamed out the news. It wasn't to overhear. "I can't believe it, Billy! Bella broke up with him. She's divorced. For over a year already!"

Jacob dropped what he had been holding and stormed out of the house, leaving a stunned Billy behind. Bella was divorced. She had moved to Jacksonville.

_Divorced. Jacksonville. Sun. Jacksonville. Sun. Lot of sun. No vampire moves where there is sun. She didn't tell me. She didn't tell me. Why didn't she tell me?_

He didn't remember neither where he went nor what he did. He only remembered the overwhelming rage inside of him.

When he came down from his distractive tantrum, he was naked and looked at his mashed-up garage. A disaster zone.

Leah was with him. She had her arms wrapped around him, holding him. Forcing him to stop razing his garage to the ground.

He had her on the hood of his rabbit in no time, pushing her shorts down and her shirt up. "Can I, Leah? Please, let me…" he sobbed, and when she nodded in agreement, he pushed into her forcefully, bracing his hands on either side of her head…

She didn't complain nor did she try to stop him, but when it was over, she laid her hand on his cheek, whispering, "I really wish you'd stop obsessing over her."

"Leah, just leave it alone already!" With that Jacob turned around and left, leaving her standing in the mess he had made out of his garage. They didn't talk for weeks.

Jacob thought about getting Bella's phone number. He was sure her dad wouldn't hesitate handing it over to him. But then he thought how ridiculous it was for even thinking about making contact with her. Why should he contact her at first when she hadn't even bothered to tell him she got divorced? Wasn't he good enough to know?

Jacob thought about confronting her. What if he just ran down to Jacksonville? It wouldn't take him too long if he travelled in his wolf form… How would it feel to tell her how much she had hurt him, how much he was still hurting?

One day, Charlie gave him her number. He just placed a piece of paper with her name and the number scribbled on it in his hand. "Just call her. I think she misses you…" he had said. Jacob just looked at him and walked away, feeling confused as to what he should do.

Jacob hid the note in his sock drawer.

Once in a while he thought about giving _her_ a call. Maybe they could talk things out? But then, something happened that would change his life forever.

A/N: Thanks guys for reading, what do you think?


	7. Hostage of Love - Moving On

**Disclaimer:** **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Rated: MA**

**Chapter Beta: JUL5857**

_**Hostage of Love**_

_**Chapter 6**_

_**Moving on**_

_The Gray Wolf has always played a major character in fairy tales and mythology throughout the ages and all over the world and he has been perceived in many different lights from "Big, Bad Wolf" to spiritual being._

Although Bella knew the text by heart, she read the inscription of the information board out loud to herself. She always did. It wasn't like someone was watching her anyway. For a long time, she hadn't felt safe or unobserved. The first weeks after Rosalie had picked her up in Rio had been really bad. She'd suffered from panic attacks, couldn't stand being in closed rooms, couldn't endure people getting into her personal space much.

Rosalie had saved her life; and although life was extremely difficult dealing with, she was breathing and she had stayed human. For the longest time Bella hated herself, hated what she had put everybody she cared about through. Why had she not been able to see everything for what it was? Why didn't she listen to her best friend, her dad and her conscience? Well, it really was a little too late now. Bella had to look forward and heal herself completely before she could even think about facing the people she was aching to see and touch.

Jacob... she thought with a sudden sting to her heart. She wondered once again what he was doing. Did he love someone else by now? Had he finally forgotten about her? God, she hoped that Jacob would be able to forgive her one day...

Her freezing hands clenched around a cup of steaming coffee. Dressed in her thickest jacket, boots, hat, scarf and fat gloves, Bella sat on a secluded bench at the Anchorage Zoo and watched the wolves. It was her favorite spare time activity since she had left Forks. It gave her peace and soothed the homesickness she was feeling day in and day out.

Today was a cold day, very cold. Her breath puffed out in small, white clouds. Her nose was red and pricked from the cold, but she didn't mind as long as she could watch this pack of wolves.

_"Gray wolves are ancestors of domestic dogs and despite the name they actually range in color from brownish-gray, to all black, to all white. Being_ _the largest of all canines, they are social animals that live and hunt in packs of 2-12,"_ the sign said, but she knew that this pack had never seen the wild. Most of them were raised in captivity but she felt fortunate to be able to observe them never the less. Even though, those wolves were considered relatively tame, Bella rather thought of them as unpredictable and dangerous. It was her way to show her respect to this species. Wolves were special to her. Always had been, even before she had learned that Jake could turn into a huge russet wolf…

Bella shoved the memories aside quickly. She came here to watch this pack of wolves. She didn't come to cry over what she had left behind and lost. She was determined to learn how to deal with herself. If she had learned one thing from everything that had happened to her, it was that you were responsible for your actions. There was nobody to blame but you when you messed up. She wanted and needed to grow up to an independent woman, a woman who had her own mind and made decisions for herself. She owed that much to herself.

_The typical wolf pack is composed of an Alpha male and his female, they are considered pack leaders, their pups, and several subordinate or juvenile wolves. Wolves are generally monogamous and mated pairs usually remain together for life if one of the wolves does not die._

The Alpha wolf lay on the ground, patiently letting three little cubs crawl over his large frame. His name was Chit. Bella learned that from the sign that informed the Zoo's visitors. When the cubs' play became too rough, the wolf nudged them apart or shook them off his body. The cubs didn't mind, they just continued rough housing and rolling around with no care in the world at all.

Bella smiled, once again remembering Jake and his friends and how they had used to romp around. Quickly, she banished this thought from her mind, again. It was never good letting memories come to the surface. It would make her cry for days and days… every time. It was just so hard to let go, so hard to forget about what she had done to... _him._

She knew that she was being ridiculous and that she should just go home - back to Forks, that is - but she simply couldn't. She was too afraid of what would be awaiting her when she returned. No doubt, Charlie would be more than happy if she came to pay him a visit, but she was absolutely embarrassed about her failed marriage, about marrying Edward at all. She should have listened to her parents when they had warned her.

_She had bolted from the island with nothing but the clothes she wore and some cash the housekeepers had given her. Calling her father or the pack hadn't been an option. Neither of them would've been able to be there as quick as she needed them to be with her. Out of instinct, she called Rosalie. Although she almost died of mortification, she begged Rosalie to help her, and Rosalie promised she'd come. In the meantime, Bella needed to go and try to hide from Edward by using a fake name at least, not that that would make a real difference, but she had to try. _

_Bella went one step farther and even cut her hair down to chin length so that he wouldn't be able to find her through people's memories of her. Bella was so relieved when Rosalie and Emmett showed up before Edward did. Rosalie made no secret out of her animosity and her dislike of the choices she had made, by marrying Edward and by her desire to become like them. However, Bella had a feeling that Rosalie would help her regardless, if for nothing else than to prevent her to be turned. Rosalie insisted that she tell her everything of what went down between Edward and herself . Rosalie looked at her first with disbelief and then with utter surprise and shock. "I think our brother went crazy," Bella heard Rosalie tell Emmett with a thoughtful expression on her face._

_"I still don't like you and how you mess up everything," Rosalie sneered, turning back to face her. "But no man should treat a woman like that. You're doing right in leaving him." She was furious and more than willing to protect Bella from her brother now. "If he ever puts his hands on you again…" she spat disgusted, her golden eyes blazing with fury. "I'll rip them off and feed them to the dogs." Bella knew that what Edward had done to her made Rosalie think of her past life. She was sorry for that, but she just knew that Rosalie would understand. She was ferociously against any male dominance against woman and would never tolerate it, especially not from a member of her own family. Rosalie sat down and said, "Look..."_

_The next day, Edward was standing in front of the hotel Bella was hiding out. He had found her although she'd tried so hard to be invisible. She was shocked how easily he'd tracked her down. Once more, it made her aware how inferior she was to him. He only had to follow her scent that she couldn't mask and_ bang! _there he was._

_Despite her fear of him, Bella demanded that they had a talk. For once, she wouldn't just run away and hope everything would get better soon and work out on its own. They met the same evening, in a coffeehouse, and with Rosalie and Emmett in tow. She couldn't be alone with him anymore. Who knows what he'd do this time?_

_At first, Edward seemed to be devastated by her leaving him, but she wasn't fooled by his "godlike" appearance anymore. He pleaded that she might over think her decision and come back to him. He'd never do anything ever again to make her feel frightened, but there was a glint in his eyes that made her doubt he spoke the truth._

_Rosalie kept staring at him with disgust. Bella was aware that Edward was reading Rosalie's thoughts. He would know that his sister wouldn't back down and assist her with whatever she needed. Bella then realized that Edward didn't care for his sister's 'thoughts' about him at all. She jumped and almost screamed, terrified when, in reaction to one of Rosalie's thoughts, a hiss escaped him._

_In response, Emmett immediately stood in a protective stance in front of Rosalie and warned, "Watch out, bro!"_

_Edward eyed him arrogantly, but changed his tune right away, turning towards Bella. "I'm sorry, love," he said smoothly. "That was uncalled for."_

_Bella thought her heart was about to jump out of her chest and sweat broke out all over her body. She tried to control her terror. She didn't want Edward to know the negative effect he had on her. Bella was afraid that it would give him even more power over her, and that terrified her even more. In a clipped voice, she then explained to him how she felt betrayed by his actions, but Edward refused to understand. He argued that he had only done it with best intentions and that he'd never do her any harm. He'd only wanted her to realize how much she loved and needed him. Edward apologized, again._

_Did he really mean it? Was he really sorry?_ _  
_  
_He leaned over the table to take Bella's hand between his hands. She shrank back from him in fear; she didn't trust him anymore. _

_Rosalie snorted at that point and Emmett actually snarled at Edward. "Are you really that dense, Edward?" he asked and put his arm around Bella in a protective manner. "She's afraid of you. Can't you smell how scared she is right now? It's over. Let it go already. We all warned you from the beginning not to get involved with a human." Turning towards her, Emmett smiled and said, "Sorry, Bella."_

_Bella nodded, but she felt suffocated by Emmett's arm. She shook him off and sat up straight in her seat. "Edward, I'll file for divorce. After everything that happened I can't be married to you." She looked Edward in the eyes as confidently as she could manage. Inside, she was trembling with nerves._

_Rosalie leaned back in her seat, crossed her arms and grinned smugly. She blinked at Bella, encouraging her to go on._

_Bella inhaled deeply, mustering up more courage. "This marriage was a huge mistake. I didn't know what I was thinking back then... I want you to stay away from me. Don't come near me ever again. Don't interfere with my life ever again. We're done. Goodbye, Edward." She then turned around and left with Rosalie close on her heels._

_On the way to the hotel, Emmett had left to go for a hunt, Rosalie asked, "You didn't consummate the marriage, did you?"_

_Bella stopped dead in her tracks and blushed crimson. "No." She shook her head._

_"It's a pity you can't go for an annulment these days. My brother will never sign the divorce papers." Rosalie ran a hand through her hair. "Annulment," she repeated, emphasizing the word with great relish. "Now that would've really upset Edward." She laughed out once, while Bella trudged after her, feeling completely mortified..._

Bella inhaled sharply, willing these memories to go away, once again. She didn't want to think about Edward. At least, she wasn't scared stiff of him anymore, although the images of her 'honeymoon' weren't exactly pleasant either. As long as Edward stayed away from her - and she hadn't seen him in a while now - she could handle those thoughts quite well.

She concentrated on the animals before her, unwilling to let her free afternoon go to waste. It was fun to watch the wolves. It brought her mind to an ease. It soothed her in a way she never fully understood. Seeing those wolves made her feel at home, even when she was far, far away from what she considered home a year ago.

The mother wolf came and sat down next to the Alpha. _Luna, Alpha female, Timber wolf, 3 years old, first litter,_ read the sign that stood before the compound. The cubs now frolicked around her mother, catching each other's tails and pushing each other hard. Luna nudged the Alpha's neck, sliding her muzzle through his thick fur. She then started to chew on her mate's ear. The Alpha grinned wolfishly, and Bella snickered. She could swear that, sometimes, those wolves could look human in a way.

An hour later she got up, stretching her numb body. It was time to return to her tiny flat and to get ready for work. She had to hurry or she would be late again. It would be the third time this month and she didn't know how much longer Mr. Daniel would turn a blind eye on that. Bella gathered her blanket and the thermos and walked to her car, careful not to slip on the snowy ground.

She worked as a Hotel housekeeper, although the Cullens (mostly Alice) didn't approve of her choice of job, saying she could find something better. But truth to be told, Bella simply wanted to be independent as soon as possible and being able to live on her own. Only Rosalie seemed to understand when Bella took the first job that was offered to her.

Bella no longer wanted to accept and depend on any money from the Cullens. How else would she truly become independent and she really wanted to stand on her own. Alice kept trying for several weeks, sending her money and gifts, which Bella had returned every time. Alice finally accepted her decision and Bella was glad about it. She might have a real chance at independence now. She was trying to give it her all, she swore to herself.

_When Bella had first seen Alice again, she had been really mad with her and they had their first real fight. Bella was upset and felt betrayed by Alice, too. Alice must have had a vision of Edward lashing out on Bella and then leaving her alone on Isle Esme - why didn't she react?_

_"But I wanted you to become my sister," Alice argued, almost wailed, looking guilt-stricken. "And I saw you were asking him to change you when he was back. I'm so sorry. Can you forgive me?"_

_The extent of Alice' selfishness horrified Bella. She wondered if you lost part of your conscience when you became a vampire or if it was just Alice and her bad past. Had the years in the mental institution when she was still human scarred her for life? How could Alice not react or ask for help once she had the vision of Bella changing her mind?_

_In the end, Bella had forgiven Alice. It just wasn't in her nature to bear grudges, but she didn't allow Alice to decide for her anymore and she demanded that Alice would tell her immediately about any visions that concerned Bella's future._

Bella had decided to stay in Alaska and study there like it was planned. The tuition was already paid for two semesters when she came here. She might as well use it now, it would be a shame to let it go to waste (Esme couldn't agree more). One of the reasons was that Bella couldn't bear it yet to tell her parents yet about her divorce and that she needed to stay in Alaska for a while. That just gave her the perfect alibi until she would work up the courage to spill the beans. Carlisle kept saying that her parents would understand and nobody would be mad or disappointed with her, but Bella was too ashamed to believe him.

Last Christmas, she had lied to her father and told him that she and Edward would be visiting his family in Brazil. Truth was, Edward spent his time in Denali like he did almost the entire time, and Bella was alone in her tiny flat, crying her eyes out, yearning for her parents.

The holiday season was making everything so much worse; the pain and ache she felt in her heart was almost unbearable. She ached more than ever to be near Jake, to see his smile and to feel his warmth. She also wished she could cook Charlie a real nice Holiday meal. One day, she knew she would do this again, she thought sorrowfully.

This year, she had waited on purpose for the last minute to cancel her visit, and today, she was going to call her father and tell him that she couldn't come home for Christmas this year, either. Not something she was really looking forward doing again.

When she was home in her tiny flat, she called sat on her bed to call her father.

"Charlie Swan."

Bella's heart warmed up hearing his voice. "Hi, Dad. It's Bella," she said, feigning a bad cough. "I'm sorry, but I can't come home tomorrow."

"Oh, no, Bella," he answered and she heard his disappointment clearly. "What is it this time?"

After all the excuses she had conjured up over the last several months, the new lie dropped from her lips rather easily. "I have the flu. I need to stay in bed. Carlisle's order."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Bells. I don't know what's keeping you up there all the time that you never come to visit. I barely know how you look like anymore."

"I know, dad. I'm really sorry. I'm really trying to slip in a weekend, but you know how it is… How is everyone?" Bella asked and faked another cough. She wanted to know about Jacob, but she was too scared about what Charlie might tell her if she asked him directly.

"Everyone's quite fine, Bella," her dad answered. "Sue is still here…"

"Oh," Bella breathed surprised. "Sue Clearwater?"

"Uhm, Bells, look… Sue Clearwater and I… We've been seeing each other for a while. I thought you would want to know, alright?" Charlie seemed clearly uncomfortable telling her. "I wanted to tell you when you were here… but, well, you're not coming. So…"

"What? You mean… you and Sue are like together?" she mumbled dumbfounded. "Wow. Congrats. I'm happy for you, Dad."

"Thanks, Bells. Oh, and… Jacob was here picking Leah up," her father said casually, and she felt a lump swell in her throat instantly. "He asked about you."

"Oh, really?" Her heart started to race excitedly, but also a pang of jealousy ran through her. He came to pick up Leah… "What is Leah doing at our house?"

"She dropped Sue…"

Bella wanted to slap herself. It wasn't her business anymore…

"You still aren't on speaking terms with Jake?" Charlie asked.

"No," Bella whispered, coughing again, but this time she coughed away a real sob. God, she missed Jake so much… "How is he, Dad?"

"He's going to graduate in the summer, and he works really hard. He's got a job at Fork's Car Shop."

_Jacob and Leah..._

Charlie was suddenly quiet for a while and Bella didn't know what to say, either, as she dwelled on thoughts about her time with Jacob.

"Bells, will you come home at all? I haven't seen you in over a year. I really do miss you, kiddo," Charlie asked.

She almost broke and told him everything, but then she held back. She was too ashamed to tell him that her marriage had failed. "I'll be home soon, Dad," she promised. "Real soon!"

After exchanging a couple more words for a while, they ended the call and Bella threw her phone onto her bed. She felt so bad for all the lies she was telling her parents and friends. That wasn't her. She really should gather her wits and just tell her mom, her dad… Jacob.

Jacob.

Bella realized it was time to come clean, at least with Jake for now. She wanted him to know first. She quickly glanced at the clock. She had another hour before she had to start working. This would give her enough time to compose a letter to Jake. After all those sleepless nights and the discussions she had with him in her thoughts, the words came really easy and really fast.

_Dear Jake._

_You haven't heard from me in a while and you must be thinking that I'm changed by now. I'm sorry for everything. I regret so much... mostly I regret being so stubborn and marrying Edward at all._

_I have been struggling with myself for so long now, but I believe you deserve to know. And I wanted to let you know first, before I'm going to tell my parents. You were right all along. Edward and I aren't meant for each other. You'll be happy to hear that I filed for divorce and I have been on my own for a long time now. I could never come up with the courage of telling you before. I don't even know if you still care to know but it is important for me to let you know._

_Unfortunately, Edward hasn't signed the paper yet, which is really annoying, but not the end of the world. The divorce will be absolute as soon as two years are over from when I filed the divorce._

_I'm still alive, Jake. I changed my mind about becoming a vampire. It's not what I want anymore, and I am ashamed of myself of what I put everyone through. It's a long story that I'm going to tell you one day – if you still want to know, if you still want to see me._

_I'm at college now, studying to become a physiotherapist. I really love it and although it's quite tough at some times, I can help people and that is what I want. I'm going to move to Florida though, live with my mom again. I will transfer there and continue my education. If everything turns out like I planned I can get my degree in about two more years._

_I hear you're with Leah now. I'm very happy for you, Jake. I always wanted you to be happy._

_If you can forgive me for everything I did to you, call me…_

_Bella._

Bella closed up the letter quickly without reading it over. She put the letter in an envelope, put a stamp on it and scribbled Jake's address on it. Then she quickly dressed for work, took the letter and ran to her car, arriving at the hotel just in time. After work, she quickly threw the letter into the mailbox and drove home, totally exhausted from the long day.

What she did not know was that the letter never reached Jake. In fact, it simply got lost somewhere along the way. If she only knew!

Bella spent the Christmas Eve alone. She didn't want to play happy family with the Cullens. It was always the same sterile atmosphere; it made her miss her mom and dad so much it hurt. It wasn't fun to have a fancy Christmas dinner when you had to eat it all alone while six people were watching you. It also was awkward to receive presents from them, while you were divorcing their son and brother. Her visits became less and less anyway, and that was how she preferred it. She needed to completely cut her ties with the Cullens even though she felt Carlisle and Esme really cared about her and wanted to keep her in their 'lives'. Alice had accepted that Bella needed to have her own life, away from their world. Bella had a much better chance at a real life without them.

She was watching TV and munching on a microwave dinner when the doorbell rang. Bella got up and peered through the fish eye. The figure standing out there was familiar, but nobody that she actually needed to see. She opened the door the slightest crack and asked, "Edward, what do you want?"

"Merry Christmas to you, too, Bella. Nice to see you. Can I come in?" He leaned against the door frame with his legs crossed.

"Why would I let you come in?" Bella cringed at the thought and rolled her eyes. _The nerve!_ Her phone began to vibrate and jingle, but Bella ignored it. What did Edward want?

He smiled at her, mockingly, and said, raising his voice a little, "If you prefer your neighbors to hear what I have to say… you're welcome."

"Five minutes, Edward," she hissed and opened the door to let him in. He entered and strolled across her tiny hallway into the room where she was living and sleeping. She didn't want him here. A shudder ran down her spine and she backed against a wall instinctively.

"I won't need much time, Bella. …" he said and looked around, curious about how she lived. He made a face when he discovered Jacob's gift, her dream catcher, hanging from her bedpost. It was the only thing she had asked her father to send after her. His eyes fell on the framed pictures on her wall from the wolves from the zoo. He frowned and asked snidely, "Really, Bella? How old are you again?"

"A lot younger than you are, Edward," she replied, crossing her arms over her chest defensively. "What do you want? I told you to stay away from me."

He leaned forward and stated, "I think we should try again."

Bella gasped and shook her head. "No," she blurted out, suddenly feeling queasy. The feeling increased when he closed the distance between them with two quick strides. Her eyes anxiously flitted between him and the door, and she regretted instantly that she let him in. Her cell still jingled. Whoever was calling, it would have to wait.

"I think that you still love me, Bella." His eyes locked with hers, holding her in place. "You still want me, but you're too stubborn to admit it."

Bella inhaled deeply, clenching her hands tightly while trying to calm down her frantically beating heart. "I don't want you anymore," she choked out, unwittingly repeating what he had told her when he had left her.

He winced, visibly, but replied in a calm voice, "I don't believe you, love."

"Don't call me that." An emotional turmoil broke loose inside her. She still loved Edward, there was no denying that, but she didn't see him in the same overly perfect light anymore. She knew his flaws now and his manipulating ways. She couldn't-

She looked up to him. His golden eyes pulled her in... Suddenly it was hard to remember what they were talking about. Her phone started to vibrate again. Why did it keep ringing?

His voice interrupted her trail of thoughts. "You are my love. I love you, Bella. I can't lose you," he begged. His voice was so soft. Yes, she could believe him. He loved her.

Bella shook her head, trying to clear her foggy brain. "You've lost me already. You can't treat me like that and expect I forgive you," she said, tentatively first, but then her voice became stronger. "You hurt me purposely. You locked me in and left me to fend on my own. You knew what it would do to me and you still left me alone. I was scared because of you."

"I had plenty of time thinking about everything, about my feelings and why I kept letting you and your family control my life. I will no longer have it, Edward. You need to let me go and leave me be, living my human life. I want to stay human and grow old. I want to have children one day-" She held her breath as this sudden thought deeply took a hold of her.

His hand came up to rest upon her cheek. Bella shuddered from the cold. Angrily, she pushed his hand away and stepped aside, wanting to get out of his proximity. "I can't be with you anymore, Edward."

In one quick motion, he grabbed her by her hip with the other hand, effectively stopping her from moving. "You know how it is, Bella. The first fight between husband and wife... and then nobody wants to give in..." he murmured, letting his breath fan over her face, hoping that it still would affect her. After all, she only was human and he was a vampire... "And you run away, wanting to divorce me... See, I don't want to be awkward, love. I'm giving you another chance. You don't even need to apologize... You only need to come back to me."

_Yes._ Everything would be okay when she returned to him. Edward would take care of her, make sure that nothing bad ever happened to h- "Stop that," she whispered, realizing that he was luring her in. "What happened, Edward? Why are you doing this?"

He smiled and cocked an eyebrow, while leaning closer.

"Oh," she breathed, realizing that he'd done it right from the start. He was a predator by nature; she was prey... Her legs were wobbly, her head felt so light, everything was fuzzy.

Enough!

No More!

"Stop it," she said hoarsely as if awakening from a long sleep.

Jacob's face appeared before her inner eyes and it was as if she could draw strength from him. She spoke stronger and more forcefully, "Get. Away. From. Me."

Edward grimaced, frustration evident on his face, and stepped back abruptly. "How come you never even told anyone?" he asked angrily. "No one knows that you ran away from me. Not even your parents. How am I supposed to believe that you really want to have a divorce? I would have thought you would've at least told Charlie by now. And your mom, Bella? How do I suppose to take you seriously?" He came close to her face yet again, his lips almost brushing over her skin.

Anger flared up in Bella. She couldn't believe how disrespectful he was about her. Determined to put a stop to this once and for all she yelled, "Get out of my face!" and pushed him backwards with all her strength.

He didn't budge; he only smirked at her.

With that Bella lost it. She pulled her right arm back and punched him in the face. Punching him was like hitting a thick wall of solid ice. A sharp pain shot up her arm, but damn if she would show it. "I'm so done with you!" she cried out. "And just so you know, Edward, I told Jake. I told him everything." Bella cradled her arm, which quickly became numb and started to swell up. "You better leave now or I'll call Rose."

"Very well, Bella," Edward snarled. "I can't wait for you to crawl back to me once the Volturi show up."

That was low. She glowered at him. "I can take care of myself. I don't need and want you anymore; I only hope that I have to never see you again."

"We'll see," he said, and before she could blink an eye, he was gone.

"Only in your dreams," Bella hissed, suddenly feeling totally overwhelmed by what just had taken place. On unsteady legs, she ran to the front door and yelled, "I fucking hate you, Edward Cullen!" She didn't care if Edward was still here to hear or if her neighbors would know. It was freeing to cry out her fury. She slammed the door shut, locked it - twice - and stumbled into her tiny bathroom to run cold water over her hand. "Ouch" she exclaimed, "I hope it is not broken".

Her phone jingled again. Who was calling her this insistently? She wrapped a towel around her arm and walked back into the other room, fishing her phone from the sofa. Alice! Bella pressed the answer-button, holding the phone to her ear with her good hand.

"Bella, are you alright?" Alice yelled. "We're on our way already. I didn't know he was going to see you. Edward must have decided on the spur of the moment..." Alice sounded really upset.

"I'm okay, Alice," Bella answered quietly, but her stomach lurched. "He's gone now."

Alice let out a relieved breath, and Bella could hear her flooring her car.

"You don't need to come here, Alice," Bella said. "I'm alright. You've got better things to do than babysitting me on Christmas Eve." She heard Rosalie laugh out sarcastically. She also might have said something like 'fucking idiot', 'control issues' and 'kick his ass'. But she wasn't sure. Her hearing was only human after all.

"He mentioned the Volturi coming after me. You're going to tell me if they come, aren't you?"

"I promised. Yes, I'll tell you. You don't need to worry. They haven't made the decision yet. They believe you're still on your honeymoon. Carlisle sent them a letter, reporting about your wedding and included wedding pictures. You should be safe right now. You should be safe for a while, I hope. Time doesn't mean the same to them like it does to a human."

"Fine," Bella said monotonously. She felt detached from her body somehow. "Listen, I'm really tired. Go home. I'll talk to you later." She snapped the phone closed and went back into her bathroom. Her head started to ache, her hand throbbed painfully. She wrapped ice around it, took some pain killers and went to bed.

Despite being totally exhausted, physically and mentally, she had never felt this strong in her life before. She fought for herself; she stood her ground. Actually, Bella felt a hint of pride with herself. There was lightness around her heart… like a small ray of light, she was starting to believe she would be able to live a life she needed and wanted – without Edward and the Cullens around.

Bella fell asleep with a small smile on her face, dreaming of sunny days and bright smiles...

Bella desperately waited for an answer to her letter, but it never came. The first three or four weeks, she practically sprinted to her mailbox whenever she came home from college or work, but she always found it empty.

Every so often, she held the phone in her hand, contemplating if she should give Jake a call. She shied away every time. What if he hung up on her? What if he told her to leave her alone? Or worse, what if Leah would answer his phone, telling her to go to hell?

Bella knew she loved Jake just as much as the day she realized that she was in love with him at all, but it was only wishful thinking that there could be any kind of future with him. She had missed her opportunity; she hurt Jake and he deserved better. He didn't want her that way. He didn't even want her as a friend anymore or he would have answered the letter, wouldn't he?

She had a very strong feeling that she might have lost Jacob for good. Her emotions got the better of her. She hadn't cried that hard for a long time. She felt so raw, so stripped, she could barely breathe. She holed up in her flat for another week. It hurt knowing that her attempt at making up with Jake had failed. It hurt a lot, although she had known deep in her heart that she'd lost Jacob the moment she'd left him after the battle. She'd always only pushed him away. Why should he answer to her letter?

By time February came, Bella had gotten her act together and finally decided to tell Charlie about her break-up.

First, Charlie had been real quiet and then he just let go. She had never heard Charlie that angry before. "I knew he was not good for you, Bella, and, why the hell, haven't you told me?" he shouted into the phone. "Why did you wait so long? I would have really wanted to know that my daughter is having a difficult time in her life," he ranted.

It took her quite a bit of time convincing Charlie that she simply needed to deal with this on her own first, that she needed to learn how to depend on herself and grow up.

Charlie never had been the emotional type. His outburst told Bella how much he cared for her and how much he had suffered during the last months by being cut out of her life. After his rant, he had calmed down and told her that he was so proud of her. But he had insisted that she needed to come see him - sooner rather than later now. He sounded pretty giddy all of a sudden, which made her smile and then she missed Charlie more than ever.

The week after the call to Charlie she packed up her stuff and transferred to Florida, ready to start a new chapter in her life.

She needed more time to heal and to figure out her life.

Bella got settled in Florida, got accustomed to the new people and put all her energy into her studies.

When she discovered her college was offering courses in self-defense for women, she signed up on the spur of the moment, remembering how good it felt being able to fight for yourself. The classes really were good for her.

The training did not only help her gain control over her body, it also helped her growing in confidence. The Volturi-threat somehow still looming over her, she wanted to be prepared. She knew with no doubt, it was utterly senseless to fight a vampire as a human, but she was determined not to go down at least trying.

Two times, she convinced Charlie to come down to Florida to see her instead of travelling to Forks. She simply could not bring herself to go to La Push at the moment. Charlie understood, but he insisted she couldn't hide forever; she eventually would have to face the people she had left behind.

Bella knew that he actually meant Jacob when he said people, but it was like a tactic agreement not to mention Jacob or anything that involved him. It still was a tender subject for Bella, and Charlie just… understood.

And suddenly, another year was almost over and she faced the third Christmas season since she left Forks.

Charlie was adamant she came over to visit. He was too busy to leave, and he would be working on the holidays, too, but he desperately wanted to see her. Could she really deny him that? He missed her so much.

Bella accepted Charlie's invitation after two nights of contemplating. She wanted to see Jacob again. She wanted to talk things out with him, hoping she could make her amends. She wanted Jacob back in her life, needed to be let back in his. She still missed him terribly. She wasn't sure if she would be strong enough if he would reject her, but simply couldn't stay away from him anymore.

Somehow, it felt as if…

…it was _time_ to go home.

**A/N: Guys, thank you for reading. We am so sorry for soooo much Edward in this chapter, it was very painful for us too..! We thought Bella needed to make this decision now to free herself from her vamp husband and really heal and commit to a her new and independent life, and hopefully find her way HOME again where she belongs. **


	8. Hostage of Love - Back home

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**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**. **

**Chapter Betas: JUL5857 and SueMe**

**_. _**

**_ ._**

**_Hostage of Love_**

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**Chapter 7**

** .**

**Back Home**

.

_Maybe I'm a dreamer_

_Maybe I'm misunderstood_

_Maybe you're not seeing_

_The side of me you should_

_ ._

_Maybe I'm crazy_

_Maybe I'm the only one_

_Maybe I'm just out of touch_

_Maybe I'm just not enough_

_…_

_Maybe it's hopeless_

_Maybe I should just give up_

_What if I can't trust myself_

_What if I just need some help_

_ ._

_Maybe it's time to change_

_And leave it all behind_

_I've never been one to walk alone_

_I've been always been scared to try._

_…_

_So why does it feel so wrong_

_To reach for something more_

_To want to live a better life_

_What I am waiting for_

_Cause nothing stays the same_

_Maybe it's time to change_

_…_

_Cause nothing stays the same_

_Maybe it's time to change_

_ ._

_ Maybe, Sick Puppies_

_._

_~~oOo~~_

_ ._

Charlie picked her up from the airport and they drove home in comfortable silence. The air smelled familiar, carrying the rich, clean scent of the forest, the slightly musky smell of crumbled leaves and the fresh aroma of rain frozen on the ground. Bella didn't realize she had missed it that much.

She noticed Charlie's eyes on her periodically and when she looked at him he would just smile at her, letting her know how happy he was to finally see her again. At the airport he hugged her so tight she thought he'd never let her go - _so not_ Charlie, and that made her realize even more how much he wanted her finally home.

_Home..._ she thought with a small flutter in her heart. _Had anything changed?_ Would the house display a "woman's touch" already, now that Charlie was with Sue? Did she change things around? Did she add some cute curtains to the windows? Or maybe she had planted flowers in their front yard? Bella actually felt excited to discover all the things that might have changed and genuinely happy to see Sue as well. Looking at Charlie, she saw a happy sparkle in his eyes. She couldn't remember seeing that in a very long time. He deserved happiness and someone to take care of him.

_Home..._ she thought again. It felt good thinking about it. She finally felt strong enough to face what she needed to face for so long now. She had prepared herself mentally, so often had rehearsed this moment; she had grown up after all. Life had not been easy all the time. She had needed to learn how to deal with many different situations and how to stand up for herself. Bella was aware that she looked like a woman now. Her face showed the three extra years she had gained, not that she had gotten wrinkles; she just didn't look like a teenage girl anymore. Maybe it was her shorter hair too, but she also knew that she was a beautiful woman now, at least that is what she was told by some of her friends anyway.

Charlie suddenly entered the Forks City line. Her heart started to beat faster as she looked around, trying to make out familiar faces. "Dad, everything looks just the same!" she exclaimed excitedly. She had missed the trees, the dark clouds and even the clean washed roads from the rain. "It smells wonderful!"

It smelled like home...

_Jake!_

Bella briefly smiled. Of course, she would always associate home with Jake. She wondered if he already heard that she was arriving today. What was going through his mind? Would he try to contact her, try to see her? Or maybe he didn't want to see her at all? _Well, he is going to have to see me,_ she thought with determination. _I won't take no for an answer, I will talk to him. I will explain myself to him. I will tell him how much I love him, how much I always loved him, and how sorry I was for what I had put him through._

After all she knew he might be in a serious relationship with Leah, but Bella owed him an explanation at least. She could only hope that one day he would be her friend again. He had 'ignored' her letter, but he was not going to ignore her in person...

She felt strong; she was ready to face him. She would let him rant and rave if he needed too. He had the right to do so. She would take it willingly. She had been so stupid in the past, and now she would do her best to right that wrong.

"Home sweet home," Charlie said grinning and pulled up in their driveway, parking his cruiser next to another car, Bella recognized as the Clearwater's old Cherokee. The door of the house opened and Sue stepped out onto the porch.

Bella held her breath in anticipation, as she looked at Sue's smiling face. Sue was waiting for her to come home. She got out of the car and walked up the steps to greet Sue.

Sue gave her a big hug. "You have no idea how happy you made your dad by coming home, Bella. Welcome Home." Sue pressed her shoulder slightly, and quietly added, "It's good to see you alive and well."

Bella nodded, her heart in her throat. "Yeah..." she whispered, feeling a slight stab of guilt for making her... them... worry for so long. Everyone in the pack knew her secret had expected her to be changed into a vampire right after the wedding. She should have told them earlier...

"Come on in and have some iced tea with us." Sue said, interrupting her train of thought.

Bella happily accepted. Bella whole heartedly thanked her for taking care of Charlie while she was gone. The little twinkle in Sue's eyes had not gone unnoticed. Bella wondered what that was all about. But then again, Sue knew both of the worlds she had been 'running' with. Sue knew what happened to Jacob, how she broke Jake's heart and how she just left him behind. Bella also had this feeling that Sue also knew about her feelings for Jacob, too. It seemed strange, but what was 'normal' in her world anyway? In any case, Bella felt confident that she could trust Sue.

The following few days were relaxing and just what she needed to reconnect with Charlie, in addition to settling in as best as she could. Sue left them alone, so they could talk about everything in peace. Bella appreciated the gesture. She and Charlie talked about most of what had happened, why her marriage had failed and about her life in Jacksonville. Naturally, she had to leave all the super natural aspects out of her story. After Charlie had learned that Bella was working hard on herself and her education, he had told her that he was very proud of her new, independent life.

"Guess you grew up, kiddo," he said and they both had to laugh.

They spent Christmas Eve and Christmas morning alone as well. Bella wondered out loud why Sue wouldn't even stop by, while taking a hearty bite out of a chocolate cookie and giggling through a funny scene of the movie she was watching. "The Santa Claus" had always been her favorite Christmas movie and it was just too funny seeing Tim Allen slowly turn into Santa Claus.

"Sue's with her kids and -" Charlie started, but stopped mid-sentence, looking at his daughter with an uneasy smile. "Bells, I really need to tell you-"

Bella held up her hand, telling him to stop. "Dad, don't. Please. I don't want to talk about it. Not today."

"Bella, you really should know..." Charlie insisted, shifting on the sofa uncomfortably.

Bella shook her head and bit down on her lip. _What was there to know?_ She had already figured out that Jake and Leah were together. She didn't want to know any details. "I promise, dad. I'll listen to you later, but not today. It's Christmas." Bella peered at Charlie, silently asking for his understanding, but she felt guilty, too. She should at least ask her father about Billy and how he was doing. However, she was hesitant, too scared of what she might hear.

Charlie nodded, reluctantly, and turned his gaze back to the TV.

"Dad," Bella then asked quietly. "You didn't stay away from the Clearwater Christmas Party for me, did you?" Charlie had mentioned that both of them were invited.

"Bella, trust me, this quiet time with you here is very refreshing. Sometimes, those loud parties can be tiring with half of the LaPush boys cramping up Sue's space and eating her out of house and home," he noted, smiling broadly.

Bella couldn't concentrate on the movie anymore. Her thoughts were all over the place. Maybe Jake wasn't just "with" Leah anymore; maybe they were married by now. Maybe that was what her father wanted her to know. Maybe that was the reason why he didn't answer her letter. Maybe that was the reason why Sue treated her so nicely. If Jake was happy now, there'd be no reason for Sue to be mad with her anymore.

All the 'maybes' were driving her insane. Bella started to fidget in her seat. She needed to stop thinking about him and all the possibilities or she'd burst into tears and freak out Charlie entirely. Bella got up and went into her room.

Hours later, when she had calmed down a bit, Bella decided she was going to cook a nice meal for herself, Charlie and Sue. She hadn't cooked for other people in so long, and she really missed it. So she went downstairs and told Charlie, asking him to give Sue a call and invite her over for dinner the next day.

The next morning, she drove over to the market and picked out all the ingredients to cook a nice beef roast with mashed potatoes and corn on the cob. She hurried back home to get the meat browned and into the oven. While she was chopping the carrots and the onions she was thinking of all the meals she used to cook in this kitchen. All the meals Jake had enjoyed on so many occasions...

She longed all of a sudden to cook for Jake, she wanted to prepare all of his favorite meals and bake the cookies and pies he so enjoyed. Was there any hope that he would let her do so one day again or was it too late already?

Sue, Charlie and Bella had a wonderful evening. Sue was impressed with her cooking skills and promised to return the favor soon. She wanted Bella and Charlie come to her place and have a small welcome home celebration for Bella. "How about a New Year's Eve Party," Sue suddenly suggested.

"Um, I'm sorry, Sue, but I have to go back before New Year. Renee wanted me to be there with her and Phil for their New Year's Party. But thank you so much for your invitation. I really appreciate it." Bella saw the disappointing look on Charlie's face right away and felt a little guilty, but there was only so much she could do about that.

That night, she lay in her bed, knowing she needed to go see Jake soon. She had only so much time left before she had to go back to Florida. Jake had not called or come by, not that she'd really expected him to do just that, but she had hoped he would. Deep down she had known Jake would stay away. It hurt badly, but she understood.

"Tomorrow, I will see him, no matter what," she whispered into her pillow. It would be the hardest thing she had to do yet. Bella only hoped he wouldn't hate her - this she wouldn't be able to handle. Her mind wandered back to almost three years ago when she had walked in on him and Leah in that small clearing in the woods. She couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if he had been alone that night.

She also remembered how she simply had needed to make sure he was okay after what had happened at her wedding. She cringed and felt her stomach drop as she thought back to that awful moment. She would never be able to forget the hurt, desperate look on Jake's face and how he had begged her not to go through with her 'honeymoon plans'.

She had been so stupid then. She had chosen Edward, never even clearly thinking about that it really was always her _sun_, her _light_, and her _warmth_ that she wanted and needed. Edward had fogged her mind with his predatory powers of persuasion. Unfortunately, she found that out only too late. "Oh, I really hate him," she murmured upset and slammed her fist down onto her mattress. "I even hate thinking about him!"

She would never forget how he had urged and enticed her to go find Jake. He had wanted her to find Jake and Leah and ultimately destroy Jacob, knowing what it would do to him, but also knowing how much it would hurt her as well.

"Argh, stop it already, Swan," Bella snarled at herself. It was hard enough dwelling on all those terrible 'what ifs'. It was the past and she wanted to move on. The next big step was clearing things up with Jake. "I have to stop stalling," she said resolutely.

She was going to see Jake.

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**~~oOo~~**

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The next day, Bella entered the small diner in Forks. She wanted some time to relax and get all her thoughts together for a while, and she thought this was done best away from home.

She sat down in a small booth and ordered herself some coffee. Her flight back to Florida would be the day before the New Year. That gave her five days. She needed to see Jake before then. There wasn't much time left. Bella sighed. She'd wasted so many days already, days she could have been at Jake's to clear things up.

She decided to go and see Jake today, but she wanted to wait until early evening when she thought Jake would be home. She was feeling anxious and excited at the same time. Still, she was going through with her plans.

The waitress put the large mug of steaming black liquid down in front of her. Bella generously added sugar and cream to it, lifted the mug and brought it to her lips. The coffee ran smoothly down her throat, soothing some of her anxiety. She looked up, when the front door opened and a new costumer came in.

Bella recognized her at once. She hadn't changed much since the day she had last seen her. In the woods… with Jacob… having sex… Bella gasped, her anxiety sky-rocketing.

It was Leah. A softer version of the Leah she had known, but nevertheless and unmistakably Leah.

Bella's eyes moved from Leah's face to the bump in front of her chest, realizing it was a baby. Considering its size it couldn't be older than a few weeks. Bella gasped again and her coffee mug almost slipped out of her hands.

Leah quickly surveyed the busy diner, searching for an open table and then her eyes had narrowed in on Bella. Leah's eyes widening in surprise. Bella fought the instant urge to hide behind her hair but offered Leah a meek wave, letting her know that she had recognized her too.

Confidently, Leah moved across the diner and walked straight toward Bella's table. Leah looked absolutely stunning. She was tall and lean and despite her apparent recent pregnancy, she was gorgeous and simply glowed.

Bella wanted to bolt and run. She didn't want to talk to Leah. She was scared of what she might find out. But then, Leah had never really bothered talking to her, so why should today be different? Bella lowered her head and stared into her coffee. Maybe, if she ignored Leah, Leah would ignore her too…

A pair of long, toned legs stopped right next to her table. "Hi, Bella. I'll be dammed, what a surprise to see you in here."

_Nope. Not lucky today._

Bella looked up, forcing half a smile upon her face. "Hi, Leah."

"You don't mind if I join you, do you? It's so crowded at this time of the day and there seems to be no tables open right now…" Leah said and sat down, not bothering for Bella to respond. Ignoring Bella, she loosened the fabric in which she carried her sleeping baby and removed the baby's hat, putting it on the table. It was a gesture so motherly, Bella wanted to weep. Her eyes assessed the baby's hair—shiny, black, thick and curly-and the skin tone—soft and copper, and then settled on the baby's hat. It was brown, hand-knitted and had tiny wolf ears. Suddenly, Bella felt sick to her stomach.

The waitress came and took Leah's order.

"Congrats on your baby," Bella choked out, clenching her hands to fists under the table. "How old is it?"

Leah beamed at her brightly. "He's two months old. His name is Yuma." She pulled the fabric down, letting Bella see her sleeping baby's face completely, which was scrunched up in deep sleep. The boy's long lashes casted shadows on pronounced cheekbones, his puckered lips made small, sucking sounds, and the nose… the nose was unmistakably Jacob's.

Bella's heart just sank and she felt a sharp pain in her chest.

The baby moved and whimpered softly; sticking a tiny fist out of the sling he was being carried in.

"There, there," Leah cooed. "You are one hungry little puppy, aren't you?" Quickly, she opened the rings that held the fabric in place and pulled it loose, supporting her baby with the other hand. Again, the boy whined, more vigorous this time. "This baby simply has no patience," Leah explained proudly and brought the baby across her stomach, positioning his head in the bend of her elbow. Unabashed, she unbuttoned the top of her blouse, enough to expose her plump breast.

Bella watched the baby's mouth open widely. He grunted, moving his head from side to side impatiently as he hungrily searched for his mother's nipple. Leah laughed and helped him to latch on. Then she grimaced and hissed. "Whoa! Easy there, sweetheart. This nipple is no chew toy."

For a moment, they silently watched the baby's rhythmic sucking and swallowing—Bella absolutely stunned, Leah almost overflowing with love for her tiny boy.

"He's beautiful…" Bella rasped eventually, swallowing down a sob. "Is it… is he… Jacob's?" Bella asked, digging her fingers into her thighs.

"Most likely," Leah answered smirking, and put a streak of her chin-length, glossy hair behind her ear. "He could be Sam's though, too, but when I really look at him closely…he has more Jake's face, doesn't he?" Leah laughed.

Bella could only stare at Leah. _WHAT?_

Leah laughed out again and winked at Bella. "It was one hell of a weekend when I went into heat… It was surprising to say the least, and overwhelming. I believe it can be really painful if you don't have someone to scratch your itch, if you know what I mean." Leah snickered. "But I had Jake mostly for that. He was always really eager to help me out... but so did Sam."

They stopped talking when the waitress came to put down the hot chocolate Leah had ordered in front of her and waited for her to leave.

Bella just stared at Leah in shock. "Sam?" she finally questioned. "I thought he is with Emily."

"Well, it's a long story Bella, this imprint crap is not really what it appeared to be at one time, trust me," Leah said with a wink of her eye, leaving Bella even more confused. "And with me being in heat... Man, the wolves were going insane," Leah went on. "If it weren't for Sam and Jake, the whole pack would have run down my front door."

The baby mewled and Leah positioned him on her other breast. Yuma latched on and was content, while Leah went on talking, caressing the boy's tiny feet. "I hadn't been feeling well for a couple of days and thought that maybe I was getting sick or something, but then all of a sudden I was as horny as I've ever been before."

Bella felt more and more sick in her stomach, but she couldn't move, nor could she take her eyes of Yuma and Leah.

"I was a little out of my mind those days… Being in heat is…" Leah laughed again, waving with her hand dismissively. "Sam was still the Alpha back then and... you know..." Leah stopped, staring at Bella, and then she blurted out, "Who could resist the Alpha... I tried, but..." She shrugged and smirked smugly. "I wonder how Jake managed to share… He was so dominating and possessive at the time.

"Jake is the Alpha now?" Bella wondered out loud.

"Jacob was always meant to be our Alpha. We've been waiting so long for him to accept his fate and take responsibility," Leah exclaimed, looking like the old Leah for just a moment. "Jake has been our Alpha for almost nine months now." She trailed off and looked at her sucking baby admiringly, all calm again.

Bella only wanted to cover her ears and run now. How could Leah talk to her as if she was her bestie? She definitely wasn't, never had been. Bella didn't want to hear how they had screwed each other. The visual she had from finding them going at it in the forest was reminder enough for an entire lifetime. And now she was telling her she was screwing Sam as well? _What was going on down there in La Push?_

"Did you know that's what happened to Embry's mom?" Leah asked, twirling a strand of her hair between her fingertips.

"What? That Jake mated with her?" Bella gasped horrified.

"No, silly." Leah cackled like a hyena. When did Leah actually become that overly humorous? "Kateri went in heat, even though she never phased. She had been barren for years and suddenly, _bam_! The men on the Rez practically went crazy with her smell… but it was Billy she chose and several months later, Embry was born."

Bella groaned and buried her face in her hands. Leah really was too talkative for her liking. She suddenly very much wanted back the old, bitchy Leah. Did she want to know about Billy and – _gulp_ – Embry's mom? _Hell, no!_ Things are getting pretty weird around here.

"But how could you... How could Sam...?" she heard herself ask despite the awkward situation she already was in, realizing at the same time that it would open the doors to more of Leah's, uhm, gossip…

Leah's head snapped up and she glanced at Bella arrogantly. "It's complicated and... actually... It's none of your concern." She leaned forward and stated cooly, "We heard that you're separated from your leech now."

Bella blushed and shifted in her seat, feeling even more uncomfortable. She wasn't used to talk about her private life so openly, but she also wasn't ashamed of the divorce anymore. If anything, she'd only been ashamed to have married Edward in the first place... Bella straightened and answered in a calm voice, "I broke up with him two years ago." It was all Bella was willing to share. The only people who deserved the whole truth were her parents and Jake.

"At least you don't stink as bad anymore," Leah responded and waited for Bella to tell her more. When Bella stayed silent, her lips pressed to a thin line. "What are you doing here anyway?" She glared at Bella. "Messing up everything all over again?" Leah asked with a disgusted expression.

Bella suddenly was annoyed. How rude would it be at this point if she just stood up and left?

No! She had promised to herself, she wouldn't run away anymore from uncomfortable situations. So she straightened her back instead and told her the same thing she was told only a few moments ago. "Leah, I believe _this_ is none of _your_ business," Bella called out to her, with a sudden burst of confidence.

Leah leaned over the table and hissed aggressively, "Stay the hell away from Jake. I won't let you hurt him all over again! He's been through enough thanks to you!"

Bella flinched and knew it was time to leave. Seeing Leah and the baby just was too much to handle, and now Leah practically threatening her... She couldn't stay here any longer. Her stomach clenched painfully. "I really need to go now. Charlie is waiting for me. I promised dinner would be ready when he comes home…" She jumped up, placing the money for her coffee on the table. "Bye, Leah!"

Bella grabbed her jacket and her purse, and hurried to the bathroom, feeling sick and overwhelmed by all the information. She was scared now, too, scared that she might have lost Jake forever. Even though she had known that Jake was with Leah, it felt like a huge stab to her heart - knowing Jacob was a father. The tiny bit of hope Bella had carried deep inside her, that he might try and love her again, slipped away and left Bella shocked to the core.

She splashed cold water onto her face, trying to shake off the sickness she felt. She looked at herself in the mirror. Yeah, she looked just about how she felt right now, defeated and very sad. When she slowly made her way back out of the bathroom, thinking this day just couldn't get any worse than it was already, she was proven wrong...

Pushing the bathroom door open and stepping out into the hall, Bella froze on the spot. She expected Leah to be gone, too, but when she checked the table where she had been sitting just moments before, her eyes spotted… Jake!

Her eyes glued themselves on to him as he greeted Leah. He kissed her lovingly on the cheek, and took the baby into his arms… ever so carefully. She could only stare at him with awe. He wore a fitted white button-down shirt and black jeans, looking absolutely gorgeous and sexy and— _God_, he took her breath away.

He had the sleeves of his white shirt rolled up to his elbows and his arms, deep russet skinned, were like tree trunks. Her eyes traveled even lower yet, passing his small waist, and her breath caught, her mouth went all dry. Why had she never noticed this tight, sexy ass of his?

Her eyes soaked everything in. She was mesmerized by what she saw.

Jacob sat down next to Leah, stretching his long legs out. Bella felt the panic rise up in her throat as she realized there was no way out, that there was no way to escape this humiliation of having to witness this 'happy family'.

Her heart skipped several beats, before accelerating to a frantic pace.

She thought she might pass out right then and there.

The waitress rushed passed Bella, almost bumping into her. She apologized and Bella stepped out of her way, before looking back to Jake.

Suddenly Jacob inhaled deeply. He turned his head, tilting it, and then his eyes zoomed in on her.

Their eyes locked.

She felt like she was looking right into Jacob's soul. All of his pain seemed to reflect in his eyes, reflecting every day, every month and every year that she was gone.

It hurt knowing that she had inflicted that pain on him, but at the same time she felt incredibly drawn to him. She kept looking into the depth of his dark brown eyes, knowing that all of her hopes and dreams lay within. She had dreamt of this moment for so long. Her eyes filled with tears, but she didn't dare blink them away. It was like there was no one else in the world but her and Jacob in that moment.

There he was, so close, and she would only need to walk across the hall and greet him. She would only need to ask him if they could talk. It would be the mature thing to do. Talk to him and clear things up. That was why she was here, right?

Bella noticed Jacob stand up, ever so slowly, never leaving her eyes for one second, his body now fully facing her.

Suddenly, it was all too much. Her emotions got the better of her. She could feel the tears behind her eyes, and although she really, really needed to talk to him, to be near him, to beg for his forgiveness, she couldn't Not with Leah and the baby in close proximity. She needed to talk to him when he was alone. There was no way that she would let Leah hear everything that she had to say to Jake. His eyes had spoken volumes, she almost drowned in them. She was almost sure that she had seen longing and love in them. _If only she were that lucky._

She offered Jake a sad, apologetic smile and a little wave, turned around and slowly walked out of the diner.

.

~~oOo~~

.

On his way to his next costumer, Jacob drove by the diner in Forks and stopped, seeing Leah's car stand in the parking lot. He parked his black Chevy truck and walked in, his eyes making Leah out in the crowd instantly. He walked over to her and his son, ordering a cup of coffee on his way to the booth. He was greeted by the owner of the diner and some of the other patrons warmly. Jacob smiled and returned their friendly gesture by waving his hand at them as well.

"Hey," he said smiling and pecked Leah on her lips. "I saw your car outside. Are you both enjoying your afternoon?" he asked with a deep loving voice. He took the baby from her arms, cradling him to his chest, and sat down beside Leah.

"Hey, buddy. How are you doing?" he cooed, placing a sweet kiss onto the baby's forehead. His ears pricked up when he heard a slight commotion across the hall. Then his nose picked up a scent….. strawberries and vanilla. He tensed slightly, sniffing the air, his expression changing. The hair on his neck started to tingle. Immediately, there was this all too familiar ache in his heart, only worse now, he felt a sharp pain and this stunned him beyond belief.

"Jacob," Leah called out to him, but he only raised his hand to gesture to her to be quiet.

Leah knew when he was serious, and he was very serious right now, she felt sorry for him. _Damn Bella,_ she thought; really irritated now.

Jacob's eyes flew around the diner immediately, scanning everybody until he saw her standing by the bathroom door.

Jacob froze.

He felt the blood drain from his face as their eyes met and she held his gaze.

His world completely stopped!

Neither one of them could move. They were completely stunned by each other's presence.

_She really came home,_ was all he could think.

She looked rattled, deeply shaken, and pretty pale, but still she was beautiful. She had grown into an even more gorgeous woman. Her features were more defined and, of course, she still had her beautiful chocolate brown soft eyes. He had been dreaming of those eyes almost every night since she had left.

A single tear ran down her cheek; her lower lip trembled a little bit. Yes, she had changed. Her hair was shorter, the soft curls tickling the slender line of her neck, and she had gained some weight, too. It suited her perfectly. She became a woman while she was away.

"Leah, please, take Yuma for a moment," he asked Leah, his voice toneless, and he handed the baby over.

He had known that Bella came back to see Charlie, but until now he couldn't bring himself to go to her yet. Naturally, he also waited for her to make the first move, and now she was right here in front of him... _What was she going to do? What should HE do?_

There was so much that he needed to hear from her. So much that he needed to tell her in return. He wanted to know why she hadn't told him about her divorce. He felt that he deserved to know and that he deserved an apology, _hell_... and a lot more… but he also owed her.

He always regretted what she was forced to witness in the woods …..with Leah. He still was sorry that she saw, and he wanted her to know this.

Jacob didn't know if things would ever be okay between them, if they could forgive each other, but they needed to try at least.

Slowly, he rose to his feet.

Bella turned her head ever so slowly, looking over to where Leah was sitting with Yuma. He could see her mind going into over-drive. Then she looked back at him, her eyes meeting his once more. The deep sadness in them mirrored his desperation.

She looked at Leah again and back to him, and then slowly shook her head, losing some of the tears she was holding. She smiled at him, with the sad look on her face, and gave him a small wave with her hand and turned to leave.

Before he could compel his body to cross the space between them, Bella walked out of the restaurant with her head held high.

Finally he jerked forward, but a hand wrapped around his arm, holding him in place. "Don't, Jake," a soft voice said. "Let her go, she needs some time right now."

Jacob slumped onto his seat, unwittingly rubbing his chest. It hurt, seeing her leave. _ Aw, Bella we need to talk!_ The tiny wail of his son pulled him back and suddenly, the noises and smells that had faded away when he saw her, hit him full force. He started trembling and clenched his hands, trying to regain control over himself.

"I need to talk to her," Jacob said, his voice raspy.

"And you will, but give her some time," Leah replied, giving him a look of commiseration. "It must have been hard for her seeing me with Yuma and then you showed up..."

Jacob rubbed his face and groaned inwardly. Things were starting to get complicated all over again… Bella had been so shocked. It was as if she didn't know about the baby. Wouldn't Charlie have told her?

"She was clueless," Leah said as if she was able to read his mind, and placed the baby from her one shoulder to the other. "I thought she should know and—"

"…you told her all the gory details. Way to go, Leah!" Jacob retorted and rolled his eyes. It was so typical Leah. He ran his hands through his hair, holding himself back from snapping at her. After a long uncomfortable silence, he finally asked, "Will you come by tonight?"

"I don't think so," Leah answered, and gave him an apologetic smile. "Sam wanted to see Yuma, and Mom wanted to see us, too. I suppose you'll be with Bella anyway, so I better make myself scarce, right?"

"Ah, Leah. Don't be like this," Jacob muttered, and tickled his son's chubby feet. "But you could be right, though. Bella and I, we need to talk things out. We just can't go on like this…"

Leah put the baby into his arms before leaning into his side.

Jacob left a couple of minutes later to go to his appointment with his costumer, feeling lighter than he had in a very long time. He finally had seen Bella with his own eyes.

His heart sped up just a little...

.

.

** A/N: Sooooo... We can only say one thing: TRUST US!**

**Lots of love, EyJ &amp; JB**


	9. Hostage of Love - What Went Wrong

**Disclaimer:****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Our appreciation goes out to our chapter** **betas JUL5857 and SueMe.**

_**Hostage of Love**_

_**Chapter 8**_

_**What went wrong?**_

_How I wish you could see the potential_

_The potential of you and me_

_It's like a book elegantly bound_

_But in a language you can't read just yet_

_You gotta spend some time, love_

_You gotta spend some time with me_

_And I know that you'll find love_

_I will possess your heart_

_I will possess your heart, Death Cab for Cutie_

The pain was unbearable.

His dark, soulful eyes were pleading with her, silently asking her to stay, but she didn't have the strength.

Bella walked out of the diner at a moderate pace with her head held high, fighting hard to keep her dignity by keeping the tears at bay. She heaved a sigh of elation when she finally made it into her truck and quickly eased out of the parking lot, eager to leave this place as fast as she could without causing a stir.

No matter how._..excited_ and _happy_... she felt to finally see Jake, the knowledge that he had built a _real_ life, had a _real_ family caused her immeasurable pain, which rose above everything else. She wasn't even around the first corner when she allowed her tears to flow freely now, there was no point in holding them back anyway. With her first tears came a cry so hopeless, she felt utterly utter devastation to her core. The sobs wracked her body; her salty tears blinded her vision. She needed to pull over.

Visions of the moment when she had walked into the clearing, seeing both of them having sex, and now how Jacob had kissed Leah and took the baby into his arms, made Bella cry even more.

He looked so content and so happy holding his son. He was so beautiful. Even from where she was standing, she could _feel_ the love he felt for his baby - and Leah.

Her sobs came harder; her heart clenched painfully. She hunched over and clutched the wheel tightly. She had suspected that Jacob had moved on and probably was with Leah given the few hints Charlie dropped here and there, but to actually really see him interacting with his baby and Leah... was simply too much. Why did it hurt so much? She knew she should be happy for him, but it tore her apart. Jake deserved to be happy, she reminded herself, she always wanted him to be happy, if only... she had come to her senses much earlier, if only... she were more persistent in trying to contact him... if only.

Her breath came in short painful gasps. She felt like everything was totally lost. Any chance she might have ever had, once upon a time... seemed gone... Gone. This sudden realization ripped her heart into painful pieces. She held her arms tight around her chest as if it could prevent the pain. This was worse than anything she ever had experienced before. She _needed_ Jake so much._What had she done? _

The desperate sobbing quieted after a while, but her tears wouldn't stop. Bella started her truck and slowly drove home. She knew that she needed to pull herself together in case Charlie was home. She didn't want him to see her like that. She felt humiliated enough for a life time, and she brought it onto herself after all. She needed to stay strong, on the outside at least, for now, for Charlie.

After she parked her truck, she slowly walked up the steps, as if she were in some kind of strange trance. She opened the front door and Charlie recognized her condition immediately. He looked up from the papers he was working on and his eyes got wide in acknowledgement. "You saw him..." he stated with a frown and sighed. "...and you found out."

Bella nodded weakly and walked to the sink, pouring herself a glass of water. She was parched from all the crying. Her throat was dry, her lips chapped... on the inside she didn't feel any better, either. In fact, this was truly the worst day in her entire life. All of her energy, and her will to go on had been drained away.

"I'm sorry, Bells. I tried to tell you, and I probably should have told you a long time ago, but I did not know how-" Charlie started, but Bella interrupted.

"Yeah, I know, Dad." She slugged the water down and refilled her glass. ..._How he tenderly hugged the baby..._

"I never let you talk about him when you wanted to tell me... It's my fault." She drank some more water before putting her glass down. Bella felt awful. And stupid, really stupid. It really was her fault alone. If she hadn't been so afraid of what Charlie had to tell her, she wouldn't have made a complete fool out of her today. If she hadn't been so afraid period. Listening to Leah gush over the events had been like a slap in her face. _It was one hell of a weekend when I went into heat…_ Bella blushed. She still was mortified.

Charlie looked at her, not hiding his concern. "You alright, kiddo?"

Bella walked across the room and stopped beside him, taking his hand and pressing it slightly. "He's happy," she said and smiled, wiping a fresh tear from her face. _He's even more beautiful than when I saw him last time. Being a dad seemed natural for him_ "I'm happy for him, Dad, he deserves the best."

~*~o~*~o~*~

"You look terrible, Bella," Charlie answered gruffly, his eyes flickering over her with a worried expression on his face. _Jacob_ and_happy_? Those words didn't seem to belong together when it came to Jacob - not for a long time anyway.

He could be wrong, though, because Jacob had changed a lot over the last couple of months. Or that was what Billy kept saying when they went fishing or met to watch TV.

However, Charlie hadn't seen him often since the baby had been born. He was told that he took the responsibilities that came with being a father seriously. He had started working at the local real estate agency full time, was pursuing another part time job halfway up to Makah as a construction worker and he was still repairing cars in his garage. One could mean that for Jacob a day didn't stop after 24 hours... but _happy_?

Looking at his daughter, Charlie had the feeling that things were more difficult than it seemed. He had seen Jacob after Bella had married the Cullen kid and went away. He could never shake the feeling that Jacob's feeling for Bella ran really deep and that Leah somehow was sort of a replacement…

Bella pressed his hand again, pulling him out of his thoughts.

"Don't worry, Dad. I'll get over it," Bella replied, trying to sound confident. "I'm a big girl now. I can handle this... but..." She let go of Charlie and went to the stairs. "I'd rather be alone now if you don't mind..."

"Sure, Bella, get some rest. Take a nap maybe..." Charlie told her, his concern evident by his sadden tone.

On her way upstairs, Bella could feel her father's sorrowful stare on her back, but she couldn't hold up her strong facade much longer. She started crying as soon as she closed the door of her room behind her.

For the remainder of the day, Bella stayed in her room, wallowing in self-pity and sorrow. She knew it was pathetic and that she had promised to herself to be strong, and confident, and grown-up. However, it was damn hard to be strong when all her hopes and dreams had been shattered with a few simple words. _Is he Jake's?_... _Most likely… he has more of Jake's face..._

She would be strong again tomorrow. Today, she only wanted to drown in regret and despair.

~*~o~*~o~*~

Jacob came home late, finding his house empty and quiet.

It seemed that Leah and Yuma were over at Sue's or maybe they were at Sam's. He couldn't remember if or what Leah had told him earlier. He picked up one of Yuma's socks and his baby blanket that lay on the floor and folded it neatly, before he went into the shower, feeling emotionally drained.

He kept thinking of Bella's eyes, and her facial expression… pure devastation and shock. Her eyes were like endless pools of sadness. He hated to see her sad; he always had and he still did.

He also thought about how beautiful she was. She had grown into an even more beautiful woman - if that was even possible. He couldn't stop himself from thinking way back, thinking how she had looked up to him with bright eyes, wearing a wedding gown that _so_ wasn't her... _I can have a real wedding night, a real honeymoon..._

_Oh, hell no,_ he thought with fervor. There was no way he was going _there_ again. He quickly finished washing up and got out of the shower. Stark naked and dripping - good thing Leah wasn't there to berate him for leaving puddles on the floor - he went into his bedroom and pulled a pair of sweat pants out of his dresser, putting them on.

He was so wound up; his muscles were twitching. A run in wolf form would help him for sure, but, hearing his stomach growl suddenly getting something to eat seemed the priority right now. In the kitchen, he found a couple of sandwiches that Leah must have prepared for him earlier and sat down on his huge leather couch. He ate the sandwiches, while watching TV but couldn't concentrate for one straight minute. He decided to give his father a quick call, making sure his old man was okay, and then he went back to watching TV. Still, he couldn't get his thoughts off Bella.

He really wished she would have come to see him, he knew she couldn't know where he lived, but if she really wanted to find him, it clearly wouldn't be too hard to find out. She could ask his dad, her dad, Sue… ask anybody. If she really wanted she would find out.

Jacob sighed and ran his hands through his hair. If he was honest with himself, he had already figured that she wouldn't show up. Not by the look he had seen in her eyes when she had turned and walked out of the diner.

She was hurt, seeing him with Leah and the baby... _Hell!_ He could even understand that. However, they needed to talk. It was time! After all, she owed him some serious answers... and he had to tell her so much, too.

Jacob got up and grabbed his car keys, but then he stopped and reached for the shirt that hang haphazardly over one of the chairs and slipped into a pair of shoes.

~*~o~*~o~*~

After sulking the entire afternoon and part of the evening, Bella felt trapped and closed in. She could no longer stay indoors. She needed to get out; she needed to get some fresh air, and maybe clear her mind a little.

She got up from her bed and walked into the bathroom to at least wash her face and comb her messy hair. She looked as terrible as she felt. "Who cares anyway," she muttered, tossing her brush onto the counter. Bella slowly walked down the stairs, wondering what Charlie was doing. She knew she had him worried...again.

The house seemed quite, too quite. "Dad?" she called out. Nothing. She went into the hallway and noticed that his jacket was gone. Maybe he went to Sue's place. It was better that way. Tonight, Bella wasn't the best company. She didn't want to worry him more that it was necessary, and she also didn't want to explain where she would go at that late hour.

Putting on her warm jacket, some gloves, her old green beanie and a warm scarf, she quietly left the house. The wind was fierce and she shuddered. She just wasn't used to this cold anymore.

She stumbled down the porch, almost slipping on a frozen patch on the stair, holding herself up-right in the last moment, and noticed that she had forgotten her car keys. "Crap!" she cursed under her breath and hurried back as fast as she dared. Then she did something she rarely did; she went into the kitchen and took two cans of Charlie's beers. A little alcohol would for sure ease her anxious mind tonight...

Armed with her beer, Bella finally made her way back to the truck, welcoming the opportunity to numb her senses. She had no idea what she was doing or where she was going. She didn't care at the moment, either. _Just away,_ she thought. She needed to get out of here and just drive, so she climbed into her truck and did just that; Mindlessly driving around without an aim or any sense of time.

At some point, Bella killed the engine, too exhausted to go on any longer. She sat for a moment, staring numbly into space. She heard the sound of waves then, and her head jerked up. "First Beach!" she shouted out, while her heart started to race and her breath came in short gasps. Of all places she could have gone, she came here?

Her fingers started to tingle. She felt a little light-headed, too, and there she realized she was steering towards one of her panic attacks. "Breathe, Bella..." she panted, trying to recall the relaxation techniques she had learned during her yoga classes in Florida. If only it were that easy, everything here reminded her of her happy times with Jake... Deliberately, she took some slow and deep breaths, trying to concentrate as much as she could.

It took her some time to get her bearings, but when she finally got her act together, she shrugged her shoulders and grabbed her beer and a flashlight that was knew was stored in the glove department. Carefully, because it was so dark here, Bella made her way down to the beach. She needed to numb this pain in her chest, even when it was senseless and stupid. Drinking never had even solved a problem before, but the soothing numbness that came with drinking really was compelling right about now.

With a sigh, Bella pulled her flash light out of her pocket and let its light help her find her way without breaking a leg. When she finally found were she wanted to go to, she sat down ...on _their l_og! She opened the first can of beer, thinking about all the times she had been here with Jake. She huffed and gulped half the can down in one swig.

"Yuk." She shuddered from the unpleasant taste. How could Charlie drink that stuff and like it? However, the alcohol immediately warmed her from the inside and as soon as she had emptied the first can, she felt a numbing buzz of the alcohol already. It made her light-headed, but this time the feeling actually was kinda _nice_.

Bella opened the second can and took a couple more sips. Then she closed her eyes and dreamt of what she had lost...

_Jacob._

~*~o~*~o~*~

"Damn, Jake! Tonight is poker night. Where the hell are you?" Embry rattled the door knob on the front door.

"Guess, he blew us off, " Quil complained. "His truck is gone, too. Looks like someone had better things to do tonight." He laughed raunchily, and elbowed Embry in the side. The next moment, he lifted the bottle of Jack he was carrying with him in a paper bag. "Embry, my brother," he exclaimed. "No way we let this liquid silk go to waste!"

"It would be a shame," Embry agreed and they decided to make their way down to the beach, following the little path leading through Jake's back yard directly down to the beach. Jake's rental house really was convenient. Quiet, hidden away for privacy, and right on the beach.

Quil cradled the bottle of Jack Daniels in his arms, laughing at the lame jokes Embry told, when almost simultaneously they both noticed a figure in the distance, slumped against a large piece of drift wood.

"Dude, this looks like a girl. Let's go and have some fun," Embry called out. "I guess this is our lucky night after all." In good spirits, they hurried forward and when they were about half way there, they came to a sudden halt, picking up a familiar scent. Surprised, they stared at each other.

"Fuck me," Quil said. "It's Bella, bro. I told you she came back."

They observed her for a moment, listening to her humming. She sure looked as if she was in dire need of some company.

"Let's go down there and see what she is up to," Embry suggested and started walking toward her in a fast pace. Suddenly stopping again, he sniffed the air and couldn't believe it. "Dude, do you smell that?" he asked Quil.

"She's drinking," they both exclaimed in unison and crossed the space with a few quick strides, smiling broadly. The night promised to be fun.

They knew she wouldn't be able to hear them approaching as the waves and the wind were too noisy. In fact, she wouldn't be able to hear them approaching in any case. Wolves were sneaky, and walking soft-footed came natural to them. When they were close enough, Quil coughed trying to get Bella's attention, but to no avail. She was too wrapped up with herself, and then they picked up something more with their excellent sight and hearing. She was sniffing quietly.

"Damn, crying girls are no fun," Quil wailed.

"Maybe she'd rather be alone?" Embry thought about turning around and giving Bella privacy.

Quil shook his head. "Are you crazy, man? It's freezing cold. We can't leave her all alone by herself and drinking..."

"Yeah, that would be irresponsible..." Embry said and grinned, figuring out that a sad girl would need a lot of comfort.

Quil deliberately stepped on a piece of driftwood lying around. It broke with an audible crack. "That should do it," he stated.

"Who's there?" Bella spun around, startled by the sudden and unwelcome interruption to her moping. Frantically, she fumbled around for her flashlight and when she found it, she switched it on, practically floodlighting the intruders.

"Bella, Bella, Cinderella," Quil called out while holding his hand up to protect his eyes. "It's us, the big bad wolves. We

might be blind wolves, though, if you flash us a little while longer..." He cracked up about his own lame joke which earned him an elbow in the rips by Embry. "Ouch."

"Hey, Bella, remember us?" both exclaimed once more in unison.

"Quil? Embry?" Bella asked, narrowing her eyes. She acknowledged the two men before her, but they looked a little bit different - bigger than she remembered. Plus they gained even more muscle mass over the last years. They looked quite handsome, too, she admitted to herself. That made her think of Jake again, and she felt another painful stab in her chest. She stood up, a little wobbly on her feet. "I'm so sorry," she said with a worried expression on her face. "I know... Tribal property and all... I shouldn't be down on Reservation land at this time... I kinda just ended up here..."

Her voice had a slight slur.

"It's okay. In case someone complains, we invited you," Embry stated and gave her the once-over. "You look different," he said appreciating and smiled broadly. "You look niiice."

"Yup, quite the woman," Quil joined in. "So, how have you been? Did you finally get rid of your bloodsucker huh? Must have gotten tired of those frostbites and freezer burns on, you know... those fine... delicate parts, huh?" He cackled again.

"Haha, you are so hilarious, Quil, Bella said dryly, feeling somewhat embarrassed. With that she gulped down the rest of her second beer.

"Why are you hiding out down here anyway?" Embry asked, pointing at the empty beach. "It's too cold for you to be here all on your own." He looked at her with concerned eyes.

"I'm perfectly fine. Thank you for asking... And I am not hiding out, I just..." What could she tell them without revealing how shitty she was feeling? "I just wanted a little private party, if you don't mind," Bella blurted out, deciding she wouldn't let them intimidate her.

"Is that so? And what exactly are you drinking?" Quil wanted to know.

"Some beer, but... sorry... no more left for you, guys," she said and tossed the empty can behind her shoulders. Her head felt a lot lighter than before. It actually was a nice feeling and exactly what she'd been hoping for.

Embry and Quil checked her out from top to bottom and looked at each other with satisfied grins. "Bella, do you mind if we keep you company for a while?" Quil asked. "We have a real fine bottle right here," Quil said while exposing his Jack Daniels.

"Aren't you too young to even buy that legally?" Bella mocked.

Embry snorted. "Bella, look at us, come on."

"Bet you can't handle it though," Quil dared.

Bella bit the insides of her cheek, eyed the guys and eyed the bottle. The offer was tempting. She needed a little more alcohol to numb that ache in her heart. "This will be perfect, guys. Have a seat," she invited them.

Quil and Embry sat down next to her, one at her left side, and one at her right side. With the two hunky Quileute settled on either left and right of her, Bella felt a lot warmer suddenly. She hadn't realized that she had been cold at all.

Quil opened the bottle and held it out for Bella.

"Sorry, lady. No glasses," Embry said with a smirk and winked at her.

"I don't care!" Bella exclaimed, while accepting the bottle from Quil. She sniffed the content and made a face, but then closed her eyes and took a big sip. The liquid burned its way down her throat, making her gasp and cough. _Good, at least this stuff might burn her heart right out of her chest._

"Hey, hey," Quil hollered. "Leave some for us."

Embry slapped her on her back and asked with concern, "Are you alright?"

Bella's head started to spin a little and she felt like talking all of a sudden. "So, guys, tell me what's new down here in La Push," Bella dared to ask. She took one more drink, handing the bottle back to Quil, feeling giggles coming up within her chest. "This stuff is not half bad."

Ignoring her question, Quil winked at her. "Man, Bella, I really like you much better now since you left those fucking leeches. Finally saw the light of day, huh?" he went on.

Embry exclaimed while chocking down a huge gulp. "You smell so much better, too."

Now, Bella busted out laughing hard. Quil and Embry could not help but joining in.

~*~o~*~o~*~

Yes, it was time they talked this out. Jacob was determined not let her walk away from him again. "And if I have to hold her down… I swear I will," he grumbled. As he slowly walked to his truck, he tried to think of how he should start this conversation. He knew this would be very difficult for both of them.

He sniffed the air. It was a cold, clear night, and he could just imagine how she might be rolled up in her think blanket, watching one of her beloved old movies or reading her books. She always loved to read.

What had happened to them? Maybe if he had handled a couple of things differently, things would have turned out to his favor... Had he pushed her too hard? Or maybe he should have pushed her harder? She was so damn stubborn, it still enraged him. His thoughts once again traveled back to a time where he still had the hope he would be able to convince her that he was better for her than this fucking leech.

"No!" He stopped himself. These days were long gone. He had responsibilities now. But he needed to talk to her and he really wanted to see her.

Jacob jerked the key into the ignition and slowly rolled down his driveway. He didn't know what she expected him to do anyway._Hell,_ he felt sort of _insecure_, which was really a rare situation for him nowadays. _She_ still knew how to make him feel inadequate.

He had never loved someone as much as he loved _her. She_ had always been his weakness; he would have done anything and everything for her.

Jacob clenched his teeth and gripped the wheel so hard, his knuckles turned white. IF she really was feeling something for him, she would have contacted him and not avoid him like the plague, right? He was pitching his hopes too high all over again. _God dammit!_ He wanted answers from her. If nothing else, he deserved closure. Maybe at least he finally would be able to sleep through the one single night without _her_ haunting his dreams.

He knew it was pointless. No matter what he did or whom he was with, it always came back to this one small girl, who held his heart hostage. She was ingrained in his heart and soul so deeply and so permanently. It was fucking unbelievable.

_Fuck it!_

"Face it, Black. You're still in love with Bella and you always will be." He wiped his eyes with the back of his hands, feeling utterly disgusted with himself.

Jake drove the familiar road into Forks, taking his time, feeling the same old pain in his chest.

As he got closer to Charlie's house, he parked his car down the road and walked the rest of the way. For some reason, he didn't want to be caught by Charlie, nor did he feel like answering any of his questions. He was lucky, though. Charlie's cruiser was gone, which was a good sign that Charlie was either at the station or at Sue's.

Jacob could hear no sounds coming from inside. There was no light on either, and the window to her room was closed. Was she sleeping already? "Well too damn bad, there is only one way to find out...and I am going to find out," he murmured and with that, he lithely climbed up the tree to her window. "Like freaking old times." He grinned sarcastically.

"Bella," he called out quietly, and rapped at her window pane. "Bella, open up." Nothing but silence. He peered through the window, hoping to catch a glimpse. He found her room empty. Where was she? Did she fall asleep on the sofa?

Jacob climbed back down, now peering through the front window. He could directly look into the Swan's living room. It was empty as well. "Fuck," he cursed. "I missed her." As he walked back to his truck debating what he should do now. "Go figure, she just knows how to ruin everything anyway," he thought sadly. He decided to drive back home, sleep a couple of hours and come back, bright and early in the morning. He wasn't about to let her slip away again, he was determined to talk this out, once and for all.

~*~o~*~o~*~

"I never thought you were the funny type, Swan," Quil said and leaned a little bit closer. His hand suddenly was on her knee.

"Hey, no funny business, Quil!" Bella called out and slapped his hand away. "You better be careful. I know how to defend myself!" Her voice slurred even more and the alcohol made her feel really brave and a lot stronger, too.

"Oh, really. I'd like to see you try," Quil responded. His voice dropped a notch and his hand inched a little higher on her thigh. He stuck his nose in her neck and sniffed at her.

Bella laughed again. _God, she was so tipsy_.

"Take your hands off her, Ateara." Embry eyed his friend with concern. He wasn't sure if Bella really wanted Quil that close, but he was damn sure that Jake would be fucking pissed, if he knew Quil was hitting on Bella Swan.

Quil ignored Embry and only laughed, when Bella shoved against his chest and tried to push him away. "So... Swan... What's that with defending yourself?"

Bella lifted her finger, calling for Quil's attention. "Let me show you!" she said. "Get up!" She rose, almost losing her balance, but caught herself before she could fall. "Grab me," she challenged Quil while shrugging out of her thick parka and gloves.

Quil didn't wait long and put his hands on her shoulders.

With a quick motion, Bella brought her arms up and pushed his hands off her shoulders. Quil was much quicker though, and his hands closed around her wrists in an instant. He spun her around, pressing her back against his chest. "Gotcha," he growled into her ear. Now that was a game a wolf really enjoyed.

Pressed against his broad chest, Bella tried to fight him off, but it was a huge difference in fighting a werewolf than in fighting her self-defense instructor. Quil held her in place so effortless, and she felt the influence of the alcohol in her head. It also slowed down her thinking and her reflexes to a minimum. Giving up wasn't in Bella's book, though. After all, she had taken those self-defense lessons for a reason...

In the next moment, Bella stomped down onto Quil's foot as hard as she could. He yelled out more in surprise than pain, but Bella used the moment to her advantage nevertheless. She slipped a leg between his legs, hooking her foot around his ankle, and let herself fall into him. Trying to catch her, he loosened his grip, and again Bella took him by surprise. She ripped her arms free and rammed her elbow into his stomach. _Ouch, that hurt!_

Quil let go with a shout and jumped back, staring at her in disbelief. "Damn, girl. That was hot!" He grunted and rubbed his stomach.

"I warned you..." Bella said laughing. She bobbed and weaved before him, but suddenly was stopped by a solid, warm wall. She twirled around her axis, squeaking and jumping in surprise, when she saw the large outline of a tall man looming over her. It scared the crap out of her.

Still in defense mode, her knee went up out of reflex, aiming for the man's groin, but before she was able to make contact, a hand reached out. A huge hand. A familiar hand. It closed around her knee with a firm grip. "Don't you dare," a deep, husky voice said. A voice she hadn't heard for so long and that she had missed so much.

Bella squeaked again, helplessly hopping on her other leg, trying to keep her balance. Being drunk made that really, really difficult. She knew she was going to embarrass herself big time now.

She looked up in surrender, finally meeting the eyes she had been dreaming of for so long. "Jake!"

Everything around her faded into the background, the sound of the waves, the howling laughter of Quil and Embry, even the sound of her frantically beating heart. Then he released his grip on her knee. With an awkward 'uff' she fell and landed on her ass, still staring up into those black annoyed eyes.

"What the FUCK is going on here?" Jacob shouted at his friends. "What the fuck are you doing down here?"

Quil and Embry fell into a new fit of laughter as they looked at one pissed off Jacob Black. "Bella was trying to teach us a lesson," Embry choked out, howling with laughter, wiping tears off his face.

"Man, she almost kicked you in the nuts, Jake," Quil bellowed, pointing at Bella, who was still sprawled out in the sand from her fall.

"Let me ask you for one last time," Jacob growled, which made Quil and Embry shut up and freeze. Suddenly, they looked really uncomfortable under their Alpha's gaze. Jacob asked again, "What is going on here?"

Before Quil and Embry could come up with a declaration, she decided to step in and exclaimed, rising her chin stubbornly, "I asked them to join me if you don't mind."

"And what the hell are you doing down here this late, Bella?" Jacob angrily stared at her.

"I needed to get away, okay?" Bella said defensively and got up awkwardly. "Is that so hard to understand after what I found out today? What I... what I had to witness today?" Her voice became much lower as she remembered the reasons why she came here. "I thought today seems to be a perfect time to have a little party," she slurred out a little, feeling the effect of the alcohol more clearly now.

"A party?" Jacob's gaze moved from her to Quil and Embry to the empty cans of beer and finally to the half-empty bottle of whiskey. "Unbelievable," Jacob exclaimed irritated. "And what might you be celebrating?"

"I thought I could be congratulating you." Her voice didn't sound like her own anymore. She was totally overwhelmed with the situation, and the pain in her chest almost choked her.

"Oh, shit..." either Quil or Embry whispered, but Bella ignored it.

She turned around and walked over to where the bottle was standing, lifting it to her lips. "Here's to you. May you live a long and have a happy life." She tried to take a sip, but Jake very quickly took the bottle away from her. She looked at him totally stunned. "What the hell, Jake," she called out. _Dammit, she needed to forget and make the pain go away._

"No more, Bella," Jacob growled, looking deep into her eyes. "You stay right there. We need to talk."

"Leave us alone," Jake said in a deep, frightening voice towards his friends, all the while never taking his eyes off Bella. "And take that shit with you!"

Quil and Embry took off in a hurry, but not before collecting the empty beer cans and the whisky bottle. They better got out of here quickly, since their Alpha was pissed. No wolf wanted to be near him when he was like _that._ All the fun was gone now anyway, and it was about damn time that Jacob

got his chance to say his mind to the little leech lover.

Bella shivered, and her heart skipped a few beats. The blood pounded in her ears. _Crap!_ Why did she come here? Could a situation be more embarrassing? Anxiously, she shifted from one foot to the other, wishing for the ground to just open and swallow her.

"You need to get out of the cold. In case you didn't notice, you're hypodermic." Jacob stepped closer to her, worriedly inspecting her. "My house is right up there," he said, nodding towards the dark outline of a house sitting atop a little hill.

Bella gasped. "You mean we were practically in your back-yard the whole time?" How much more could she possibly embarrass herself today? _Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._ She internally berated herself and started to retreat while holding her hands out in front of her. _As if that could hold him back anyway._

"No way I'm letting you leave right now, Bella. So don't even try," he said while towering over her. "You're in no condition to drive a car," he said sternly. "Come on." He picked up her parka from the ground. In a caring gesture, he shook the sand out and held it out for her to slip in. "Where's your truck?"

"Somewhere... down there," she murmured and slipped in her parka, her entire body shaking now. Only part of it was due to the cold.

Jacob followed her gaze and discovered her truck parked at the roadside right under a 'No Parking' sign. He rolled his eyes, and wordlessly handed her the gloves. Then he took her tiny hand firmly into his huge hand and dragged her into the opposite direction from her truck, up the path that led to his house.

His heat instantly crept up from their connected hands through her body. She hadn't recognized how much she was freezing. The heat settled in her stomach. The butterflies coming with it, almost brought her down to her knees. This simple gesture was what she was longing for and had missed so much. It also felt a little strange too after so long.

They walked silently for a while, until she noticed they were indeed walking toward his house. She tugged on his arm, trying to stop him to advance any further. "We can't...we can't... go to your house... I... I don't want to interrupt your... your..." Bella said panicking.

"You're my friend and my friends are always welcome at my home," Jacob replied in a reserved voice.

"Your friend?" Bella echoed, her voice barely more than a whisper.

"Yes," Jacob confirmed, pulling her firmly forward.

~*~o~*~o~*~

It didn't take them long to reach his house. As he fumbled around with his keys he realized he was still irritated. He'd gone down to Forks to see her and she'd been here, in front of his door step, all the fucking time, getting drunk?

Seeing Bella so distraught, he wondered if he should start this conversation by telling her that he and Leah were not in any kind of relationship, never really were. Ever since the day Leah told him about her pregnancy he hadn't touched her anymore, he simply couldn't. Leah also re-kindled her relationship with Sam, ever since she went into heat. He would, however, always care for her and his son. If Bella could accept Yuma, nothing would stand in the way-

NO! He wouldn't be so stupid again and hand her his heart on a silver platter, just because he couldn't stand to see her sad. As long as he didn't know everything about her, he wouldn't tell her anything about him.

Bella reached out and touched his arm. "What if Leah comes home?" she asked. Her voice was shaking and she looked as if she would rather elsewhere than here.

Jacob shrugged. "Don't worry." His voice was gruff. He unlocked the front door, miffed about her reluctance, and invited her in. She looked so nervous, biting her lower lip, when she fiddled with the zipper of her parka, never taking his eyes off him. He reached out, taking the parka she handed to him, and hung it up.

He noticed that she didn't stop watching him. In fact, he could almost _feel_ her eyes raking over his body. She was admiring him... and that was really intriguing to say the least. _Focus!_ He needed to focus on the task that lay before him. Before he'd go even one step farther, let alone let her know anything about _his_ life, they were going to talk about _hers_. She owed him some damn answers - not the other way around.

He walked into the living room, quickly removing the remote control and a worn shirt from his sofa. "Sit," he said, pointing to his worn-out leather sofa.

Bella raised an eyebrow. At Billy's, she'd simply have kicked her boots off and be done with it, but here? She felt so insecure; in fact she shouldn't be here... Not knowing what to do, she left her shoes on and followed Jake into his home, sitting down on his sofa like he told her to do. Her eyes anxiously flitted through the room, taking everything in. She nervously wrung her hands in her lap and shifted her booted feet. Her brain was a mess. How was she going to begin this conversation they needed to have?

Jacob watched her closely, sensing her discomfort very clearly. Nevertheless, it felt nice having her here... _in his territory._ He knew she would recognize Yuma's blanket on the table and the photo on the wall that portrayed him holding his naked son in his arms. A classic 'proud daddy' picture, a little cheesy maybe...

He cleared his throat, pulling her attention back to him. She'd have to deal with it. "I am going to get you some strong coffee," he told her. He wanted to make sure the alcohol she had consumed didn't affect her senses too much, and he wanted her to feel comfortable around him. Talking would be much easier then.

"Yes, sure," she answered and ran her hands through her hair.

Jacob went into the kitchen. He felt tense, couldn't deny he was a little anxious, too. He rolled his shoulders and kicked his boots from his feet.

Then he poured water into the coffee maker. "Bella, tell me-" he started, but was cut off when he felt her in his close proximity. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. Her strawberry scent, a little spicy now from the Jack Daniels she consumed, filled his every pore.

Jacob turned around and there she was, again looking at him like _that,_ standing in his kitchen, leaning against his counter, running her fingers over the rim of the coffee cup he'd used this morning... He was hard in an instant. Jacob shook his head, again reminding himself to stay focused.

Her eyes were hooded, her cheeks flushed. Her face looked so different, but yet so familiar at the same time. She had filled out so nicely. _God_, he wanted to explore those sexy curves that were hidden under her clothes. She was more beautiful than ever, but he also noticed that she didn't look as if life had been that easy for her. There was this constant sad shimmer in her eyes. He wanted to know about her, about her life. What had happened to her? Why did she break up with the bloodsucker and why the hell hadn't she told him?

Only the bubbling sounds of the coffee maker filled the kitchen as they looked at each other, not knowing how to begin. Bella nervously chewed on her lower lip, watching Jake impatiently tap his fingers on the counter. Finally, the coffee was ready and Jacob filled two mugs with the hot, black liquid, handing her a mug and taking one for himself.

Slowly, she sipped, loving the feel of the coffee running down her throat. The coffee had the sobering effect on Bella that Jacob wanted, but it also cleared up her head enough to be aware of the inappropriate situation she was in. She didn't belong here. It was his home. The home he most likely shared with Leah and his son. She had seen the pictures on his wall, seen the stack of diapers on a chest, and there were clothes of Leah hanging over that chair opposite her. She recognized it all, and it hurt. If she had made the right decision two and a half years ago, maybe she would be living her with him and the baby would be hers...

It wasn't wise to come here, but it was a little late for that right now. She had to live with the consequences.

Bella swallowed down her rising tears. At least, Jacob still considered her his friend, which was already more than she was hoping for. She needed to be ready for their talk to start. But she could not stop looking at him and wishing they had a real chance with each other. She felt so drawn to him; his presence fogged her mind completely. He made her feel so much right now and her heart felt so heavy.

But there was something else too, she wanted him, she wanted to touch him and be touched in all the places she had dreamt of him touching her. She felt heat rising up to her head and way down to her core; she was burning with need for him. How could she want him so badly right now?

He was not hers... She could not stop... He was not hers... She did not care. Her body's reaction to him stunned her and she was going to let go, for once in her life she wanted to let it all go. Did he feel her inner turmoil? Did he notice her desire for him?

Jacob watched her every move as she drank her coffee in steady sips. He wanted her sober. He needed her to be fully aware of this conversation they were going to have.

His wolf growled excitedly when she tipped her head back to drown the rest of her coffee, exposing her slender neck to him. Her eyes were closed, a raspy noise escaped her throat, and Jacob couldn't stop himself from stepping closer to her.

He set his mug down the same moment she put hers down. Her breath caught in her throat as she found him standing only inches away from her.

Jacob noticed how her breath became shallow and how her heart rate picked up.

"Jake," she whispered and her tongue slipped out, wetting her lips.

He groaned out loud. _Fuck!_ She was so tempting... Answers... the talk... It must wait. He would insist on answers later. He had waited all of his life - or so it seemed - to see her look at him like _that._ He wasn't going to let this go.

"I missed you so much," she breathed, biting her lip, and suddenly her arms were around his waist and she pressed herself against his body.

He knew that she felt his heart beating frantically, matching her own now. Her face was buried in his chest, and he noticed she was breathing in his scent, like her life was depending on it. _God, yeah. Breathe me in, Bells._

He was shaking slightly from the emotions flooding through his entire system. She felt so perfect; he never wanted to let her go again. He always knew that she belonged right there.

Time simply stood completely still. There was only them; right here and right now; nothing else even mattered in that moment. All the love and all the longing for each other completely took over them both.

She felt his strong arms come around her, first very slowly and then he embraced her fiercely, almost crushing her in his hug. She closed her eyes and wished they never had to move for the rest of their lives. This felt so right, this felt like where she belonged all along.

His scent was overwhelming, warm and earthy, making her dizzy with desire. _Did he always smell that good?_ Slowly Bella raised her head looking at him with pleading eyes. "Jake," she whispered. She wanted him to kiss her. Hell, she wanted to kiss him, wanted to know what he tasted like. _Would he taste as good as he smelled?_

Bella let her instincts take over. She had been holding back for so long. She simply wanted to let herself just feel. She wanted to know what it was like to be touched in all the places she had never been touched before, and she was wanted to be touched by Jake.

Opening her eyes, Bella studied his features and gasped at what she saw. His eyes were deep black and on fire. His gaze was fierce and intense, igniting sparks, which shot right through her body like lightening spears, only to race down to the pit of her stomach, and finally settling at her core, burning with need for him. A need so strong, she never knew it could be possible.

He was captured by her eyes. He felt something was different. Bella melted into him just like he had been dreaming of for the last several years. His eyes drank in her entire face, his eyes finally halting at her full lips.

He wasn't going to think about the heartache she'd caused him. There was nothing in this whole fucking world that could stop him now from kissing her. Lowering his face down to hers, he saw such desire in her eyes, it made him forget any reason.

He had dreamt of her so often, only to wake up to the same pain in his heart. How many fucking times had he been afraid to lose his mind over her? Too many times to count. The dream always the same, she was yelling his name while he was pounding himself into her, only to wake up panting, sweating, and ejaculating into his sheets. He had had enough.

Jacob crushed his mouth to hers with fervor.

He was losing every reason he thought he possessed. He didn't care anymore. He simply must have her, and he would have her. She owed it to him. He knew they needed to talk, but what the fuck, that could wait.

Her lips opened compliantly, gasping at the pleasant feeling of his slick tongue as it entered her. He deepened the kiss even further, as if trying to swallow her up completely, as their tongues explored every corner, every bump, and every tooth in each other's mouth.

She arched into him, her arms wrapping around his shoulders, her hands clutching and gripping him tightly. Her body was no longer her own; it belonged to Jake. The fierce pull toward him left her surrendering her body and soul to him willingly. She did not know what came over her, but she wanted this...him more than life itself.

He started to caress her lower back, and then moved his hands up her arms and shoulders, leaving goose bumps in its wake. He needed to feel her flesh so badly; it bordered on desperation. Roughly and impatiently, Jacob pulled on her sweater. It had to go. Now!

Bella lifted her arms and he ripped the sweater off her, carelessly flinging it across the room. He pulled the straps of her bra down and opened the clasp with a flick of his fingers.

His eyes took her in and his mouth felt suddenly dry. She was so beautiful. Her breasts were perfect; her rosy nipples hardening right before his eyes. He cupped his hand over her firm breast gently, exploring the feel of it. He teased her hard nipple, enjoying the sweet sound escaping her throat.

Like a starving man, Jacob wrapped his arms around her once again, holding on to her in fierce need. Then his hands started to wander. He had to touch her, the need to feel her skin was overwhelming.

He explored the dip of her waist and the soft rounding of her belly. His dreams did not even come close to this - so sweet and so soft, and God he was mesmerized the way his dark hands looked on her fair skin.

Leaning down, he let his lips linger over her mouth, a second only, but it was long enough for her to look up at him pleadingly. He licked over her lips, then trailed little pecks along her chin until he reached the side of her neck, kissing the delicate skin where her pulse was beating so fast... so very fast. He lingered there for a moment, marveling over the delirious taste of her skin, before moving his lips up again, kissing and licking her neck, making his way up to her collar bone, never stopping his tender kisses and small bites.

With every flick and lick, her scent got stronger, disclosing her arousal, that was saturating the air. He could get high on her scent alone, and her erratic breathing took him to the edge of any reason.

"Bells," he growled. "I need you so much!"

**A/N: Oppps, did we just stop right here?...so sorry! Thank you for reading, we do truly appreciate you guys and we hope that you have enjoyed this chapter. **


	10. Hostage of Love - Skin

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**A/N:** **We hope you will truly enjoy reading this chapter just as much as we have writing it:-) **

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**Chapter Betas: JUL5857 and SueMe**

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**_Hostage of Love_**

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**Chapter 9**

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**_Skin_**

**_. _**

_No teasin,_

_You waited long enough._

_Go deep,_

_Imma throw it at ya,_

_Can't catch it._

_Don't hold back,_

_You know I like it rough._

_Know I'm feelin ya, huh._

_Know you liking it, huh._

_ ._

_So why you standing over there with ya clothes on,_

_Baby strip down for me,_

_Go on take em off._

_Don't worry baby,_

_Imma meet you half way,_

_Cause I know you wanna see me._

_._

_Rihanna: Skin_

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_Like a starving man, Jacob wrapped his arms around her once again, holding on to her in fierce need. Then his hands started to wander. He had to touch her, the need to feel her skin was overwhelming._

_He explored the dip of her waist and her smooth belly. His dreams did not even come close to this - so sweet and so soft, and God he was mesmerized the way his dark hands looked on her fair skin._

_Leaning down, he let his lips linger over her mouth, a second only, but it was long enough for her to look up at him pleadingly. He licked over her lips, then trailed little pecks along her chin until he reached the side of her neck, kissing the delicate skin where her pulse was beating so fast... so very fast. He lingered there for a moment, marveling over the delirious taste of her skin, before moving his lips up again, kissing and licking her neck, making his way up to her collar bone, never stopping his tender kisses and small bites._

_With every flick and lick, her scent got stronger, disclosing her arousal that was saturating the air. He could get high on her scent alone, and her erratic breathing took him to the edge of any reason._

_"Bells," he growled. "I need you so much!"_

_ ._

~~oOo~~

.  
His hands cupped her breasts, squeezing the soft flesh. His thumbs stroked over her nipples, which hardened under his touch. Bending down, his mouth found her breast, and then he licked and tugged on her hard peak, before closing his lips around it and sucking.

Bella gasped, whimpered, and then her hands were in his hair, grabbing it, trying to pull him closer yet. "Need you too, Jake." She wrapped one leg around his thigh and scooted closer, rubbing her center against him, in one bold move. The force of her own reaction shook her to the core, and for the life of her, she couldn't bring herself to stop. She wanted more.

A low guttural groan escaped him and he bucked into her in response. He, too, needed more, so much, much more. It took him every ounce of strength to not just throw her on the floor and fuck her senseless, but he didn't want a quick fuck. He planned on taking her slow and hard. He wanted to take his time with her and enjoy every single second of it. Waiting for this to happen for years now, he hadn't imagined it would be possible to fulfill those dreams.

Bella had to admit that the alcohol she consumed earlier had relaxed her inhibitions enough to finally allow her the confidence to touch him, and be touched. She also knew she was far from drunk. The strong black coffee Jacob made her drink had sobered her up completely, but she still felt at ease and was determined to let herself feel really feel for once. She had been dreaming of it for far too long.

This was what she wanted. Anything else simply didn't matter any longer in this very precious moment. She wasn't going to waste a chance like this, ever again.

She wanted this; she wanted him more than anything, no matter the consequences. If she could have Jacob only one single time and give herself fully to him, it would be worth it. She could always hold on to this one time for the rest of her life. She had waited for far too long.

"I want you, Bella," he whispered seductively, and he pressed his straining erection against her, eliciting another gasp from her. He needed to get her into his bed! Closing his hands around her thighs, he picked her off the floor with ease, groaning at the loss of friction against his groin.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and hooked her ankles behind his back, holding him as close as she could. Then she boldly kissed him. Her tongue, although a little shy at first, licked his lower lip, biting it softly, then circled around his tongue to only suck on it lightly, experimenting and exploring.

The sensations went straight to his cock. "Oh, yes!" He groaned again. "Just like that, baby." He pushed his tongue deep into her mouth, while walking them into his bedroom. He only had one thought left anymore. _Take her. Take her. Take her._

He walked over to his bed, switched on his bedside lamp and slowly set her on her feet. For a second, he simply looked at her, knowing that every emotion he felt for her was showing through his eyes. He didn't care. He wanted to have this with her. It just felt so right. He was so lost in her. All over again.

The tender moment waned as her tiny hands moved up his shirt, tugging at it, telling him she wanted it off. Tenderness pushed aside as strong sexual attraction took over. She wanted to see him and feel his naked skin under her fingertips. Damn, she wanted to lick him and taste him too. Her eyes glazed over, she swayed a bit, and a gush of moisture dampened her panties.

Jacob inhaled. And growled. He looked at her flushed face, her hooded eyes, and her opened lips. He growled again. Reaching behind him, he grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled it off, dropping it to the ground. "Touch me. I can see that you want to," he said and then demanded with burning need, "I need to feel your hands on me."

Bella didn't hesitate. She lifted her hands, sliding them over his thick arms, marveling over his strength and size. His insane body temperature made his skin burn and covered his russet brown skin with small glistening beads. She pressed a kiss to his chest, then her tongue slipped out, and she licked him.

He groaned and shuddered. _Damn, ...so good!_

Encouraged by his response, she followed her urges and opened her mouth wider, kissing and licking all over his rock-hard chest and abdomen, all the while sliding her hands over his arms and shoulders.

Jake hissed and pressed his pulsing cock into her stomach. She pressed back against him and moaned. Her tongue flicked over his nipple. He groaned, heady from her scent and actions, and took her hand, guiding it down his chest, and down his stomach, getting even more turned on from her accelerating heartbeat and breathing. Sliding their hands past his waistband and inside of his jeans, he placed her hands over his straining cock, needing her to touch him where he ached so madly. He curled his fingers around hers and made her squeeze him.

The pleasure he felt was indescribable, but it didn't ease his pain. It only added more fuel to his fire. He moaned deeply. "Aw, this feels so damn good, honey. Yeah, squeeze hard for me," he requested before taking her mouth again.

She took her hand out and, without hesitation, she opened the buttons of his jeans. His hand never left hers, making the act of unbuttoning strangely intimate and all the more arousing. When all the buttons were open, she trailed her fingertips along the waistband, her nails lightly scraping the sensitive skin.

His breath caught in his throat, his knees almost buckled. "Fuck, Bells," he cursed huskily, and stepped back, impatiently yanking his jeans off.

Her eyes opened wide in shock and wonder as he stood before her in all his naked glory. He really was beautiful, nothing sort of, but simply and utterly beautiful. His chiseled chest moved under his breaths, expanding whenever he inhaled. She let her gaze wander down to his abs, sharply outlined under smooth, russet skin. Then there was this "V" leading from his hipbones straight down to... _OH!_

A soft moan escaped her lips - she had never imagined a man could be _that_ large and thick. She reached out tentatively, not able to stop herself from touching his glorious manhood. She simply needed to know what he would feel like. In a bold action, she closed her hand around him, finding silky skin, slightly darker than the rest of him. Underneath his skin he was hard, iron-hard, and burning hot. A thick vein lead around his cock, pulsating to the rhythm of his heart. She could feel him throbbing; and she moved her hand instinctively, up and down, pressing and releasing. How could he feel so soft and hard at the same time? She was totally in awe of his body.

"Fuck," Jacob swore again, throwing his head back. He snatched her hand to pull it away. If she kept on going like that he was going to cum and he didn't want that to happen just yet. "Wait, baby," he announced in a raspy voice. "Please let me... taste you, Bella. ...touch you..."

She nodded her consent in a lusty daze.

He got down on his knees, kissing her exposed stomach, tasting her delicate skin, placing small kisses everywhere. His hands moved up her thighs, squeezing her butt, and then trailed up her ribs and caressed her breasts, reaching for her hard nipples, tweaking them lightly.

The heat of Jake's hands seemed to overtake her. Her body felt like it was on fire. The burning and aching in her stomach and at her center became almost unbearable. She was so wet, she was afraid she might soak through her pants. There was no logical thought left in her mind, she was beyond caring about anything else but Jake.

Jacob smelled her intoxicating scent and it nearly drove him mad as he inhaled deeply. Long past any reason, he unhooked the button of her pants, opened the zipper, and shoved her pants down to her feet in one fast motion. With a growl, he went straight between her thighs, causing her to yelp in surprise and pleasure.

The insides of her thighs were wet.

He groaned delighted, and his tongue licked the entire inside of her thigh, catching the fluids running out of her, as he kissed his way up to her swollen and throbbing center. "Hmmm, you taste so good," he whispered, his breath fanning over her heated core. His tongue flicked out again, caressing her folds, suckling, and licking, and nibbling.

Bella whimpered; her hands balled up to fists. Nobody but herself had ever touched these parts of her body before, and what Jake was doing to her was overwhelming. It felt so good. She grabbed his hair forcefully, trying to stay upright. It didn't take long and her body started jerking and shuddering under his attack.

Her insides clenched; the heat built up quickly, uncontrollable, and then her orgasm ripped through her with force. She cried out, and clung to him even harder.

"Yes, baby! That's it. Let it all out," he cooed and held her steady by the hips all the while his mouth coaxed even more pleasure out of her. "You have no idea how hot you are." He hummed against her skin, his fingers pressing into the flesh of her ass as he held her legs open for him. "Cum for me again, baby." The deep, vibrating growl of his voice shot straight through her core, causing her to climax once more.

Her hips bucked into his face while she grabbed strands of his hair to pull him closer. It still wasn't close enough. "Jake, please..."

Jacob looked up from between her legs with smoldering eyes. "I'm nowhere near done with you, Bella, don't worry," he stated and swooped her up in his arms. He placed her upon his bed and quickly unlaced her boots, pulled them off along with her jeans and panties, and lay down next to her.

"Kiss me, Jake," she pleaded, her chest heaving and her heart hammering against her ribs. She met him halfway. Her lips covered his, and she sucked his tongue into her mouth frantically, her own taste still lingering on his lips and tongue. She could smell and taste herself.

He needed to feel her so bad, he let his hot hands roam over her body, caress her pale skin, leaving a burning trail behind. He wanted to memorize every part of her body.

She arched into his touch, her breasts seemed to swell under his caress, her hips bucked against his thigh. She looked so fucking beautiful. Her skin was flushed from her face down to her chest and legs; her lips were slightly parted, inviting him in.

_Take her. Claim her._ His wolf grew restless, impatient, but Jacob wanted to take his time with her. He moved his hand between her thighs, opening them enough so he had access to her wet heat.

Her hips rocked against his hand as his fingers slipped through her slick folds with ease. He pressed down on the little nub under the tip of his middle finger. She was so wet for him.

He dipped his finger into her, soaking it with her juices. Slowly, he brought his finger back up to her mouth, brushing it over her lips.

She opened her lips, and her tongue snaked out to lick around his finger. She sucked it into her mouth then and groaned when she could taste herself.

"Oh fuck, yes," he whispered huskily. Her moan caused his cock to get harder yet. He needed to be inside her. And soon.

Her eyes rolled back in her head when he moved his finger in and out between her lips. When she released his finger, he let it trail down between her breasts, circling her navel, slipping back between her legs, parting her wet folds again.

The moment he entered her with his finger, Bella cried out in pleasure. "Ah! Jake..."

"You like that, honey?" he asked, pushing his finger into her slowly, while continuously pressing against her mound.

She panted, and groaned, and shuddered. "Oh God, yes..." It almost came out as a sob.

He was barely in her hot little pussy, but he could feel her tense around him; she grabbed him so hard with her muscles, he could hardly hold himself together. He wanted to put his cock inside her, needed her to milk it for what it was worth. "So tight, Bells..." he groaned, and inserted a second finger, planning on going in deep this time. He needed to prepare her, go in all the way and stretch her a little for him. _So soft and wet and tight._

She gasped again and stiffened, trying to press her thighs together. "Oh. Wait."

He looked at her worriedly, keeping his fingers perfectly still. "Did I hurt you?" he asked, all the while wondering what he could have done wrong.

"I... I..." she stuttered and blushed, refusing to look at him.

He brushed his fingers over her glistening mound. She arched into him at once, but when he dipped deeper, she tried to close her legs on him again, looking a little bit... uncomfortable...? _Could it be that...? No. Fucking. Way?!_

He drew in a surprised breath. That was when he noticed the scent of fresh blood. He retracted his fingers and noticed some blood on the tip of his finger. _How the fuck was that possible?_ "Bells," he said and put his hand under her chin, gently lifting her face. "You've never done this before, have you?"

"N... No," she whispered. "I haven't, Jake."

"So, that leech never touched you? Or anybody else, all this time?" Jake asked her bewildered. His worst nightmare, his biggest fear, his horror of Bella dying while giving herself to her disgusting bloodsucker husband, suddenly disappeared.

"But how... I thought you would..." He propped up on his elbow, running the other hand through his hair. "Why, Bella?"

"Things suddenly were different..." she said in a very low voice. If it wasn't for his wolf hearing, he might haven't heard her at all. "After the break-up... I had to figure out a lot of stuff... And then..." She squirmed a little, unintentionally brushing against his throbbing cock.

_Fuck..._ his eyes closed, and he shuddered, suppressing a groan. Then her finger traced the shell of his ear. His breath left him with a gush his head fell forward, resting in the crook of her neck. Her body moved against him; her leg wrapped around his waist, her heat and wetness so close to his dick. He groaned out. _Need her..._

He bucked his hips into her, trying to relieve some of the tension, but each thrust against her soft thigh only increased the pressure in his groin.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you. I only wanted you for so long now," she confessed.

It was the most beautiful thing he had heard in the longest time and he wanted her to repeat it over and over again. Lifting his head, he looked deep into her eyes. "Me?"

"You."

She sounded so sincere.

He couldn't stop himself from grinning wide. _He would be her first!_ "Bella, you make me feel so happy right now. I have no words," he said, his voice saturated with deep emotion.

He looked into her huge and trusting eyes. There was so much he needed to tell her. He wanted her to know how much he still loved her, how much his heart and soul still ached for her, and in how much pain he still was over her. He wanted to tell her that he still missed her every moment of each day.

He felt so tempted to tell her that he was in no relationship with Leah, that they only were very good friends. She was the mother of his son after all. _His son..._ He wanted to tell her about Yuma so badly.

He wanted her to know about his life; but dammit, he needed to know about her and her life first.

Why exactly did she come back? Was she here to stay? What did she really want from him?

Yuma depended on him. Jacob knew that he needed to protect his heart this time. He was not going to let Bella rip it apart anymore. No, not this time. She was going to answer to him first, he reminded himself, but not now.

He still had plans for her, and he needed to at least pretend that she loved him back. He could dream for a few hours, couldn't he?

Bella noticed his hesitation and she also noticed he was in deep thought. His eyes became so sad for the briefest moment, it pained her heart and reminded her yet again what she had done to him.

"Jake, I want you to make love to me", she pleaded. "Please..."

Her pleading tugged at his heart. He looked into her eyes, aching to kiss her, to be with her, to be inside of her. "Bella, are you really sure?" he asked, while he swelled even more. _Please, be sure._

"Yes," she answered with confidence.

In one smooth move, he was on top of her, took her face in his hands and kissed her. Sweetly. He lingered at her lips. "I'll be careful. I promise, honey." He lowered his mouth on hers, kissing her gently, softly, pouring all the love he still felt for her into it.

She breathed him in deeply and kissed him back with the same sweet longing, almost sobbing when he placed her hand over his pounding heart. The moment was so tender, she never wanted it to stop.

Bella moved in closer, wrapped her arms around him and held on to him as tight as she could. Her body wiggled against his erection. He emitted a guttural groan, and the kiss quickly turned heated again. Boldly, she moved her hand down, easily sliding over his stomach, slick with a sheer sheen of sweat, and took hold of him.

Jacob growled and bucked himself roughly into her hand. "I've wanted you for so long, Bells. I've dreamt of having you..."

His hands closed around her hips, and he turned on his back, pulling her on top of him. His erection poked against her thigh and when she leaned forward, she trapped it between them. She circled her hips, experimenting, exploring, and creating friction. The head of his cock slid through her slick folds, lubing him up with her juices.

His head fell back into the pillows; he bit down on his bottom lip. A growl rumbled in his chest as he watched her intently through half-lidded eyes.

Bella was overwhelmed by the beauty of his face and the magnificence of his body. She had imagined touching him for so long, and she couldn't ever compare reality with her dreams. This was so much better. He was beyond gorgeous and she wanted to explore much more.

She was so wet for him, so ready, she wanted to feel him deep inside her now. She wrapped both her hands around his stiff cock, curious what kind of reaction she could coax out of him when she twisted her hands like this-

Suddenly, she was again lying flat on her back.

Jacob hovered over her, holding his weight up on his arms, and stared at her in a predatory, possessive way. "Last chance, Bells," he growled into her ear, the tip of his tongue licking over the tender spot under her ear. "I'm gonna fuck you now." Her whole body covered in chill bumps in response to his announcement. He grabbed his cock, aligning it to her opening. "You want this...right?... all of me?"

Her heart beat wildly in her chest, heat and longing raced up and down her body. She had never been more sure about anything in her life. She looked up at him and nodded, opening her legs for him. "Oh, God, yes!"

"Hold on to me, honey," he murmured, while still aligned in front of her soft and wet opening and started to push forward, slowly and with care, his entire body shaking with anticipation.

A low moan of discomfort escaped her at the feel of him entering her, and she grabbed his forearms ever tighter. He was so big, and it hurt. She tried to accommodate and get used to being stretched. Slowly breathing in and out, she willed herself to relax around him.

"Are you okay?" he wanted to know and rubbed her thigh soothingly while trying to hold back. _Deeper._ He needed to go deeper. _Oh God. So hot … so tight._

Her eyes wide, her face flushed, Bella only nodded. She was anticipating him to push forward, to fill her more and more. She wanted him all the way inside of her. She wanted to be his.

Jacob pulled out and then rocked back into her, going a little bit deeper this time. His face had gotten still with concentration; he had to shut his eyes. "Bells, tell me right away if I hurt you, okay?" He was barely able to speak.

"Hmm…" was her only response. She felt him slide in, pull out and slide back in. He moved into her deeper each time. The pressure and burning in her core increased, but also the pleasure she started to feel. She felt filled to her maximum, but she wanted more. Instinctively, she knew that this wasn't all that he had to give. She knew he held back. She put her arms around him and brought her legs up to wrap them around his waist.

The new angle let him slide in more easily. He barely held on to his sanity. His instincts demanded that he pound into her with abandon. Her walls squeezed him so tight, he needed to move slowly, or else he wouldn't be able to control himself anymore. A little more... and more. He stopped when he felt resistance. "Bells... almost there... you okay still?"

"Jake, I'm good," she assured him and dug her heels into his firm butt. She wanted him deeper. She wanted all he had to give. "Just push through, Jake... Ahhhh... Make me yours," she moaned and tilted her pelvis to meet him halfway.

With that Jacob was done holding back. He thrust forward, pressing himself into her as deep as he could.

She cried out, clinging to his shoulders.

He pulled out a little, only to ram himself right back into her. He heard her hiss and saw her look up at him, smiling so proudly. Another thrust and her eyes rolled back. Slide out, thrust back in. She groaned and closed her eyes, her nails raking over his skin. Out. In. _Deeper. Deeper._

The sound of their bodies slapping together filled the room.

_God, she is so damn beautiful._

Her breathing became faster, he could feel and smell that she was back on the track. He increased his thrusts. "Oh, fuck! Bells, you are so wet. It's so good," he grunted and reached between her legs with his hand, circling her bundle of nerves, while keeping up his hard, fast pace.

Jacob felt her orgasm come on, her muscles contracting and squeezing around him. "Don't hold back, baby," he said hoarsely when he saw her bite down on her lip to rein her noises in. "I want to hear you scream my name."

His request was enough to push her over the edge. Her eyes snapped up and her mouth fell open in a perfect 'O' shape. She tensed, arched up, her entire body shuddered and twitched, and then came her high-pitched cry... _"Jacob!"_

"That's it. Cum for me. Cum all over my cock," he demanded, pressing down on her nub. He had dreamt about her screaming out for him so many fucking times. But this was much better than any of his dreams; they never even got close to what he was feeling right at this moment.

Jacob didn't let up. He kept stroking her as he kept pounding into her. He wouldn't let her come down from her high. He thought she might squeeze his cock right off, but it was so good, so fucking good. Her moans, and screams, and pleas filled his ears, triggering his own release.

"Bells," he called out, thrusting into her as deep as he could. Once, twice and then the heat raced up his groins and shot out of him. "Fuck, yes!" His head fell back, the muscles of his neck straining. "So... fucking... good, baby..." He pumped into her, moving her up on the bed with his powerful thrusts, emptying himself completely.

For a moment it was completely still, nothing to be heard than their erratic breathing.

Bella wiggled under him, laden down by his weight, letting him know he was squishing her.

He laughed and turned to the side, pulling her with him. "Sorry, Bells."

Her fingers played with a strand of his hair; she smiled up to him in pure bliss, unable to form any coherent words yet. "That was..." When she moved, she felt his cock in her, still large and rigid. Still sensitive, she moaned out and swiveled her hips.

Jacob groaned huskily. "Don't worry, honey. We are not done yet," he promised and bent down to kiss her on her mouth. His hand moved down her back and cupped her ass, pulling her into him roughly.

Her breath caught in her throat. She wanted him again. He already made her come not one time, not two, but four times, and still it was as if her desire wasn't even close to satisfied.

"That good, huh?" he asked, grinning at her mischievously.

Bella looped her arm around his neck and pressed her lips to his mouth. Her tongue snaked out and she licked over his full lips. "That good," she agreed. "Was it good for you, too?" she wanted to know in the sweetest tone.

"Indescribable, Bells."

Jacob rolled on his back, taking her with him, still buried inside her. One hand came to rest at the back of her head, holding her close to him, while the other hand wrapped around her middle. He kissed her, the heat between them flaring up in an instant.

Bella answered his kiss hungrily, clutching and gripping at him in a frenzy, moaning in protest when he pulled away.

"You are turning out to be insatiable, Bells," he said with a smirk. "But I am too. I want so much more of you, Bells. I'm going to make you cum again and again before this night is over," he promised, and laughed at her feint shocked expression before thrusting his tongue into her mouth again.

Jacob started pushing into her at a slow, steady pace. His hands wandered over her sides, arms and shoulders, rounded her breasts, caressed her thighs, and kneaded her behind, taking his sweet time with her. She braced her arms on his stomach, rock-hard muscles rippling under her palms, and slowly lifted herself up and down on him. He felt so good. Bella sighed and leaned forward, resting her forehead against his chest. "Jake..." she whispered, feeling her orgasm slowly build up.

"Bells..." He kissed her softly on top of her head and wrapped his arms tightly around her. Lifting his hips slightly, he pushed into her at another angle, repeatedly hitting an especially sensitive spot inside her.

Bella felt completely wrapped up in Jacob. Surrounded by his arms and his scent, and stimulated by his gentle thrusts, it didn't take her long and her orgasm moved through her, soft and gentle as their touches. She moaned his name, melting against him completely. Her thighs widened a bit more, and Jacob slid deeper, murmuring her name like a mantra.

With a last lift, he buried himself inside of her as deep as he could and then came, too.

"Jake, I... I..." Bella said into his chest, her voice slightly cracking with her overwhelming emotions.

"I know, Bells,... I know..." Jacob answered, cradling her head in his hands and pressing her tightly to his chest. "Tomorrow," he spoke softly, "...will be a big day for us. We have lots to talk about. It is time that you come clean with me, and I also need to share so much with you."

He noticed how her heart started to flutter nervously, and he was fast to calm her down. "Shh, Bells... We'll work things out. Somehow... I really need you in my life."

She nodded and closed her eyes, too worn out to keep them open anymore.

As she fell asleep in his arms, he felt content, but at the same time he was on edge. He couldn't explain to himself why that was. It was like that eerie quiet feeling before the 'big one' hits.

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~~oOo~~

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**A/N:** **Thanks for reading guys and we hope that this chapter will hold you guys over for uhmmm...a while!**

**Hugs, EyJ &amp; JB**


	11. Hostage of Love - Here Comes Goodbye

**Disclaimer:****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Chapter betas JUL5857 and SueMe.**

**CHAPTER WARNING: Extreme Angst and Drama. We would also like to remind all of you to have another read at our **Preface**, it is going to get lot worse before it can get better.**

**Thank you for reading.**

**Hostage of Love**

**Chapter 10**

**Here Comes Goodbye - Painful Decisions**

_If I could have just one wish,_

_I would wish to wake up everyday_

_to the sound of your breath on my neck,_

_the warmth of your lips on my cheek,_

_the touch of your fingers on my skin,_

_and the feel of your heart beating with mine..._

_Knowing that I could never find that feeling_

_with anyone other than you._

\- Courtney Kuchta –

Drifting in and out of sleep, he marveled at the woman lying next to him. She was so beautiful to look at in the pale moonlight. Her skin had a faint glow; her dark, tangled hair was splayed out all over the pillow, her breathing slow and deep with a faint smile around the corner of her mouth.

He would jerk awake whenever he fell asleep. He was anxious, that strange eerie feeling still looming over him, and there was a certain nervousness that Bella might simply disappear again if he allowed himself to fall into a deep sleep.

Her reaction to him had been intense. He had been right all along, they belonged together. They were made for each other. How could she ever deny that? He touched her cheek ever so lightly, wondering what she was going to tell him in the morning when they finally had their talk. He would try to listen with an open mind; he was going to do his darndest to put aside his hurt feelings and let her finish saying whatever she had to say.

As the nagging feeling in his stomach didn't go away, Jacob was tempted to simply wake her up, but then he thought to better let her sleep, he wanted her to get her well-deserved rest and have a clear mind in the morning. He had worked her hard after all, her body must be exhausted.

He placed a light kiss on her shoulder and aligned his body flush with hers. She pressed against him, seeking his warmth, murmuring his name in her sleep. "That's right baby, come closer," he softly whispered with a content smile on his face.

Wrapped around Bella, he closed his eyes again and allowed himself to at least drift into a slight slumber, but sleep really wouldn't come. Instead his thoughts travelled through the past couple of years.

There was a lot he was proud of, so much he had accomplished. After finishing high school, he took all his Real Estate Licensing Courses mainly online but also attended several in-class instructions, until he was ready to take the exam. He had passed his state exam and remembered how proud he felt about this accomplishment to become a licensed Real Estate Broker in the state of Washington. Sitting through hours upon hours of learning the real estate laws wasn't his strongest feat, but he kept in mind that this job would feed Yuma and Leah, too, if she would be willing to take his money. Now he was successfully working for Lunsford &amp; Associates Inc, a local real estate company.

He had only started working there a couple of months ago, but he had already closed his first few deals when Carlisle Cullen assigned his company to sell the Cullen mansion. His boss had assigned him as the Selling Agent and Jake took this account with pleasure. It took him less than 3 weeks to locate a buyer from Seattle. This young family would be living here on weekends and during the summer. The big fat commission he had received was a true pleasure in more than one way.

He was finally able to buy his truck, fully loaded and it fit him to a tee. In addition, he had put money aside for Yuma's 'college' fund. But the most pleasure he got out of the knowledge that the Cullens were gone for good. The party that followed the day when the owners of the new house signed the papers clearly was one to remember.

He also held down a part time job as a construction worker down at Makah and then, of course, there was his pack! He was working hard to be a good Alpha to them.

The months after Bella left without even contacting her parents had been hell, and he had driven his dad and his pack brothers nuts with his piss-poor attitude and violent temper. Every day seemed to be the same; he would not lighten up or let anyone get even remotely close to him.

Leah had been his savior, in more than one way. Without her he would have not lived through that one night, that fateful night, when Bells married the fucking leech. Leah had worked very hard to keep him sane ever since.

Their sexual relationship was gratifying for the both of them, but for outsiders it must have looked strange. They never really dated, never went to a restaurant for a dinner and never went to the movies. It wasn't what they wanted from each other.

He was able to express all of his frustrations; sexual or otherwise with Leah. She had welcomed it. She had welcomed all of it. His temper, his roughness, his screaming out for Bella when he came hard inside of her. Leah simply told him over and over again to let it all out.

In return, he'd been there for her when memories of Sam gave her a hard time. It had happened once in a while that she pretended to be with Sam when he fucked her. It was strange when she called out for Sam in the throes of passion, but... Oh well! It was mutual.

He had to smile a little now as he remembered one particular phrase, Leah had repeated often. "Fuck that leech lover out of your system already, Black." He had tried, oh he tried so hard. If only...

Jacob looked at 'his' sleeping Bells again and his heart swelled. He still felt so much love for this girl. "I will never let you go again," he swore under his breath. His wolf grunted in agreement.

Thinking back to Leah, he admitted that their 'booty calls' had worked for both of them while they lasted. He knew he would be in a very bad place right now if she had not encouraged him consistently to purge himself from all the anger and resentment he felt at the time. Yeah, I owe Leah so much, he thought again.

When Leah started to go into 'heat' his wolf went crazy for her. He had fucked Leah non-stop for several days and nights, even before Sam got his paws onto her.

Yuma could have been Sam's if Sam hadn't fought the urge to mate with Leah for so long. He had tried to stay away from the she-wolf, but in the end he simply couldn't ignore her "call" anymore. As a side effect of the encounter, once Sam had been with Leah, the imprint bond to Emily lessened, and for the remainder of that mating week, Jacob and Sam sort of shared Leah.

It always had been obvious to Jacob what was going on with both of them. Leah's eyes shone with love after Sam left her house. There was no point in her even trying to hide it.

Jake backed off and it was alright for him. He deeply cared about her well-being, but he was never in love with her. He knew that Sam and Leah belonged together and finally there was a real chance for both of them to make a life.

Emily left as soon as she found out what was going on. After all, nothing could really stay a secret within the pack. She didn't even try and put up a fight for Sam, saying she couldn't feel the imprint pull anymore, that she sort of fell out of love, and that she never wanted to take away Sam from her cousin in the first place. It was all to blame on the imprint 'magic'. Sam's wolf, on the other hand, didn't want to let her go that easily, but Sam - his human side - knew that he still loved Leah, that he still was in love with her. So with his wolf side and his human side battling for dominance, Sam had some struggles initially, until he finally was able to completely break his imprint to Emily.

When Leah found out that she was pregnant, she couldn't stop crying for days. At first, Jacob and Sam thought she was mad at them, but she simply was overwhelmed that she was able to get pregnant at all. She was so happy about the baby growing inside of her; it brought out a totally new side of her personality. Jacob and Sam watched her closely, and they could not believe how soft and sensitive she had become.

If there was ever any confusion about whether Sam or Jacob would be the father of Leah's unborn child, for Jacob there was never any doubt that Yuma was his son. He instinctively knew that he had impregnated Leah, he was absolutely sure that it had happened within the first couple of hours of their "mating". His wolf was stronger and more dominant than Sam's.

Jacob's cheeks flared up in embarrassment as he recalled those days, and he nuzzled his face into Bella's hair, inhaling her sweet, strawberry scent.

He remembered how he'd just not been quite his usual self - he had been more wolf than human. For his wolf, mating with Leah had been an imperative. He could not and would not even try to stop his urges. He was adamant that nothing and no one came between him and Leah's wolf. As awkward as it was for Jacob to admit that to himself… Sam didn't stand a chance, not when Jacob's wolf was involved.

Once Yuma was born, it was pretty obvious whose kid he was, because Yuma looked like his spitting image and everyone could see that he was Jacob's son alright. Of course, Jacob's father and the council had made a big deal out of Yuma's birth, knowing that Yuma being the rightful heir, their future Alpha and Chief. The celebrations went on for 7 days.

Jacob was so proud of his son, but he also simply looked at him just as his son, his beautiful son. It wasn't what neither Jacob nor Leah would ever want for their son, but neither could change anything about it. They had never truly embraced their shape shifter heritage themselves and now the Tribal Council looked at their son with the knowledge, hope and with pride that he is their next Alpha! For now, they let them be to simply raise their son.

Jacob let out a breath he'd been holding. _Why wouldn't that funny feeling in his stomach go away?_

Bella stirred and groggily reached behind, touching his face. "Jake?" Worry laced within her tired voice.

"Shhh, it's okay, honey. Sleep..." Jacob murmured, placing a gentle kiss on her temple.

Her breath evened out as soon as she heard his soothing voice, and soon she was back in a deep sleep. His mind left him with no peace, and his thoughts went back once more as he remembered how Sam and Leah were working on their relationship for almost a year now. Jacob remembered the times when Sam was in physical pain, but the love he felt for Leah was so much stronger, it made him pull through it and it was true love for both of them. Together they seemed to be going strong, and Jake was happy for both of them. He knew now how deep their love was for each other.

Then there was Yuma! His son. He never thought he would be capable to take care of him initially, either financially nor emotionally, but he fought so hard to provide for him. The day Yuma was born changed everything in his life. He had felt so much love for him in an instance. He would do whatever it takes to do right by him, he would always provide for whatever Yuma needed.

Jake knew that Sam loved Yuma as well, and he would be his step-father in a few months from now. He thought back on the several conversations he had with Sam, and they had reached a mutual understanding. Jake would always be Yuma's father, he would be teaching him what he needed to know to grow into a strong and good man but he also would respect Sam taking care of him as well. His son will be spoiled, and that was alright.

His thoughts traveled back to the beautiful girl in his arms. Why didn't she listen to him back then? When he told her Cullen wasn't the right choice? It would have saved both of them a lot of heartache, he thought with fervor. He loved her for so long now, and he uncertain as to how his life was supposed to continue now. He only knew that he would not be able to ever let her go again. Would she be able to accept Yuma as his son?

He finally fell into a restless sleep against all efforts to stay awake. He didn't hear the approaching car. Only when Leah opened the front door with a bang and stormed in, he woke with a startle. "Jake, are you there?" she called out, and he heard Yuma wail quietly.

"God, the whole house reeks like sex..." he heard her burst out and Jake sat up, a little dazed from his sleep.

Bella still slept soundly. She was very certainly exhausted. He didn't let her get too much sleep last night.

"Jake, get your ass out here! What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Leah hissed angrily, giving a short, sharp knock against the bedroom door.

Jacob got up hurriedly and slipped into a pair of boxers. "Stop screaming like a hell-cat," he said through the door. "What are you doing here this early in the morning anyway?" He glanced at his watch. It read only 5:10 am. _What the hell?_

He stepped out into the hallway, meeting an infuriated Leah. He glanced worriedly at Yuma, and noticed right away that he was not looking too happy. His face was red from wailing.

"Shit, Jake! I didn't think you'd be all over her ass AGAIN." Leah fumed with anger. Her voice echoed through the house at a pitch that hurt his ears. "Did you not learn anything at all yet? If I had known you'd..." The baby in her arms fussed and whimpered.

"Shut up, Leah" Jacob growled.

"The hell I'm not!" she snapped. "You sure have some nerves! You must need some more of her shit, is that it?" Leah was screaming now, holding the baby protectively to her chest. "Is that really it, Jacob Black?"

"Leah, just calm down. It's not what you think it is..." he explained in a low voice. "Here, let me hold Yuma. What is wrong with him? Does he not feel well?"

"I got him!" she sneered at him, her eyes shooting daggers. "It's not what I think it is? You think I'm stupid? I can smell what the hell it is!" Her eyes wandered over his body, the sneer never leaving her face. "Why don't you wash her stink off you before you touch Yuma?" she hissed. "We can't even stay in this house right now. It smells disgusting. Do you really think I will expose our son to your indiscretions?"

Jake sighed and cast his eyes toward the bedroom door. He heard Bella move in his bed, and silently prayed that she would just sleep through the argument he had with Leah.

Leah walked over to the door and, with concern laced in her voice, announced, "Yuma has not been feeling well all night. I'm taking him to the Clinic."

"I'm coming with you, Leah," Jake announced. He had promised Leah to be there for her and Yuma, and right now it seemed to be a moment where she needed him, or else she wouldn't have come here before dawn anyway. He also knew that Sam had to go into Seattle two days before on business.

"Damn" he cursed, Bella was sleeping in his bed, and they hadn't even started to talk. He rubbed his hands over his face in distress. "Leah, come on, honey. Don't freak out. It'll be fine." He wrapped his arms around her, encasing both of them and lovingly kissed his son on the forehead.

Leah flinched and wrinkled her nose, before stepping away from him.

He let his hands drop to his side. "Aw, don't be like this. I'm gonna take a shower, right now. Just sit down with Yuma. I'll be done in a few minutes."

Yuma started to cry in earnest now. His little face was flushed, those tiny hands balled up and flailing about. Leah tried to shush him. She cradled him and hummed a soft song to him. Jake watched her for a moment and felt a little relieved when Yuma reacted to her soft voice.

"Jake," Leah said once she caught his eye, displaying a worried expression on her face. "I fought too hard to keep you sane. You know how much I worry about you. It took a lot out of me, too. Do I need to remind you how long it took for you to get on with your life again? You know damn well that Yuma needs you. You better get that head of yours out of your ass, and fast."

Jacob clearly heard Bella shuffle around now, and became more anxious than he had felt in a very long time. He knew Leah would notice his panicked and worried expression when he stole a panicked look towards his bedroom, praying that Bella would find back to sleep and stay behind that door.

Leah sighed annoyed, watching his internal struggle. He knew she could read him like an open book. She knew him too well; he couldn't hide anything from her. The love he felt for Bella was right there on display on his face and in his eyes. His body, turned towards the door, straining to get to Bella, would tell her everything she needed to know. Leah had this talent to look right through him as it is.

"Oh Fuck," Leah muttered at the same time he became aware what his body language must have told her, that he would do anything to keep Bella around now. She sounded pissed, but he ignored her as his concern and worry was solely about clarifying this strange situation to Bella and soon.

He hoped that Bella would be able to understand, once they get a chance to talk things out.

But then, Yuma wailed again, pulling him right into the other direction. Yuma had to be his priority. He needed protection and his parents to take care of him. He sure was not feeling too well. Jacob had to make sure that he got to see the Pediatrician right away.

His hands flew up in his hair, tugging it hard in frustration. He understood that the nagging feeling in his stomach he'd experienced earlier had been a warning for the things to come. It was too late now. If only he had talked to Bella after their love making instead of letting her sleep, he wouldn't be in this mess.

Jacob rubbed his face. He wanted Bella to simply wait in his bedroom until he returned from the clinic. If things only were that easy. He realized that he had maneuvered himself into a precarious situation, and the realization brought his blood pressure to new heights. Shit! How could he have been so careless and naive?

Leah sat down with a huff, and brought the baby to her breast, hoping Yuma would fall asleep while feeding.

Jacob took another careful look at the bedroom door. It seemed quiet again, he couldn't hear Bella moving around anymore, only her erratic breathing was pretty damn obvious.

Quickly, he walked over to Leah and Yuma, who was falling asleep, and crouched down before them, taking one of her hands between his. "Look, Leah," he pleaded, "I know you are worried about me, but please trust me right now, I need you to just shut up for a few minutes, okay? I'll be back as soon as I can." He placed a kiss onto the top of her head, and froze when his bedroom door opened and he heard Bella's sharp intake of breath.

_**FUCK!**_

His heart pounded in his chest. _No, no! Oh, please, no!_ He felt the panic creep up from deep within his chest. He had to diffuse the situation before it got out of hand, before Bella would read more into it then it was, but his head was empty. He noticed Leah's staring towards the bedroom door and he knew. He knew he screwed it all up, he knew this was much worse than anything else, ever!

"Bella," he said and then stammered, "It's not what you think it is..."

"It's exactly what I think it is Jacob," Bella answered monotonously, holding his bed sheet bunched up protectively before her chest. "You only said the very same to _her_ only a couple of moments ago. It seems you suck at excuses. You should consider expanding your vocabulary..."

Jake stood up, lifting his hands in a placating gesture. "Let me explain, Bella. Please..."

"There's nothing to explain, Jake." Bella stepped through the door and stalked through the hallway on heavy legs, aiming for the front door, dressed in only her jeans, boots and the bed sheet.

"It was a mistake anyway..." Bella said, and his heart dropped to the ground.

"Yeah, that's right, Bella!" Leah hissed quietly and shot her a disgusted glance. "A fucking big mistake... You don't belong here anymore."

Bella scanned the floor with her eyes, ignoring Leah's snide remark, but Jacob saw her wince and he could see her distress.

Leah bent down and pulled something out from under the couch. "You wouldn't be looking for this, would you? Leah asked smiling.

His head started to pound like crazy now when he saw Bella's shirt and bra dangle from Leah's outstretched hand. "Leah!" he said in warning.

Bella brushed past him and snatched her clothes, mortification written all over her face. Then she stormed towards the front door and ripped it open. A gust of cold wind flooded the hallway.

"Bella, please..." Jacob crossed the space between them and grabbed her arm, trying to stop her from leaving. "I wanted to tell you..." It came out wrong. So wrong. "Please..."

"Don't touch me," Bella yelled at him and slapped his hand away. "There's no need to explain yourself, Jacob. Everything pretty much explained itself." A sob slipped past her lips as she took her parka from the peg. She rushed out the door and hurried down the driveway pulling her parka on in a hurry. She simply let the bed sheet flutter to the ground, soaking up with muddy water.

"Bella, stay!" he yelled after her, violent tremors rocking his body as he felt the familiar fury creep up in him.

"Jake," Leah said, suddenly right behind him, placing her hand on his back.

He shook her off. "Get away from me!" he grunted. It wasn't safe to be around him right now. He was vibrating with anger. Watching Bella run away from him, hearing his son scream in agony now... Everything would still be alright if Leah hadn't come. Everything had gone wrong because of her…. here at the wrong time. He felt the wolf claw his way out.

He was beside Bella in an instant, moving so fast she didn't see him coming. He wouldn't let Bella walk out of his life... not again... not without fighting for her. His chest heaved with the effort to keep his human form.

He was beyond furious. "Damn you Bells, you will not run away again. I won't let you do this again, you owe me some answers," Jacob snarled, blocking her path. "And I want them now!"

"I don't owe you anything," she spat back, shivering in the cold. "If she's okay with you fucking around behind her back... you should keep her... her and all the other women... I couldn't care less!" She slipped around him, walking farther away from him.

"Oh fuck no, don't you even go there right now. You were all over me the second you stepped into my house. So don't even try and put the blame on me alone!" Jacob roared, and reached out to stop her from running. He twirled her around, forcing her to look at him.

"For a second I hoped..." she said shakily, but then straightened and stared at him coldly. "But it was nothing more than an illusion..." She slipped out of his grasp as if she couldn't stand to be touched by him anymore.

"I don't even know who you are anymore. You are no good Jacob... Fucking around when you're having a wife and son waiting for you. I never felt as used and as dirty as I do now."

"You're one to talk!" he sneered, seething. "You didn't care last night..."

Bella had reached her car and yanked the door open. "Look, Jacob. Why don't you just leave me alone? It was a big mistake to come here... You have a life now... a baby..." She climbed in and started the motor.

"I never wanted you anyway..." was the last thing he heard, before the car roared to life and his fury completely overcame him.

"Stay here, Bella," he shouted as his fist smashed down on the roof of her car.

She screamed out, terrified, and stepped down on the accelerator as hard as she could. "Just leave me alone!"

She drove off as fast as the old truck would let her. The pain in his heart became unbearable.

He couldn't watch her drive away from him and stormed into the forest, barely able to contain his wolf from breaking free on the middle of the road. _Away, just away from Bella and away from Leah..._ was all he could think off, finally phasing before he even reached the woods.

_This is bad, this is really bad,_ his mind screamed at him. He couldn't even turn in the direction where he knew Bella was now driving. He felt utterly devastated.

_Why didn't he talk to her,_ he berated himself. _If things hadn't blown out of proportions._ Trust him to mess this up royally.

Jacob thought of the look in her eyes, the glare she had given him, the devastation and betrayal mirroring in her brown eyes, when she saw him interacting with Leah and Yuma. It cut him straight through the heart. He felt this excruciating pain; his legs buckled underneath him, he could barely hold himself up.

_What have I done?_ _Why did I not insist,_ he asked himself over and over again.

He had to see Bella. He wouldn't let her do this again. They were going to talk and if he had to tie her down. With fierce determination, he ran back to his house, phased back and slipped on a pair of spare pants he always kept hidden behind the porch.

He stormed up the stairs, finding Leah staring at him by the front door.

"You," he said in a dangerously low voice, pointing his finger into her face. His anger rolled off him with every word he spoke. If she hadn't showed up at his house, he would have had the time he needed to talk things out with Bella. He had to reel in his aggression. She wasn't to blame. He had brought that upon him all by himself, but he wouldn't accept any of her accusations either. "You will not ruin this for me. I will have Bella back in my life, whether you agree with that or not!"

His eyes held hers and she understood exactly that he meant what he said. Her eyes then shifted to Yuma, who was now starting to kick and scream in agony.

"I will take both of you to the clinic now, but don't you dare say one fucking word to me right now," he spat, containing his rage only because she was holding their baby in her arms.

As soon as they were back from the hospital - Yuma had his first ear infection - he had called in sick and then ran into the forest, phasing as soon as he got into the tree lines, running as fast as he could, his powerful feet pounding the rich soil. All he could think about was that he wouldn't let her run away from him again. He had to see her and talk to her and if this would be the last thing he would do in his life.

He knew the way by heart and it took him only a few minutes to race through the forest. His heart ached. He had to find a way to calm her down and make her listen to him.

**~~00~~**

Bella couldn't recall driving from La Push to Forks. The tears she spilled and the pain she felt seemed to be getting worse with each minute passing. She was suddenly standing right in front of her father's house. She was glad that Charlie's car wasn't there. Obviously, he was sleeping at Sue's. Good. So she wouldn't need to face him and explain where she'd spent her night.

She was so disgusted with herself. How could she let that happen? Jake was happy now, he had a family. What was she doing to him again? She had no right... no rights whatsoever to interfere with his life ever again!

Bella stepped out of her car, determined to leave this life behind her for good. What had she done? How much damage could she possibly cause in only one life-time? Disappointment coursed through her veins. Disappointment over her own selfish actions. Her greedy need for him might be costing him dearly once more.

But she was also disappointed over getting to know a part of Jacob she never thought he'd possessed. Sure, she had an active part in this; in fact, she knew she'd left him with little choices. She practically threw herself at him with no regard for his current life.

She was so selfish, but she also knew she had no choice. She wanted him for so long now.

However, she also couldn't comprehend that Jake had it in him to cheat on his... wife. She never thought he'd be the kind of guy... She always thought of him as a loyal and a faithful man.

Something just felt very wrong with this whole situation, but regardless she needed to leave him alone now, she needed to stay away and let him continue with his life, with his... family.

Bella was confused, nothing made any sense at all. But regardless, she needed to leave him alone now, she needed to stay away and let him continue with his life, with his... family.

Why hadn't he stopped her advances? Why did every touch and every kiss feel like a promise to her? He had made her feel so special and truly loved. She had never felt so wonderful and so desired before. Jake had treated her like a rare and very special gift last night.

She had wanted him from the moment he put his hands on her at the beach. The pull towards him was strong and uncontrollable. She wanted him to be her first and he gave her the most wonderful and powerful experience she had ever had. She loved him so much... Why did he do that to her and his family? Why did it feel so... _real_?

Her thoughts were a jumbled mess as she slammed the front door closed and, blinded by her tears, ran upstairs into her old room to pack her stuff. She needed to get out of here for once and for all.

She pulled her suitcase from under the bed and started throwing her things in. It didn't take her long to yank all of her clothes out of the closet and put it away. Then, she ran into the bathroom to collect her toiletries. Only now, she recognized how sore her body actually felt. She was aching between her legs, tender and sore from all their love-making only a few hours ago. Shivering and freezing with nerves, and a hot shower suddenly sounded really inviting.

As she stripped her clothes, she could smell Jake on her body, his fluids running out of her, trickling down her thighs. She closed her eyes and could still feel his tender but possessive strokes on her skin, his soft lips and his delicious tongue all over her, licking and tasting her. She could hear his soft whispers and his passionate moans, the soreness between her legs the proof of his glorious manhood powerfully and unrestrained moving deep within her.

Despite her emotional turmoil and the unpleasant tenderness, her body started to throb and ache in desire for him again and she cursed herself for still wanting him so badly.

As she looked up, she caught her reflection in the mirror. A woman, should be glowing after having a great first time, instead she looked at her defeated self. Dark circles under red-rimmed eyes, even paler face than usual...

She was painfully aware of the fact that she'd never have him again, never see him again, nor ever feel him move inside her again. She had to go, so he could live his life and be there for his son and Leah.

She reached up, grabbing her hair, yanking it in desperation as if it was possible to rip out all the pain and despair... Her knees gave in and she fell, down to the floor where she rolled into a fetal position, trying to hold herself together. _Why is this happening to me?_ She sobbed, wishing this incredible pain would just go away.

She finally dragged herself into the shower, flinching when the cold water hit her sore body. She couldn't move for the longest time, she just stood there, not moving a muscle while she waited for the water to warm up. She washed up, slowly and methodically - hair, neck, chest, arms, legs. She hissed when she ran her washcloth over her inner thighs and the sore place at her center.

She cried, while water and soap washed all of his scent completely from her body and carried it away through the drain. She felt like an empty shell of herself. All of her training, all of her new found self-confidence, washed right down the drain along with any hope she had ever had to be with Jake again. She had failed.

Finally, she stepped out of the shower, dried off and got dressed. When her thoughts went back to his body again, that was when she slowly comprehended that she had not only finally lost her virginity to Jacob, but that she had also done so without using any protection at all.

Bella paled and gasped. **"Oh God. NO!"**

**~~00~~**

She was throwing the last pieces of clothing into her suitcase, when she heard him outside of her house. The noise was familiar as if it was just yesterday when he visited her through her window for the first time, yet it made the tiny hairs in her neck stand on end and her stomach twist in an unpleasant way.

Jacob did not wait for permission to enter as he simply jumped up to her window and forced it open. He lithely slipped through the opening, ignoring her angry shout.

He looked deranged and stressed when his eyes locked onto her face and then at the suitcase that she had tossed onto her bed. A low warning growl rumbled from his chest as he stepped closer. "Where do you think you're going, Bella?"

"What does it look like? Home of course," Bella said, closed the suitcase and zipped it up. Her heart pounded like hell, but she tried to keep a straight face. She needed to be strong for once and do the right thing. Leaving was the best option for all involved. He deserved better, but she had once again seen to it that Jacob's life would be in shambles. She prayed that she wouldn't ruin everything he had built in his life. She could only hope it wasn't too late already and Leah would forgive him.

"The hell you will!" Jacob spat and grabbed her wrist, stopping her from yanking her suitcase from her bed. Panic rising up into his throat, he was getting desperate. He just had to try to fix whatever was fixable. "I'm not letting you go. You fucking owe me some damn answers!"

"Answers? Here's your answer. Get out of my life Jacob Black," she screamed into his face, ignoring the pain he inflicted on her wrist and the fear that suddenly bubbled up in her at the menacing look on his face. She straightened her back, drew her head back and looked him straight into his eyes. "You are a liar and a cheat! How could you? I am never coming back; you will never have to worry about seeing me again."

"Bella, stay..." he whispered, the pain in his voice evident. He took her hands into his and forced her to look at him. "Please." The desperation she saw in his eyes was simply too much for her to take. It broke her heart.

"Let me go," she hissed, staring up at him with the coldest glare she could muster. Inside, she was crumbling, dying, but she wouldn't show it. She had to go. It was the least she could do, after messing up his life in just one night. "I have a life in Florida and I can't wait to go back to it," she told him angrily and freed her hand from his grasp to take her suitcase, carrying it to her door.

"Goodbye, Jacob."

With one big step he stood before her, stopping her from going any further.

There was only one way she could make him hate her now, and she was determined to do whatever she could for him to let her go. Taking a deep breath, she said, "I got what I wanted from you, Jacob, and you enjoyed it very much as well, didn't you? Now it's time to move on, and Leah is correct, I do not belong here anymore, nor do I want to stay a moment longer than I have to."

A look of utter disbelief and hurt appeared in his eyes. "No fucking way, Bella," Jacob bellowed, and the walls literally shook from the force of it. He punched the door frame, dust and splinters of wood raining down on her.

"Goodbye, Jake," she repeated.

He finally dropped his arms helplessly down to his sides; his eyes looked crazed and grief stricken as he bend down getting into her face. "If you leave now," he hissed menacingly, "I don't ever want to see you again. You are dead to me." Tears were flowing down his face and she knew he had no realization of them at all.

She felt so hollow, but it was the right thing to do.

Bella slipped through her door, not ever looking back, and left.

**~~00~~**

The door slammed closed and Jacob was sure that his heart would stop beating. _How could he go on without her in his life?_

No... not again...

Her truck roared to life. He listened to her pulling out, the gravel crunching under the weight of the tires. _Why? How could she?_

His wolf clawed at him, frenzied in his attempt to stop her. With a mighty roar, Jacob flung himself out of the window, phasing before he touched the ground, forcing himself to run. Run away from this house. Run away from her. Run away from everything.

He would not be able to survive it... again. He didn't want to. He was so sick and tired of his.

He ran aimlessly into the forest, not caring where he ended up. Even his wolf could barely take it anymore; he stumbled and hit the frozen floor hard, then slamming into a tree.

He simply stayed down on the cold floor, closing his eyes, and clutching his painful chest, waiting for the welcoming darkness to finally relieve the excruciating pain.

Yuma's sweet face suddenly appeared in his mind...

**A/N *Shudders* This was an extremely difficult chapter to write for both of us. The journey Jake and Bells are taking is a long one and very painful for both of them!**

**We want to thank all of our faithful readers for sticking with this story and us!**

**Thanks **

**EyJB**


	12. Hostage of Love - Hurt

_**Disclaimer:**_ _**All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. The authors are in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

_**Chapter betas JUL5857 and SueMe!**_

_**Chapter Warning: More Angst guys:-(**_

_**Hostage of Love**_

~**Chapter 11~**

**Hurt**

_I hurt myself today_

_To see if I still feel_

_I focus on the pain_

_The only thing that's real_

_The needle tears a hole_

_The old familiar sting_

_Try to kill it all away_

_But I remember everything..._

"Hurt", NIN

~~oOo~~

_His wolf clawed at him, frenzied in his attempt to stop her. With a mighty roar, Jacob flung himself out of the window, phasing before he touched the ground, forcing himself to run. Run away from this house. Run away from her. Run away from everything._

_He would not be able to survive it... again. He didn't want to. He was so sick and tired of his life._

_He ran aimlessly into the forest, not caring where he ended up. Even his wolf could barely take it anymore, he stumbled and hit the frozen floor hard, then slamming into a tree._

_He simply stayed down on the cold floor, closing his eyes, and clutching his painful chest, waiting for the welcoming darkness to finally relieve the excruciating pain._

_Yuma's sweet face suddenly appeared in his mind..._

~~oOo~~

He sat in his darkened living room, the TV on, but he wasn't watching. Holding a beer in his hand, he was lost in his thoughts. He was drunk. Really drunk.

Alcohol helped him somewhat. It numbed the pain in his heart, and it helped him just a little to forget the deep loss he felt yet again in his heart. The pain over the loss of Bella... again. The hurt over how she'd left him and walked out of his life... again. She had been just as selfish as ever... again.

Some reality show was playing on television, but he could only see blurs of colorful shades and muted voices. Yeah, he didn't need to watch or listen to this kind of crap. He had his own shitty life going on and from the looks of it, it wasn't about to change in the near future. If ever.

He took another big gulp from his beer. He wouldn't need much more until he'd pass out and wake up in the morning, hung-over, and just in time to leave for work. Then he'd drag himself through the day, getting his boss pissed at him, because he would look like shit, scare and intimidate most of his clients away with his angry and aggressive attitude.

Jacob knew that his boss would jump down his throat soon enough. He had had a few 'talks' with him already, most of which never even registered in his mind. He remembered how his boss had accused him to potentially ruin his business and he already heard talk around town about his bad behavior.

Jacob knew it should concern him, that he should stop drinking and behave like an responsible adult, but he couldn't care less about what people where thinking about him right about now. The only thing that kept him from just giving up his job was Yuma.

In all of his grieve and sorrow, he still remembered that he needed to make sure he had an income coming in to help support and pay for Yuma, although he knew very well, that he'd been the world's worst dad lately. So Jacob would tell his boss that he would be trying his best and that he would get better soon enough. He would try harder to get his act together, at least at work.

He knew that Sam was there beside Leah with Yuma. He knew that Sam was trying his best to fill in for his pathetic absence from Yuma's life. He knew Sam was making sure that Yuma was well taken care of. Most of all, he knew that it bothered him deeply, but he had no will or strength left to do anything about it.

He could not even find it in him to feel sorry for anyone other than himself right now. Jacob just didn't care anymore. He was so fed up with his life that it was hard for him to just go through a normal day.

Slowly, he stood up and went into the kitchen, pulling yet another whiskey bottle out of the fridge. He drank right out of the bottle. Why bother with any cups anyway? Besides, he was sure he already used them all up and that there were no glasses or cups left. As he put the bottle down, Jacob looked around his once spotless kitchen with total disinterest and disgust. "S_he managed to fuck me up once again,_" he thought with disgust.

Dirty dishes were piled up in the sink, drained beer cans and whiskey bottles covered almost the entire surface of his counter, empty pizza boxes were carelessly stacked behind the door.

From time to time, Leah stopped by to bring him some food, but he'd only bark at her and demand that she left again. He'd leave her food untouched most of the time. Why the hell did she even bother anymore? He'd really wish she'd simply not come by anymore at all.

There was a large part of him that blamed Leah for what happened that morning. He simply could not help it. If she would have not shown up he'd be with his Bells right now. They could have been happy and have a good shot of a future together.

He felt his anger return and his eyes sting once more. With a vicious gesture, he rubbed over his burning eyes as he grabbed for his bottle of whisky, his fist punching yet another hole into the wall. Why did Leah have to show up that morning when _she_ was sleeping in his bed? Why did Yuma have to get ill that morning? Why the fuck was Sam out of town that morning?

"Fuck, what did I ever do to deserve to be that cursed?" he berated himself in his drunken stupor.

Basically, he knew that it made no sense to blame anyone other than himself, which pissed him off even more. He knew, he should have talked with _her_.

_Whatever!_ He was sick and tired of everything and everybody.

He didn't answer the phone. He didn't answer his door. His mail box would be overflowing if not for Leah or Sam or even sometimes Embry. They'd bring his mail in and put it on his desk. He'd leave it there to rot.

Most of the time they would not say anything to him, they would just leave him to wallow in his misery, and hoping with some time, he would snap out of it. But since they saw no change at all in his self-distracting behavior, he hoped their patience would run out eventually.

He'd ignore them. He would not even acknowledge them for the most part anyway, only sometimes he would simply tell them to get the fuck out of his house. Perhaps, if he would ignore them long enough, they'd finally leave him alone entirely.

Sometimes, he felt slightly guilty for ignoring his father, too. He hadn't bothered making any efforts to go see him in several weeks, but he figured someone was talking care of him anyway.

As on most weekends, by 9:00 am Jacob was already drunk, or he was still drunk from his constant all-nighters he pulled. To be honest, most of the time he couldn't even remember what day of the week it was anyway. His priority was to numb himself throughout the day just as much as through most of the nights. He didn't want to see, he didn't want to hear, he didn't want to feel anymore.

He grabbed a new can of beer, opened it and emptied it in one gulp. Sleep and forget was his only goal, or so he thought. He could not help himself but think back to his yet again worse day in his life.

_He could not remember how long he had laid there. His body was stiff. Every muscle in his body ached as soon as he was moving._

_He was in shock, and he was in denial, he was so very angry at himself and the world. His mind still clouded and not able to comprehend what had happened with Bella... again. "FUCK," he thought as soon as her name came into his mind._

_He turned onto his back slowly, stretching his sore limbs out. His wolf had the incredible ability to heal any physical injuries fast, but this did not apply to the torturous stinging pain he felt in his heart._

_"__What the hell am I supposed to do now?"_ _he thought with rising anger. "Why did I not force her to listen to me as I had planned?" With every thought, his frustrations grew bigger. His body started to tremble, his wolf demanding to tear out and run to find her. He needed to find her._

Frustrated, he got up and cursed his pounding head. He wiped his face, with his large hand, noticing the wet on it. He stood there stunned, realizing that he had been crying. _"Great, just fucking great",_ he berated himself for the umpteenth time.

Jacob reached out from the chair he'd slumped in to find his beer, but only finding the empty can. With a curse, he got up to get himself a new one. He remembered there was an old bottle of Jack right beside his bed too, so he staggered into his bed room and bend down, grabbing it.

He simply stood there and emptied half of it until the bottle slipped out of his hands and hit the floor with a muted clonk. He passed out, the remaining Jack leaked out, adding a new stain to the soiled carpet.

Several weeks went by where Jacob fully indulged in his depression and self-pity, ignoring family and friends completely.

~~oOo~~

He woke up to the sound of his cell phone blaring into his oversensitive ears and groggily reached around, trying to shut it off. Then he saw the caller ID, realizing that his boss was calling him again, and once more, he let the call go to voice mail. "What the fuck does he want again?" was his only thought.

It was a dull morning, clouds hanging deep. He heard the rain drip from the roof in a steady rhythm. It was all the same to him anyway.

As he finally rolled out of bed, his head starting to throb immediately, and his stomach tightening in spasms, he realized he hadn't eaten for the at least two days. Alcohol had been the only liquid passing through his lips. He also didn't remember the last time when he had a shower. He felt weak, exhausted, and tired. To sum it up, he felt like shit.

He made his way over to the kitchen, checking his fridge if there was anything left to eat, but he found nothing, but wilted lettuce and a piece of rotten ham along with two dried-out slices of toast. He'd knew then that he needed to go grocery shopping. There wasn't even any beer left either. _What day was it?_

Jacob became aware that nobody had come by to nag or yell at him for several days. A week... maybe even longer... _Fine with him! They could stay the hell away. He was better off without anybody anyway._

With a frustrated grunt, he slammed the fridge closed and went into the bathroom, looking for some Aspirin to calm his now pounding headache down. He took a handful and swallowed them dry.

He was sloppily brushing his teeth and putting on some deodorant. For a moment, he stared at his reflection in the mirror and if he actually would give a fuck, he would have been pretty damn disgusted at his own reflection. He hadn't shaved in forever and he noticed the dark circles under his eyes. He also seemed to have a permanent scowl on his face and worry lines etched onto his forehead.

Quickly, he turned away and headed into his bedroom, grabbing a grey, rumpled shirt and some old cut-offs, then decided to finally listen to the message his boss had left him earlier today. "Hi, Jake. You didn't show up several weeks, and I told you it was alright to take some time for yourself. But I also told you to get back in here by last Monday, and you did not bother to show or call me. Not good, not good at all. Now you listen to me, and listen good, son. You better try and get your shit together soon. You know that I always valued you as my front man, but I can't have you here in the office cranky and drunk. I am not letting you ruining my business. So listen up, I'm giving you until the end of this week, and this is it.

By Monday morning, you better show up sober and with a clear mind or I am going to have to let you go. You understand that, don't you?"

Feeling fresh anger with the current turn of events, Jacob stomped through the front door to get into his truck.

"Fuck!" he yelled out loud as he scrambled to put the key in the door to unlock it. After several attempts he finally got in and immediately slammed the gear into reverse and drove down his driveway, gravel flying all over.

First, he wanted to drive to Port Angeles, where he could grocery shop anonymously, but it would take him a lot longer to get his booze so he decided against it. Bad thing was, here everyone would know him and recognize the pathetic state he was in... _Just great._

_Who the hell gives a shit, I am just going in and take what I need and get the fuck out of there as fast as I can_, he grumbled under his breath, convincing himself, Damn! He was realizing at the same time he was conversing with himself like a loon.

With screeching tires he came to a sudden halt in a small side street around the corner of his destination. He got out of his car and walked down the street towards the small corner shop.

He was careful to keep his head down so he wouldn't need to see and greet people he knew as he entered the shop with another unfriendly grunt, quickly picking out the essentials he needed - bread, eggs, bacon - and throwing them into his cart. He also grabbed a case of beer and a bottle Jack Daniels. The shop owner, Mrs Ateara, had long given up lecturing him about alcohol ruining his life. She'd also given up reminding him that he wasn't allowed to legally buy alcohol just yet, being only 20 and all.

She'd just pretended not to see what he had in his cart, knowing he'd get his booze elsewhere and maybe she didn't want him to drive around drunk off his ass. Jacob didn't know and he couldn't care less.

That's when his ears picked up a light squeal, a gurgling laughter, and reality crashed onto him with vengeance.

It was his son's voice coming from a row behind him. He then heard Leah's voice, too. She was laughing and making some funny noise that brought out more of Yuma's sweet baby giggle. A male voice said something to her in a light, caring tone, which made her hum contently. _Yeah, so Sam was with her._

His first impulse was to spin around and hightail it. Of all the people he could possibly run into, it had to be Leah and Sam crossing his path? He wasn't in the mood to deal with them. He didn't want to be confronted with their belligerent looks and their anger, nor - and that was even worse - did he want to see the pity for him in their faces.

He left his cart in the middle of the isle and turned toward the exit, feeling irritated, trying to get the fuck out of there. He did not want to face them right now or in the near future. Now he had to drive to Port Angeles after all. He should have done that to begin with. Jacob was angry at himself for even bothering to stop here.

He made it to the exit door, when he heard Leah calling out his name. "What, Black! Now you don't even give a shit about your son anymore either?" she called after him angrily.

He stopped in his tracks, swinging around when he suddenly heard a woman say, "He's so cute. You must be so proud of your son!"

"Yes, I am." Sam answered proudly.

And that did it!

He stomped forward, clenching his teeth together and let his feet carry him toward Sam who was holding Yuma in his arms. "This is my son," he growled, and scowled at a woman fussing over Yuma, scaring the crap out of her.

A furious hiss came out of Leah as he watched the woman quickly back away. "What the hell is wrong with you, Black?" Leah snorted and took the baby from Sam's arms, placing him on her hip and putting some space between him and Yuma. _God, his son had grown so much..._

Leah's nose scrunched up as she eyed him from head to toe. "_Gawd_... You look like a damn hobo... and you stink like hell..." he heard her say with disgust lacing her voice. "When was the last time you had a shower?"

Ignoring her comment, he simply stood there, feeling more depressed by the moment. _Gosh, my life is getting worse by the minute._

"I want to hold my son," he announced, his voice raspy from all the drinking, and he shifted his stance. His heart ached. _He really wanted to hold his son so badly_. "Please."

He suddenly felt vulnerable and very uncomfortable. His wolf, however, was protesting yet again those constant weak human emotions and he felt unsettled by the confinement once more. Jacob's human emotions started to really bother him.

"I can't believe what you are doing to yourself. You ought to be truly ashamed of yourself, Jake," Leah said, as his heart began to pound fast in his chest. She never even bothered to acknowledge his request.

"You must actually enjoy the shit-hole you have dug for yourself again. I can't figure any other way, you know." She stared him down for a moment, shaking her head back and forth slowly. "Jake, don't you know by now, s_he_ is not worth it. _She was never worth it!_ When will you finally see the light of day, huh?" she ranted on, but he only registered her words from a distance.

He was fighting to restrain his revolting wolf now.

"Look at your sorry ass, look what you allowed _her_ to do to you again! You have a son now, dammit!"

_That hurt!_ But he could almost understand Leah's anger. However, he only wished she would show a little more compassion toward him. _I miss talking to you too, Leah_, he thought sadly. Why was she being so cruel? He wished she would just shut up and give him a damn break.

Didn't he deserve a break? He felt so hopeless and all alone in this world. That realization squeezed his heart in painful spasms.

How many times had he given her a break? When she needed help at one time in her life, he was there for her. He took her 'blows' gladly as long as it made her feel better. Damn, he dealt with her fucked up life, so why couldn't she just understand him or at least attempt to understand him when he needed it? A deep sigh escaped his chest and his eyes suddenly stung again.

Sam was observing their 'conversation' with careful eyes, casually putting soda cans and baby wipes into the cart and came to stand close by Leah's side, trying to calm her down by slowly caressing her arm and placing a soft kiss onto her head. Jacob felt like vomiting right then and there.

"Still alive and kicking, Jake?" Sam asked quietly, as Leah pulled Yuma even closer to her chest, and moved a little more forward still, maneuvering his body between him and Leah's completely.

This action brought out a menacing growl from Jacob, and his eyes changed color as his wolf became terribly enraged. His wolf pushed even closer to the surface, but Jacob kept a tight leash on him. _Ah, he had always been good suppressing his wolf-side._

He was getting sick and tired of their actions and grew increasingly frustrated. Even though, Jacob knew, in his current state of mind, that now was not the time to challenge Leah or Sam.

Jacob also knew that he was in no condition to take on Sam right now. Not that he couldn't demand his submission or take care of him physically; he was the stronger wolf, regardless of what went on with him.

No, Sam would never dare take on his Alpha wolf, nor would he tolerate it. He would rip him into shreds if he only tried, but his emotional state of mind was simply too messed up. He also realized he could never risk endangering his son.

Still, their action pissed him off hugely. "You think I'm gonna harm him?" he asked in disbelief. "This is MY son and don't either one of you ever forget that."

Yeah, his son who he'd totally neglected, he admitted to himself. Not once within the last weeks had he asked or even thought about Yuma. Jacob's heart started to pound, remorse settling like a heavy weight on his shoulders.

"Now listen to you..." Leah hissed, leaning around Sam's broad shoulders. _As if she'd ever needed Sam's protection._ "The ever caring father, right? You didn't give a shit about him for several weeks. Why now all of a sudden?"

Jacob closed his eyes in pain, trying to calm down. "I. Just. Want. To. See. Him!" He growled, getting really impatient right now.

"Back off, Black!" Leah sneered at him.

"Not here and not in front of Yuma," Sam told her softly, while holding down Jacob's stare, clearly displaying how mad he was at him right now. Sam reached out, touching Leah lightly on her arm. "Baby, calm down. This is not going anywhere. Let's take Yuma home."

_Fucker!_ Sam's smart-ass attitude made Jacob want to hurl yet again. However, he totally respected that Sam kept his head high and his back straight. He would have totally lost respect for him, even in his drunken stupor; he knew better not to cause a scene right now.

Jacob just hoped that Sam knew he would never be able to fill his shoes as Yuma's father. Jacob was Yuma's father whether Sam liked it or not. All he could do was support Leah and help her with Yuma until he would get his shit straightened out again. Yuma was his son and that was that.

He dared to close the distance, and even though Leah was shooting daggers at him, Jacob did not care. He simply had to get a look at his son, but what do you know. Leah was quick to hide the little guy behind Sam's back.

"I don't want him anywhere near Yuma when he's like this. He is not stable right now. God knows what could happen," she spat, talking to Sam as if Jacob wasn't standing right in front of her. "And he's still drunk off his ass. Can't you smell how disgusting he reeks?"

"Look, Jake," he heard Sam speak up again, trying to placate him. "Why don't you get cleaned up and sober, then come by our house, see Yuma and we all can talk?" _They fucking live together now?_

Well, talk about a fucked up situation. Jacob's wolf was irritated like hell at both of them for trying to keep him away from Yuma, but there was a small part of him that knew they were right.

Jacob just stood there, realizing that he was at a disadvantage, hung-over, unstable and smelly. Clearly not a state you wanted to make an impression on your child.

_Ah, God damn! He really needed to get cleaned up._ It was about time to do something about his shitty attitude. He wanted to be the father Yuma deserved. Jacob only hoped he was strong enough to get sober; he had his serious doubts at the moment.

From the corner of his eye, Jacob recognized Quil's mother, watching the three of them with a wary expression. Quil was there, too, and Jacob got upset even more when he heard Mrs. Ateara whisper to her son, "Get that friend of yours out of my store. Son of the Chief or not if he starts a fight in here I won't hesitate calling the Police."

Quil crossed the store with big strides, coming towards them. Switching glances between Leah and his friend, Jacob didn't know what to do. He really didn't want to cause a scene. He only wanted to see his baby, maybe hold him for a second.

Quil clamped his hand down on Jacob's shoulder. "Hey, Jake! How's it going?" He grinned at his friend as if nothing was going on. "Come on, man," he casually announced. "Let's get you out of here..."

"Are you kicking me out?" Jacob hissed, feeling humiliated. "You're my best friend for fuck's sake. Don't do this to me."

Quil didn't waver. "Sorry, man, but you know how it is... A wolf loses his temper easily and my mom is really worried..."

Yuma started to fuss and he heard Leah announce to get the hell out of here. She tossed him one more irritated look and spat, "You will not get to see Yuma in your condition. Get your act together once and for all if you ever want to be in your son's life!" With that she turned away and hurriedly left the store.

"I'll come and get our stuff later," Sam said to Quil, then went after Leah.

Quil's hand pressed down even harder, warning him to do anything stupid, while giving a friendly nod to a customer. "What are your plans for today, Jake?" he asked casually.

Jacob stood there and stared at his friend with sad eyes for what seemed forever, not sure what he should be doing right now, or what he wanted to do right now either.

Quil finally let go of him, seeing that he didn't move and started to pack up his groceries into a bag.

When another shopper almost ran into him with his cart, Jacob came alive again. He pulled his wallet out and took some money, shoving it into Quil's chest. "That should cover it!" he sneered and grabbed the paper bag, the beer and the whiskey bottle, running to his truck.

Getting there, he rammed his fist into it hard and flung the door open, almost ripping it out of the hinges. He took off with screeching tires.

Bella had left him. He was about to lose his job. He wasn't allowed to see his baby anymore. Could his life get any shittier? All he wanted was nothing more than go home and drown his sorrows in alcohol to forget...

~~oOo~~

"What the Fuck!"

Jacob yelled out as cold water dripped down his face, soaking into his sheets. He sat up with a jolt and winced, falling back onto his bed. His head was about to burst. His stomach lurched. He flung his arm over his eyes, protecting his retinas from getting fried by the bright light of the day.

With his eyes still shut, he cursed up a storm. He sensed Leah in the room. She dared to wake him? Why did she wake him? He hated to be awake. Being awake meant being aware of his fucking life.

"Get the hell out of my house!" he demanded through gritted teeth.

"Get up, Jake," Leah said, determination lacing her voice.

He grunted, and intend on ignoring her. She'd leave him alone eventually, if he'd ignore her just long enough.

"Last call, Black."

Her voice was an annoying drone in his head, and he expressed his irritation with a heartfelt "Fuck You!" He just wanted to be left alone.

She kept on talking, and then suddenly she yanked him up by his hair as far as she could. Beyond pissed he yelled out a second time. _How dare she?_ His body started dangerously shaking now as he grabbed her wrists, in order to stop her idiotic attempts to get him to sit up. He was close to phasing... so close.

"Jake, stop right now!" he heard her speak calmly and then she did something he didn't expect.


	13. Hostage of Love - Life's Struggles

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**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. The authors are in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**A/N: Thank you guys for continued reading and hopefully enjoying our story. As hard as life has been thus far for our Jake and Bells, it does indeed go on. Let's see how both of them will handle it. Enjoy guys!**

**Thank You to our ** **betas** **JUL5857 and joanne swift. We couldn't do it without you guys!**

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_**Hostage of Love**_

**~Chapter 12~**

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**_Life's Struggles_**

.

_If Love Was A Word_

_I Don't Understand_

_Simplest Sound With_

_Four Letters_

_What Ever It Was_

_I'm Over It Now_

_With Every Day_

_It Gets Better_

_Are You Loving The Pain?_

_Loving The Pain?_

_And With Every Day_

_Every Day_

_I Try To Move On_

_What Ever It Was_

_Ever It Was_

_There's Nothing Now_

_You Changed_

_New Age..._

_. _

_New Age, Marlon Roudette_

.

_~~oOo~~_

_._

_Still, she wouldn't get it. She kept on talking, and then suddenly she yanked him up by his hair as far as she could. Beyond pissed he yelled out a second time. How dare she? His body started dangerously shaking now as he grabbed her wrists, in order to stop her idiotic attempts to get him to sit up. He was close to phasing... so close._

_"Jake, stop right now!" he heard her speak calmly and then she did something he didn't expect._

_ ._

_~~oOo~~_

.

She was holding him close to her chest, knowing he needed some time to calm down. She told him in a soft voice that she felt guilty, ever since the incident in the market, that she was extremely worried about his state of mind. She also felt small pangs of guilt for treating him so harshly, _yeah right._ Seeing him that way had simply enraged her, she claimed. His pain would bring back memories she rather would leave in the past.

"Fucking Bella," Leah bluntly announced, causing him to cringe, and he was about to lash out when he heard her apologize. That's all he needed, more fucked-up talk about _her_ right now. But since he heard her attempt to apologize, he left it alone. He already had a hard time holding himself together as it was.

Fighting would only lead to phasing and that was the least he wanted to do right now. He did not want to hear his pack's mind, and he didn't want to have them in his head. All he wanted was to be left alone for God's sake.

His violent tremors slowed down, but he was still shaking, _gawd dammit_. She then wrinkled her nose and announced that he smelled foul. He growled.

"Sshhh, Jake. I'm here. Let's get you into the shower. That will make you feel much better," she said with concern in her voice.

A few more times, he demanded that she leave already-to no avail. He did not want to deal with anyone, especially Leah.

"I'm not leaving here until you get cleaned up and have a talk with me. Get that into your head." He heard the warning in her voice. "Look at me," she demanded, while she still had his head cradled in her arms. "We are going through this shit together, okay? Right here and right now, Black!"

He shook his head no. He wanted nothing more than to be left alone.

"Let me help you, it's not like I haven't seen your naked ass a hundred times before," she announced with a strong and determined voice.

His wolf started to rumble inside of him again. He knew he had not much of a choice; once Leah made up her mind that was it. He needed to try, just to hear her out so she could be on her way out of his life again.

"Damn, Jake open your eyes already... look at me!" she requested. "You know I care and I worry about you. You are Yuma's daddy, Jake, and we need you!"

He wasn't sure what he was feeling at that moment. His heart still ached in desperation and pain, but at the same time, he felt the need o_f some basic human contact. There had to be someone who still gave a flying fuck about him, cared if he actually lived or died._

Leah's touch felt nice, her small hand caressing his forehead and his cheek. How much he had missed just such a simple gesture. Maybe there was some hope that he could get out of this deep hole once again.

He allowed her to pull him up onto his feet. He'd gotten so weak that she could shove him towards the bathroom almost effortlessly.

"Get me some fucking aspirin out of that cabinet," he grunted roughly as soon as they made it into his bathroom, all the while Leah, constantly holding him snugly, supporting him. He watched her reach into his medicine cabinet, retrieving his much needed painkiller. He snatched the whole bottle out of her hand as soon as she took it out of the cabinet and tossed half of its contents down his throat, dropping the rest of the bottle carelessly to the floor.

He almost expected her to yell at him for acting like an ass, but of course she ignored his attempts in pissing her off without batting an eye.

She turned the shower faucet on, immediately, steam clouded the small bathroom. "Move it, Jake," she spoke up.

"Alright! Alright," he griped, unsure if he should strip his shorts down in front of her.

She looked at him for a moment, noticing his hesitation, and with a twinkle in her eye, she swiftly ripped his filthy shorts off him and shoved him into the shower, the hot water scolding his skin right away.

_Damn!_ It was all the same to him. Slowly, he began to turn his face into the spray of water, letting the hot water soak his hair and skin.

Leah yanked the shower curtain aside and handed him a new bottle of shampoo and a musky scented soap. "Wash up, Black," she told him with that annoying smirk on her face, "or I'll do it for you!"

"Fuck you!" he muttered, but he would not take it past her, so he quickly went on with lathering his body up with the soap she handed to him.

"You need to shave as well and cut your hair..." she stated and stared at him with her arms crossed over her chest, unperturbed by his nakedness.

Jacob growled and pulled the shower curtain closed. "Damn, Leah! Stop ordering me around already. I get it alright?"

Leah finally left him alone. "Okay, I'm out here for now," she snapped and left the bathroom. A second later he heard her move around his kitchen.

The water felt surprisingly good. He had to admit to himself that he felt much better already. It had been too long since he had cleaned himself up. He was fucking sure that Leah was determined to pull him out of his dark place once more, but he was not so sure or convinced that it would be possible this time. He had lost _her_ again. How could he ever forgive himself to let her slip away for a second time?

He turned the faucet off, simply stood there and let the water drip down his body, noticing his stomach growling violently of hunger. Hurriedly, he loosely wrapped a towel around his hips, forgoing the shave and the haircut.

Leah would just have to deal with it when he sat down to eat like that. He couldn't wait another moment to get some real food into his system. His stomach growled once more at the delicious smell wafting through the house. He was starved.

Soon he sat on his kitchen table in front of a huge plate piled high with eggs, bacon and several slices of toast, slithered with butter and jam. He was impressed, he had to admit, she did surprise him by cooking him such a great meal. He wasn't about to tell her that though.

He scarfed his food down without looking up from his plate, washing it all down with the strong black coffee she had brewed for him.

He, nevertheless, could feel Leah's eyes on him throughout his meal. Her observing glare made him edgy. He really did not want to face her just yet. He didn't need to hear her lecture about letting _her_ go already and to move on. There was a small stream of guilty waves running through him as he simply wished she'd leave him be, leave him to wallow in his miserable life.

"Okay, Black, when are you going to look at me?" she suddenly announced. "I've just about had it. You are going to straighten yourself out and you are going to do so now."

He huffed in annoyance and rolled his eyes. "You can't tell me what to do."

"Oh, can't I, Jake?" She threw her arms up in the air. "I fucking care about you. I'm not watching you waste away anymore. You feel me?"

He grunted.

"You are a grown man. You have responsibilities and not just to yourself anymore. There are people depending on you. Damn, you have a real job, Jacob! Did you forget about that, too?" She clearly sounded frustrated now, but still she wasn't going to give up.

_Yeah_, she was not going to let him get away with it any longer, he realized that much.

_"_Look, I need you, and I miss you! Yuma needs you! Your Pack needs you! You owe it to yourself and all of us to get on with it already." Relentlessly, she kept on talking and pleading with him. She made it hard for him to continue ignoring her. He felt his resolve falter piece by piece.

"Jake..." He suddenly heard her voice so low, that he almost missed it. He could not help it anymore, he finally raised his eyes to hers, and painfully noticed how much she also was suffering. "Jake," she said again. "I... I am so sorry!" She did not need to elaborate, he knew exactly what she was talking about.

"Hey," Leah put her hand on his arm, "I brought someone with me who I thought might cheer you up a little."

Jacob raised his eyebrows questioning, a little hope welling up in him. _Could it be that...?_

"Come with me." She stood up and went into the living room. He followed her walking towards Yuma's crib. "Sit your butt down, Jake," she said and took the baby out of his crib, slowly walking back to him.

Jacob got a little tight around the chest, and the feeling got worse when she placed his sleeping son into his arms. Yuma was so warm and soft, and he'd gotten so big. Although, in his arms his baby would forever look tiny. He bent down and inhaled his sweet scent, his heart aching in longing. He had missed his little fella so much.

Ever since Leah came over, he felt on the verge of tears, but now he welled up, and he realized that there was no holding it back for much longer. He sniffed, trying to rein in the burning tears stinging in his eyes. But then, it couldn't get any worse now, could it? Leah had already seen him at his worst. _Damn, he was at his worse._

"I think an apology is in order," she murmured and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She sat down beside him. "I shouldn't have talked to you like that the other day. Not in front of other people that is. I'm sorry for that. I'm not sorry for what I said though. Jake, you can't be around Yuma when you're drunk, behave aggressively and smell like hell."

He didn't look at her. He was focused on studying Yuma's sweet face. His eyelids were moving rapidly; he was probably dreaming. He even smiled a little in his sleep. It felt so good to finally hold his son again. His wolf hummed contently, and Jacob leaned down, breathing in Yuma's clean and sweet baby scent again, he could not get enough of it.

"I'm a sorry excuse for a father," he finally rasped. "I wouldn't want any lowlife getting close to him, either. To think that I am the lowlife... that I... Oh God!... It just makes it..." His voice broke and a big sob shook his large frame. The tears he'd been holding back started to flow freely now, he did not hold them back any longer. What was the point anyway?

Slowly, he slid down to the floor, cradling his son closely to his chest. He knew he messed up everything good he ever had.

The sharp pain in his heart was taking his breath away. The realization of losing Bella all over again was crushing every rational thought and reason he had. He wanted to bolt, he wanted to release his wolf and run away from here. He wanted to make it all stop already and end it... end his pain and suffering.

His wolf revolted at his thoughts, and Jacob started to shake violently. In the far distance, he heard Leah gasp out and grab his face. He shook his head, trying to shake her off, but she was holding on to him, talking to him, even though he could not hear her words anymore.

How could he have been so stupid of letting _her_ get away from him again? He needed her like he needed air to breathe. How could he possibly go on now?

Suddenly, Yuma started to wake with a start and began to scream; the piercing cry so loud it was like a slap in his face. It brought him back to reality. His tremors subsided slowly and his tears simply stopped. He stared at his son, worriedly. He felt shame wash over him for what he was putting is son through.

He looked up and noticed Leah's wet face, the pain and worry clearly visible. His eyes fell back down onto his son. He kissed him and tried to calm him down, his body shaking less, and Yuma's cries slowly subsided as the rhythm of Jacob's heart soothed him.

Jacob closed his eyes, visualizing Bella. He knew he loved her, and that he would do anything for her, anything at all, but he could not allow her to ruin his life anymore. His drinking and absenteeism threatened to cost him his job.

He even jeopardized losing his son. He'd fought and worked so hard, trying to find some kind of peace and happiness, even without _her_ in his life.

He also realized that she did not care enough about him to hear him out. She did what she does best, _run the fuck out of his life_. So be it.

He had to try to get her out of his head for now. But he knew he was not ever getting her out of his heart.

He knew one thing; he would never again risk losing his son. He would be the kind of father Yuma deserved.

Yuma's tiny hand closed around one of his big fingers, bringing it to his mouth. He let his son suck on his finger until a sharp sting made him gasp in surprise. "Hey, he bit me!" he exclaimed and smiled briefly. Watching his son for a while and letting him chew on his finger, he finally looked up, facing Leah. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I didn't mean to lose it like that... I swear it won't ever happen again."

"You need to phase, Jake," she stated matter-of-factly as she peered into his eyes. "You've caged your wolf for far too long. He needs to get out... And you need to run it out.

"Remember, Jake, how I used to run when I was so angry that I couldn't bear it anymore? You have to get it out of your system. Drinking doesn't do shit for you. I've tried it myself. It doesn't work."

He shook his head. "I don't want to phase." He didn't want to have the pack get a look inside his mind, but his wolf stirred, demanding to be let free.

"Come on, Jake. Running will be good for you."

Yuma squirmed in his arms and turned to get a look at his mother. He wailed and reached out his chubby hands, letting go of Jacob's finger.

"You sure are hungry..." Leah cooed and smiled at Yuma while automatically unbuttoning her blouse. "Give him to me, Jake. He wants to drink. I'll let you change his diaper after he is done. How about it, Jake?" She snickered and winked at him.

Reluctantly, Jacob handed Yuma over to Leah, his hand lingering over his son's face, gently stroking his soft cheeks. "Sure, sure."

With a hungry grunt, Yuma latched on. Leah leaned back against the sofa, looking at him with hopeful eyes. "Just go and run now! We will be here waiting for you, then we will have a talk, okay?"

"Whatever," Jacob said, unconvinced and unwilling. But then, his feet carried him through the backdoor, out into the garden. It was spring. _Why hadn't he recognized it before?_ He could smell the scent of melting snow and fresh green. He could hear the gurgle of the nearby river and the tweeting of birds.

Suddenly, running didn't seem so unpleasant. He could always order the others to phase out, right?

Suddenly, phasing was imperative.

He ripped his towel off his hips and he sprinted towards the forest, phasing as soon as he reached the timber line.

And then he ran.

He was picking up speed; he felt like flying though the forest, his surroundings only a colorful blur, an overwhelming mix of scents and noises. He truly enjoyed his powerful wolf pounding his large paws into the ground, the wind rushing by his huge form.

He did not care where he was running to, he just wanted to run forever. He felt better than he had in a very long time. He had denied his wolf for too long.

He really had missed feeling strong and free.

.

~~oOo~~

.

Bella didn't remember much of her journey back to Jacksonville. She recalled getting into the airplane after calling Charlie, letting him know where to pick up her truck. She also recalled sitting next to an elderly woman that occasionally patted her arms with a sympathetic look on her face. She recalled closing the door of her mother's house behind her several hours later.

She might have sat in her mom's living room for hours or days, she simply didn't remember anymore. It was when her mother came in that she came back to her senses.

"Honey, I didn't know you were here. Why didn't you call me?" Renee crouched down beside her, looking at her with worry in her eyes. "Charlie called me. He was pretty upset with you leaving Forks without telling him anything or telling him good-bye..." Renee now discovered Bella's tear-stained cheeks and cried out, "God... baby... What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"Oh... Mom... I think I made a huge mistake... I... I..." Bella whispered.

"A mistake, Bella?" Renee wanted to know. "What kind of mistake could you possibly have made that makes you that sad, honey?"

"The usual..." Bella looked at her mother, then wiped across her face with the sleeve of her shirt. "Just being me... you know... making stupid decisions around men. Again..."

"Oh, baby... It's bound to happen when you grow up." Her mom leaned over in attempt to put her arms around her shoulders, but Bella shrugged her off and stood up.

"Yeah, right," Bella muttered. "And I'm the Queen of stupid decisions..." She grabbed her suitcase she'd carelessly dropped next to the door. "I gotta go, Mom."

"Already?" Renee asked, but Bella could hear the elation in her mother's voice. Renee wasn't really the type of mom, who would carefully listen to her daughter's problems and give advice. Too much centered around herself, Renee was just glad when Bella went to talk with her friends about her problems.

"I have to catch some sleep and still need to finish my research paper on congenital hip dysplasia... so, yeah. I need to go. Love you, Mom." Bella hugged her mother briefly.

She entered her tiny apartment half an hour later, unpacked her suitcase methodically and put her clothes in the washer. Then, she dusted and mopped the floor, cleaned the bathroom and sorted through her school books and binders. At last, she went through her apartment taking down each and every wolf picture she had taken in Alaska. She put them away in a box and shoved it under her bed as far as only it would go.

She wanted nothing, absolutely nothing, to remind her of Jake and the night she'd spent with him. It was time to move forward with her life. She had no right to interfere with Jake's life to begin with, and she definitely had caused way too much damage once again.

At the end of the day, she was exhausted and sat down on her bed. Although she didn't want to think of him at all, the memories came without her being able to stop it. _Jake's hot body on her...his mouth savoring every inch of her body...Jake inside of her!_

A tiny, bitter smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. At least, she would always be able to remember a remarkable first time. That was more than more of her friends could say about themselves.

So far, it was, and that she was absolutely sure about, the best experience in her life. With sorrow in her heart, she realized that she had to start over once again, but this time, she was going to make it permanent. She could only hope that she would find a man - someday - that would be able to compare to Jacob Black. He was so special, and he deserved nothing but the best. She knew her love for him was endless, but she had to let Jake go. He was living his own life now.

He had Leah and his son, and he was the Alpha and maybe even the Chief of the Quileute tribe. It was time to make her own mark in life. She had cried and been weak for a big portion of her life, and she was adamant to change that.

Life was going to get busy for her, she would see to that. There would be school and she was going to look for a job as soon as possible. She would make sure to keep herself busy. She wouldn't allow herself to do much brooding or thinking about...LaPush and _him_.

_Nope! There will be none of that. It's time to take my own life back and make better decisions from now on_, she vowed to herself.

Slowly, she walked into her bathroom to wash her face and comb her hair. Since her apartment seemed clean enough, she decided to go get a bite to eat and there was this research paper waiting for her.

Some fast food seemed to do it just fine tonight. Then she would get comfortable in her bed to do some research online for some possible jobs.

.

~oOo~

.

The next few months Bella barely allowed herself to rest. She wasn't sleeping much. When she wasn't studying, she was working at her job at the rehab center for accident victims, or she simply spent her time working on her self-defense techniques.

Slowly, she started to go out with her new friends on a more regular basis. She really took a liking toward Megan, Kat, Kelly and the flamboyant and handsome Matt. Matt was especially sweet, always trying to get her to smile.

She enjoyed their company, they were a fun group of people with different backgrounds and stories, and she knew how much they cared for her. They were easy to get along with, were fun and would get genuinely worried about her. They didn't know exactly what her problems were, but she couldn't hide the haunted look, which seemed to be permanently etched into her eyes, from any of them. She appreciated that they respected her enough to not pry into her life too deep.

More and more, she allowed herself to see the brighter side of life again. She actually noticed that she had started to laugh more frequently and it felt good.

She wasn't happy, but she was content enough. She gave it her best shot to move on.

Of course, there were days when she could not stop herself from thinking of Jake and that fateful night, but she learned to quickly push those thoughts aside.

What she couldn't stop were her dreams. She continued dreaming of the night she had spent with Jake, but the outcome of this dream was often very different. In some of her dreams, she would openly tell him that she loved him and he would tell her that he loved her in return. That was always her favorite dream, but in some of her other dreams, she would control the strong urge and desire to give into her feelings, to have all of him, to allow him to touch her, and they would just be talking.

And then there was a dream when she would simply go back to him and tell him how sorry she was for everything. But her worst dream was when she'd dreamed that he would turn away from her and take Leah and his baby in his arms. Regularly, she would wake up sobbing and crying out for Jake, her heart painfully pounding in her chest.

She missed him so much that it physically hurt. Headaches and stomach pain became her constant companions. She knew that she was pushing herself too hard into her studies, work and whatever activities that kept her distracted, and distracted was what she needed to be in order to make it through a whole day.

Sometimes, Kelly, one of her closest and most caring friends, would tell her that she was working towards a burn-out if she wouldn't stop. But Bella would smile, shake her head no, and tell her not to worry.

Tonight, however, she was dressing up to go out. She felt both excited and nervous about it. After relentless inquiries, Bella had finally caved and would join her four friends for dinner and the movies.

Bella's apartment for once was bursting with life. Laughter and jokes filled her living room, as the girls applied make-up, while Matt gave his opinion about it. He had a very keen eye for beauty after all, or so he claimed. All the preparations ended up being fun as they tried on different outfits.

"Now this is a Bella I'd like to see more often." Megan playfully nudged her, and handed her a pair of white rhinestone strap sandals. "They will look awesome with your jeans."

Taking one look at the heels of those sandals, Bella was glad for taking her yoga lessons. It had helped her get rid of her coordination and balance issues, but still, walking in heels wasn't something she felt very comfortable doing. However, when she saw that Matt was clapping his hands and seemed extremely pleased with her appearance, she decided to go along with it. Their laughter was simply contagious, and she could not help but join in. The evening promised to be easy going and fun filled.

One last look in the mirror told her that she looked pretty good. She was surprised what her friends had accomplished with some make-up and those jeans, which were fitting her perfectly. On top of that Matt had put his magical hands on her hair, and had it styled in a straight chin bob. She was ready to go.

At the movies, she saw a young couple that was so much in love. The woman was pregnant and the man constantly had his hand on her belly. Bella didn't want to but she had to look at them over and over again.

A small part of her had wished that Jake had gotten her pregnant. After all, they had unprotected sex. It was a selfish wish, she knew that. The bigger part of her had been scared. She'd be a single mom without a college diploma. What could she possibly give her child but her love? It wasn't that she could go and tell Jake he had fathered another child. A couple of days later, she'd gotten her period and that was it. Bella believed it was better this way.

Her friend's voice snapped her out of her thought. "Bella? What are you waiting for? Let's go inside!" Kelly linked arms with her and dragged her into the theater.

The movie was only okay. Bella just gave it enough attention that she could laugh and comment at the right places. The point was to keep herself distracted so she wouldn't sit at home and wallow in misery. After the movies, they decided to visit a bar right around the corner to chill out for a little while.

"I swear, Bella. That guy over there is looking at you the whole time," Kat said at some point, nudging her.

Bella shrugged. "You know I don't care, Kat."

"He looks handsome, you know..." Her friend giggled, as she continued to sip from her cocktail. Without being asked for further information, she started to describe Bella's admirer, "He's got blond hair and a slightly tanned skin. He's slim and well dressed."

"Kat..." Bella drawled, irritated, but Kat laughed it off and slipped from her bar stool, walking over to the billiard table.

Bella started to feel uncomfortable and kept her head down, staring at her amber-colored drink in her glass, quickly getting lost in her own thoughts, when she felt someone walking up to her. "Hi," a male voice said, and the movement next to her told her this someone had sat down next to her. "I'm Patrick. Do you come here often?"

.

~oOo~

.

Since the day she had met Patrick, something changed in Bella's life. Patrick's easy going attitude made her realize that she might give 'dating' a try. She might as well try and make the best out of it. She knew that she didn't look for a long, intense relationship or even love. Being with Patrick simply provided a new form of distraction from her heartbreak.

Even when she never would admit it out loud, her confidence got kicked right back down after she had worked so hard to get her pride and self-worth back after she finally had left Edward. But what had happened with Jake... If he had _really_ wanted her, and not only wanted to fuck her for one night, wouldn't he have made her stay?

So she agreed to go out on a few dates with Patrick and eventually shared not only a first kiss with him, she also let him talk her into sleeping with him. Bella felt nothing. No warm fuzzy feeling. No fireworks. No passion. She never even was anywhere near having an orgasm.

Patrick broke up with her a couple of weeks later, stating she wasn't really into it, or into him for that matter, and she actually felt relieved.

After Patrick, she dated Adam, a student from her anatomy class, seeking the attention and physical closeness. It felt good to be wanted. Adam made her feel special. She actually felt attractive and sexy in a way. She also liked the conversations she had with him. He knew how to draw her out of her shell and how to make her laugh on occasion. It seemed like Adam was on a mission, and she truly appreciated his good intentions.

In many aspects he was a good match for her. She enjoyed his company, her friends liked him well enough and he seemed to really want to make their relationship work, but like with Patrick she felt no sparks, no passion when she slept with him.

She knew better. There was no chance that he or anyone else for that matter could ever come close to Jacob. She still dreamt of him and she treasured these dreams, they seemed to keep her sane. She couldn't deny how much she still was in love with him, and that made it impossible for her to open up to Adam completely. She was not ready to let go of Jake.

As on many of their evenings together, Adam started his advances with a wink and his hand traveling up her thigh.

"Adam, I'm not in the mood right now," Bella murmured distractedly. "I still need to finish my paper." She shoved his hand from her leg and concentrated back on her book.

"Come on, baby," Adam said, scooting closer. "I have been horny all evening. You look so sexy in that short skirt. I have waited for you to finish that damn thing for three hours, already. What takes you so long?" He began kissing her behind her ear and being as impatient as ever, took her hand and guided it to his hardened member.

"Adam," Bella hissed, annoyed and pulled her hand away, flinging her pen at her notebook. "You could just wait, you know?"

He cocked an eyebrow, grinned at her and tightened his grip on her legs, trying to spread them open further. "I want you now, Bella," he stated and pulled her in his lap.

With a resigned sigh, she leaned into his kiss, trying really hard not to think of anything or anybody else right now. She hated how she seemed to not be able to feel what she wanted, what she needed to feel.

Adam was trying his best to get her to open up and enjoy his body as much as he enjoyed hers. Soon, she felt Adam slide in and out of her, breathing heavily into her face. It was hard not to simply stare up to the ceiling and count out loud all the cracked ceiling tiles, until this was over.

They suddenly got disturbed by her phone's persistent ringing.

"Wait up, Adam," Bella said and tried to slip out of Adam's arms. "This could be important."

"Almost there, babe." he grunted, and roughly pumped into her two more times, releasing himself quickly, without concerning himself about her needs and completely ignoring her mumbled complaint.

As soon as she felt him stop, she rolled out from under him, leaving him to find his own napkin and dispose of his condom. She was too pissed at him for being a prick in bed - _again_ \- to even remotely care.

She quickly hobbled to her desk and pulled her phone out of her bag. The phone stopped ringing until she finally found it. "Damn it," Bella cursed. Feeling the chilly air, she went back to the bed and grabbed her sheet not really caring about Adam's his call of protests

She realized the relationship with Adam would never work out, and all of her anger unloaded. She picked up his tee shirt and threw it at him, his jeans followed, then his shoes. "There's the door. I've had enough of you!" she yelled. "Leave! We are _so_ done!"

Adam took his clothes and put them on in haste. "What's gotten into you?"

Bella growled. "You! that's what!"

The phone started ringing again, and she checked the screen impatiently. She didn't recognize the caller ID, but whoever was calling, it seemed to be important. A little tingle went down her spine.

"Let's talk this out, Bella. Whatever I did to upset you, I'm sorry, you know," Adam said, but Bella silenced him with a dead glare.

"Out. Now!"

She closed and locked the door behind him, and hesitantly put the phone to her ear. "Hello?"

"Hey," a female voice at the other end of the line said, causing Bella to instantly feel dizzy as she felt her blood draining from her head. She knew that voice all too well.

"It's Leah. I think we need to talk!"

.

~oOo~

.


	14. Hostage of Love - New Developments

**A/N: Just a brief clarification on the time frame of our recent developments. Please keep the following in mind: **

§ _Bella comes to Forks for a visit at Christmas, 2 ½ years after she left._ _Yuma's 3 months old at that time._

§ _During mating season (1 ½ years after Bella's wedding) Jacob gets Leah pregnant, and Yuma is born._

§ _The last chapter ended 3 months after the fateful encounter between Jake and Bella. Jake went into depression for about 3 months until Leah finally intervenes and apologizes to him._

§ _This chapter is another two months later. Yuma's now 8 months old. It's five months since Bella ran away again._

**Please keep in mind the time laps between Jake and Bella at the moment. This chapter actually is before Leah calls Bella. **

_**Thank you to our chapter betas JUL5857 and Joanne Swift. **_

**Hostage of Love**

**Chapter 13**

_**New Developments**_

_I am moving on_

_reaching toward my hopes and dreams_

_It has taken me far too long_

_to reach this place, it seems_

_My fears may try to hold me back_

_To try and block my way_

_But with courage and faith in my heart_

_I will get there come what may_

_The road will be a long one,_

_And it may be rocky, too_

_But when I reach this place in time,_

_My dreams could all shine through_

_I am coming nearer to my goals_

_And my excitement grows_

_The plans I have made will soon be real_

_Along with the destiny I chose_

_Though I have been tossed and turned in life's storms_

_I will surely see a brighter dawn_

_I'm no longer held back by my fears_

_I'm finally...Moving On_

_by Alan Murray_

~oOo~

_She closed and locked the door behind him, and hesitantly put the phone to her ear. "Hello?"_

_"__Hey," a female voice at the other end of the line said, causing Bella to instantly feel dizzy as she felt her blood draining from her head. She knew that voice all too well._

_"__It's Leah. I think we need to talk!"_

~oOo~

He woke up with his hand wrapped around himself, pumping away. He groaned by the feeling, his head spinning with lust, still aware of the vivid images of his dream. He gripped his hard length with more force, thinking about Bella riding him hard and fast, her tits bouncing with each thrust of his hips.

He groaned again and sped up the movement of his hand, imagining driving into her with no restraint. She would moan, and pant, and scream his name above him, begging him to let her come, her wet hair clinging to her face, neck and shoulders...

"Fuck-" Jacob jerked up into his hand and came hard, his release shooting out of him in heavy spurts.

He lay there for a while, waiting for his hammering heart to calm down. From the window, he saw the first rays of light. At least he had gotten six hours of sleep before he had to start patrolling. He got up and took a shower, washing away the remnants of his dream.

"Five fucking months!" He angrily scowled at his reflection in the mirror, while running the razor over his chin. "Five. Fucking. Months, Black! This has to stop!" His hands started shaking and he grabbed the razor too tight, nicking his skin. "Shit!" He was too damn agitated once again. How in the world could he stop his dreams?

His skin was healed seconds later. He washed the remaining shaving foam off his face and went to get himself some coffee. Then he grabbed a shirt and his cut-offs, tied it around his ankle and phased, relieving Jared and Seth from their patrol duty.

Jacob would be alone until Embry shared this shift with him in about half an hour. It felt good to let his wolf out again, but patrolling had become dull as vampire activity was sparse these days. It used to distract him from his brooding, but now there was nothing that would stop his trail of thoughts for long.

_Damn, Jake,_ Embry grumbled as he phased in and was greeted by his Alpha's bad mood. _You need a woman and fast. You haven't had a real fuck since Leah and..._

Jacob caught a glimpse of his own memories in his brother's head. Bella writhing under him, her head thrown back in ecstasy.

Jacob growled. _Stop thinking about her!_

_Sorry, bro._ Embry apologized good-naturedly. _Actually, we're hitting that new club in Port Angeles tonight. You want to come?No, I take that back, you neeeed to come, Jake! I promise you'll have a good time and I'll make sure that you get a little eh...distraction, as well._ Embry thought of heated kisses, and a woman's legs wrapped around his waist.

Jacob rolled his eyes and ran faster. _How many times have you asked me to hang out with you already, Em? And how many times do I need to tell you that I have no interest in hanging out in clubs or bars? Get it into your head! You don't give up do you?_ _Besides, I don't drink anymore, remember?_

He was annoyed. Couldn't they all just leave him the fuck alone? Today he had something much more important on his agenda than going out and getting laid. _Look, Embry, I'm spending time with Yuma today and I have been excited about this all week. I can't wait to spend some quality time with my little fella. There is no way I'm going anywhere today, so stop bugging me._

_Okay, okay._ Embry relented, and Jacob sighed with relief - too soon. He wasn't off the hook just yet. _How about tomorrow? Jake, didn't I tell you that this is a veeeery special weekend!_ –Embry showed him visions of legs in heels, red-colored lips wrapped around a straw, sipping on a milky-white cocktail- _I promise to leave you alone if you come this one time. Come on, Jake! I swear to you, you won't regret it. Just join us on Saturday and you can even sip your Coke, I don't care, alright?_ Embry said, trying to catch up with his Alpha.

Jacob ignored his brother and continued patrolling the area. There had to be some leech somewhere...

Embry bumped into his side.

_Listen, there is this special All-Girl band playing this weekend_ –Embry thought of a slender blonde singer breathing into a microphone- _They have played there before and I am not kidding you, they want to fuck me and Quil. You HAVE to come!_

_Last time they performed, Quil almost lost his shit right there at our table, I swear to you! You can't even imagine how hot and ready these chicks are._ –Jacob got to see the singer's hand running through Quil's hair. Her leg propped up on his chair. Her knee grazing his chest-

_Besides, your frequent 'dreams' drive all of us crazy._ Embry grunted, jumping aside when Jacob pushed his muzzle hard into his flank.

_This is none of your beeswax, Call!_ Jacob growled, starting to get irritated.

_You need to get laid and that's that, Jake!_ Embry responded, totally unaffected that he was pissing his brother off. _Hey, look at it this way, I am taking care of your health! You need to fuck someone. You need a real woman under you. That's all I am saying!_

_Alright! Just shut up now, I am going this one time only, but don't you dare tell me that I need to fuck someone! You better promise me to leave me the hell alone after tomorrow night, Em._ Jacob turned around and blocked his brother's path. Staring him in the eyes, he threatened, _And if you won't I'll Alpha order you to shut up. We clear?_

Embry nodded, alternating between feeling smug and intimidated, and they continued their patrol without exchanging another word or thought.

As soon as their patrol had ended, Jacob hurried over to Leah's and Sam's place to join them for their weekly Saturday breakfast. It became a regular routine, spending time with Leah, Sam and Yuma every Saturday and he really enjoyed these few hours.

He had to meet up with a customer in about two hours, showing him around a house, and he had promised Leah to take Yuma for the afternoon.

This was his most special time. Leah only recently had allowed him to spend time with Yuma alone. He totally understood her hesitation before; he had been such a prick. He would never allow himself to stoop that low again, not ever. His son meant the world to him and he had lots to prove to him and to Leah.

He was really looking forward to his afternoon with Yuma. He had planned on taking a long walk with him along the beach and he wanted to take him over to Billy's place. He had to smile thinking about the Rocking Horse he had started to make for his son. He couldn't wait to see his face once he completed it. He wished he had more time to work on it, but his work schedule was pretty crazy. Not that he was complaining. He had made some good commissions lately.

As they were gathered around the kitchen table, Yuma was sleeping in his room down the hall, Leah eyed Jacob constantly, which made him a bit nervous. He better just get over it and let her know the "news." "I am going out tomorrow night," he told Leah hesitantly, while chewing on a huge forkful of Leah's delicious omelet, only to notice a huge grin on her face.

"What?" he said. "It means nothing. It's only for one night anyway. I just want to get Embry off my ass is all."

"Sure, Jacob, I _heard_ all about that." Leah bit her cheeks to keep from smiling; trying to look all innocent while he knew exactly what she was referring to.

_Damn, she actually dared to snicker now,_ Jacob thought as he watched Leah intently scrubbing a pan. Sam pretended to read, but Jacob saw his shoulders shake with silent laughter. _Don't play with me, Sam. I can see you trying to hide that idiotic smile behind the newspaper._

_Damn pack mind!_ He was sure Sam had a look into Embry's mind again. Not that Embry ever tried not to think about his misery.

Jacob grew more uncomfortable by the minute and decided that he was full, just to get out of this kitchen. "Thanks for the breakfast," he muttered and went down the hall to check on his son. Yuma's room seemed to be a much safer place right now he was sure.

_Damn these dreams to hell and back! Why can't I get her out of my head?_ he fumed, but then he heard Yuma call out.

"Hey, you're awake!" Jacob said, and opened Yuma's door, greeted by the hugest smile ever. His heart leaped up into his throat. Yuma rolled around and sat up in his crib, stretching his chubby arms straight at him. Clearly he was happy to see his daddy and wanted to get out of his bed as fast as possible.

"Come here, champ!" He hurriedly picked his baby up, peppering several kisses on his sweet face, then bubble blowing kisses onto his neck, causing Yuma to laugh out loud and wiggle in his arms happily. _Now, this is the best sound in the world,_ he thought with love swelling his heart.

"Guess what we are going to do today?" Jacob asked, throwing Yuma up in the air, causing more laughter from him. "We are going to visit Grandpa Billy," he announced. "I'll be back in about two hours, and then, off we go."

He placed Yuma on his arm, letting him hop up and down, while supporting his back. "Now let's get you something to eat and tell mommy to pack some of your things." Yuma squealed and showed off his four small teeth, which made him look cute as a button.

His heart swelled immediately with pride and love for his son. "Let's get you some food, champ," he cooed to Yuma while slowly walking back to the kitchen.

At 2:00 PM on the dot, Jacob was at 200 Willow Ave, waiting for his customer to show up. He was dressed in his usual job attire, white dress shirt, black jeans, and black boots.

Minutes later, a white Mustang turned around the corner and a young man, not much older than himself, climbed out. They shook hands and he led the man inside the house. During the tour through the house, the man told him that he was planning to move in with his girlfriend who was finishing college by this summer.

_Must be nice,_ he thought, feeling a sting in his heart. He wondered if he would ever be that lucky again to find someone he would want to spend his life with. He seriously doubted it. He clamped down on that thought, not allowing himself to go there again. He had a job to do right now and later he'd be with Yuma. There was no time for brooding.

As soon as the meeting was over he drove back to Sam and Leah's. He was relieved that his client had liked the house, and it looked good that he would close another deal this month.

~oOo~

"You can call me any time, Jake," Leah said as she gave him a bag with several sets of spare clothes, diapers, some toys, and two bottles of milk. "I pumped some of my milk again, when Yuma gets hungry, and doesn't want to eat his cereal. He's a little picky sometimes and prefers my milk. Remember, you have to put these into the fridge as soon as you get home, Jake, so the milk won't spoil."

"Leah, you explained this to me the last couple of times already. I still remember, okay." Jacob called out starting to feel annoyed. He wouldn't let Yuma starve for God's sake.

"And don't heat it in the microwave," she went on regardless. "Just place the bottle under the hot faucet for a couple of minutes; and do remember Jake, you have to check the temperature before you give it him, you got that?"

Jacob nodded and decided to just stay quiet, as long as she just would leave already. Finally, Leah was done explaining to him everything in the slightest detail.

Carefully, Jake put the car seat in his truck and buckled Yuma in. Leah and Sam both kissed Yuma one last time as Yuma looked around with wide eyes. As soon as Jake drove down Leah's driveway, Yuma started to squeal and laugh.

Jake knew how much his son enjoyed going out and so he was starting to sing some nursery rhyme to him. "The Itsy Bitsy spider went up the water spout...down came the rain and washed the spider out...up came the sun and...," Yuma's eyes focused on his face intently now, cracking a huge smile with clear recognition, as he immediately tried to sing as well.

Naturally, nobody would be able to understand anything he said, but his cute baby-squeals were adorable. Jacob enjoyed every moment of it.

As he drove home, all the while animatedly singing and telling Yuma what he was seeing outside, "Look, birdies, oh, biiiig trees... Oh wow! Yuma, look, I see a bunny rabbit," he kept telling Yuma. He had to laugh when he noticed how excitingly Yuma was swinging his arms around and how cute he sounded trying to talk, as he was pointing his chubby finger in all directions.

Gosh, he loved entertaining him, but truly, Yuma was entertaining _him_ a great deal. Today, he felt happier than he had in a very long time.

"Now, let me quickly change my clothes and then we will play a little," Jacob said when they arrived at his house.

He walked into his bedroom, sat Yuma down in the middle of his large bed, gave him one of his wooden toys, and went to his dresser, pulling a fresh tee shirt and a fresh pair of jeans out of his closet.

By the time, he'd slipped out of his dress shirt Yuma had crawled towards the edge of the bed. Jacob leaped forward, saving his son from tumbling of the bed. "Whoa, easy there, Yuma. Didn't know you were that fast already."

He put Yuma down on the floor, which seemed to be a much safer place at the moment. "There, now you can play a little." There was not much of a chance that something could happen to him on the floor.

Jacob turned around to fetch his jeans. As he pulled them on, he heard a crash. He whirled around and found Yuma sitting by his nightstand, the cable of the bedside lamp still in his hand. Yuma had yanked on the cord and caused the lamp to crash down. Yuma looked at Jacob in shock. He took in a huge breath, opened his mouth and started to cry.

"Oh no, Yuma... Did you get scared?" Jacob picked up his frightened son and pulled him to his chest, hugging him comfortingly. "It's okay, honey. Ssshh, come on... Don't cry." He walked through his room, caressing and rocking Yuma gently.

Slowly, Yuma's crying subsided, and Jacob realized he had to make his house baby safe, now that Yuma hopefully would come over more frequently and since he had gotten so active.

~oOo~

Once he arrived at Billy's place, he parked his truck and carried Yuma inside. "Here we go, young man. This will be a blast, what do you say? Your grandpa will be so happy that I brought you along for a visit," he cooed, while kissing Yuma's hands gently.

"Grandpa, we're here," Jake called out towards his dad, who sat on the porch already, waiting for them.

"Where is my big boy?" Billy said, while grinning from ear to ear. He stretched his arms out, waiting for Yuma to get close enough so he could pick him up from his car-seat.

Jacob noticed how happy Yuma looked seeing his granddad.

Yuma didn't hesitate for a moment. There was no stranger anxiety; he immediately wanted to go to Billy. Jacob knew that Billy had been around Yuma regularly, and he was very happy about that. Unlike himself, Billy had not flaked out of his Grandpa duties.

He shook his head. Nope, he was not going to go there right now. Things had changed, and he'd made sure to show his dad that he could be a good father to Yuma. Jacob pushed Billy's wheelchair into the house, Yuma riding on Billy's knees.

What a picture it provided; he couldn't stop smiling at the pair. Yuma's hands went straight to his father's face, grabbing him tightly with his chubby hands and Billy blowing on them, playfully shaking his head back and forth, causing Yuma to burst out in giggles.

"So, Yuma, what would you like to do this afternoon?" Billy finally asked his grandson. "Hmm... Let's see what our options are. We could play in the living room until your father is finished fixing us something to eat. Or, we could go into Forks. They have a small Town Fair going on today."

Jake smiled at his dad, knowing he was only joking about him fixing a meal. D_amn_, at least he hoped so. His cooking skills had never been great, and that hadn't changed since he'd moved out and into his own house. Most of the time, he simply heated up frozen meals or ordered pizza.

"The fair sounds great, dad," he answered. He was sure Yuma would enjoy a ride on the merry-go-round. Jacob had no problem squeezing his large frame into one of those horse carriages even when it would make him look like a fool.

"I thought so, son," Billy said with a smile around his lips.

~oOo~

Finally, after Jacob was laden with a big teddy bear, which he had won at one of the shooting booths, and after he acquired an arm full of candy and popcorn, they decided to call it a day. All three of them were exhausted but happy.

It had been an afternoon filled with love, play and laughter, and it hadn't taken long for Yuma to fall asleep as soon as was put back into his car-seat. They headed back to La Push to drop Billy off first.

Jacob helped Billy to get into the house, as he caught him yawning. He playfully elbowed him lightly and joked, "Time for babies and old men to go to sleep."

"I'll show you old man!" Billy laughed and pushed his wheelchair forward, ramming his son in the ankles.

"Man, why do you always have to do this," Jacob complained, but laughed as well, and bent down to give his dad a hug. "Thanks, dad. I had a great day. Feels good to be back..." He said when he felt Billy's knuckles on his head. "Ouch." He laughed. "That's it. I'm out of here, and hey, don't eat all that candy at once!"

"Sure. Sure." Billy said. "Go and get Yuma home. Hope to see you around soon, son. I really missed you, you know? Tell Leah and Sam I said 'hi' for me will you?"

"Will do," Jacob promised Billy and hurried back to his truck, smiling. As he climbed into his truck, his cell phone rang. "Leah, I'm on my way," he said, answering his phone, and started his truck.

"We're stuck here, Jake. There was an accident and the road is closed," Leah informed him, sounding anxious. "I don't know how long it will take. Do you think you can keep Yuma for a little while longer?"

"It's okay, Leah. Of course I can keep Yuma. Are you alright?" Jacob turned to check on Yuma, who started to stir and stretch.

"We're okay. Don't worry about us. How's Yuma right now?"

"I think Yuma's about to wake up. We were at the fair in Forks, and he fell asleep on the way back to La Push. What do you suggest I should do with him now?" Jacob was confident he could entertain Yuma a while longer before Leah got home.

"Shall I phase and run home, I can do that, you know?" Leah sounded really worried, and Jacob heard Sam tell her to calm down.

"No. You really don't need to. We're getting along very well," Jacob answered, and then Leah instructed him to draw Yuma a bath, feed him his cereal and prepare him for bed.

"Jake, call me if need be. Or ask Sue to come over when he gives you trouble."

Suddenly, Sam was on the phone. "Jake, I'm sure you'll handle it quite well. Leah's just being a little paranoid. So don't worry, she'll be just fine, man." He laughed and ended the call.

Jacob snorted and shoved his phone into his jeans pocket. Then he said to his son, who was looking at him sleepily, "Hey, little man. Did you have a good nap? Mommy will come home a little later, but guess what? Daddy will stay for your bath." _Bathing Yuma would be interesting._ He felt slightly nervous about it, but was determined to complete this task just perfectly. After all, how hard could it be to bathe a little baby anyway?

The evening then turned out...interesting. Jacob brought Yuma inside and played with him for a while. When Yuma got cranky, he'd tried to feed him, but the cereal landed everywhere but inside his son's stomach, and a bath was now desperately needed - for both of them.

So Jacob had filled the big tub instead of Yuma's tiny one and they took their bath together. First he stripped all of his clothes off then he took Yuma's off. The warm water definitely seemed to sooth both of them. It felt so good being submerged in the water and watching Yuma all happy. In fact, Yuma got all hyper and made quite a mess, splashing the water all over the place. Of course, Jacob might have helped him a little with the splashing.

When they were finished, they had gotten water all over the floor. There would be a lot of cleaning up to do once Yuma would be asleep. He'd better hurry with that before Leah and Sam got back.

Jacob wrapped his son in a big towel, slipped into his jeans one-handed while balancing Yuma on one hip, then carried him into his room to find him his Schlafi (PJ's). Yuma was _really_ cranky by now. He wiggled and squirmed around, clearly announcing his displeasure on the top of his voice and making his father break out in sweat.

"Are you hungry? You want me to warm up your milk? Mommy said you'd prefer her milk over the cereal..." With Yuma situated on his hip, Jacob went into the kitchen to get the milk out of the fridge. Luckily, Leah had some extra milk stored on the top shelf. He heated the milk under the hot stream of water from the faucet, just like Leah had told him he should.

Jacob made himself comfortable on the couch with his still protesting son in his arms. He leaned back and smiled, when Yuma reached for the bottle and greedily pulled it to his mouth. "Boy, you sure are hungry," he spoke softly, getting a little sleepy as well.

Once Yuma finished drinking, Jacob remembered that he needed to burp him, and he placed Yuma over his shoulder, gently rubbing his back.

With a sigh, Yuma softened against his body, his tiny fingers playing with the neckline of his daddy's shirt. Then came the burp, and Yuma contently snuggled against him.

"There... Good job, son," Jacob told Yuma lovingly and placed him back onto his chest. He grabbed a blanket from the foot of the couch and spread it over both of them. Yuma almost instantly fell asleep, his father's heart beat providing Yuma with comfort and security.

Kissing his son good night, Jacob reflected back on the great day he had shared with his dad and Yuma. He was determined to continue on this very path.

His eyes drooped as he grew tired. It was just too comfortable laying here with Yuma snuggled in his arms. He told himself to get up and clean the bathroom and the kitchen, but he didn't want to risk waking up Yuma and he was so, so tired. A tiny nap wouldn't hurt, or would it?

His son's soft snoring slowly lulled him to sleep and when he drifted off, his last coherent thoughts were with Bella and how much he wished she could be here with him.

~oOo~

When Leah and Sam came home, they found Jake fast asleep. They weren't particularly quiet, but Jacob still didn't hear them. He had his arms protectively wrapped around Yuma, his long legs stretched out, his head lolled back at what looked like an uncomfortable angle.

Leah approached slowly, while her heart softened at the sight. Sam followed close behind her and Leah noticed that he was about to kick Jake's feet off the couch when Leah shushed him right away. "Wait, Sam, just look how peaceful they look," she told him quietly.

"He looks beat. And the house is a mess...It seems Yuma kept him quite busy." Sam walked into the kitchen and started cleaning up the mess Jacob and Yuma had left behind.

Leah went to the bathroom and found a similar mess. She quickly hung up the bathroom rugs and towels and pulled the bathtub plug, before going back into their living room.

She took another look at Jacob's face, recognizing that even in his sleep Jacob looked haunted and tense. She didn't like it one bit. She cared for him so deeply. She felt remorse bubble up in her chest once more for the unfortunate events that took place that fateful morning when Yuma had gotten sick and she discovered that Bella had spent the night with Jacob.

She had come to realize that she probably was overreacting that morning but she also remembered how hurt and mad she had felt that he had let _her_ come into his life again, after everything that she had done to him over 2 ½ years before.

She sighed heavily. If only she could do something to make him feel better. She'd apologized and he'd forgiven her, but she felt it wasn't enough.

Leah was beginning to fear that maybe he was too hung up on Bella to ever fall in love with another woman. The day they she forced him to clean up and talk to her she'd suggested he call Bella and clear things up, maybe even try to see her to talk things out. He'd gotten mad again and started to yell at her. He'd never run after her ever again, he'd said. She'd leave it at that, for now.

"Are you ready, Leah?" Sam asked, pulling her out of her thoughts, and came to stand behind her. "Let's go to bed, darling."

Leah leaned into Sam's chest as he wrapped his arms around her. "Yeah, let's get some sleep. She bent down to pick up Yuma so she could get him fed one more time before she put him down for the night.

As soon as Leah touched Yuma, Jacob started to growl menacingly and his hold on Yuma tightened. "Ah, hush, Jake. It's only us," Leah said, but pulled her hands back. She smirked and leaned down to hiss into Jacob's ear, "Stop growling at your pup's mommy, you overprotective mutt!"

"What?...Who?" Jacob startled and opened his eyes, looking around him a little confused, while hiding little Yuma in his chest. Finally, he focused on Leah and Sam. "Oh. You're home," he said. "Did I fall asleep?"

He looked down at Yuma, stroking his soft cheek oh-so-gently. "Okay, my little fella. It's time for you to go to bed, and it's definitely time for me to go home now. It's been such a long day but don't worry, Daddy will come get you soon again, okay?" Jacob gently whispered into Yuma's hear, while kissing it softly, then he looked up at both Leah and Sam with questioning eyes.

"Okay, if you like," Leah answered. "Just call us in a couple of days."

~oOo~

On his drive home, Jacob remembered that he had promised Embry to go out with him the next day. The mere thought of it gave him the shivers, he really did not want to go. _Better get it done and over with,_ he thought with a frown. _But Em better stay the fuck away from me after tomorrow..._


	15. Hostage of Love - Trying

**Disclaimer:****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. The authors are in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: Thank you guys for continued reading our story. Things will start to develop in a different direction soon, so let's see how things will pan out. We hope you'll enjoy!**

**Thank you to our chapter betas JUL5857** **and joanne swift**

**Hostage of Love**

**Chapter 14**

**"Trying"**

**_Wolfsheim, Kein Zurück_**

_(English translation)_

_NO RETURN_

_Do you still remember how it used to be_

_Our childhood - wonderful_

_The world so pretty and colorful_

_And then one day you realize_

_not every goodbye means_

_that we will meet again_

_Go ahead. Go ahead._

_There is no return_

_and what there's now can never be undone_

_time is running out_

_What's done is done_

_What is now will never be again_

_The one word you said,_

_the one step you did_

_It was too much and_

_then it's done._

_All is over_

_What's done is done_

_What is now will never be again_

_And what seemed to be forever, suddenly is gone_

_Oh, if only_

_Only once_

_I could turn back time_

_'cause so much of this_

_what I know_

_I wish I never had seen_

_Your life is going round and round_

_Such a waste of time_

_Your dreams you kick it down the road_

_You have to live_

_But if not now - then when?_

_Because someday even a dream is too far away._

_On his drive home, Jacob remembered that he had promised Embry to go out with him the next day. The mere thought of it gave him the shivers, he really did not want to go. __Better get it done and over with,__ he thought with a frown. __But Em better stay the fuck away from me after tomorrow..._

_~oOo~_

He slept in, but woke up all hot and bothered after having another sex dream starring Bella. So he took matters in his own hands, literally, once again before getting up.

That had helped only a little, since he needed another round of jerking off in his shower as he still was hard and horny, but he didn't feel much more relieved when he got out of the shower, either.

He was annoyed to say the least. He hadn't had a real fuck in a very long time, several months in fact, and he'd never had any other women than Leah and Bella. As much as he couldn't imagine moving on, he needed an outlet. The sex wouldn't have to mean anything. He wouldn't even need to bother with dating, if he didn't want to.

After a quick breakfast, he quickly checked on Billy, who was more than happy to see Jacob on a regular basis again, and then he lazed through the rest of the day.

When it was time to meet up with Embry and Quil, Jacob dressed in faded blue jeans and a white tee. _That will have to do,_ _damn you, Embry!_

He couldn't believe he let Embry actually sucker him in to go to a bar and find a lay. _You need a real fuck,_ he had taunted. _I truly wish I could simply go on with my life and forget about her, everything would be so much easier all around._

He felt his foul mood return, but he decided quickly he better shake it off. That's all he needed to allow himself to fall back into that shitty mood and dwell on _her_ again.

Before he had another minute to think, he heard Embry's and Quil's arrival. He was sure that there was not one single person in the entire La Push area who did not hear them arrive - the music screamed at him from a mile away. Their laughter echoed through the woods and as they came closer, he even heard their lame jokes.

With screeching tires they skirted right in front of him, dust flying everywhere. "Fuck, I can't wait for this evening to be over with, and don't you dare say a word right now, Call," Jake warned as soon as they jumped out of their car. "Damn, look at me, you morons," Jake barked at them, as he needed to dust his shirt and Jeans off.

Embry slapped him on his back. "Dude, this will be epic, is all I am saying, so calm down," he quickly said when he noticed the unnerved gleam in his brother's eye.

"Sure, sure," he responded calmer. Jacob recognized Embry and Quil's genuine excitement and anticipation to spend the evening together. It had been a very long time indeed since their last night out.

"Jake, you won't regret it. Don't you trust your oldest friends, man?" Quil grinned at him, pure mischief in his eyes.

How could he not roll his eyes at that comment? "Alright. Listen guys, I will just try to enjoy myself, but don't push me too much, is all I am saying, you hear?"

They drove to Port Angeles, using his truck as he didn't intend to drink. Quil turned up his stereo to an ear deafening level and all three of them ended up singing "_Ayo Technology"_ by Milo. Jacob couldn't believe his ears as his brothers sang along with their screeching voices.

"She work it girl, she work the pole. She break it down, she take it low. She's fine as hell, she's about the dough, Doin' her thing right on the floor.

"And money money she's makin'. Look at the way she's shakin'. Make you wanna touch her, wanna taste her. Have you lustin' for her. Goin' crazy, face it..."

_You got to be kidding me._ Jacob simply had to laugh out loud. He was now convinced that these two guys were trying to kill him with their singing.

He did indeed miss the times he used to spend with these two. Maybe there was a chance that he could forget for a few hours and let loose.

Inside the club it was noisy and way too crowded for Jacob's liking, the stench of sweat and alcohol bothering his nostrils. After they took their seats in a booth close to the stage, Quil and Embry were dying to see those hot female singers, and while Jacob nursed his Coke, his mind drifted again and he wondered, what the hell he was doing here anyway. As the evening proceeded he watched his friends rock it up on the dance floor, as he constantly dodged the advances of several girls trying to get him to dance as well.

When finally this all-girl band entered the stage, Quil and Embry were so thrilled, Jacob thought they had totally forgotten that he was even there, and so was about to go to the bar. He was annoyed by their crude shouts and cat-calls, and for once he didn't want to be associated with them.

"No way, man. Where do you think you're going?" Quil reached out and gripped his arm the second he sneaked out of the booth.

"Now look at those chicks, Jake. I bet the redhead there is sporting at least a D-cup." Embry said and gestured with his hands as if he was fondling that woman's boobs.

The singer with the large boobs caught Embry staring and gesturing. She tripled closer to the edge of the stage, sang at him and shook her chest to make her boobs shimmy.

Embry was salivating.

"You're acting worse than a thirteen year old teenager, man," Jacob hissed disgustedly.

Quil swiftly nudged him into his side and pointed towards the dance floor. "Jake, what about that leggy blonde over there? She's practically eye-fucking you ever since we got here."

Jacob took a look at the woman Quil was talking about. Heavy make-up covered her face, her nails were painted in a slutty red, and her skirt was so short, her ass was practically hanging out of it. He shuddered. "No thank you, Quil. I wouldn't touch her with a ten-foot pole. Not my type alright?"

"Not your type, Jake? What the fuck? Who cares? As long as she is willing to spread her legs for you, you need to hit it, man! I told you I will take care of you, you need to get laid."

He was so annoyed by this point he was about to explode. "I don't need the two of you to set me up. I'm damn well capable of finding me my own fuck." He flipped them off and sprinted to the bar to have another Coke before heading home. So much for staying calm and trying to enjoy his evening with those two morons.

He took a seat on one open bar stool and sat down, forcing the trembling in his arms and legs to stop. He ordered a fresh Coke, while scowling into his glass when it finally stood before him.

"What's got your pants in a twist, beautiful? You sure you don't need something stronger than that Coke?" a husky female voice asked, and a slender arm invaded his private space, shoving a filled shot glass in front of him.

"I don't drink," he grumbled roughly, and shoved the drink away without looking up.

"Is that right?" the voice asked, and he finally looked up, meeting the curious gaze of the female bartender. She had her bare arms propped up on the counter top, the position bringing his attention to her cleavage that was about to spill out of the low-cut shirt she was wearing. Her hair was dyed bright red with what looked like blue highlights streaked through, colorful tattoos covered her arms, neck and cleavage - she even had a tiny, intricate design tattooed on her left temple.

"Pity," she said and tossed the drink down her throat, before preparing drinks for some of her other waiting customers. Jacob focused back to his Coke, but couldn't stop casting a glance at her now and then. She was energetic as she bustled about, and she clearly didn't take shit from anyone. Several times she was hit on by men, but she brushed them of with a hard look or a snarly comment, and suddenly Jacob found himself intrigued with her.

Maybe she was the lay he was looking for. As soon as this thought entered his mind, he grew hard.

The next time she looked at him, he let his eyes wander over her body blatantly, and he shifted a little, adjusting himself not too discreetly.

She licked her lips, and put a little more sway in her steps while continuing serving her drinks. Finally, she came back to where he stood. "Actually...when I said you needed something stronger, I had something different in mind," she whispered into his ear while her tongue took a bold lick of his earlobe.

She brushed a strand of her hair out of her face. Her body language revealed that she definitely seemed interested, willing and hot enough.

He almost laughed at her comment, little did she know. He still was aggressive and in a foul mood. This combined with his horniness was a dangerous combination. She would be in for one hell of a ride. His cock twitched and stiffened even more as he thought about it.

He would not even try to hold back. He sensed that she would be able to take him easily enough. Yes, it might be worth it. He couldn't stand this pressure anymore as it was.

Jacob leaned in. His hot breath grazed her neck when he spoke, "The question is," he raised an eyebrow, "Can you handle me?" He watched her lick her lips in slow motion. He wanted those lips wrapped around his cock while ramming it deep into her throat.

"Listen..." she purred, and ran a finger over his forearm. "What's your name, beautiful?"

"Jay," he offered.

"Listen, Jay." She pointed toward several waiting customers. "I need to get those guys their drinks. Don't even move a muscle, darling."

He could smell her pussy, it took very little imagination to know how turned on she was.

His cock was now painfully hard as he tried adjusting its position in his jeans. Giving it a rub and a hard squeeze, bucking his hips off the stool. "When do you get off?" he asked roughly.

"Not before the morning, but I'll take my break now. See that door over there? Meet me there in about five minutes." She turned around and walked over to the other bartender, exchanging a few words with her.

Slowly he got up from his bar stool and headed toward the corner of the bar she had directed him to go. Walking had gotten damn difficult by now, his cock throbbed painfully in the confines of his jeans. He simply opened the button on his jeans, getting ready to zip it all down.

He opened the door and slipped through, stopping right in the middle of a tiny storage room. She followed him and locked the door behind her.

She stalked towards him on shiny black fuck-me heels, her eyes were clued to the bulge in his jeans. She moaned slightly as she slowly entered her index finger into her mouth, sucking on it. She was acting so ridiculous, but he was beyond the point of caring. He just needed to get off and fast, and hell, he was definitely willing to let her suck his dick when she so blatantly offered it.

By the scent of her pussy, she must be dripping wet and more than ready to spread her legs for him.

He leaned against the filthy wall, getting ready to open his zipper, as she hurried to join him. She was instantly on her knees, moving his hands out of the way and released his member.

Her eyes widened only for an instant. "Fucking huge," she praised. Then she took him all in.

She sucked him hard, and he bucked his dick all the way into her mouth. Her hands massaging his balls brought him close to unloading himself into her throat.

She felt him getting close, so she stood up fast and now he noticed that her other hand was pumping in and out of her own pussy.

Quickly, she turned around giving him access to where he wanted to go, her fingers now massaging her clit. He pulled out the condom Embry had shoved into his pocket earlier and slipped it onto his cock. Without hesitating for one more second, he rammed himself into her hard, fucking her like there was no tomorrow. She rubbed herself frantically and squeezed her tits, clearly enjoying the ride. When she came and clenched around him, he let go, too.

After he was done, he jerked his condom down, tossed it into a corner and zipped up his jeans. Without another word he returned to the bar. She had actually disgusted him, but most of all he was disgusted with himself. With one large gulp he emptied his Coke and turned to seek Em and Quil out.

He needed to get the fuck out of there.

~oOo~

As the weeks went by, his days always followed the same routine.

He'd go to work, go on his patrols and take care of pack business. He'd visit his dad, drive him to his doctor's appointments, occasionally clean the house for him or even cook him a meal. He'd be at Leah and Sam's several times a week to play with Yuma. Every other weekend, he'd have Yuma to stay over.

The weekends he had to himself he'd busy himself with work or patrolling. Now and then, he'd go out with Quil and Embry just to do them the favor, but he never looked for any girls anymore when he was out with them. He kept his 'episodes' to himself.

Lately, he had taken to running. It seemed a great outlet for his restlessness and after hours of running his body finally seemed exhausted enough so he would find some restless sleep for a couple of hours. The dreams, however, were always the same.

He knew he wore himself down, physically and emotionally. The excessive running and sleep deprivation eventually took a toll on him. Even though his body was more muscular then ever, his reflexes sharper then a razor blade, he looked and felt exhausted. He also was not eating well or even enough. He was not supplying himself with enough calories to sustain such a rigorous exercise routine, doubled with lack of sleep. He was abusing his own body. His features changed; his face looked haggard and his complexion looked grey. The circles under his eyes never seemed to fade as he pushed himself harder and harder.

He widened the radius of his patrols. While he didn't allow the pack to run past the perimeter outside of La Push and Forks, he'd cover an area that stretched into the borders of Canada and beyond.

If the physical pressure got too much and he needed to release the sexual tension he knew what to do and there was no shortage of willing women.

Somehow, there had to be a way to forget about _her_. He only had to try hard enough, and then he would eventually feel better. Or so he always hoped.

~oOo~

Before dawn broke, Jacob woke up to Yuma spread across his bed.

Jacob woke up a little bit more, blinking when a few stray rays of sunlight started to flicker over his face. He felt Yuma's tender weight on his chest. His little boy looked so content and peaceful. He smiled down at him gently.

The change in Yuma's breathing pattern told him, his baby was about to wake up. He watched his little boy move his fingers and clench his hands, before stretching his arms and legs. Then, Yuma squirmed, made the sweetest squealing noise and started to smack his lips. Opening his dark brown eyes, Yuma's head shot up. Their eyes locked.

"Dada," Yuma said, smiling all over his face and showing off his tiny teeth.

"Yeah, champ. Sleep well?" Jacob rasped, overwhelmed by Yuma's sunny greeting. And had the kid really called him _Daddy_? He got a little tight around his chest.

After some minutes of cuddling and playing with Yuma, he got up to get himself and Yuma ready for the day. He planned on spending it at the beach, and he wanted to visit his dad and show his son to Rachel, who had graduated from college and had returned to La Push a few days ago.

They had breakfast - Yuma had finally discovered that food was a great thing - and then Jacob brought his son to the beach right behind his house. It was always quiet there. The pack knew to leave him alone. It was one part of the beach he had all to himself. Tourists weren't allowed there, either, as this was private property of the rez.

He built a sandcastle for his son, whereas Yuma had more fun crawling through the sand and destroying what Jacob built, but it was a lot of fun for them anyway. Around noon, Yuma got tired and after the little man had his fill of tiny sandwiches, apples and cucumbers, he fell asleep on Jacob's knees.

As soon as Jacob stepped through the door of his father's house, he put on his happy face, even when he didn't feel like it He was surprised to see that Rachel had finally come down to LaPush for a weekend visit. It's been a very long time since she last showed up. He gave his sister a big hug and slapped his father on the back before dropping Yuma in his father's lap.

"Oh, my God! Look at you, Jake. You're huge. Rachel squealed. "And that must be my little nephew...Aren't you the cutest thing ever?" She dropped beside Billy's wheelchair and began joking with Yuma.

Only a couple of minutes later it was clear that Rachel had fallen in love with Yuma. However, Jacob caught her glancing back and forth between him and his son all the time.

Rachel eventually couldn't hide her curiosity anymore. "Are you okay, Jake? Dad told me you didn't take it very well when Leah broke up with you..." "

Jacob rolled his eyes. At least, nobody outside of the pack knew about his _encounter_ with Bella Swan and Jacob intended to keep it that way. He shrugged and played it down. "Well...you know how it is...first love and all..."

Rachel took Yuma in her arms and tickled him. Yuma giggled.

"And," Rachel asked without really looking at him. "Are you over her now? Did you find yourself a new girlfriend? Going steady with someone?"

Jacob laughed. It came out a little forced. He knew that Billy saw right through him, but Rachel didn't recognize it. "Nope, sis. Yuma is all I need right now."

"I've heard that you've been drinking for quite a while," she stated then.

"Sorry, sis, but you hightailed it first chance you got. I don't know where this concerns you," he spat angrily.

"Jacob," Billy warned and rolled closer, touching Jacob's arm slightly. "I don't want you to start a fight."

"I don't know what makes her think she can come here and nose about." Jacob felt his control slowly slip away. Only Yuma stopped him from getting loud and storm out of the house.

"You're my brother, Jake. I'm just concerned about you. That's all," Rachel said with a frown.

He narrowed his eyes. "You weren't too concerned when you left with Becca five years ago. You weren't too concerned leaving a thirteen year old to fend for himself and his sick father!" He was vibrating with anger.

"I had a scholarship, Jake! It would have been stupid to turn it down..." Rachel defended herself, and Jacob knew she actually was right. However, it didn't diminish his innermost feeling that everyone he cared about was only ever leaving him.

He rubbed his eyes tiredly and nodded, before taking Yuma from her and sitting down on the worn out sofa. "Yeah, yeah...whatever," he mumbled and buried his face in the crook of Yuma's neck, deeply inhaling his son's sweet, comforting scent.

~oOo~

When Jacob dropped Yuma back off at home, Leah once again noticed the dark circles under Jake's eyes. She tried to talk to him, but he gave her a tight smile and said he was okay. Leah didn't buy it. She knew him too well.

He truly had turned out to be such a caring and loving father to Yuma. She fully trusted him now to take care of their son.

Regardless of that, Jacob couldn't hide his pain from her. Leah knew he was trying to move on, but it was evident that he miserably failed in his attempt to do so. She knew he had gone out more than a few times within the last several weeks, but he would never reveal to anyone where he was going. This bothered her to no end.

Leah contemplated on more than one occasion to simply follow him, but Sam stopped her every time. Leah knew Sam was right when he had told her to stay out of Jacob's affairs, but she couldn't stop worrying about him.

Jacob exuded an aura of darkness and hopelessness that frightened her. Seeing him like this was even worse than his drinking binges months before. It all seemed to have started when Embry and Quil had taken him out. From that day on, Jacob seemed to disappear on his own regularly and refused to tell anyone where he was going.

She had cornered both of their brothers, demanding what the fuck went on that first night but both had sworn up and down that Jake had a great time and that he got to fuck some chick. Both had also vehemently denied that neither one of them knew where Jake spent his secret nights at.

She was not buying that Jake had enjoyed himself, then or now, if anything he seemed to be beating himself up - more so than ever before.

~oOo~

...He closed his eyes as the blond woman moved above him. His hands gripped her hips, pulling her up and down his shaft effortlessly, but her joy, her lustful writhing and moaning left him rather unfazed...

His body only temporarily relaxed, after his semi-regular fucks, but his state of mind was not in a very healthy place. He had hoped that finding willing girls and getting his much needed physical release his body seemed to be needing so badly would help him forget, or at least lessen his dreams. No such luck, _she_ was still haunting him in all of his dreams.

He wasn't enjoying those fucks, nor was he enjoying any of the willing participants. He could have had any of these girls if he cared to, but he could not even stand to think about such a possibility. _Hell no!_

There was only one girl he really wanted and needed, but he could not have her.

His frustration instantly at its peak again, caused his head to throb like a bitch.

"Fuck".

Carelessly, he shoved the sheet aside and got up to dress. The blonde was still laying there with a hopeful expression on her face that he might stay a little longer this time. He really did not care. In fact, he'd spent too many times with her already. He was so done fucking her. He didn't want to plant the slightest illusions in her head or in any of the other girls' heads, he fucked regularly.

...Lately, he had a hard time enjoying sex at all. The short moment when he let go and came, it didn't give him satisfaction anymore. Only a few moments of peace of mind and soothing numbness he was granted and then, he needed to move and leave feeling all cold inside, unsatisfied, and lonely...

He would drive further and further away from LaPush in the hope to find some kind of absolution, in the hope that maybe he would cross paths with someone he could care about, but he never did. Only very temporarily his body felt a little more relaxed, but his conscience always felt like shit. He knew it was all useless.

...Sometimes, when his fantasies became too vivid, he forgot that he was in bed with another woman. Sometimes, he came, calling out her name.

"Bella..."

The only joy he had left was Yuma. He was trying so hard to be there for his son and to provide for him in an appropriate way. But he also realized that Sam played an important role in Yuma's life, after all, he was there for him day and night. He knew Yuma loved Sam a lot.

He felt his whole life slipping by him, and he could do nothing to stop it.

~oOo~

Leah was standing by Jacob's front door, Yuma sitting on her hip and his large diaper bag hung over her shoulder. She was about to knock, when she suddenly heard him cuss. It came from the woods in the back of his house. She stopped in her tracks, listening intently, and finally decided to walk around the house to see what the hell he was up to now.

What she saw worried and angered her all the same. Jacob was chopping down a huge tree with an ax with unrestrained force, all the while cursing... _Bella_? His muscles were straining. His skin was glistening from perspiration. He looked worse then ever. She hadn't seen him without his shirt in a while and what she saw shocked her. He looked bad, real bad. His body, while still strong and muscular, seemed somehow more pronounced, thinner and sort of..._scrawny?_ How could that be? What was he doing to himself?

She feared he was destroying his body and soul, slowly but surely. And there she thought he was getting better. He had promised her, not too long ago, that he was getting much better. Only the other day, she tried to get some information out of him, when she noticed the dark circles under his eyes. He had assured her right away and told her he was just working too much lately.

He had been lying to her the whole time. It was now clear as day to her that he looked like a destroyed man, a man who did not care anymore, but she'd been too blind to recognize it in her hope he was making progress.

"Jake?" she called, but he didn't hear her. So she called again.

He turned around and looked at her. His eyes were bloodshot.

As soon as he recognized her with Yuma he quickly acted all normal. "Hey, Leah. You're here already? Hey, buddy. How you doing today?" He took Yuma and tickled him until he laughed.

But it was too late, she saw with her own eyes that he had been bullshitting her the whole time. _Better, my ass,_ she thought and so she proceeded to action. He was going to answer to her now.

"Jake. You and I... We're going to talk. Now," she belted out.

"What's wrong Leah? Is Yuma alright? Wait, I'll be right with you guys. Let me just finish getting some firewood."

"Stop, Jacob Black. Just stop. Let's go, I have some things to say to you." She whipped around and stormed into the house.

Reluctant, Jacob followed her into the house. He felt a little embarrassed as well that Leah saw him that way. He could only hope that she did not hear him cussing like a sailor, she had their son with her after all.

As soon as he entered the house Leah whipped around and gave him a look that would have put most people running for dear life. But it did not bother him in the least.

He turned his back to her, looking for Yuma. She had placed him into his bed. _Guess he was tired, my little boy,_ Jacob thought.

He had no choice then to turn back to Leah, his face getting hard once more.

"It's _her_ isn't it, Black?" Leah announced as soon as she had his attention.

Jake looked at Leah, anger and frustration reflecting on his face. "So what? It's none of your business, Leah. Stay out of it."

Jacob had turned away from her, only to turn around slowly and looking straight into Leah's eyes. "I try every single moment of every single day to forget her, alright? You have no idea what I go through, how hard it is to always pretend that I am over her, you hear? I am NOT over her. I am trying so hard to deal with this and nothing has worked yet, she is always right - THERE," he shouted as he stabbed his finger to his heart. "So now you know the truth, you can leave me the hell alone and do yourself a favor, save the pity for someone else," he demanded.

Leah was shocked at his open submission, she did not even know what to say to him right now. Her heart ached for him.

"Okay, Jake..." she said hesitantly. "Are you alright to keep Yuma this afternoon? I have some errands to run. I'll be back in a few hours." She knew that he needed some time to calm down now, and Yuma would help him do just that.

_Damn! He can't get Swan out of his mind, no matter what._ Leah's thoughts were running wild while she drove home. She had had this suspicion for a while now, but did not dare to even mention it to Sam yet. _She seems to be permanently burned into his heart and mind._

_Damn, if I wouldn't know better I'd think he imprinted on her. What to do now? If I only knew how to make it better for him._She needed to talk to Sam...soon.

~oOo~

_Bella hesitantly put the phone to her ear. "Hello"? "Hey," a female voice at the other end of the line said, causing Bella to instantly feel dizzy as she felt her blood draining from her head. She knew that voice all too well._

_"__It's Leah. I think we need to talk!"_

Her head started to pound. Her heart beat fast. She felt tight in her chest. Suddenly, she seemed to have difficulty breathing. _This couldn't be happening now,_ Bella thought. She had worked too hard to forget, too hard to get her mind straight again. She couldn't allow herself to feel weak and nervous only because she heard Leah's voice over the phone.

She very vividly remembered the morning Leah had waltzed into the house, claiming her stake at Jake. She remembered the humiliation she'd felt standing half-naked in front of Jake's wife or girlfriend. She knew she'd made a huge mistake sleeping with Jake, but she clearly didn't need Leah to harp on it once again.

"Leah, I really don't think this is necessary, I can't imagine what could be that important," she said coldly and wrapped her robe around her more tightly. Then, her heart just stopped for a moment as she thought of something that might be a reason for Leah to call her on her cell in the middle of the night.

"OMG, has something happened to Jake?" she asked with panic lacing her voice. Fear crept up her spine as small beads of cold sweat started to form on her face.

"Bella, calm down. Jake is fine. Well, kind off anyway... I can't take it anymore, he is killing me."

"What? I don't think this is my business, Leah!" Bella stuttered totally confused now. Was Leah honestly calling _her_ to seek advice on relationship problems?

"Look, I know this is awkward, but there has been a huge misunderstanding... and I also owe you an apology."

"An apology, Leah? For what exactly? I don't want to interfere with your relationship any longer, so I really don't get your call right now," Bella responded and sank down on her bed. Her knees were shaking so bad she feared they might give out under her.

"I thought you were happy that I'm finally out of the picture here. I only ever wanted Jake to be happy. I'm really sorry for what we have done to you." She bit down on her lip, fighting away the tears. She hated that Leah brought back all those memories she was trying so hard to forget.

"Bella, that's exactly it! Jacob and I were never together," Leah said. "I'm with Sam, you hear me...not Jacob. Jacob is a mess. He's been a mess from the moment you ran off again."

"Wait a minute...What? You're not with Jake? But...but how is this possible? You have a baby together and you came over and I thought...I thought..."

Bella's head throbbed and her heart was beating like a hammer in her chest. She closed her eyes, and then she remembered as clear as if she was still standing in his kitchen...

She felt his strong arms come around her, first very slowly and then he embraced her fiercely, almost crushing her in his hug. She closed her eyes and wished they never had to move for the rest of their lives. This felt so right, this felt like where she belonged all along.

**A/N: Please remember, we are on the Auction Block for the Annual Silent Author/Artist Auction on Tricky Raven, come check it out guys.**


	16. Hostage of Love - A New Friend

**Disclaimer:****All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. The authors are in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Thank You to our chapter beta****Joanne Swift.**

**Hostage of Love**

**Chapter 15**

**_A New Friend_**

**_Now and then I think of when we were together_**_**  
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die  
Told myself that you were right for me  
But felt so lonely in your company  
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember**_

_**You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness  
Like resignation to the end  
Always the end  
So when we found that we could not make sense  
Well you said that we would still be friends  
But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over**_

_"__Wait a minute...What? You're not with Jake? But...but how is this possible? You have a baby together and you came over and I thought...I thought..."_

_Bella's head throbbed and her heart was beating like a hammer in her chest. She closed her eyes, and then she remembered as clear as if she was still standing in his kitchen...She felt his strong arms come around her, first very slowly and then he embraced her fiercely, almost crushing her in his hug. She closed her eyes and wished they never had to move for the rest of their lives. This felt so right, this felt like where she belonged all along._

_~EYJ &amp; JB~_

"Do you still love him, Bella?" Leah asked, getting straight to the point.

"I...I..." Bella stuttered flummoxed. She wasn't willing to share her innermost feelings with Leah Clearwater.

It hurt that Jacob had preferred not to tell her that he wasn't in a relationship with Leah. It shouldn't be a big deal telling her that before he took her to his house. Bella had not forgotten how embarrassed she'd been, getting caught by Leah.

So her voice had a sharp edge when she asked, "Why would you care, Leah? You practically chased me out of his house. You said you weren't his girlfriend at that time, but you acted like a jealous housewife...Why did you do that?" Bella actually fumed now.

"Simmer down, Swan. I came over because Yuma had gotten sick that night and I had no one to drive me to the clinic," Leah barked back, and she was king of admiring the spunk she heard in Bella's voice.

"Look, Sam was out of town and Jake was the next best option. When I found out that you were there...damn... I smelled you a mile away in fact, I got a little upset if you will, because I was worried for Jacob. There is a history here of you hurting him, right? All I wanted to do was protect Jake, and how can that be wrong?"

Bella wanted to cut in and defend herself, but then she decided to just listen to what Leah had to say. Leah had never called her before. Something important must have happened to make Leah call her.

"OK, look, he was really in a bad place after you married that leech. I mean, he was almost beyond repair to be honest. You did a good number on him, and Jake never deserved that. I didn't want you to hurt him again. But I think I made it all worse..." Leah had said in a much calmer and friendlier tone.

Bella shook her head, and she felt her stomach burn painfully now. She had a hard time processing the information Leah had just revealed. It all sounded way too weird and how could she have been so wrong? _It had felt so right to be held by him. She belonged in Jake's arms._

Breathing seemed difficult all of a sudden. Her breath came in small gasps and she felt dizzy. The mental images were all too real. She had fought so very hard with herself to leave any thoughts of _him_ locked away in some small corner of her brain, but Jacob Black just pushed himself all the way out with a vengeance.

"Why are you calling me now after all that time? Why not earlier?" She was confused. With the memories of their night together also returned the memories of the hurtful words she had said to him the morning after, before she ran out on him again and his devastating promise in return.

_"__If you leave now,"_ he had said_, "you are dead to me."_ Bella had no doubt back than that he meant every word he said. She had left with the intention to let him live his life with Leah and their son, Yuma. She had been so sure that they were a family.

She remembered how humiliating the situation had been and how truly betrayed she had felt. She had tried so hard to understand how he could he have sex with her the way he did, how he could whisper all those beautiful words into her ear and how the hell he could touch her with such love and care when he had a family? She had always come up blank. It didn't make sense. Something seemed off to her about that whole situation.

She had finally pushed all thoughts of Jacob off from her mind, needing to protect herself from the pain.

She never allowed herself to really think about what had happened, she knew she was being stubborn but she had been feeling so rejected and humiliated. Her heart started beating fast just by thinking of the situation. _Damn!_ She only ever wanted Jake to be happy.

Leah interrupted her trail of thoughts. "Bella, snap out of it and listen. Jake isn't doing too well. That's why I'm calling. You know, I really had hoped he'd get over it...over you! It would have been for the best, but no!"

Bella shivered anxiously. Jacob was still feeling something for her? But that couldn't be. He had said—

"What exactly are you feeling for him?" Leah insisted.

Bella's breath hitched and she started coughing wildly, trying to hide her inner turmoil. "I'm dead to him," she said hoarsely, after a minute or so. Her stomach was churning and her heart was pounding painfully in her chest.

"Say what?" answered Leah, clearly confused now.

"He said if I leave him again, I will be dead to him. I left, right? Plus, I told him that he was a liar and a cheat. He won't want me anymore..."

She suddenly regretted that she'd never given him the chance to explain himself. If only he would have told her the truth right away, that horrible fight and the hurtful words would never have happened.

"Oh come on. That's just Jake being over-dramatic." Leah snorted.

"I will have to think about it," Bella murmured. Her hands were suddenly shaking. She was freezing.

"What would you want me to do?" she heard herself ask Leah, which was quite a shock to even her right about now. "I can't come back right now. My exams start next week..."

Leah made an impatient noise. "You could call him for a start and go from there."

_~EYJ &amp; JB~_

A lot had happened since Leah called for the first time. They started talking on the phone on a semi regular basis. Their initial conversations usually short and not very friendly.

Eventually though, both of them started to _really_ listen to each other and both of them began to open their minds and hearts. It was without a doubt that both of them had found a new friend and ally in the other. Who would have thought!

They ended up apologizing to each other and promised to go on from there and focus on the future. A future where Jake finally could be a happy and content man.

During their talks throughout the next couple of months, Bella learned to understand how much Leah had been and still was truly concerned for Jake and that she honestly needed her to help.

Leah in return had to admit that Bella wasn't the selfish, heartless bitch she thought she was, after Bella explained herself to Leah and told her about her true feelings for Jacob, and that she came back to Forks in the hopes to make amends with Jacob and that she had hoped that he would give her another chance.

Bella also told her everything that had happened between her and Edward. She had left nothing out, and when Bella came to the point where Edward had tried to force himself on her and threatened her about the Volturi, Leah got so furious she almost phased while still on the phone. When she was coherent again to formulate meaningful sentences, Leah told Bella that she was so damn proud that she had found the courage to leave Edward in the end.

Bella had blushed and mumbled, "Sure, sure," almost breaking down crying when she realized she'd used Jake's trademark phrase.

Many of their conversations went on for hours on end, but every so often Leah would hang up saying Jacob would be coming over any minute for a meeting with Sam or to pick up Yuma. At one time, Leah joked around how she would simply give the phone to Jacob so that he and Bella were forced to talk to each other. With a sigh, both of them agreed that neither Bella nor Jacob were ready for that.

Soon, Bella was looking forward to their conversations, and she enjoyed them tremendously. They got to know each other and they truly started to care for one another. Bella never wanted to stop listening hearing Leah talk about little Yuma.

Bella, who never even imagined that Leah Clearwater had a sense of humor, found herself laughing many times about the little man's antics. Leah not only loved to talk about her son, but she also shared funny pack stories with her. Bella guessed that motherhood was the best thing that could ever have happened to Leah.

And then there was Sam, and Bella knew that Sam truly balanced her out. They were perfect for each other.

In one of their longest talks, Bella learned about the deep love and dedication Sam and Leah shared. She teared up a few times when Leah told her how Sam had finally broken his imprint to Emily, and how much it had physically hurt him to break the bond.

She was amazed to hear that Jacob and the entire pack-imprinted and un-imprinted wolves likewise-completely supported Sam in his decision. She cheered when Leah told her that no matter the pain and no matter the repercussions the council threatened Sam with, he never once hesitated to pull through with it, because his heart simply belonged to her. Bella was truly touched by that.

You could say, they'd become friends, and Bella was still in awe about that, she never thought this could have been possible. Leah had a huge heart, and she was very thoughtful. Bella had learned to genuinely appreciate Leah's direct and honest approach on any topic.

Over the next several months, Leah also told her everything that was going on in Jacob's life - at least, everything that Leah was able to find out.

Jacob, being the Alpha wolf, had learned to hide almost all of his thoughts while in wolf form, and he wasn't very forthcoming in sharing his personal life and thoughts even with his closest friends. It hurt Bella to learn how much he still suffered, but his stubbornness also made her very furious.

That fury was her driving factor to finally make a move contacting Jacob, and with Leah's constant badgering, even if she only meant well, she eventually felt encouraged enough and was ready to do so. In fact, she was determined. It finally was time to straighten things out with him.

It was time to tell him everything, her reasoning and her feelings of what she had thought had happened at the time when she left him...again. She wanted, no, she _needed_ to make him understand! She wanted to make everything better for him...for both of them.

Leah encouraged her and gave her Jacob's new cell phone number. As this was his "emergency" phone that was reserved for pack and family calls only, Bella could be sure that Jacob would answer the call. Additionally, she gave Bella Jacob's work and patrol schedule for the entire upcoming week, so she would actually get him on the phone.

"But won't that get you into trouble? I mean... sharing insider information?" Bella asked while saving Jake's number in her contacts, but she felt a small sliver of hope, hope that things could be worked out between her and Jake.

That sudden feeling made her heart skip a beat and pushed a rush of blood into her head. She started to feel giddy. Better not dare dream too much ahead of herself, she reminded herself.

"Don't break a sweat. I'm a big girl. I can take it," Leah answered, and so, after ending the call with Leah, Bella dialed Jacob's number.

She lost her nerve and quickly hung up the phone before it even started to ring. She tried to work up the courage to call him for at least 4 days in a row, but her nerves got the better of her every single time.

On the fifth day, she was a nervous wreck. "How hard can it be?" she cursed under her breath while unlocking the door to her apartment. Her hands were clammy and shaking, butterflies were having a party in her stomach. She tossed her purse onto the table and toed off her flats. "I will not hang up today!" she berated herself. "I will talk to him!"

She was allowing herself the luxury to take a nice hot shower first. She wanted to just stand under the hot spray, which she knew would be calming to her nerves. Yes, she felt confident enough.

As soon as she was out of the shower, she simply wrapped a towel around her hair and body, not wanting to waste anymore time. She took her phone off her dresser and pressed the redial button.

The phone rang and rang and rang. With every second passing she lost hope that he would answer, but then she heard his husky voice state curtly, "Jake."

Bella was about to hang up, she did not expect him to answer anymore, when she suddenly felt startled, almost dropping the phone when she heard him bark his name into her ear.. She finally stuttered, "J...Jake?...It's...ummm... Hi! It's Bella."

There was a pause. Her own heart beat was so loud that she was sure he had to hear it too, along with the rest of the world.

He cursed, and then the phone was dead. He had hung up on her!

"Shit," Bella muttered and dropped her phone down onto the receiver. She sat down on her bed, her hands and knees shaking with adrenaline, but quickly decided to just call him again. She let the phone ring for a while, but he didn't pick up his line anymore. She tried it again after a couple of minutes. Again. When she called him for the third time about an hour later, he had simply switched off his phone altogether.

"Fine!" Bella thought, getting more and more irritated as time went by. "I can just be as stubborn as you. We will see about that." She was now on a mission and contacted him daily, sometimes more than once, but he'd always hang up or didn't even bother to answer after her caller ID would appear on his phone. He was so damn stubborn, but so was she!

Leah continually encouraged her not to give up on Jacob. "What a pig-headed mule," Leah would say to her. "Swan, you hang in there."

Leah knew that Jake was still in love with Bella, but he wasn't ready to forgive and too stubborn to even give her a chance to explain herself. However, Leah deemed it was about damn time that something would change. With that, Leah announced that she had a plan, a plan where Jake had no other choice but to face the music.

It was time for Jake to get his head out of his sexy ass (Leah's words) and Bella could only agree. She was more than ready to hear Leah's plan.

_~EYJ &amp; JB~_

The day finally came where Bella looked around her tiny apartment for one last time. Everything was ready to go. Her suitcase was packed and she was just about ready to leave for the airport. She was going back to Forks, or more accurately LaPush.

Leah announced that she is getting married and she had convinced Bella that this is the perfect time to make a real move on Jake. Besides, Bella was going to be part of the wedding. That thought made Bella feel nervous and excited at the same time. She was truly happy for Leah and she wanted to meet and get to know Yuma as well.

She only hoped that the pack would take it easy on her.

She felt good about her decision to give it a real try to work it out with Jacob and she was determined to do whatever it takes.

Bella had a feeling that she will have her work cut out for her. But she also knew that it will be worth it in the end. She was ready to fight for their future, and she was definitely ready to live a long and happy life with Jake.

Bella knew that Leah was really trying to help both of them and had invited Bella to stay for a while to help Jake take care of Yuma while Leah and Sam went for their honeymoon. According to Leah, she had it all worked out. The prospect of living in such close proximity with Jake and his son was both terrifying and exciting to her.

Naturally, she had had her doubts initially, that Leah's plan would ever work, but since Jacob is going to need help with Yuma, or so Leah had predicted anyway, he had no choice but to face the music. Both of them would take care of Yuma and according to Leah, that was a done deal.

The cab driver took his time to drive to the airport, and since she was a few hours early, she did not really mind. When he finally dropped her off on the curb and put her suitcase down, she tipped him and walked straight to the check-in counter. She knew, there was no turning back, she had made up her mind and she will see it through to the end.

Her ticket flew her directly to Port Angeles, with just a quick stop in Seattle and Leah was to pick her up there to drive her directly to LaPush, she reminded herself, while she noticed a flutter once more in her stomach, and she started to feel just a little lightheaded. _Oh God, this is it_, she thought, feeling a slight panic coming up from the pit of her stomach, but she was determined to push that feeling right back. After she was checked in, she sat down close to her gate, trying to relax once again. She whipped her little powder out and took a careful look at her face. "Yep, that will have to do", she thought. Just a touch of eye-shadow and a pale pink gloss was all she really needed. Her eyes were clear and her mind was made up.

The flight had passed quickly. Bella was in deep thought when the announcements came over the intercom to fasten the seat-belts for landing. Bella quickly sat up straight and tried to look out of the window. It looked like it was raining heavily.

Once landed, her exit was fast, she no longer wanted to waste any time and she knew Leah's time was limited. She felt a burst of excitement at the prospect of meeting Yuma face-to-face shortly. All the wonderful things that she had heard of him made her feel like she already knew him in a way. She simply couldn't wait to hold this little fella.

As soon as she took hold of her suitcase, she heard Leah calling out her name. She turned quickly and watched as Leah rushed towards her. Bella stopped dead in her tracks.

She felt tears sting her eyes as she looked at the boy, Leah had sitting on her hip. The pictures Leah had shared with her really didn't do him justice. Yuma was the spitting image of Jake. Her heart pounded erratic and she felt such a burst of happiness and pride for Jake, the force of it took her totally for a spin.

She felt herself instantly fall in love with Yuma.

_~EYJ &amp; JB~_

They arrived in La Push, and Yuma - who had slept through from Port Angeles - was wide awake now and ready for action. So Leah asked Bella if she would like to entertain the little man while she would be making dinner. Sam would be home soon, and he would be tired after a long day at his construction job.

Just like his father, Yuma definitely wasn't shy. He simply took Bella by her hand and tugged, urging her to follow him into his room. "Ella play," he said and graced her with a big happy smile when she sat down on the floor and watched him push his fire truck back and forth.

Bella felt a little self-conscious at first and was not sure what she should be doing. She hadn't been around a little kid before. Suddenly, the whole idea about taking care of Yuma while Leah would be on her honeymoon was overwhelming.

_Don't be silly,_ she thought. Yuma is an adorable kid. _There's not much you can do wrong!_

"Can I play with you?" she asked with sudden excitement.

"Ella play wolf," Yuma pressed a stuffed animal wolf into her hand. She let the wolf "run" next to his truck, while he imitated the siren blaring. "Wolf fast," he said, shaking his head proudly. "Yuma fast."

He jumped up and raced into the kitchen. "Mommy, Ella play." He tugged at her skirt. "Car. Want my car."

"Bella, would you mind taking him to the backyard?" Leah asked, throwing chopped vegetables into a huge pot.

Yuma jumped excitedly and clapped his hands.

"Of course not. Will you show me the way to your backyard, Yuma?"

Yuma ran to the backdoor, stretched on his toes and turned the lock. The door stayed closed. He demanded, "Out."

Leah shrugged. "Like father, like son..."

Bella smiled and turned the lock, but the door wouldn't budge. She turned around. "It's locked."

"Safety lock, Bella." Leah laughed at her and pointed at a latch at the top of the door. "This little guy is very outdoorsy. I would constantly need to run after him if I wouldn't lock the doors."

"I see." Bella smirked at Leah and opened the door. Yuma slipped through and was situated on his police push car before she could even blink.

Half an hour later, suddenly a shadow hovered over them. She looked up and with a startle, noticed that Sam stood right behind her. "Hey, Bella," he said, a huge smile covering his face and a twinkle in his eyes. "'bout time you got here." He winked at her.

Bella felt herself blush and quickly turned towards Leah, who had a huge grin on her face.

Thank God she got distracted as Yuma ran and flung himself at Sam. "Pappy!" he cried and started laughing when Sam began to tickle him.

Bella watched their interaction intently. Sam seemed like a completely different person than the last time she saw him. He smiled; his whole demeanor was relaxed as he joked around with Yuma. Gone was the hard mask that was his face when he was still the Alpha and imprinted on Emily.

Finally, Sam sat down on the grass, putting the boy onto his knees. "Hey, champ! How was your day?"

Leah took Bella by her hand and pulled her inside the house. "Want to help me set the table and get dinner ready?" she asked, and Bella agreed happily. She already felt comfortable and _at home_ in Leah's house.

They had just started putting the plates and silverware onto the table, when suddenly Leah stopped in the middle of what she was doing. "Oh!" she said, her eyes quickly alternating looking at the front door and at Bella.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked. Her stomach clenched nervously. She listened intently, but could hear nothing.

"Jake's coming," Leah said quietly, and rubbed her neck. "I can feel him."

Bella shook her head and glanced at her confused. "What...how..." she stammered. "I can feel nothing."

"He's the Alpha," Leah explained in a hushed whisper. "We all can feel when he's around us. It's like a tingle in the back of my neck..."

"Did you know he was coming here?" Bella said with a glare. She was excited and nervous, almost nauseatingly nervous, but she had promised herself she wouldn't let it show. She was stronger than that now! After all, she had come here with the goal to confront Jake, and now was as good a time as ever.

"No, I didn't " Leah pulled out another plate. "Not that it matters anyway." She listened again. "Okay, here we go."

Bella froze.

Leah put the plate onto the table and stepped in front of of Bella, facing the door. She took Bella's hand. "Be strong, Bella. You want him back!"

Bella nodded.

Leah started to count.

"One…Two…Three…"

The door slammed open.

And there he was.

Jake!


	17. Hostage of Love - This Isn't Over

**Disclaimer:**** **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. The authors are in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.****

**A/N: OK, sorry guys, I guess this was a pretty bad cliffie:-) But hey, here is another little treat for you. Thanks so much for reading, we hope you'll enjoy and let us know your thoughts about it.**

**Chapter beta credit goes to JoAnne Swift again.**

**Hostage of Love**

_**Chapter 16**_

**_This Isn't Over_**

So i lost my head a while ago

but you seem to have done no better

we set fire in the snow

it ain't over

i'm not done

some do magic

and some do harm

i'm holding on

holding on

i'm holding on to a straw

"I'm not Done" by Fever Ray

_**Bella froze.**_

_**Leah put the plate onto the table and stepped in front of Bella, facing the door. She took Bella's hand. "Be strong, Bella. You want him back!"**_

_**Bella nodded.**_

_**Leah started to count, "One. Two. Three."**_

_**The door slammed open.**_

_**And there he was.**_

_**Jake!**_**  
**

**~JB &amp; EyJ~**

He had been restless for hours. Something was bothering him and he felt even angrier than ever. He hadn't felt this kind of annoyed in a very long time. Of course, Bella's persistent calls had gotten him upset, but this was different.

The hairs on the back of his neck were standing up. He was nervous and skittish. If he was honest to himself this had been going on for the last couple of days already. His _wolf_ was pissed every time he was hanging up on Bella. He was very well aware, but he tried to ignore _him_ as best as he could. "Too damn bad, deal with it!" he sneered at his wolf, at himself, as stubborn as ever.

He had this sick feeling in his gut. That strange tingling that warned you something was going to happen or change. He was restless, which got worse with each hour passing. His instincts told him it must be something... _territorial_... He had widened the patrols even more when the restlessness started, but there was no trace to be found. If something threatening was looming around LaPush, wouldn't he be able to smell or sense it?

It bothered him that he couldn't place the feeling. It agitated both him and his wolf to the point of aggressiveness.

Ever since she had started calling him, he simultaneously started to have problems sleeping again. Either he could not fall asleep at all, or if he eventually did he would wake-up either rock hard or worse, to plain wetness in his sheets. He would feel his wolf's horniness, his urge to mate, which pissed him off to no end. _Was this never going to end?_

Only a couple minutes ago, he awoke from one of his dreams of her riding him hard and fast, her fingers massaging her own sweet clit, as she moaned his name over and over again. He rushed into his bathroom where he started angrily wagging his cock until he spilled his seed straight into the sink, his wolf feeling only slightly satisfied. That motherfucker would not leave him alone.

"Damn," he yelled in front of the mirror.

He took a cold shower only to really piss the wolf off. It was funny how the wolf hated the icy water pelting down on his body. He knew it was immature of him, but he could not help himself, and simply flick his finger, "fuck you" at his wolf. "Take that," Jake muttered, lathering the soap on his washcloth and began washing himself down roughly.

The wolf had its own way making his displeasure known. Snarling, he curled up inside of Jacob, wondering how Bella's hands would feel rubbing soap all over him.

With that, Jacob felt his anger rise once more, deep within the pit of his stomach just thinking about her. "Fuck no," he grumbled angrily. "There is no way on this fucking earth that I will let her do this to me again!" He got out of the shower, cursing loudly while walking back and forth between his bathroom and his bedroom for the umpteenth time.

At last, he decided to simply go for a good and hard run. He had today off and he wasn't scheduled for patrol either. In his current state of mind, with no distractions or anything to do, or anything he wanted to do anyway, the day would be endless and leave him with way too much time to think.

"Huh, I'm going to tire YOU out, not the other way around. Just watch me," he sneered at his wolf, earning an immediate growl back. He phased on the fly and tore into the woods, running as fast as he could. The wind felt good whizzing by his face; he left his head low and his ears back, picking up more and more speed. He pushed himself hard.

After the first couple of hours of continued running, his muscles started burning under the strain, and his haunches started quivering, he finally allowed himself to slow down a little and think. He rationalized that he needed to go back to Port Angeles to find a couple of good fucks. Surely that would help lose some of the aggressive tension, he reasoned. He was still feeling way too upset and angry for some reason.

Strangely, his wolf never even stirred at the thought. "Who would have thought," Jake wondered only half amused. He must have gotten _him_ tired already.

Then he thought that he needed to see Yuma. His son always had a way to bring his restless soul to calm down. At that his wolf made a content sigh.

Suddenly, he realized... _wait_... His neck prickled. "There it is again," he groaned out and his hand went right back to the back of his neck. He tried to massage away whatever had him on edge. It was not working.

He better go into Port Angeles tomorrow afternoon, and although he had agreed with Leah to come and see Yuma tomorrow morning, maybe he should go and see his son tonight already. He walked into his kitchen, building himself a couple of large sandwiches, took a Coke out of his fridge and walked into his living room to watch some television while he ate.

While the sport channel just announced the upcoming game, he felt that the tingling in his neck got worse by the minute. It was driving him up the walls. His wolf was snarling in his head ...AGAIN... wanting him to phase and find the source of their unease.

With a furious growl, Jacob jumped at his feet. What was it with his wolf these days? "You don't get me to phase if I don't want to," he growled.

However, the drive to run simply couldn't be ignored.

He pulled on his running shorts and a muscle shirt so as not to give any innocent bypassing lady a heart attack, slung a towel around his neck and fastened his running shoes. He hoped that another hard run would finally give himself and his wolf a sense of peace. He tore out of his house, aiming towards the beach, but he found that he was driven towards his son. The strange feeling that bothered him all day long intensified. Suddenly, he was afraid that something might be happening to his son.

He stormed through the woods, crossing the rather short distance between his and Sam's house in under two minutes.

***~JB &amp; EyJ~***

He smelled her right away.

First he thought he was imagining things, but he just clearly heard her speak to Leah. "What the fuck is she doing here," he mumbled as he stalked toward the front door, his wolf all quiet and what... _happy_? "Well fuck both of you" he thought as he almost took the door off its hinges.

He stopped dead in his tracks. As soon as he entered or rather stormed into Sam and Leah's place, his eyes locked onto Bella's.

"Jake," he heard her say ever so lightly with the sweetest undertone. Her eyes were huge as she held his, and he couldn't help but notice several different emotions in them. Fear, hope, and excitement. His wolf sighed in pleasure.

Jake mentally rolled his eyes at his wolf and then he noticed how Leah had pulled Bella protectively behind her.

"What the hell is this?" he thundered. "What's she doing here? You all buddy-buddy with her now? What in fuck's name is going on?"

"Watch your language in my house, Black. You better not shout at me. I've told you that before, haven't I?" Leah said composed and slowly moved close to his face, looking him straight in his eyes. All the while, she held Bella's hand, pulling her close to Jake as well.

His jaw set, his body tense, he let his eyes travel from Leah's eyes down to her arm, which was still holding on to Bella, and slowly back up to her face. He purposely avoided looking at Bella, but he felt Bella's eyes on him. He knew that she was staring at him.

Ignoring her gave him a grim satisfaction. How dare she come here? Why didn't he know? How did they manage to keep it from him? Oh, wait!... Wedding preparations his ass... That was the reason why Sam wouldn't patrol with him lately.

"You-" he ground out through his clenched teeth, and then his wolf took a lung full of air. There was nothing he could do about it. She smelled so damn good. Her scent drove him crazy. He clenched his hands to keep himself from reaching out for her.

"You kept this from me." His voice was a dangerous growl. "How long has this been going on?...This...this, you and ...her?" He wildly waved his arms between the two women.

"Jake," Bella said, her voice taking on a protective tone. "It really was my idea-"

"I'm not talking to you!" he bellowed. His head whipped around before he could stop himself. They locked eyes for a brief moment, and he couldn't stop his heart from skipping. Damn, all he tried to forget was now standing right in front of him.

Her eyes were wide and her heart hammering in her chest, but she stood her ground and didn't even flinch.

Fuck, she was so beautiful! His wolf agreed with him immediately. She also seemed stronger and very confident, meeting his grim glare standing up straight and with her head held high. Shit, and his wolf liked that, too. Predictably, his dick started to twitch in his pants. Damn you, back off, he sneered internally.

What a fat fucking mess. He wanted to throw her out of the house and ban her from the reservation and out of his life entirely. At the same time, he trembled with the need to grab her and claim her right on the spot.

_Mine_, his wolf purred.

_She has done nothing but fucked with our head,_ Jacob retorted silently, as he looked her up and down.

Her hair had grown back. It fell in soft, luscious waves down to the middle of her back. She was curvier than the last time he had seen her; she had filled out in all the right places. Her skin held the faintest hint of gold.

She started to chew on her lower lip. He could smell her nervousness over his scrutinizing stare roll in waves off of her. He cocked his head and crossed his arms over his chest, giving her a cold smile. She finally cast her eyes down and face turned a dark shade of pink. Her breath hitched.

"Jacob, we need to talk about Yuma." Leah's voice broke through his thoughts, which brought him back to the worry he had felt for hours.

"Where is my son? What happened?" he bellowed, reminded of the strange tingling that had accompanied all day. _Fuck! He really hated his mood swings._

Strangely enough, he now recognized that the tingling was all gone and his wolf was as content as ever. Confused, he scratched the back of his neck, before asking, a bit calmer but still demanding, "I want to see him at once."

Leah rolled her eyes at him. "Yuma is out back playing with Sam. He is alright. What has gotten into you anyway?"

Bella slipped out of Leah's grasp and went into the living room, leaving them to talk to each other.

Leah crossed her arms in front of her.

"I just want to see him, Leah," Jacob said, taking a deep calming breath. He knew that if he kept on raging, Leah would never let him close to Yuma. That much he had learned. "I'm just going out there real quick to tell him hello." Jacob stated, keeping his eyes earnestly on Leah now. "After I've seen Yuma, you and I are going to talk."

"You'll stay for dinner, and then you'll help me get Yuma ready for bed. After that, we are going to talk. How does that sound?" Leah raised her eyebrow daringly, and Jacob felt his temper flare again.

"Dinner is ready in two," Leah called after him, when he turned around on his heel and left the house, muttering under his breath that he won't have any of this kind of shit. He was irritated, but as soon as he heard Yuma's laughter, his heart melted in an instant.

He felt eyes on him through the window, his hair on his neck standing up in protest, he knew they were watching him. What was this? Some kind of girl conspiracy?

Jacob knew that Sam had overheard the whole conversation inside the house. _If you can call it even a conversation,_ he grimly thought. He was still shocked at this strange relationship. Fuck! Out of all people, Leah had to befriend _her_? As he clenched his hands, he knew that he would be prying any information he needed to know out of Sam.

He stopped for a moment to take a few deep breaths to collect himself before he was able to put a 'happy face' on for his son. He noticed Sam eyeing him and ...what the hell? He actually had a smirk on his face. _Fuck you, too, Sam._

"Look who is here, little man," Sam announced with a huge smile, which disgustingly spread across his entire face.

"Dadda," Yuma squealed and waved his arms at him.

Jacob crossed the yard with two big strides, and picked his son up, tossing him high into the air. Yuma was laughing hard and then he wrapped his pudgy little arms tight around his father's neck, before lying his head onto his shoulder in the most loving way ever.

Jake's heart swelled with pure love and joy, when he heard Yuma call out, "Dadda, my Dadda." He kissed his cheek and nuzzled him.

"Someone is happy to see you," Sam said, interrupting their special moment.

Jake's eyes snapped open and caught Sam's eyes. He felt himself tense immediately, whereas his wolf was content with Yuma tugging at his hair. His wolf was more than content at the moment, Jacob realized, frustrated. He had his son near and the woman he wanted.

"You better enlighten me, Sam, like yesterday," he said in a very low voice that bordered close to an Alpha command. Sam better not try to fool him.

Sam nodded and winked at him to follow him into the woods for a walk.

As they watched Yuma run and scramble through the forest, Sam told him how Leah had started to call Bella several months ago, when Jacob was in danger of hitting rock bottom again. She had been at a loss about him and figured it was time to clear the air between she and Bella.

"Leah needed to get it off her chest that you guys are not together, and that she was wrong back then to make her think so," Sam explained, defending Leah.

Jacob helped Yuma climb up a boulder. "And you never even thought about telling me any of it? What the FUCK, Sam? How on earth were you able to even hide that from me?" he hissed. He could not believe it. Had he been that much out of it? What else had he missed? Was his pack all right?

Did his pack get that good in hiding their thoughts from him? Did they even know? Sure, Leah did not phase since Yuma and, if he were honest with himself, he didn't care to dig through Sam's mind. Not that they were on the same patrol schedules often. Fact was, he very rarely was phased at the same time as Sam.

His own mind had been filled with his constant trying to find distractions. First he had tried to numb his feelings with alcohol-that had not worked out well for him. He was glad that Leah had made him see that he needed to stop, for his son's sake and his own. Later, when he had tried to release his physical pressure, he sought out women-it was just as futile. At last, he had gotten into running, pushing himself to his limits in an attempt to clear his mind and heart.

None of it made any difference to him, nor were any of those women able to even remotely make him forget, and now _she_ was here. His mood dropped even further down the drain. He hated that he couldn't get over her, hated that he couldn't get past the hurt and feeling of rejection. What good could possibly come out of it, he thought. She was just going to hurt him again, he was sure. This time though, this time he wouldn't allow any of it, he vowed to himself. His wolf immediately rumbled in protest. _Oh, shut the hell up already._

***~JB &amp; EyJ~***

"It's not any of your business Jacob," Sam said, giving him a scolding glare, and brought him out of his reverie. "This was between Leah and Bella."

Sam moved before the boulder, waiting for Yuma to jump into his arms. "It's not that you particularly asked about Bella either, right? It's always you that leaves the room when Charlie or Sue mention her around you."

Yuma jumped and wrapped his arms around Sam's neck. "Pappy," he babbled excitedly. "Ella fwiend. Ella play with Yuma."

Jacob frowned hearing that. His thoughts ran a thousand miles. "Why did she really come here?" he ground out finally. "What did Leah and Bella plan? They are plotting something... I'm not stupid, man!"

Sam put Yuma back on the ground, noticing that the boy wanted to continue playing and showing off in front of his daddy and his pappy. Yuma instantly ran further down the path. His cheerful laughter couldn't break the tension between the two men.

"I'll tell you this," Sam said while they were following Yuma. "Leah and I are getting married in a couple of weeks. I hope you didn't forget about that."

Jacob snorted and rolled his eyes. "I did not forget about your wedding, man. I told you that I will help in any way that I can, and I meant that. You guys deserve a break and you will get it, all right?"

Sam nodded and added pointedly, "Then you will also remember that we are going to be extremely busy. We need as much help as we can get right now. Leah has so much preparations to do still, as she is insisting to make all of her own decorations, and planning out all of the food, and please, let's not forget the most important part. We are planning to go away for our honeymoon."

Jacob simply stared at Sam, as he slowly realized the gravity of what Sam said.

"Okay, look, Jake..." Sam said in a slightly softer tone. "I am holding you to your word, 'cause come hell or high water, Leah and I are going away and we don't want to be worried about this little guy."

Sam smiled at Yuma's play on a nearby tree. "Look, Jake, you gotta be honest, brother! YOU can't take care of Yuma on your own those three weeks."

Jacob really let that sink in for a moment. He paled visibly; his heart was pounding in his chest.

"It's not that we don't trust you, man," Sam hurried to explain. "We really DO trust you. You're a great father, you know that. Yuma adores you and he needs you. But it's just... You have your job, patrols... your father needs to be taken care of... You simply need help..."

Jacob stared at Sam, his eyes growing bigger and more desperate by the second. "You have got to be kidding me! Tell me it is not true what I am thinking right now," he finally ground out. He lifted his head toward Sam, forcing away tears of anger and frustration. "You can't do that to me."

Sam put his hand on Jacob's shoulder. "Jake, man, calm down. It's time to move forward. It's time to try, just try, okay? You need to resolve whatever it is that is going on between you and Bella. It's beyond time the two of you talk, you owe that to each other, you have been miserable and unhappy for far too long."

"You're the one to talk, Sam!" Jacob yelled, shaking off the older man's hand. "How long did it take you to get your head out of Emily's ass? Don't tell me what I have to resolve and to forget!"

"Be reasonable, Jake. You can't compare-"

"The hell I can!" Jacob spat, towering over Sam and shaking with rage. "You have it all figured out, right? You're the man! Know what? Take your happy ending and shove it up your ass." He stormed off, resentment coursing through his body. Sam really had it all now. He broke the imprint to Emily. He was going to marry the girl he really loved. On top of that, he helped Leah raise Yuma, spending more time with him than his own father. Once again, Jacob cursed the day Bella found he and Leah fucking in the woods.

While he couldn't regret Yuma's existence-his son really was the best thing life had given to him-he wondered if things would have gone differently if Yuma had never been born. If Bella hadn't assumed that he was in a relationship with Leah, would she have stayed with him?

Jacob kneeled down beside Yuma, instantly regretting his negative thinking. "Hey, little man, you can't go in there." He gently stopped his son trying to crawl into a hole that had formed underneath a tree root. He still felt the tremors in his body, but he knew he was in absolute control of his phasing.

Sam caught up with them. He noticed that Jacob was shaking slightly, and his lips pinched to a thin line. Slowly, he felt that he got furious himself. Jacob was just too stubborn, and now his Alpha had gotten himself in a rage again and was close to phasing. "Jake! Jake, stop it! Yuma is here!"

Jacob glared at him coldly. "Thank you so much for your trust in me," he said sardonically. "I would never phase when Yuma is that close!"

Sam sighed, rubbing his face. This shit was wearing him out. "Look, I know you could take care of Yuma by yourself if need be. But really... Be reasonable. You have to go to work. Your boss is going to can your ass if you take that much time off. And Leah will feel so much better when she knows that Yuma will get his cooked meals and clean clothes on his back every day. Leah only meant well, for all involved."

"She needs to stay out of my fucking business, Sam! Why is she not leaving me alone?" Jake hissed, but then Yuma crawled on his back, which helped the shaking to subside a little.

"She cares for you. Hell, we all care for you. We want you happy." Sam leaned against the tree and asked, "We thought it would best if you didn't know. So you could not run away again... Do you realize how hard it was for me to keep this from you?"

"I fucking don't care, Sam." Jacob growled deep from his chest, his fury flaring up all over again.

Frightened by his growl, a rabbit scurried from the hole in the earth and fled in sheer panic. Yuma squeaked and took off after the animal. No matter the tension, it made both men laugh out loud. There was no denying, Yuma clearly had the wolf gene in his blood.

"The few times we were phased together killed me," Sam said quietly as they swiftly followed Yuma. "It was a constant battle of hiding the conversations I had with Leah about this. I should not be put into this position either."

Jacob shrugged. He was still too angry to acknowledge that Sam might have a point.

"That's all I can tell you, and you know what?" Sam asked. "You deserve a break as well. Give it a try, talk to her, and find the fuck out what exactly went down at the time. You need to speak with Leah, but you'll see...it'll be alright. Jake, come on, buddy."

Sam felt bad for his friend, but he also knew that it was time, time for Jake to quit his stubborn attitude. He agreed with Leah completely after he had learned what Bella thought was going on at the time.

Jacob just needed to let it happen naturally, and Sam was sure that it would - eventually.

**A/N #2: Did you enjoy this chapter? We had a great time writing it for sure. We will see how Jake will handle what will be thrown his way in the next few chapters *wink*!**

**Hugs!**


	18. Hostage of Love - Look At Where We Are

**Hostage of Love**

**Chapter 17**

**Look At Where We Are**

From the deep silence of my mind

Is something I'm trying to find

When it speaks you know you will hear my name

Not so complex in design

But harder to mind

As I step in vain

Won't you come down to my arms

There's something I'm ready to say

Would you call my name

Song: Hot Chip, Look At Where We Are

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Thank you so much to Mist and Luvinj for taking the time, care and dedication to beta and pre-read for us. You are very appreciated :-)

~~oOo~~

While Leah busied herself by finishing up dinner, Bella kept Yuma entertained, blowing kisses onto Yuma's face and neck. He loved it. His laughter filled the room. She could not help herself and keep on laughing along with him.

That is how Jacob found them when he walked in with Sam. It bothered him that she had found out his son's ticklish places already. It also ticked him off that Yuma seemed to absolutely adore her. He clung to her, ignoring everyone else in the room. His son didn't even seem to recognize that he had returned to the house. He knew that it was immature getting jealous like this, but he couldn't fight it. He'd rather Yuma were shy and reserved - like Yuma was with every other stranger he met.

The tension at the dinner table was tangible. They all tried to keep it together for little Yuma, but it wasn't easy for either of them.

Sam tried to make conversation, but ended up talking solely to Bella as Leah was too busy watching Bella and Jacob.

Jacob refused to even look at anyone other than Yuma. At least that was what he was trying to convey. Secretly, he was paying pretty close attention to what was going on and what was being said.

Leah couldn't stop smirking at Jacob and Bella. She caught Jacob's eye from time to time when he occasionally glared back at her. She was well aware of his annoyance, and if she was honest he had every right to be mad at her, but it was about time that he faced his demons-thus clearing out old grudges and move on. It was all thanks to his stubborn attitude anyway that he did not leave her any choice in the matter. She would try everything to get him and Bella back together. She felt she owed him. If it hadn't been for her, Bella wouldn't have left again.

Bella smiled a lot, trying to hide her nervousness. In all honesty, her stomach was tied in knots and she barely got her food down. Every now and then she glanced at Jacob, who seemed to still be ignoring her blatantly. While it hurt, she had expected him to react exactly this way. She knew it wouldn't be easy. She would be giving him all the time he needed.

After all, she could be stubborn as well, and he would get to know that fact very soon. Bella was determined and enough was enough.

Damn, he had looked so hot when he had stormed into the house earlier. He had been sweating, skin glistening with perspiration. Beads of sweat had covered his forehead and temples; his shirt clung to his chest, his russet skin and the defined planes of his pectorals clearly visible through the damp fabric.

Her observations of him also confirmed what Leah had been telling her all along. He had changed dramatically since she had last seen him. He exuded bitterness and anger. His eyes were hard and cold. His beautiful lips were constantly set in a grim, thin line. He also seemed to be a lot thinner. Every line on his body seemed to be more pronounced and to have a hard edge. His figure reminded her of the scrawny complexion of a marathon runner. What was he doing to himself to look like that?

"Bella." Sam's voice cut through her thoughts. "When did you plan to see Charlie?"

Bella picked at her veggies, too nervous to eat. "Ummm, I think I will visit him tomorrow, but I was already planning on giving him a call tonight."

"Why don't you just drive by after dinner? He's so excited to finally see you again. You can take my car, Bella. I don't need it tonight," Sam offered.

"Thank you, Sam. I might actually drive up to Forks later on tonight then."

After dinner, Bella offered Leah to help with the dishes, but Leah dismissed her. "I have Sam. It's okay. Your dad is waiting for you."

Jacob took Yuma out of his high chair and carried him into the bathroom to get him ready for the night. "Good riddance," he muttered under his breath, but still loud enough that Bella could hear.

This time she actually flinched at the coldness in his voice.

"Ignore him. He's just being an ass," Leah said, grabbing Bella's hand. She pulled her to the front door and gave her a hug. "See you tomorrow then. Tell your Dad I said hi. The black truck is Sam's. The key is in the ignition, alright?"

Bella nodded, she could sense she was being watched, feeling Jacob's eyes burn into the back of her neck. Turning her head slowly, he was staring directly at her through the open bathroom window. He held Yuma in his arms. Yuma was waving frantically. She smiled shyly and waved back at Yuma, her eyes never leaving Jacob's. Once again, she was drawn toward his beautiful eyes, dark and dangerous, but as soon as she made a move in his direction, he turned away abruptly and slammed the window shut.

"Jake," she called out, wishing he would at least give her one friendly smile.

Without even looking back over his shoulder, his voice rang out harshly, "NO!"

~~oOo~~

The next several weeks were hectic.

Leah's and Sam's wedding preparations kept everyone busy. Then the wedding day came.

Bella was positive that she had never seen a more happier couple in her life. Leah was a stunning bride and Sam was glowing just as bright as the stars in the clear night sky on First Beach where they had exchanged their vows.

Memories of her own over the top wedding and unfortunate, short-lived marriage bubbled up. What a fool she had been. Bella forcefully shoved them aside. It was part of her past now, and this is where she would like it to stay. She had made many mistakes, but she was here now, trying to make each and every single day up to Jacob and bear the consequences with her head held high if he wouldn't forgive her.

So much simpler than her own over-prized wedding dress three years ago, this one was much more beautiful. Leah wore a cute v-neckline ivory dress which stopped right above her knees. A white lily was tucked behind her ear as her only adornment. Sam was dressed in sand-colored pants and a cream coloured button down shirt.

Jacob was dressed similar, only that his pants were dark brown. Bella couldn't stop staring at his muscular legs. Yuma wore the same outfit as his father. He looked adorable when he carried the pillow with the wedding bands with the most concentrated expression on his cute face.

During the wedding ceremony, which was conducted by Billy, no eye stayed dry, including Jacob's.

She had watched him and noticed that he had watched her as well. His eyes were sad but his facial expression had remained hard as stone.

The wedding was followed by laughter, lots of food, a wonderful wedding cake, dancing and a huge bonfire. Most of the night Bella sat comfortably leaned against a thick log, holding a sleeping Yuma in her arms.

Eventually, Jacob came over to her and took his son. "I'll take him now. Go and have something to eat," he said gruffly.

"Okay," answered Bella, her throat suddenly tight. She had known from the first time Leah mentioned her plan that it wouldn't be easy to win him back, but going through each day with him ignoring her broke her heart.

Her desire and need for him seemed to grow stronger each passing day. Every time he was near her, she felt the flutter in her chest and a swarm of butterflies invaded her stomach. It was frustrating.

Tomorrow, Leah and Sam would be leaving for their honeymoon. She felt both excited and scared at once, just thinking about her two weeks she would spend under the same roof as Jacob and Yuma.

Hope. There was hope. Definitely. Now Jacob had talked to her for the first time in what felt like ages. They had a long way ahead of them, and it wouldn't be easy, but it was a start.

~~oOo~~

The morning following the wedding started with tears from little Yuma. Although the little man was used to spending some hours away from his mom, he seemed to know that his mom was leaving for a longer period of time.

He screamed of the top of his lungs as he clung to her and refused to leave her arms when she tried to sit him down at the table to give him his breakfast. Finally, Leah gave up and had coffee with her crying son sitting on her lap, trying to sooth her own nerves and calm Yuma.

Torn between her need to help Leah and anxious about seeing Jacob again, Bella was strung tight. How would Jake be this morning? Would he talk to her again?

"Eat, Bella!" Sam said suddenly, pulling Bella out of her thoughts. "You started to lose weight since you've been here. I don't want you to relapse..."

"He's right, actually... You can't let the situation get to you that much," Leah said with a frown. She offered Yuma a piece of bread, but he was still furious and slapped at his mom's hand while leaning back as far as he could go and screaming out his distress.

"I know... but I'm just not hungry," Bella admitted, nibbling on her buttered toast. She was well aware that with the circumstances she was at risk of slipping back into her old habits. After her escape from Esme Island and when Edward started to threaten her with the Volturi, she had been a physical and psychological mess, unable to eat and sleep. She had needed therapy. Of course, she couldn't talk about anything supernatural, but even leaving out vampires and werewolves, there had been enough issues left to deal with. Her therapist had helped her to acknowledge that she had used her eating disorder as self-punishment after Edward had left her, and from that time on Bella had always stopped eating when she felt stressed, anxious, sad or angry. During therapy, Bella learned how to cope with uncomfortable emotions and trigger situations, and she started to build up her self-esteem and self-confidence. Starting her self-defense class had helped her feel stronger and more powerful as well.

When she had run away from Jake instead of talk things out with him, she reverted to her destructive behaviors. However, this time she was aware of what she was doing to herself and she successfully fought it.

Right now though it was much harder maintaining her self-esteem with Jacob constantly ignoring her or giving her the stink eye. Actually, he made her feel frustrated as hell and that definitely was eating at her.

"I'm trying to stay on top of it," Bella said, looking Leah and Sam square in the eyes. Opening up to her friends was also one of the lessons she learned. "I promise to take care of myself. I will eat at all meal times. You can trust me."

"We do trust you, Bella." Sam pressed her hand slightly. He stood up and put his mug and plate into the sink. "You're going to cook for Yuma each day and you will eat with him so he learns to stick to a regular eating schedule, right?" Sam spoke friendly, but his voice was laced with enough force to make Bella know he meant business.

"Yuma!" Leah called out exasperated, but cuddled her son tightly against her chest. "Would you stop screaming already? You're breaking my heart, darling."

Yuma continued crying loudly.

"Oh, little man, how about some of my toast?" Bella asked and tried to coax Yuma into her arms.

Yuma shook his head and just screamed more frantically.

"We can watch Cars if you want, sweetheart," she suggested, knowing that it was Yuma's favorite movie, but he cried only harder.

Sam ran his hands through his hair at the end of his wits. "When did Jake say he'd come over?" he asked, checking the kitchen clock. "Maybe he can calm him down?"

"Call him," Leah said, juggling Yuma on her hip.

"No need, I'm here!" The back door opened and Jacob walked in, dressed in his running attire.

Bella's breath caught in her chest. God, he looked gorgeous!

Ruffling Yuma's hair, Jacob asked. "What's going on? You can hear Yuma all the way down the road."

"He's major mad because Sam and Leah are leaving," Bella informed him, hoping that he would start a conversation with her.

Bella tried to ignore the sting she felt when Jacob walked up next to Leah, again ignoring her completely.

He said to his son, "I'm with you while Mommy's having her vacation, buddy!"

"Want Mommy!" Yuma yelled at him and hid his face in Leah's neck, grabbing his mom's shirt with his hands.

"Until Mommy's back you'll be with me. Think of all the things we can do, Yuma." Jacob gently stroked Yuma's back. "We can go and visit your Gramps. And we'll watch Cars and eat popcorn. Or we can have a walk down on Second Beach and watch starfish. You remember those little ponds? You love it there!"

"NO!"

Not even his father's suggestions could convince Yuma to stop crying. They all finally decided to simply wait until Yuma wore himself completely out.

Leah sat down on the couch with Yuma cuddled against her chest. He was sobbing and hiccuping, his tiny fists clenched tightly in her shirt. Leah had tears streaming down her face, and Bella felt like crying too.

"If it wasn't your honeymoon I would ask you to stay." She sighed and blinked her tears away.

"We need to go," Leah whispered, and and brushed away a tear. Then, for the first time in her life, Bella saw that Leah's russet skin flushed. "You remember I stopped breastfeeding him before you came here? Well, the thing is..." Leah cleared her throat, flushing a bit brighter. "I feel like I might start ovulating soon... you know... going into heat..."

"Holy Shit!" Bella breathed and blanched visibly. "No way!"

Leah shrugged. "I'm afraid so."

In the kitchen a plate fell to the floor and smashed. A heartfelt "FUCK!" rang out.

"But it's not even mating season yet!" Bella exclaimed, overwhelmed by the possible implications of Leah's announcement.

Leah laughed out loud. "Who would have thought, huh? Makes me hope that I'm somehow still more human than wolf." Leah tilted her head and watched Bella with barely hidden curiosity. "You know your way around wolves damn well, Swan."

"I'm well informed, Uley!" Bella responded with a grin. "You know I used to watch a pack of wolves at the Anchorage Zoo to distract myself from my homesickness when I was stuck in Alaska."

"Swan, we are a little different than the wolves you observed in the zoo," Leah responded and laughed out loud once more. "You sure are something".

"So, so... homesickness." Leah scoffed and raised an eyebrow. "You should have moved your ass back here a long time ago, Bella, and dealt with your shit right away."

"I know that now," Bella admitted. She shrugged. "But I can't change the past now can I? However, back to the currentsituation..."

Leah gave her friend a stern look. "So now that you are here, you better do it and don't let him get away from you. I swear to God, Swan, I'm gonna kick your ass myself. I do not ever want to deal with Jacob's heartbreak anymore"

"Yes, Ma'am!" Bella glared back at her, and then, eying the kitchen where she knew Jacob was currently clearing the table, she asked with a whisper, "Does Sam know? About you going into heat, I mean... What will you do?"

Yuma was laying comfortably in Leah's arms now, his earlier crying had exhausted him and his eyes drooped. Leah gently stroked his hair. "I told him of course... And what we will do? Act on it!" Leah laughed again.

"But... but... What if Sam... and Jake." Bella felt at a loss."You can't... Sam won't... Jake will ..."

"I don't think it will be like last time..." Leah said. "But I won't risk it..." Her lips curled up into a smirk. "Jake is so going to chase us away."

Her smirk faded when she saw Bella's eyes fill with tears.

"Jake!" Leah then said quietly, so she wouldn't startle Yuma who was falling asleep. "I want you to leave the house and check our car. I need to talk to Bella without you listening in."

"Hurry up! You're leaving within the next 30 minutes!" Jacob said with terse finality and walked out of the house, holding himself rigid.

"He would go after you," Bella stated frustrated after a while when she was sure he was gone far enough. All hope she had felt just last night slipped away. Through clenched teeth she added, "I stand no chance against your... this... this... wolf mojo!"

"God, no, Bella!" Leah said emphatically. "He would fight it. It's all instincts and hormones. You know how much he hates it. He will fight it."

Bella shook her head vehemently. "He hates me. He hates that I'm here. He hasn't spoken one single word to me other than last night. It's wearing on me, alright?" She was trembling with frustration. "And now you're telling me the same shit is going to happen like last time?"

"He doesn't want me, Bella. All he wants is you. In his head he's all about you. Sam has seen it. And don't forget... I'm married to Sam now. I'm absolutely not interested in Jake anymore. He is not interested in me at all. It's over between us. He's Yuma's daddy, and that's all about it. We're just friends."

With a frustrated sigh, Bella rubbed her face. Well, those were some fucking news to deal with. Chewing on the information, Bella kept silent for a couple of minutes, trying not to let it get to her too much. This wolf business was what she had agreed on dealing with when she came here. So this is what she would be doing now. She wouldn't let her insecurities get in the way again.

More minutes passed, while Leah tried to calm down Yuma and Bella tried to calm down herself.

"Can I ask you something else, Leah?" Bella eventually asked. "Not that it's any of my business, but I'm your friend and I'm worried, so ..." Nervously, Bella chewed on her lips.

"Sure, spit it out. What do you want to know?"

"I take it you'll come back pregnant, right?" Without waiting for a response, Bella went on. "Yuma is still so little...and he requires so much of your time, and I thought you wanted to start college to further your education, and get a good job eventually?"

Softly rocking Yuma, Leah frowned and her face darkened. "I know Bella, that was what I wanted to do for so long, you are right, but things have changed. I know you really care, but you know... I'm simply grateful that I can get pregnant at all. I thought for so long that I would never have a normal family, that I am nothing but some disturbed and genetic mishap. I am happy now, really happy. I am with the man I loved all my life. When it comes down to it, all I ever wanted... is to get married and have kids. With my Sam."

With a meaningful look, Leah added, "Sam wants the same thing, Bella. He is making a decent income at his job, enough to take care of all of us. And talking of Sam..."

Her eyes wandered over Yuma's now sleeping form with great tenderness. "This is Jacob's boy... And have no doubt, Sam loves Yuma as if he were his own, but... His wolf wants to procreate. He was going stir crazy at the prospect that I'm gonna be fertile soon. He has hope now, too. A hope that means so much to the both of us... Besides, let's face it... Our wolfish nature wouldn't let this opportunity pass. Sam's human side, he wishes for his own kids, too. Like I said... this is our dream come through, Bella. I don't want to deny him that. I simply can't. Maybe the time is not the best time possible. However, we will manage."

Playing with the hem of her shirt, Bella mulled over what Leah had said.

"Just put yourself in my place for a second," Leah said. "What would you do? How would you decide?"

"I would possibly do the same," Bella answered instantly and straight from the heart. Then she looked over her shoulder towards the front door, a sudden thought striking her. "Can Jake hear me?" she whispered cautiously.

Leah strained her ears. "No. He's sitting in the car with the radio blaring and talking to Sam. You're safe." She smirked, watching Bella's eyes flicker with curiosity. "What else do you want to know?"

"So I'm really trying not to freak out, okay? It's still a strange concept to me..." Bella startled to fiddle with the strings of her sweater. "When you're in heat…. well, you're obviously away on vacay… but... Will it still affect Jake? I mean..."

Leah now grinned all over her face. "I don't know really. We are far away. He shouldn't feel anything... But if it does trigger the start of mating season it sure will affect him..." She paused and wiggled her eyebrow. "It'll be you who will be at the receiving end."

Bella gasped. "LEAH!"

"Don't say you wouldn't be happy about it!" Leah was full out laughing now. "You're so horny you're about to combust. I can smell it every time Jake's around..." She tapped her nose, ignoring Bella's furious blush. "When was the last time you've had any, huh?"

Burying her face in her hands, Bella groaned. "You're impossible! And I won't tell you. You can stick your curious nose into other people's business!" With her face still hidden behind her hands, she didn't notice that Jacob returned into the house.

Leah pretended not to notice either, as she prodded again. "Well, you always told me before, didn't you? Let me think... When was the last time you complained about that loser of a boyfriend who wouldn't get you off?"

When Jacob didn't move an inch from where he was standing, she was sure that he was dying to hear whatever Bella would reveal. "So? Was it four months ago or five?"

"It's six months okay? You happy now?" She laughed and jumped up, throwing her arms up in frustration. "Damn, I'm so horny for Jake my fingers are sore and yes, if only he was willing I would jump his bones and fuck his brains out-"

Finally noticing Jacob, Bella stopped, frozen like a deer caught in the headlight. "Oh. My. God!" she stammered and slowly sank down onto the couch.

Barely holding in her laughter, Leah gently lowered the now sleeping kid into Bella's arms. "Oh, Jake!" she said, a bright grin spreading all over her face. "I didn't know you were back."

"I hate you, Leah!" Bella whispered.

"No, honey!" Leah replied. "You love me. And just so you don't think you're alone with your horniness... Jake feels exactly the same, trust me." The last two words were spoken so loud, that there was no chance Jake did not hear her as well.

Bella was sure she was about to die out of embarrassment, especially when she heard in return a loud "Fuck me!" and the door slammed shut.

"Leah, what did you do? Just... kill me now..."

~~oOo~~

Leah went outside and found Jacob kicking the dirt by his truck, his face red with anger, and he was cursing under his breath. Calmly, Leah whispered into his ear, "Face it, Black! You know I am right!"

With that she gave him a long and meaningful look and simply smirked as she told him to go straight back into the house and fucking deal with it.

Sam and Leah left then, leaving behind a red-faced Bella and an equally embarrassed Jacob.

Bella quickly busied herself in the kitchen after putting Yuma into his bed, and Jacob hurriedly turned on the TV, keeping the volume on low, so Yuma would not wake.

He heard Bella's heart pounding loud and clear, but so was his own. In addition to that, his crotch felt tight and he cursed his dick, as it was hardening, reacting to her scent, which pissed him off to no end. His wolf was itching to bent her over the kitchen counter and fuck her hard.

Hurriedly, Jacob got up and locked himself into the bathroom to one, kick his wolfs' ass and two, to quickly jerk off before he was able to face her again.

Bella stayed out of his sight until Yuma woke up and demanded his father's attention.

Luckily, Yuma was his sunny self after his nap. When he asked for Leah, Jake calmly told him that she was on vacation with his Pappy Sam.

"Okay," Yuma chirped and took his daddy's hand. "Fishies!" he then demanded, recalling that Jacob had promised to take him to the ponds. Since Jake desperately needed the distraction, he was more than happy to leave the house and Bella's vicinity.

Bella packed up all her things she would need while she lived with Jake. She was nervous as heck. She hasn't stepped foot into his home since that night. She felt comfortable in Leah's house, but could she feel comfortable at Jake's well.

When Jacob and Yuma returned from their walk, Jacob put Bella's bags into the truck bed. Bella locked up Leah's house and they drove to his place. Jacob almost completely ignored her but the occasional glare.

Once they got there, Jacob showed her to the room where she would sleep during her stay, gruffly told her to help herself around the kitchen and then he went to help Yuma to get settled in.

During the first week, Jake made sure to keep his distance from Bella and only spoke to her as he needed to. Usually it pertained to Yuma. Both her and Jake did what they needed to do. They simply took turns taking care of Yuma.

During the day, Bella would bring Yuma to the playgroup or take walks with him while Jacob was at work. She also went to see Billy each afternoon. Yuma would play with his grandfather, and then Yuma was allowed to watch Dora The Explorer while Bella made sure that Billy did the exercises for his legs that Bella had prepared for him. After all, she hadn't studied Physiotherapy for nothing, and Billy needed the workout badly.

On some days, Jacob would come home early and bring some of his work with him. They would then go to his house, where he would work on his laptop and Bella would play with Yuma, read to him and cook dinner.

While at his house, Jacob didn't like it when Bella started cleaning or do his laundry, at least this is what he told her. Even when he would never outright admit it to himself, he was stubborn about it after all. It reminded him too much of how much he had lost. He felt scared getting used to her being around, her taking care of him and then she might simply leave again.

His wolf stirred irritably and protested immediately. Fucker was loving it of course, enjoying it, watching her take care of them.

Naturally, he noticed that as soon as he turned his back on her, she would quickly put away a shirt, rearrange the throw pillows on his sofa, stack away a book or put the dishes in the washer and then pretend she'd done nothing. Alright, so she was a sneaky little thing, and damn did his wolf fucking like it!

He had also caught her making his bed, where she would run her hands almost excessively over his pillow and even rub the fabric against her cheek. He just stood there and watched. What was she thinking, he wondered. Even if he hadn't seen her do it, he could freaking smell her on his bed the second he entered his room for crying out loud. It drove him and his wolf crazy. He simply shook his head and quietly left the room, noticing a smile forming around his lips. Fuck me, was all he could think of again!

His wolf understood at once what she was doing; it took Jacob a while to comprehend, but then he watched her even closer. Was this her way to make him soften up on her?

She knew that he was watching her every move, she felt his eyes on her back constantly.

On their first weekend Jacob took Yuma and went to see Billy, while Bella visited her father and Sue. In the evenings they got back together to have dinner at Billy's and then they would get Yuma to bed.

During the second week, things started to change.

Jacob slowly appeared calmer around Bella. He felt a shift within him; his wolf liking this change apparently as he remained quiet most of the time now. Seeing her taking care of his son in such a tender way, just got to him. However, he still refused to talk with her other than things pertaining Yuma. He knew he was stubborn, but could not help it, for the moment.

One night when he came home from work really late, he found Bella sleeping next to Yuma on the play mat they had put in the living room. She still held a book in her hands that she'd been reading to him. She had her arm curled around him. His heart stirred, and his wolf purred in content. He liked seeing Bella taking care of Jake's baby.

Instead of sitting at his desk to check his emails, he decided to lay down on his stomach next to Yuma. He kissed his forehead and propped his head onto his elbows.

His eyes narrowed as they wandered to Bella's form, observing every detail of her lovely body and face. There were a couple of small frown lines between her eyes, and her cheeks were too pale in color. He could easily detect worry behind her features as he was watching her face closely.

He knew that she was trying really hard to talk to him, but he simply needed some more time. He knew very well that he still and always will love her. There will never be another woman in his eyes. His heart lurched at the sudden pain that he felt again, but her soft breathing distracted him once more. She was so beautiful, sleeping peacefully with Yuma pressed into her side.

Mine! his wolf growled contently.

A strange stirring woke in Jacob. He didn't even argue with his wolf as he could only agree. He still wanted her. Oh, he wanted and he needed her so very badly, but was he ready to forgive her?

He closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax. He was tired. It had been a very long day. His thoughts had wandered to her throughout the day, as they usually did but now he had found it hard to concentrate on anything other than her.

He knew that he would dream of her once more this night. He relaxed and let sleep claim him.

Bella woke up, because her hip ached unpleasantly. Slowly blinking open her eyes, soft light spilled from the hallway illuminating the room. Yuma was snuggled against her, sucking peacefully on his thumb.

Behind him Jacob's large body was sprawled out. He had one leg thrown over her thigh, unknowingly pulling her closer. He lay on his outstretched arm, the fingertips touching the top of her head, his fingers gently intertwined with her hair.

Bella barely dared to breathe so she wouldn't wake him up. She stared at him in wonder, simply enjoying the moment. His long, thick lashes cast shadows over his face. His mouth stood slightly open, relaxed, his warm breath tickled her face.

Cautiously, she reached out and curled her hand, gently, around his forearm. Under her hand, his muscles twitched and then relaxed again.

She didn't know how long she watched him. Her eyes wandered freely over his long body over and over. He was so beautiful. Her eyes finally came to a stop at his face. Her eyes caressed every inch of his face, drinking him in. She had missed admiring his face as he would not allow her to look at him for longer than a moment, before turning away from her or leave the room.

She felt so peaceful and complete this moment, but eventually sleep claimed her once again, her dreams filled with her Jacob.

She woke again when it was almost morning. She and Yuma were covered with a thick quilt. All lights were out. The space behind Yuma was empty.

~~oOo~~

Ever since that night she noticed his glances more frequently, usually in deep thought. She wished he could bring himself to really look at her and talk with her.

To outsiders, they simply looked like a happy young family.

In those two weeks Bella grew from getting along well with Yuma to love this adorable little boy. Sometimes it seemed as if she was looking into the past and she remembered the boy Jake from her early childhood. The way Yuma would race down the road on his car, the cheeky grins he freely gave her, his carefree chattering and singing... He was just like Jacob once was.

Bella knew enough from her conversations with Leah that Leah, Jacob and Sam had met every one of Yuma's needs instantly, that Yuma didn't need to have a reason to be fussy. Maybe that was why he seemed like the the happiest baby ever.

Leah never seemed afraid of spoiling Yuma as, according to her, there was a difference between responding appropriately to Yuma's needs or giving him everything he wants. In the event that Yuma was fussy or cried, they all knew that there was something wrong with him, either he felt sick or a new tooth broke in. He would never have a reason to cry for attention that was for sure.

Bella didn't have any experience with kids but instinct told her that Yuma's parents did something very right. Yuma simply was such a joy to be around. She really was looking forward to spend more time with him.

Bella and Yuma would connect with Leah and Sam just about every other day, and as soon as they had logged into skype today, Bella noticed right of the bat that Leah seemed different. She was fidgety and couldn't concentrate on Yuma's happy talking nor could she follow Bella's report on how Yuma had been doing the last two days. Leah seemed feverish and very distracted.

Sam on the other hand appeared almost feral. He had Leah in his arms, never losing physical contact once throughout their skype session.

"I think it started..." Leah said towards the end of their conversation. "Will you be alright taking care of Yuma for a couple more days?"

"What started?" Bella asked, but then she knew. "Oh! Uh... No problem." A grin spread all over her face and she would have liked to ask Leah a thousand questions, but she had Yuma sitting on her knees and the content of her questions barely considered appropriate for a kid his age.

Behind Bella, the door opened and Jacob slowly strolled into the room. He had just returned from work. He walked up to the chair and placed his laptop on the desk, while he ruffled Yuma's hair.

"Sam. Leah. How are you do-" he asked as he bent down to glance at the screen, but stopped short looking at Leah.

Sam growled ferociously and even bared his teeth, totally ignoring that Yuma was sitting at the other side of the screen. "Don't you look at her, Black! She's MINE!"

Bella jumped up, startled, and pressed Yuma into her chest protectively. She forced a laugh to escape her lips. "Oh, your Pappy Sam is being funny!" she said, hoping that Sam hadn't scared the boy. "It's time you have your bath anyway. Do you want to help me fill the tub, Yuma?" She hurried out of the room. Yuma giggled when she made him jump up and down on her hip.

"Dude," she heard Jacob say in a soothing voice. "She's yours. I don't want her, alright, and you better watch yourself in front of my son, Uley!"

Sam simply responded with another growl.

Jacob cleared his throat. "I think this conversation is over for now."

He switched off the computer and muttered a low "FUCK!"

Glancing over her shoulder, Bella saw him bury his hands in his hair and cross the room agitatedly. Within the blink of an eye, he stood behind her.

"Are you okay bathing him alone?" he asked through clenched teeth. His body was tense as he towered over her. "I need to go for a run."

"NO!" Bella called out, her voice unusually shrill. "You can't go after her!" She reached out and grabbed his arm, clenching as hard as she could.

"I simply need to run!" he growled, shaking her hand off.

Bella's first notion was to shrink back and let him go. It hurt to see him so worked up over Leah. She loved him so much, but would she be able to endure him crave Leah everytime she went into heat? She shook her head and squared her shoulders. If she wanted him back, she had to fight for him. That's what she had promised to herself.

"No, you don't! You behave like animals over Leah and here's Yuma wondering what's going on with his daddies!" she said vigorously. With a nod of her head she pointed towards Yuma who had his face hidden in her neck.

A twinge of guilt washed over Jacob's face. "Did we scare you, buddy?" he asked his son.

Yuma nodded and pushed his head further into Bella's neck.

She glared at Jacob, feeling very protective over the little boy.

With a sigh, Jacob gently took Yuma from Bella's arms. "I'm sorry, Yuma," he said. "There will be no fighting with your Pappy Sam."

Yuma stared at his daddy with wide eyes. "We don't fight!" he then recited loudly, concentrating hard, remembering what he heard other mommies say to their kids at the playground he played at regularly. Bella had to bite back a smile, while nodding earnestly back at Yuma. She said, "That's right, little man. We do not fight." Yuma was just too cute.

"No gwow-ling!" Yuma demanded and put his left hand on Jacob's cheeks. He stared into his father's eyes, looking exactly like Leah when she would tell him off.

"Okay, you're right. No growling either." Jacob turned and carried Yuma into the bathroom. "How about I give you your bath now?"

Yuma nodded, but still called out, "'Ella!" He reached out for Bella, keeping one hand wrapped around his father's neck.

"I think he wants us both..." Bella mused.

Jacob agreed with a curt nod of his head. As he filled the tub with warm water, he turned to look at her with an unreadable expression. "Thank you," he then said quietly. "And just so you know... I wasn't going after Leah. It was just that my wolf didn't like Sam stand up against me..."

Bella's breath caught. She could only stare at him. It was the longest they had talked to each other since... well... a really long time.

~~oOo~~

**A/N: Thank you so for reading, we are excited to hear your thoughts. Next chapter will be posted soon.**

**Hugs**


	19. Hostage of Love - Breaking Walls

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**Hostage of Love**

**Chapter 18**

**Breaking Walls**

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_All the world's roads lead to the heart of the warrior;_

_he plunges unhesitatingly into the river of passions_

_always flowing through his life_

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_All the world's roads lead to the heart of the warrior;_

_she plunges unhesitatingly into the river of passions_

_always flowing through her life_

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_Paulo Coelho "Warrior Of Light"_

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**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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**We thank you so much, Mist and luvinj, for taking the time, care and dedication to beta and pre-read for us. We appreciate it so much. :-)**

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**~~oOo~~**

_Jacob agreed with a curt nod of his head. As he filled the tub with warm water, he turned to look at her with an unreadable expression. "Thank you," he then said quietly. "And just so you know... I wasn't going after Leah. It was just that my wolf didn't like Sam stand up against me..."_

_Bella's breath caught. She could only stare at him. It was the longest they had talked to each other since... well... a really long time._

**~~oOo~~**

Over the course of the next couple of days they pretended to have returned to their usual behaviors. Bella noticed Jacob's eyes on her lingering more and more. She knew there was longing in her eyes every time she tried to hold his gaze, only he quickly looked away most of the time.

.

Bella pretended she wouldn't mind in the hope that he would come around soon, but her patience was wearing thin.

It was disconcerting but yet exciting as their fingers or elbows would brush inadvertently, they both felt electric shocks flowing through their bodies and they would steal longing glances at each other.

.

There was no need to hide it any longer. They both knew very well what was going on between the two of them.

.

The next morning, Bella got herself ready to meet up with Angela Webber, who was currently visiting her parents. It was a Saturday and Jacob would be home with Yuma. She was looking forward to see her old friend.

.

When the phone rang only two days earlier Bella was indeed surprised when she heard Angela's cheerful voice asking her to meet up with her. When her eyes met Jacob's over the phone, he waved a 'go go' to her so she had happily agreed to meet with her.

.

They were going out to have lunch in Port Angeles. Bella dressed in some of her more stylish clothes. She wore a black floral batwing shirt and her favorite black skinny jeans combined with a pair of black heels. Her hair fell down her back in large, soft curls. A little mascara and lipstick completed her attire.

.

She knew she was looking good, and she carried herself with confidence when she walked into the living room where Jacob was playing with Yuma. "See you later," she said with a wave, smiling when Yuma waved back at her.

.

Jacob stared at her with blatant interest and admiration. He didn't say a word. He just stared. Bella felt herself blush deeply as his eyes pinned her on the spot. Her heart fluttered erratically.

.

"What?" she asked, willing her spinning head to calm down.

.

His eyes only narrowed as he told her to go, to drive safe and to definitely call him if she needed anything. This surprised her and a ghost of a smile parted her lips slightly, her heart now pounding excitedly. She turned around quickly and left the house, running to her car.

.

The day after her lunch with Angela they sat together in the backyard. Jacob was working on his laptop while Bella studied one of her physiotherapy books. Yuma played with his cars, talking to them or singing to himself. Then he wanted to know what the pictures in Bella's book were about, and Bella let him crawl into her lap and explained to him how his muscles would move his arms and fingers.

Jacob watched them for a while. Then he unexpectedly said, "You look so natural with him, Bella. He really is drawn to you."

.

"Thank you," she responded quietly.

.

Bella knew that she was going to miss spending that much time with Yuma. She loved the mornings when he would crawl into her bed and snuggle his little body into hers. She adored listening to him while he explained the world to her in his toddler talk. It was with a new and different perspective when she started to see things through children's eyes again; the beauty of a fallen leaf, the fascination of a bug crawling up a stem, the magic of a blue and a yellow crayon mixing to a green color.

.

Even considering the tense relationship between her and Jacob, Bella loved every moment of the day. Being here with Yuma and Jake gave her a feeling of family and belonging. She hoped that things would work out between her and Jake finally.

**.**

**~~oOo~~**

**.**

Their time together slowly drew to an end. In only two more days the honeymooners would return from their trip. Bella had hoped that they would have indeed had been able to talk about what had happened back then and make each other realize that they belonged together. Right now, Bella was happy knowing that Jacob's attitude toward her had changed. It was clear to her that he did care.

.

They yet would have to talk. Time seemed to have simply flown away from them. It was not that easy taking care of a toddler, she knew that now.

.

However, she knew that they did make some progress and she was going to build on that. Afterall, she was not going anywhere, this was it for her. She only hoped that Jacob will be part of her life.

.

Bella was planning on staying here in Forks, better yet La Push. She would be looking for a job at the Quileute Health Clinic or at the Forks General Hospital. When Leah returned from her trip, she would ask her to help her find an apartment... but then she could always ask Jake, she thought while drifting off to sleep. After all, he was a real estate broker. He would know a nice little apartment she could rent.

.

The next morning, Bella woke up to laughter and banging in the living room. She hadn't been sleeping well. She was feeling restless and fidgety after her last dream. Rubbing her thighs together she tried to hold on to that particular dream for a little bit longer, but it was in vain. The noises coming from outside her room, made clinging to her sexy thoughts impossible.

.

She stretched with a groan and finally got up. She inched herself closer to her bedroom door, opening it just a little trying to get a look of what was going on. She caught a glimpse of Jake wrestling with Yuma on the floor.

.

Bella could not help the smile spreading all over her face. _How much she loved the two of them...and how much she ached having a family with Jake.._.Quickly she went into the bathroom to brush her teeth and comb her hair before she planned on starting breakfast. _Yuma was an early riser alright,_ she thought as she yawned loudly.

.

Yuma must have heard her in the bathroom, because he was now standing outside the door and trying to get in. "Bella, Bella," she heard him calling. As she quickly opened the door, she found herself face to face with Jake. Yuma was in his arms now, reaching out for her.

.

Jake's eyes darkened visibly, as they wandered down her body. His nostrils flared as he inhaled deeply.

.

Bella fought the urge to cross her arms in front of her, aware that she only wore a thin camy and that her legs were bare. She shivered from the cold that came from an open window. She felt her nipples harden with the breeze and then, heat raced through her as his eyes, dark and piercing, slowly wandered down to her chest and remained there. Her body reacted to his gaze, priming for him. Desire pooled hot and liquid in her stomach. She felt the rush of blood in her head, the craving flash of longing, but there also was a slight awkwardness, as his eyes further wandered down, stopping for just a moment too long at the spot that had felt moist and delicious in her dream only a few moments ago.

.

His breath caught in his throat, making some strange strangling sound. His whole demeanor suddenly screamed 'wolf'.

_._

_Of course he could smell her,_ she thought with terror, and wished she had thought about taking her clothes with her to the bathroom.

.

"Bella...up!" they both heard all of a sudden.

.

Bella caught herself first, welcoming the desperately needed distraction and simply grabbed Yuma out of Jake's arms, welcoming his body to cover hers.

.

"Umm, let me get dressed real quick, then I can start on breakfast," she stuttered, her heart beating so fast it surely would jump out of her chest at any moment. She went into her room and let Yuma jump up and down on her bed as she hurriedly put on her sweatpants and a sweatshirt.

.

Then she rushed into the kitchen, placed Yuma on the countertop and gave him a long wooden spoon to play with in each of his hands. Grabbing the pans and bowls out she needed, Yuma started to bang the spoons on one of the pans.

.

She just started on mixing the pancake batter when Jacob walked into the kitchen. Both of his hands were stuffed into his back pockets of his Jeans.

.

"You don't have to fuss that much about us, Bella," Jake announced at the same time his stomach was loudly growling.

.

She could not stop herself from smiling widely. "I can hear you're hungry, Jake, and it's no trouble, really. Please, let me do this for you," she said and she turned around, almost colliding with Jake.

.

He caught her on the waist, steadied her by pressing her into his chest tightly. His eyes a deep black now, burned into hers. "I know what you are trying to do, Bella," he said with a low rumble.

.

Bella closed her eyes and leaned her head forward just slightly, leaning her head onto his broad chest. It felt like home, being held by Jacob. She wanted to stay like this forever.

.

When she looked up again, Jacob's eyes bored into hers. His strong arms encircled her tightly. She felt his heart beat in his chest, matching her own frantic beating heart. She then looked into the deep unreadable black pools of his eyes as she heard him whisper ever so slightly, "Watch out for what you wish for, there might not be any coming back from it." His breath felt hot and sexy on her face.

.

She couldn't help the spinning in her head. She closed her eyes and as she was about to say something, he put his finger onto her lips, caressing softly.

.

Suddenly, Yuma started to bang his spoons against the pan again, breaking the spell. Bella wiggled out of his hold to tend to Yuma. He was demanding his breakfast now and both Bella and Jacob had no choice but to comply to his demands.

.

After all the food was put away by both of these ever starving guys, Jacob showered, dressed and went to work.

.

Bella kept thinking of the double meaning behind Jacob's words and his actions. She was going to look at it as positive, clearly he had a hard time resisting her as well. With that she smiled to herself, feeling herself humming as she finished her chores and got dressed.

The warm, heavy feeling in her stomach stayed with her throughout the day, her thoughts frequently wandering back to the morning. His closeness, his breath and his hard body all but made her dizzy with desire. No matter how hard she tried to ignore it, she desperately needed a release or she would combust. She wanted him so very badly.

.

When evening came, her restlessness grew. For the first time since she took care of Yuma, she was looking forward to his bedtime, hoping that he would grow tired and be ready to sleep before Jacob would return from work. This morning, he had informed her that he would be home pretty late because he needed to patrol. He'd asked her not to wait up.

.

There went her chance to have a conversation, once again, but she would simply be patient. She was not going anywhere. Not this time!

.

Her thoughts started to wander again, as she watched Yuma slowly drift off to sleep, back to that night where Jacob had taken her. She was familiar with those memories as was remembering, dreaming, and fantasizing of his hands on her, his mouth and tongue covering every inch of her countless times ever since that night. It invaded her thoughts at work, when she drove around in her car, and most naturally mixed into her fantasies about him when she was feeling horny and bringing herself some relief.

.

Thanks to her fidgeting, it took Yuma a lot longer to finally fall asleep and Bella practically sprinted into the bathroom as soon as it was safe to leave his room.

.

She locked the door behind her and turned on the music on her phone as loud as she dared with Yuma sleeping. Hopefully, it was still loud enough to turn out any noises she might make.

.

Bella hopped into the shower without waiting for the water to really warm up. Desperate times called for desperate measures. She squirted some of her shower gel into her hands, then let her hands ran over her body quickly, seeking out the soft, moist place between her legs. She closed her eyes and like always, the images of Jacob came instantly. She remembered how he had moved above her, inside of her, with powerful strokes. With a gasp she recalled the first time his fingers had entered her, and then his muscles bulging as he thrust into her over and over. She could feel herself clench around her finger, and then, quite unexpectedly, she exploded already.

.

Nowhere near satisfaction, she rubbed harder, shortly after, hoping to coax out another orgasm. All she felt was hot, heavy need in her belly and the emptiness of her core where his cock should be. She closed one hand around her breast, tweaking and rolling her nipple between her fingers. Pushing two of her fingers into her, she hoped for the delicious feeling of being stretched to her limits, but it was futile. She moved her fingers faster in and out of her, pressing the heel of her hand against her clit. She needed to come again.

.

"Oh God, please..." she whimpered, and groaned, clenching her eyes shut. She knew she needed more stimulation to come again. At home she would have used her vibrator, but here her hands and fantasies would have to do. Her breath came in hard gasps as she drove herself forward. She felt her lust coil in her stomach, winding up tighter and tighter, but it wasn't enough. "Please..."

She leaned against the shower wall to steady herself. Moving her hand to her other breast, she switched to one of her favorite fantasies where she would kneel before Jacob with his hands grabbing her head and his beautiful cock in her mouth.

.

"Jake!" She groaned, too far gone to care if he would be able to hear her or not. Slipping her fingers out of her, she now frantically rubbed her clit, while thinking about sucking and licking his hard cock. Best would be if he would hold her head and have her hold still while he would use her mouth for his own pleasure-

.

The dam finally broke and, with a loud squeal, Bella came.

.

She came hard.

.

Her legs almost gave out under her and she barely managed to hold herself upright.

.

She had a hard time composing herself after that orgasm. She still felt empty and needy.

.

She needed Jacob.

.

Exhausted, she crawled into her bed laying on her back and staring up to the dark ceiling, thinking of Jake. Tomorrow would be their last day and she still didn't know if there would be an opportunity to talk. Finally, she closed her eyes, sighing deeply while holding on to her extra pillow. She felt herself drift off, dreaming of Jacob's arms wrapped tightly around her.

**.**

**~~oOo~~**

**.**

Jacob was hit with her scent and her groans and pleas although he was patrolling in a two miles distance from his house. Only his iron hard will stopped him from turning on the spot and run to her to stifle her every desperate whimper with his kisses.

.

_Damn, Jake! Just go to her_, Jared said from the other end of the reservation. _I sure need to be back with Kim ASAP!_

.

Jacob growled, blanketing his thoughts. _Not a fucking word!_ he barked and doubled his speed, widening the range of his route. It was pointless, thanks to his acute wolf hearing, he could still hear her call out for him.

.

As if he wasn't distracted already, his dick had been aching and straining throughout the day. He was going ape shit if he wasn't making a move soon, that he was sure of.

.

No matter how scared Bella had been when she heard about Leah going into heat, this time he absolutely wasn't interested in Leah. His wolf didn't want to do anything with the female wolf.

.

His wolf's focus was solely on Bella. As was his.

.

But different from last time when Leah went into heat, some sort of a waking call had passed through La Push, triggering the imprints, Kim and Rachel, as well as Bella and Embry's girlfriend for two years, to _spontaneously_ ovulate. So practically all bonded wolves were going nuts over their girls, and the other wolves had the strictest orders not to fuck around without wrapping it.

.

Jacob thought that such a mating season could practically incaptivate the whole fucking pack and he didn't like it. It was something he had no control over and that was unacceptable for him.

.

It took Jacob everything he had, to reign his wolf in. Adamant to get to Bella, his wolf strained against his hold, but there was no way that Jacob would let that happen. He knew that if he gave into his wolf's need, he would be all over Bella within the blink of an eye. So he fought the urge to run to Bella and have his way with her-he was sure she would be all too willing to give in to him. Or not?

.

Fighting for dominance over his damn hormones, his raging wolf and his own need to be with the woman he wanted, he ran.

Two hours later, Jacob quietly walked into his house, tired and exhausted from his very long day at work, several hours of patrolling and the extra hours of running. Bella still consumed his mind and soul, and her tantalizing scent that was all over his house, didn't help his case either. He could not stop thinking about her appearance this morning, nor could he stop thinking about her frantic groans when she'd pleasured herself. It was next to impossible to concentrate on anything else.

.

But there was more to that. His hand automatically reached toward his aching heart. He loved her with every fiber of his being. He knew now that he could never let her leave again; not this time!

.

A realization hit him like a sledge hammer. He needed to get a move on, and quickly, if he didn't want to fuck it up too badly. God forbid she might be thinking of leaving again. _Over my dead body_, he snarled vigorously.

.

Jacob knew that time was running out. Leah and Sam would return from their trip, and they would all go back to their normal lives. Because of his stubbornness and his faked disinterest he didn't even know if she was planning on staying in Forks or if she was planning on going back to wherever she lived. He realized that he had wasted a lot of time due to his brooding. He hadn't given her any sign that he might consider forgiving her.

.

When Leah was back, he would ask Bella out for lunch or dinner and then they could-_finally_-have their much needed talk. It was high time for them to talk, also, maybe it was on him to start giving her a sign that he was ready. He thought it was time as well to apologize to her for his behaviour.

.

In all honesty, he had known all along that he could never live without her. Nor would he want to. His heart started beating frantically in his chest, a slight panic started to set in.

.

He had gotten used to her toiletry items in his bathroom. It filled him with odd satisfaction having her toothbrush next to his or her shower gel standing in the corner of his shower. She was very thorough to always clean after herself, but often she'd get distracted by Yuma and forget her clothing in the bathroom or her used dishes on the table. He wanted it that way. He wanted it to be like that forever.

.

His wolf started to stir impatiently, at the prospect of finally getting the girl he always wanted. Yet, Jacob still felt scared and he needed to face that fear at once.

_._

_Why wait?_ he then thought. They had waited far too long already. He could always simply wake her. Bella had signaled readiness for talking things out over and over again. He went into the kitchen and filled himself a glass of water, his throat suddenly parched. He downed it in two large gulps and then bent over the sink, sticking his head under the running tap. He needed a clear head when he went in her room, and her inviting scent filled his house, making it all the harder to think.

.

On silent feet, he walked down the hallway and opened the door next to Yuma's room, where Bella was sleeping. He heard her soft breathing and saw the steady rise and fall of her chest. Her scent was intoxicating, sweet like honey and cream and a mixture of strawberries and sunshine. He would never get tired of this, not after being that anxious that she might become a leech; dead and cold and without the need to breathe.

.

"Bella," he whispered, walking up to her bed.

She sighed and turned on her back, flinging one arm over her head. Her leg stuck out from under the blanket, exposing the creamy skin from her foot up to her thigh.

.

He swallowed hard, remembering the feel of her soft skin under his hands and how she had her legs wrapped around his waist. His wolf rumbled deep within his chest; "Mine" was all he could think of. He closed his eyes, trying to reign his beast in. He wanted to be in control as a man.

.

Jacob reached out, his hand was shaking a little, as he touched her shoulder. "Bella. Bells, wake up. I want to … can we... talk?"

.

She sighed again, and stretched, her toes curling.

.

Jacob suppressed a groan. _Why did she have to be so damn beautiful?_ It made it _really_ hard for him to keep his head in the game and his wolf at bay! "Bells!" he said, his voice a little louder this time.

.

With a start and a squeal, Bella sat straight up in her bed. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her eyes big as saucers. "OMG! What are you doing here, Jacob? You scared me to death." She blinked and, still breathing heavy, she tried to steady her gaze on his face.

.

"Something up with Yuma?" she asked worriedly.

.

He took her hands into his, afraid that she might wake up Yuma and that they might lose this chance to talk. "Shhh, Bells, it's ok. I just want to talk to you," he softly spoke.

.

"'K," she murmured, but fell back onto her mattress, rubbing her eyes.

_._

_Damn, he must have woken her from a deep sleep phase._

.

His head whipped around at the soft noise of a door being opened and the soft pitter patter of tiny feet. "Bella, 'fraid," his son's frightened voice rang out and in came Yuma, dragging his blue doggie comforter behind him.

.

"Come here, buddy." Jacob kneeled down to scoop Yuma up.

.

Yuma protested instantly and loudly so. "Want Bella!"

.

"Shhh!" Jacob whispered, hoping that he could convince his son to go back to sleep.

.

Yuma was insistent. "Bella!" he called.

.

Bella had to smile, Yuma was just too cute. She sat up straighter, leaned over and lifted her blanket at the same time, revealing her barely there sleeping attire. Her sweet, concentrated smell hit Jacob like a freight train. "Come here, honey," she murmured as she held out her arms, ready to take Yuma into her bed.

.

Jacob moved forward without a second thought. Something wiggled out of his arms and quickly took the empty place beside Bella.

Jacob groaned in frustration, feeling a bit like a rejected puppy. Outmaneuvered by his own son. He couldn't believe it!

.

Bella wrapped her arm around his son and put her blanket back down. She kissed Yuma softly on his forehead. When she looked back up at Jacob, she saw the wonder in his face as he ever so gently looked at them both.

.

"He really loves you Bella, and it is easy to see that you care about him as well," he spoke quietly.

.

Bella gently rocked Yuma in her arms, trying to get him back to sleep.

.

She kissed his head once more and smiled wistfully, turning her head toward Jacob. Their eyes caught and locked on each other. Time stood still for several moments and the room grew quiet once more.

.

"Jake, I love this little boy. He is amazing and beautiful, so incredibly smart," she said just a little above a whisper, afraid to wake Yuma again. Yuma's breathing had slowed and Jacob knew he was fast asleep. Her heart was hammering in her chest, but it was now or never. "And," she continued. "And I love you."

.

Her words struck him hard. _Could he really believe her? Did she really mean it? Why didn't she realize sooner? Why did she run from him in the first place?_ A million thoughts raced through his head. The ugly feeling of being not worth it, of being just the second best, of being left behind reared its head. It was clearly to read upon his face before he once again shut it away behind a blank mask.

.

"Please stay," she whispered, afraid he would bolt out of her room and house at any moment.

.

Sliding onto the floor right by the bed, he took a moment to think. No, he wouldn't let his insecurities and old hurts get a hold over him. Not this time. Not again. Taking in a deep breath, he looked thoughtfully into her eyes. "I'm sorry for being so stubborn and unapologetic." He reached out, gently touching her cheek, moving slowly to give her a chance to pull back if she wanted.

.

She leaned into his touch. "I'm sorry for running in the first place. I've put you through a lot."

.

He brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, relishing in the fact that she nuzzled into his hand, while still holding on to his son firmly.

.

"I've missed you so much," she said.

.

In this moment, Jacob allowed himself to forget the past completely, the hurt and the pain; he only enjoyed this very moment and it felt like a dream come true. He felt exhilarated, but he remained quiet nevertheless.

.

Looking at the two people he loved most in this world, he made the decision that he would make it work this time around. However, he was going to get some answers from her first, and she would get answers from him to whatever she might want to know. Even when it was hard for him to admit this to himself, he knew he had made just as many mistakes as she had. He would take it slow and he was going to do it right, he promised himself.

.

He knew that he would not survive if she ought to leave him again. His wolf violently bucked inside of him in protest at this outrageous thought.

.

He took a few calming breaths and closed his eyes for a moment. He wanted to enjoy her being that close to her, take her all in and relish in her sweetness. He loved the feel of her creamy and soft skin, and her rich scent was driving him all but crazy. Gently, he caressed her face, it was like his hands were moving on their own account.

.

With every second ticking by, he felt himself wanting, needing all of her. His blood started to roar through his veins. His wolf demanded to mark her, to make her theirs for ever. His wolf wanted to mate and to mark her, but so did the man!

It was a need so strong it almost scared him. He had waited all of his life for her. He could see it in her eyes that she wanted this as well. Her scent under the sheet was driving him insane. He grew impatient. _She smelled like fucking heaven._

_._

_No, not yet!_ he thought; once more fighting to reign the wolf in. He forced himself to calm down.

.

"Bells, so much has happened. I'm not going to lie to you by telling you everything will be forgotten and forgiven, because definitely not everything is just fine."

_._

_Liar,_ he silently scolded himself, _you know no matter what that you have no choice but to forgive her, you want her. _

.

"We need to talk, and I don't want either one of us to hold back," he blurted out while watching her closely. "No matter what!".

.

His black eyes boring into hers, she was captivated by the intensity of them. Even if she would try, he would have not allowed her to break their eye contact, she was sure of it.

.

He did not want to spoil the sheer intimacy of this moment, but there were too many questions left unanswered. "What I really need to know is what had happened to you back then. I have spend every waking hour trying to figure out why you... why..." He then stopped talking, the pain in his handsome face apparent now.

.

He had to look away right then, remembering the horror and fear he had felt all too well, when she bolted out of his life for the second time.

.

Yuma started to stir slightly in her arms.

.

Her hand snaked slowly toward Jacob's face. She just knew what he was thinking about. Gently she brushed her hand over his his cheek silently encouraging him to go on.

.

Jacob calmed, her touch always seemed magic to him. He knew he could never get this girl out of his heart and soul, she simply made sure of that by just breathing.

.

He gazed back up into her eyes. "Bella, I want to thank you for being there for Yuma, and me..." he reluctantly added. He knew if he wanted to do this right, he had to slow it down right now. "I couldn't have taken care of Yuma by myself. I know that now. We needed you."

.

Bella slowly shook her head. "I loved doing this for you and Leah, Jake. I fell in love with this little guy already by listening to what Leah told me over the phone and the pictures she sent me over email. He is the spitting image of you Jacob." She gently looked down at the sleeping child in her arms. "Being together with Yuma day in and day out... He's so cute and charming..."

.

Without thinking, she blurted, "I really can't wait to have my own children one day!"

.

Her words projected images of her heavily pregnant and sprawled out in his bed, waiting for him to join her. It went straight to his groin, too. He had been hard for her all night long to the point of discomfort. Now it was downright painful.

.

Looking up, she was met with Jacob's heated gaze linger on her face. His eyes had a yellow hue. He stared at her with a predatory look, a low growl filled the room. It was just… _Wow._ She felt herself blush, but she was aware of the child she held in her arms and she simply couldn't get all horny now… A slight panic setting in, she cleared her throat. "Yeah... so..."

.

Jacob looked at her for a second longer, then at his sleeping son and reigned himself in. "I want to take you away from here for a few hours, once Leah and Sam got back," he finally said. "I don't want anyone or anything disturbing us."

.

"Yes!" was the only word coming out of her throat.

.

Her mind started to spin, she had not felt this hopeful and simply good in a very long time. She saw his eyes pausing on her lips then, he was inching forward, very slowly. She stared at him with longing. She wanted him to kiss her so badly. The heat was rolling off his shoulders in waves; and right into her, she could feel it warming her soul.

.

Their faces drawing closer yet, until there was only a fraction of air between them, they breathed in each other, savoring the moment before their lips would meet.

.

With a start, Yuma bucked in her arms, and started to scream. Wedged between the two of them and the heat radiating from Jacob, it must have overwhelmed this little boy.

.

Quickly, Jacob moved back and stood up with one fluid movement. He took Yuma into his arms then, calming him and offering the sippy cup he saw sitting on Bella's night stand and brought it to Yuma's lips. Greedily Yuma gulped down over half of it. He laid his head onto Jacob's shoulders, closing his eyes.

.

"I am going to put him back into his bed," he spoke quietly. "It's late." His face seemed unreadable again and Bella knew it was better to leave it alone for tonight.

.

"Yes, we should call it a night," Bella suggested then with an apologetic smile.

.

Jacob realized just how tired he really was. He felt as if that little talk had drained the last of his energy out of him, but then it was a big step forward in the right direction. "Okay," he said with a barely suppressed yawn.

.

"Good Night, Jake."

.

"G'night, Bella." Jacob carried his son back to his room and put him in his bed. With his hand lightly caressing his little face, Jacob waited until Yuma was fast asleep before sneaking out of his room.

.

Too exhausted and way too tired, he was not going to bother with a shower either. He simply dropped his shorts and fell on his bed. Smiling to himself he was thinking about different locations where he could bring Bella.

.

He grabbed a pillow, and held on tight. He drifted off to sleep, dreaming of holding her.

.

**~~oOo~~**

.

Please, let us know what you think. Next update coming up soon.


	20. Hostage of Love - I'm Here To Stay

**Hostage of Love**

**Chapter 19**

**I'm Here To Stay**

Check out: Fighting My Way Back To You

by Midnight Project why reading

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Thank You Mist and LuvinJ, you ladies are the best! HUGS!**

~~oOo~~

_Too exhausted and tired, he was not going to be bothering with a shower anymore either now. He simply dropped his shorts and fell on his bed. Still thinking about different locations where he could bring Bella, he grabbed a pillow, and held on tight, as he drifted off to sleep, dreaming of holding her._

~~oOo~~

Sitting in Leah's kitchen with a steaming cup of tea in front of her two days later, Bella looked over Leah's face with interest. Leah looked radiant, happy and very content. The glow and sparkle in Leah's eyes was apparent. They were updating each other - Bella told her how things went with Yuma, Leah gushed over her honeymoon experiences. Bella thought she had never seen her this happy before.

"Swan, you have got to be kidding me!" Leah exclaimed when Bella could announce no bigger progress in her relationship with Jacob than the upcoming 'date'. Bella winced, knowing Leah would give her a good 'talking to'.

"Do you know how many times Sam and I were wondering if my bedroom is still intact when we get back?" Leah raised her eyebrows and shook her head. "Fuck Bella! What takes you so long? Three weeks alone with Jacob Black and all you accomplish is a measly date?"

"Really, Leah? When exactly did you guys even have the time to think about that?" Bella countered. "I thought you were all busy with the baby making?"

"Oh, you're the joker now, Swan, aren't you?" Leah replied with a mischievous smile pasted on her beautiful face. "Damn, Jake is an animal in the sack. How could you hold out that long?"

Leah's words cut like a knife.

It brought back a sequence of pictures, Bella had hidden deeply inside herself. Leah and Jake going at it in the forest. His muscles straining as he worked her. The look of utter bliss on her face. His fist buried in her hair as he pulled her head back in a show of dominance. His triumphant roar as he came, pushing hard into her-

Jealousy and hurt ripped through her. The first time in their friendship Bella truly realized that Leah knew Jake in a way she didn't want any other woman to know him. She swallowed. Hard.

Realizing her insensitivity as soon as the words had crossed her lips, Leah laughed nervously. Then, she said, "Look, Bella, I'm-"

"Don't," Bella hissed through gritted teeth. Leah was her friend, but right now her jealousy overruled any feelings she felt for her. It raged in her like something wild and untamed. "If you say another word I might want to hurt you. Really hurt you." She clenched her eyes, focussing on regaining control.

Leah lowered her head in shame, she had not wanted to hurt her friend this way and was desperately thinking of how she could make it go away now. The hurt she had seen in Bella's face almost broke her heart. She felt terrible now.

"Forget I ever said anything, and especially forget that this ever happened. I am such an idiot. I am very sorry. Please forgive me!"

When Bella came back to Forks she knew Jacob was a packaged deal. Parenthood and pack duties bound him and Leah together. Still, she didn't want Leah to remember any sexy times with Jacob, let alone say it out loud.

Bella wanted Jacob to finally belong to her. She would do everything to win him back. It was time to ramp up things a bit. She would haul out the big guns for their 'date' night. Jake wouldn't know what was going to hit him.

After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Bella took a deep breath and opened her eyes. "I think I'm good now." She reached out and grabbed Leah's hand. "I know you've been with him. He's Yuma's daddy after all, but never ever remind me again that you've had sex with him. I can't bear it."

"Anyway….so guess what Bella…" Leah's eyes sparkled and her face suddenly just glowed.

"We did it. Sam and I."

Bella stared into Leah's eyes. "You guys did it?" she repeated slowly, confusion written all over her features. "I know you did it. Isn't that the only thing you're supposed to do on your honeymoon?"

Leah chortled with laughter. "I know, silly. And that wasn't what I meant."

After a meaningful pause, she announced with enthusiasm, "I think we made a baby. I can just feel it, you know? Yuma is going to have a brother, I am sure of it."

"Oh my God!" Bella gasped. "Oh my God, Leah, I am so happy for you guys." She jumped up from her chair and took Leah's arms to pull her up as well. Like kids, they held hands and swirled around the kitchen floor until they felt both dizzy. The earlier discussion took a backseat in her mind. She was truly happy for Sam and Leah.

"This is wonderful! Are you really sure? I mean it's only been a few days and all..." Bella asked. It was way too early to take a pregnancy test. How would Leah be able to know?

Leah tapped her chest and put her hand over her heart. She didn't have to say anything more. Bella understood that Leah very likely be right. She did look different too-somehow.

"What did Sam say?" Bella wanted to know immediately.

~~oOo~~

Bella was counting the days until her date with Jacob. They had agreed on the next Saturday night as Jacob had to leave for a couple of days for a business trip with his boss. It was strange not having him around. She hadn't realized she had gotten used to his presence that much.

Since the time of wedding preparations was a thing of the past and Leah fully took over all Yuma duties, Bella had moved back in with her father. She loved being with her father and Sue, but having moved out of Jacob's house felt all wrong. So Bella spent most of her days in La Push. If she wasn't with Leah, she took long walks along First and Second Beach and she held her eyes open for possible houses to move into. Bella knew she would need the Tribal Council's approval to move onto the reservation as she wasn't Quileute, but she dared to dream ahead.

She also loved spending time with Jacob's dad. Each day she would make him go through his physical therapy. After his therapy sessions, Bella and Billy did a lot of talking. Billy wanted to know what had been leading to the mess between Jake and Bella in the first place, and with Jacob not being in La Push, Bella felt finally comfortable talking to his father save from Jake accidentally overhearing anything she wasn't ready to share with him yet.

So Bella told him everything, starting with the nightmare of a honeymoon, seeing Jake and Leah in the forest, the misunderstanding causing them to fall out once again and ending with the upcoming date. Talking helped Bella a lot to reflect once again, and Billy didn't hesitate to call her out on her stubbornness and mistakes, but he didn't hesitate to give blame to Jacob either.

On Thursday, Bella happened to be at the Black's house when Quil dropped by to deliver a meal his mom had cooked for Billy. She had seen Quil a few times over the course of the last couple of weeks, but they never had the chance to actually talk to each other.

"Bella Swan! It's not fair. Those Black guys are really hogging you!" Quil complained humorously. "Before it was either Jake or Yuma demanding all of your attention and now it's our Chief. And here I thought I had a chance." With a big grin, Quil plopped down on one of the old kitchen chairs which groaned under Quil's weight.

"What can I say, Quil," Bella retorted with a smile playing on her lips. "You're simply not my type."

"So you keep saying, Bella, but I know that you are simply not being honest with yourself here. I dare say that it is me you truly want, not Jake. I think, it is time you come clean, baby," Quil busted out with a straight as an arrow face.

Bella could only stare at him in wonder, her mouth hanging wide open. Was he serious or was that one of his dumb jokes? Billy sat stock still in his chair, only the corner of his mouth twitched and as soon as Bella saw it, she could not help herself but bust out laughing. She laughed so hard, she had to bend over and hold herself together. Both Billy and Quil laughed alongside her.

"Got you!" Quil coughed and put his arm around her shoulder in a gesture of friendship. "Okay, what for lunch, my fairy princess?" he asked with pleading eyes.

Bella prepared sandwiches for all of them. During the entire process good-naturedly bantering continued back and forth.

When they were done eating, Bella started her concentration back on Billy. She told Quil he could stay and observe if he would like to do so.

Quil watched Billy's therapy session with great interest.

"So…" he said after a while. "Leah told me you're a physiotherapist now. Is this…" he waved a hand at Billy doing his exercises. "...what you're doing at your job?"

"Among other things, yes. I help people with physical problems to recover movement and function." Bella raised a questioning eyebrow. "Why are you asking?"

"Oh, I was just wondering," Quil answered and shrugged his shoulders. He remained seated, watching silently, until Bella told Billy they were done for the day. She helped Billy back in his socks and shoes, and Billy excused himself with a knowing glance at Quil.

"Thank you so much, Bella. I'm feeling much better now. However, I need a quick nap to recover. You guys feel free to use my kitchen. Seems like someone has taken quite the interest in your work." Billy laughed and rolled out of the room.

Bella washed and dried her hands, waiting for Quil to come out with whatever was bothering him. She thought she knew where this was leading.

Quil shifted in his seat, cleared his throat, and finally said, "Maybe you could help me with something… You know… I was injured in a fight…" He rotated his left arm and rolled his neck. "Sue set it and it's all healed now... but my arm and shoulder still isn't functioning as before."

Bella could see that he was quite uncomfortable talking about his impairment, but she was a professional and she had become a physiotherapist in the first place to one day help the pack with her knowledge and skills. "Let me see," she answered and stepped closer to have a look at Quil's shoulder.

"I knew you couldn't wait to get your hands on me," he joked, but she knew he was trying to hide his embarrassment. She made him move and rotate his arm to evaluate the extent of his injury.

She then dug her fingers into the hard muscles of his shoulder, trying to work out some of the tension, as she smiled at his remark.

"Oh, that feels so good, baby," he crooned.

"How did this happen?" Bella asked curiously and traced her finger along a faint scar that wound around his shoulder.

Quil turned slightly to look her in the eyes. A sudden seriousness she didn't know Quil possessed came over his features. "You sure you wanna hear? It's not pretty," he warned, but his eyes pleaded with her to listen in any case.

Bella gave him a nod, but her stomach churned in fearful anticipation.

"We were in this fight about two years ago…" Quil began while Bella went back to carefully treat his injured shoulder.

"Yeah, it was right after you'd run off again… Six leeches against the two of us… We ripped apart two, but four remained. Jake went berserk, tearing into them. He finished another one in a heartbeat, but there's still three. Two of them were newborns."

Quil paused a second.

Bella remembered the nights when the pack had trained with Jasper to prepare for the fight with Victoria's newborn army. She also remembered that a new vampire was really fast and strong, and that when you fought against one you had to be really careful. Bella started to dread the end of Quil's report.

"Are you still with me, Bella?" Quil suddenly asked, studying her face while a strange glint flickered in his eyes.

Again, Bella gave him a nod. She found Quil was not behaving like his usual self, but she couldn't quite put a finger on it.

Quil went on. "Then one of them gets me by my leg and hurls me into a tree. I feel the bone break at the impact, and then the leech is on me, trying to bite me… Jake manages to rip that fucker off of me... I cough and wheeze trying to get back into the fight… To cut a long story short… Jake finished the rest of them."

Bella stilled, paling with every new detail Quil revealed.

Quil, oblivious to or not caring about Bella's shock expression, went on. "Jake was quite reckless those days. Even went out hunting leeches on his own…"

A startled squeak went past Bella's lips. Her knees buckled. Quil reached around and pulled her in front of him. "Can't take it, Swan?" he asked with a coldness layering in his voice she'd never heard in him before. "You better listen carefully now, because you were the cause for his ruthlessness."

"He ventured farther and farther from the rez, alone, seeking out bloodsuckers purposefully. He brought himself in situations he better had avoided. He acted rash, endangering not only himself but also the pack. You know that nasty scar on his back and hip?"

Bella shook her head. Her breath caught. She felt dizzy and nauseous. Why didn't she know? That wasn't something Leah had shared with her, and they had talked about everything, or so she thought.

"A leech ripped Jake open, right before he killed it. He was out there. Half way up in Canada. He almost bled to death before we found him and brought him home." Quil's grip around her upper arm tightened while he spoke. Anger shown in his eyes. Anger directed towards her.

Bella trembled in Quil's grasp.

Why hadn't Leah told her? Bella knew of Jacob's alcohol abuse, and how he had sought out random women to feed his lust. He had neglected his son. She also knew what Jacob did to himself with his excessive running. But this? Going on suicide missions? She didn't know.

The severity of Jacob's actions and the possible consequences shook her to the core.

Why did Leah leave out that important, life-threatening part of Jacob's past?

Quil went on talking. "The wound wouldn't heal, but he still went out hunting. He drank to drown out the pain his injury caused him. He got into bar fights drunk off his ass. Finally, the wound infected; he ran a fever. In the end, the infection was so severe, he could barely walk. His body began to shut down. Sue tried to give him antibiotics, but he refused any help."

"I didn't know," Bella whispered hoarsely. What had she done? She was shaking all over. She felt so guilty, it was eating her up. "Why didn't he heal?"

"Because he didn't want to," Quil said roughly. "He fucking didn't care anymore! He didn't care whether he lived or died. He was all rage, frustration and darkness. Can you imagine what this did to the pack? We all felt what he felt through the mind link. I'm sure I don't need to elaborate further."

On the brink of bursting into tears, Bella said, "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry what my leaving did to him. And to the pack. However-and I'm asking you to not misunderstand me-I'm not responsible for his actions." She took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to steady her voice and continued. "We both fucked up. So don't you dare putting all the blame on me, Quil!

With firm, yet careful hands, Quil steered her to sit on the kitchen chair opposite him. "Listen, Bells." He cleared his throat and rubbed his hand over his face. "I'm not telling you this to make you feel guilty, but you have to know that if you're leaving again-"

"I won't!" Bella interrupted heatedly, rubbing a stray tear from her cheek. "I won't leave again. No matter what happens, I made a decision and I will stay here in Forks, or La Push if they will have me. I'm here to stay."

Canting his head, Quil studied her with a frown. "All of the pack have been watching you since you came back. Most of us don't trust you. So why should I believe you?"

Pushing up from her chair, Bella squared her shoulders. "I don't have to prove anything to you, Quil, or to the pack for that matter. It's between me and Jake…"

"This is bullshit and you know it," Quil spat. "Everything what happens to our Alpha, affects the pack. I'm talking to you as his closest friend, Bella. Because I know how he ticks. He's the most badass Alpha, a tough leader and fierce friend. But inside… his heart is fragile. You rip it out again, this time it will kill him. And then I'm going to kill you!"

"I know what I want, Quil." Bella didn't back down, no matter how intimidating Quil came across. Since her return, she had expected one of the pack to approach her, asking her exactly these questions. She wasn't stupid. She knew how the pack worked. She had stopped being ignorant to what happened around her a long time ago.

"I will stay," she said with a resolute voice. On a second thought, she added, "And if you still need proof, I will think of a way to prove it to you."

Quil finally stepped back as he nodded his approval to her words. "We all noticed you've changed, Bella, but I needed you to tell me…" he said. "I can now see you really mean it."

All of a sudden, Bella felt so exhausted, her knees wobbled. She sat back down and rubbed her face, trying to shake it off. Her thoughts circled around Quil's revelation about Jacob's life-threatening injury and how he didn't heal more so than on Quil's demeanor.

"Why didn't Leah tell me?" she ground out. "She told me everything about him but this?"

Sensing her distress, Quil took another chair and sat down next to her. He laid a comforting hand on her back, before he answered her question. "He didn't trust you. As far as he knew you could still have run with the leeches. It was essential they didn't learn about it at all. As soon as Jake learned Leah was talking to you on a regular basis, he ordered her to be silent about this incident. Everything else he didn't care."

"I see." Bella felt numb, but she understood. Despite saying otherwise only a few moments ago, she now felt the guilt like a heavy load put upon her shoulder.

Pressing her shoulder in a placating manner, Quil quietly said, "Don't worry about it now, Bella. It's in the past. You have to concentrate on the future now. I'm positive that Jake will come around. I heard you agreed on a-" He winked and grinned at her. "Date."

Bella protested with a light laugh. "It's not a date. We simply want to go where we can talk…"

"Whatever, Bells." Quil got up but not before affectionately ruffling through her hair. "I gotta go. Paul's waiting on me to relieve him from duty."

"Wait up!" Bella reached out and grabbed his arm to stop him from walking out before she could make herself clear. "Just so you know. I'm really planning on getting Jake back. I love him. He's all I want."

Quil gave her a sharp nod. Then he said, "Thanks for looking at my arm. It sure feels better already."

"It's no big deal, Quil. Just come back when you want me to treat your arm again." Bella smiled and packed up her stuff, ready to leave as well.

Quil walked her to her truck and just before she closed the door, he stopped her and what he told her then, brought some peace to her worrying heart.

"Jake survived because he somehow still had hope you would return one day."

~~oOo~~

The next day after her talk with Quil, some of the pack came by Leah's house where Bella spent most of her time when she wasn't at Charlie's to see her and talk to her. At first they were pretending to be there for all kind of different reasons but her, then they freely admitted that they enjoyed having her back in La Push. Everyone seemed so at ease and comfortable with each other now, and it made it easy to relax and simply be. So it went on for the next couple of days, until all pack members had seen Bella in person, and had a real chance to reacquaint with her once more.

Everyone agreed that she had changed and everyone realized that she now finally seemed to mean what she said. They believed in her determination and insistence that she really wanted to be part of this life, part of the pack's life and especially a part of Jacob's life.

Paul had surprised her the most. She fully had expected his rejection, but he simply had told her that he would support her all the way, only if she hurt his Alpha again, will he rip her head off. Everybody laughed, but the serious glint in his eyes had told her he really meant it. Bella had actually felt touched by his devotion and she gave him a huge hug.

Bella was happy to finally be included again; it sure had felt strange that most of them had so openly avoided her.

The more days passed, the more impatient Bella became. She wanted to finally have Jacob back. She hated that his business kept him away from home for so long. It's been four whole days already. She missed having him around, two more days to go.

Finally, Wednesday afternoon her phone rang, a number showing up she had hoped to show up since the day she'd added it to her contact list months ago.

"Hello?" She answered, her heart hammering in her chest like crazy.

"I'm on my way, Bella. It should take me three to four hours," he said. His voice sounded a little gruff, but she welcomed it anyway. Just the fact that he actually called her gave her so much hope that everything would get better from now on. "I thought I'd like to take you to First Beach. I can't spend any more time caged in. I'm just sick from being stuck inside…."

"Okay, sure." Bella couldn't stop the smile forming on her lips. He hadn't spoken that freely and open about himself since the time before her wedding. So she didn't hold back answering just as open. "I'd love to go to First Beach with you. I can fix us something to eat real quick, too. You will be hungry."

"Sure, sure," he answered, and to Bella it felt as if he was smiling too. "I'll pick you up around 8 pm." He hung up then, and with a squeal, Bella threw her phone on her bed and danced through her room.

"He's back!" she called and clapped her hands, feeling giddy and excited.

Since he had left for his course, she had been carefully planning the coming days' events, and Jake was the sole agenda item. She was planning her next move so to speak. She was going to see him today and if she could have her way, they would spend the night together. But seriously, she thought, today is the day where Jake will really get to know this new Bella. She would never let him go again, she would take care of him for the rest of their lives.

Right now though, she had to hurry up and concentrate on the next three to four hours. She had food to prepare and then polish up herself, it was barely enough time to get all the things done, but she would master it. She had no doubt.

~~oOo~~

The night before...

Jake was laying in his uncomfortable and too-short motel bed, stroking himself yet again. Although having rubbed one out for several times in a row by now, he still was horny. Right now, masturbating was the only way he could relieve some of the strain resting on his mind. He was desperate to phase or at least go for a run as he hadn't been able to phase for almost a week. With his tight studying schedule there simply was no time to run to a place hidden enough to allow him phasing. The ugly asphalt streets didn't exactly appeal for a two-legged run either.

Currently located in the middle of Seattle for his CE Renewal course, his wolf was making him stir-crazy and the man was close to follow. Studying had never been his strongest feat. He was a physical person through and through, being confined in crowded rooms with people he didn't know and couldn't stand made him agitated and aggressive. He found it harder to control himself each day, he barely stopped himself from growling at people any more. Tomorrow, he would have to do his test and then he would be done with. It was about high time or he might burst out of his skin soon enough.

Sometimes he wondered if it hadn't been more fitting to make a living out of repairing cars. He had always loved to put his hands of stuff and make it work again, but back then-when Bella had married the leech-being in his garage had been torture for him. It brought back all the good memories, and the bad. He couldn't deal with it at all. So he decided to do something ENTIRELY different. Now, it wasn't that he hated his job; he enjoyed being with people and showing them their future possible homes, it was just the studying and renewals that really bothered him.

He turned in his bed. He had gone to bed early last night after going through his notes for a last time with his mind full of paragraphs, credit scores, foreclosures and short sales. Sleep didn't come though and he couldn't get Bella out of his mind either, so he simply resigned himself to let his mind wander. He thought about everything related to her, thought about the beginning when he first fell in love with her as a child.

Growing up and watching her bloom into a beautiful girl and then a young woman had always taken his breath away. Lying his this bed, he could still see her clearly in his mind, smell her clearly and recall exactly the feel of her creamy white skin was like.

You could run to her… his wolf proposed. We are fast. Along with his suggestion, his wolf bombarded him with memories so vivid, his body jerked forward.

"Stop it!" Jacob growled and forced himself to stay put. He had to be reasonable. This damn renewal was really important, he couldn't fuck it up now just because he couldn't wait for another day.

His wolf, animal that it was, didn't see reason at all. I want her! She's our mate!

More pictures came, the wolf remembering the way she smelled and how she would feel under him.

Jacob groaned. His hand was moving faster and faster up and down his long thick shaft. He couldn't help but call out her name yet again. And that was just the other fucking problem he was dealing with. As if it wasn't enough he was craving Bella, his wolf was practically assaulting him with images and memories of her out of pure boredom, making it damn clear that he finally wanted to stake his claim on Bella.

"Fuck that," he scolded himself. He simply couldn't run to her and that was it. His wolf just had to deal with it for another night.

Damn, he was so hard it hurt. He fastened his pace, creating one of his favorite fantasies of her: her on all fours in front of him, her back arched, her ass raised in the air. He groaned out loud and gripped himself harder. Ripping up and down on his cock, he finally exploded.

Eventually, he fell asleep only to be woken up when his alarm went off a couple of hours later. Tiredly, he got up and fixed himself a coffee. He flipped through his notes for a last time and then trudged into the bathroom.

The spray of hot water running down his body felt good. He needed that shower. He was deep in thought. Once again, it was all about Bella, she would not allow much room for anything else anymore in his brain.

He was still mad about how she had chosen her path, how she had hurt him and how she simply married this leech and leaving him behind. She had ripped his heart out and took it with her with no second thought. But the past weeks had him convinced that this time she really seemed to mean it. He could not detect any hesitation or subtle lies in the way she acted, moved and smelled. He had gotten good at reading her body language, he and his wolf had been watching her closely. There was no way she would be betraying them once again.

"Yes," he thought again, he had always loved this girl, and always will. Now she is back and from what it seemed determined to stay...stay with him.

The days they had spend together taking care of Yuma had softened his resolve. He could no longer deny that he needed her; he simply needed her like he needed air to survive. Could he risk opening his heart again?

As he rinsed the soap out of his hair, it suddenly became crystal clear to him, that he will give them a chance. "Wait, what?" His heart fluttering, his mind raising, he just knew that the time has come. He went through so much, they all had. He needed to let go and try, simply try.

~~oOo~~

Bella woke out of her restless slumber. She had tossed and turned all night, thinking of Jake throughout the night. Her fingers had reached down her stomach, over her thighs and finally had found her heated, wet center. Massaging her clit, his name crossed her lips every time she had climaxed.

Regardless of the little sleep she had gotten the last night, she felt fresh after her hot shower when she sat down for her breakfast.

What Quil revealed to her yesterday had only strengthened her decision, she was determined more than anything now. Things were going to change she promised herself.

There is only moving forward now and she won't stop, not ever again. Both of them deserved each other, they deserved their happily ever after. They went through too much.

That thought had made her smile again, as she cleared the table off and washed the few items she had just used for her breakfast.

~~oOo~~

"Time to get dressed" she said to herself, feeling giddy. With a smiling face she stood in front of her closet, debating on the skinny jeans or her new black tights. She decided for the skinny Jeans and took out her tall black boots as well. She pulled out a white blouse and her favorite brown knitted vest with faux fur patches all around debating whether Jake would like to see that on her or not.

She shook her head, berating herself. Jake wouldn't care what she wore as long as she was comfortable in it. At least, that's how it had always been. She hoped that it still applied and hadn't changed, however, she hoped that he would appreciate her sexy outfit.

She probably put too much effort into how she'd look tonight, but it was going a significant event in both of their lives. After all, she went back and forth in her mind, they were only going to First Beach and not to some fancy restaurant, but she really wanted to look good for Jacob. So she had actually curled her hair and put on some mascara and lipstick. When she turned in front of her mirror, she liked what she saw and she felt really confident in herself.

She hoped that Jacob would take her to their driftwood tree. It had been "their" place right from the beginning and it just felt right for it to be the place for a new start.

The doorbell rang, just when she buttoned up her blouse. Jake was early. Obviously, he was just as impatient as she was. She hurried down the stairs as fast as she dared-she still hadn't overcome her clumsiness und already had her boots on.

Ripping the door open, she found him standing there with a serious face. His eyes locked on hers immediately. His intense stare brought butterflies right to her tummy. She noticed his eyes wandering down her body, totally checking her out without even trying to hide it. She couldn't help herself but look him up and down as well. He looked amazing in his jeans and black tee, and she unconsciously licked her lips.

They were both aware that they were beyond pretense, this was going to be it!

"Hi!" she finally managed to croak out. "Come in and let me just put our food in a bag, then we can leave."

He only stood there, still looking at her, wonder in his eyes and a slight smile on his sexy lips. Then his eyes came to a halt at her chest. He suddenly burst out laughing, reaching out to touch her there.

"Hey! what are you doing?!" Bella took a step back, slapping at his hand, but a smile formed on her face in response to his laugh.

Jacob caught her hand easily, before she had a chance to slap him. "Now, now…" he said with a growl. His eyes burned into hers.

Her breath caught and her heart pumped excitedly in her chest. His touch and his closeness made her feel all kinds of wonderful. She was so in awe of him, he took her breath away.

He then smiled and hummed appreciating as he slowly leaned in, sniffing at the point beneath her ear.

Bella thought she would pass out any moment, his sudden nearness making her dizzy with need and he smelled so damn good. What was going on?

"Where did you learn how to button your clothes, Bells?" he now asked, his breath ghosting over her neck.

She shivered. Aware that he had asked her a question, she tried to process his words, but too engrossed in the feelings he ignited, she failed to come up with an answer.

He stepped back with a low chuckle, his finger tenderly brushing along her cheek. "Oh, Bells," he said softly. "It feels amazing seeing you respond to me that strongly. But how will we pull through our talk if you space out on me when I touch you?"

Gently, he steered her back inside the house and stopped walking when they stood in front of a mirror that hung in the hall.

She looked up and blushed fiercely, recognizing her misbuttoned blouse. "Typical," she muttered, smirking at Jake through the mirror. "Some things will never change."

Looking up, she noticed Jacob's face harden as he clenched his jaw. "I hope they do!" he ground out, a flicker of insecurity and hurt showing in his eyes.

Bella let out a sigh. "I'm here to stay, Jake." she said. "I have had a very long time to think about all the mistakes I made during the last several years."

She shook her head, trying to fight the burning tears away that built up in her eyes. Her emotions were getting the better of her, but she wanted to stay focused. She needed to tell Jake exactly how she felt and with absolute certainty knew, that they belonged together. "I know who I am deep inside, Jake. I know what I want and what I need. It is you. It's always been you."

They completed each other, they depended on each other and she knew, that they were simply made for each other.

"I promise," she said with a steady voice while fixing her buttons. "You will need to learn to trust me."

Giving her a curt nod, Jacob stepped back and walked into the kitchen. He still seemed torn, but he said then, "Bella, why don't we get packed up and go? I have plenty to say to you as well, and I want to be outdoors with you when I do. It's easier for me to deal with stuff when I walk..."

Together they packed up the food and several cans of soda, which he held up with a meaningful raise of his eyebrows, but there was some tension between them now.

They both understood that building back up their friendship or even being together would take some time, but this was the chance they had been looking for and both would be damned if they let this chance go by.

~~oOo~~

**A/N: We hope you have enjoyed this chapter. Thank you guys for your continued support, we appreciate you all so much. Let us know what you think.**

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	21. Hostage of Love - It Was Always Us

**A/N: Thank you so much everyone for your continued support and dedication. We feel very honored to have you as our readers.**

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**Listening suggestion: **

**"****Hallelujah" by Mr Jeff Buckley**

**Hostage of Love**

**Chapter 20**

**It Was Always Us**

"And, when you want something,

all the universe conspires

in helping you to achieve it."

_― __Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist_

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

_Together they packed up the food and several cans of soda, which he held up with a meaningful raise of his eyebrows, but there was some tension between them now._

_They both understood that building back up their friendship or even being together would take some time, but this was the chance they had been looking for and both would be damned if they let this chance go by._

They drove up to La Push in silence. Jake seemed to be in deep thought. Bella could almost physically feel how hard Jacob was fighting against the flared up hurt and insecurities.

He held himself rigid with his hands around the steering wheel in a grip so hard, his knuckles turned white. His jaw was still clenched, lips pressed together in a tight line. He had his eyes on the road without glancing at her at all.

Rolling her lips, Bella tried to come up with a remark or gesture that might ease him up a little, but instinct told her it wouldn't work and it wouldn't be welcome. So she finally settled with trying to relax, hoping to transfer some calm onto him. She leaned back, letting her head rest against the seat and closed her eyes.

What she didn't notice was that in doing so she exposed her neck to him-and the wolf REALLY liked seeing her like this; making herself vulnerable, submitting to him. Out of the corner of his eyes, Jacob watched the slight, rhythmically pulsing underneath her skin. He watched the pulsing first, counting the strong, steady beats, then his eyes strayed along the stretch of her neck and the creamy, white skin. He could smell her nervousness, the anxiety of doing something wrong. She was trying so hard.

Jacob swallowed around the lump in his throat. She had changed so much. Gone was the insecure, selfish little girl. Sitting next to him was a woman, fighting for him, fighting to regain his trust, and it felt so fucking good.

Now it was up to him to let go of his resentful feelings towards her. It was so damn difficult, but he was going to try very hard.

"I'm not the same man anymore…" Jacob finally said as they took the turn into La Push.

Bella opened her eyes and turned her head to look at him. "I'm not the same girl either. We both have changed and that is okay."

"I did some things I'm not proud of. How will I know you won't run again when I put all my cards on the table?" His face was an unreadable mask, hiding everything that could give his emotions away.

"How will I know you won't flip when I tell you what has happened to me or what I have done?" Bella retorted. "All we can do is try and make the best out of it all." She paused and took a deep breath. "I don't intend to run if that's what you're thinking…"

Jacob didn't say anything to that and stoically kept on driving.

Bella had the feeling there was more he had to say, but that he wasn't ready yet. She had hoped and fantasized about how their date might go, hoping for a positive outcome. Reality is that until now it was slightly awkward and tense. She feared that it would stay like this until they both had talked it all out. However, she wasn't going to back out. She would pull through with it, hoping that Jacob would relax at some point and start to see that she really meant it.

"How was your week?" she asked, trying to fill the silence. They had passed the main street and the road leading to the beach started to become noticeably bumpy.

Jacob grunted, pushing his hand through his hair nervously. "Guess it was okay."

They stopped and parked the truck. She climbed out and slammed the door shut. When she turned around, Jacob was right behind her. He stood there, looking at her intensely, his eyes burning into hers. Slowly he moved in, and for a moment she thought that he might kiss her.

Her eyes traveled down to his mouth and slowly back up to his fiery eyes. Then she noticed that he was actually blocking her path as he put both hands on the top of his truck, successfully caging her in. He looked at her, studying her face, listening to her accelerating heartbeat.

"Let's suppose I'm really going to give us a try..." he finally said with a dark voice. "Will Cullen come after you? And how long..." He paused for a moment. "...are you really planning on staying this time?"

"This is my home, Jake! I will never leave again! I belong here… I have had years to think about all the wrong decisions that I had made...I will regret them for the rest of my life, Jake, please believe me… I belong with you!" she said with passion and conviction, looking deep into his eyes.

"Cullen?" he repeated darkly.

She let out a nervous laugh that bordered on a snort. "He won't come after me! I made it very clear to him that he and I are done. He hurt me, Jake, in more ways than you can imagine. He was so wrong for me and I am ashamed about the choices that I made. He is and always will be my biggest regret. I can't say it often enough, I am so sorry!"

She lifted her arm and wrapped her fingers around his wrist. "Jake, I know you have still many doubts about my intentions, but all I can ask you right now is to please believe me. I'm completely and utterly done with him. No! Better yet, he is literally and figuratively DEAD to me..."

He bit his tongue, swallowing his sarcastic remark about Cullen always having been nothing more than a walking corpse anyway. Sarcasm would not do him any good. Not anymore.

With narrowed eyes, Jacob stepped back, slipping out from her hold, and closing his eyes for a moment. Trying to get the images of this fucking bloodsucker hurting Bella out of his head, he deliberately took a deep breath as he bend to retrieve the cooler and a blanket out of his truck.

"Come on," he said with a husky voice, while putting his hand on the small of her back, pushing her forward gently. "Let's go."

Until now, he had only felt her sincerity. He felt better by the minute, finally convinced that she was being absolutely honest with him. The fact that this fucker had hurt her, he would file away for now and deal with it later. His wolf calmed down only slightly but it was a start for now. "Back the hell off!" He hissed at his wolf inwardly, as he felt him clawing at him, urging him on to make a damn move already. He, Jacob, was in charge now.

He pressed his hand a little firmer on her back, pulled her a little closer to him, and it felt real good having her there by his side. He intended it staying that way, he needed her so bad, it hurt.

They walked down the path to the beach; all the while Jacob had his arm on her back. Bella took deep breaths, taking in the fresh, salty smell of the ocean. She enjoyed hearing the waves break on the shore and the seabirds' shrill cries as they dove into the water. The wind blew into her face, whipping her hair, and she was very much aware of Jacob's presence by her side.

It was peaceful and she promised to savor this moment for as long as she could.

He led them straight to their driftwood tree and unceremoniously dropped the blanket and the cooler.

"I need to walk for a while. Been sitting on my ass all week long," he explained and bent down to unlace his boots and tossed them off. His socks came off next and then he rolled up his jeans.

Admiring the shape of his ass and the strong physique of his muscled calves, Bella sat down on the tree and started to take her boots off as well.

As she dropped her first boot, she looked up to notice Jacob stood there with his body turned towards the ocean. He had his hands shoved into his pockets, his feet were buried in the sand and his face was tilted up into the wind. He was visibly relaxed, seemed to have become one with the nature around him. All that had bothered him before, seemed to have fallen off of him. He seemed to be at ease.

She suddenly understood that some of the tension from before stemmed from Jake being stuck inside a building or a car as he was in a hotel and at training for the week. She wondered if it was something about the flight and fight instincts every person had ingrained inside. It would be a stronger conflict for Jacob with his lupine senses and instincts. Bella promised to herself to preserve this realization for any later occasions that may arise where they would need to talk things out.

"Walk with me," Jacob called. His resonant voice left no room for discussion. Rich and deep, it was as much invitation as it was demand.

It brought her up on her feet, tumbling, while she still tried to slip out of her other boot.

"Easy there." He was by her side in an instant, steadying her with a holding hand around her elbow.

The other boot dropped to the ground. "Thanks," she murmured, quickly averting his amused gaze.

"Still too clumsy to hold yourself upright, Bells?"

"You just startled me, is all." She smiled at him, when she looked up at his face; a face she knew so well and loved wholeheartedly.

She knew without a doubt that they had finally arrived. Both were determined and, most important, ready for each other.

He took her hand into his as they walked slowly side by side and she instantly squeezed it tighter, making sure he will not let go of her. They walked in comfortable silence, neither one wanted to break this feeling of contentment.

When Bella turned her head toward the last sunrays sliding through the incoming clouds and closed her eyes with a sigh, Jake stopped walking to take her in. He turned in front of her, blocking the last bright light and slightly leaned in.

Her eyes opened and she got lost in the depths of his beautiful eyes.

They stood there quietly, looking into each other's souls.

The kiss came automatically; their tongues instantly giving and taking at the same time.

It was a sweet and slow kiss, a kiss which spoke louder than any words ever could. Both were slowly savoring, remembering and both knew that they had arrived home at last.

Jake's wolf all but hummed in satisfaction. This was what he wanted; this woman was their future, for both man and wolf. She was their everything.

Tears slid down both of their cheeks, the salty taste apparent in each other's mouth. Jake mouth slowly moved up her face, kissing away her tears as she was gently trailing her thumb over his cheek to gently wipe his away.

No words were spoken; there was no need for it.

Jake pulled her down to the sand, placing her into his lap to cradle her like a baby, his lips still caressing her face. He took a deep breath and held her head with both hands, ever so softly laying it onto his shoulder; he needed to smell her hair.

She put her face into his throat and took in his scent, filling every pore within her body. Strong feelings for him overwhelmed her; it was so much, her heart wide open and knowing that she will give it to him completely. She noticed that her heartbeat was matching his exactly.

Both of their eyes were still wet when they locked on each other's once again.

Their souls connecting deeper with every breath they took.

Every blink of their eyelashes went noted, observed and treasured.

Their hands moving up each other's faces, stroking so very gentle...the need of touching, caressing, devouring every curve and plain of their faces, every speck of light within their eyes, every color tone and wave of their hair and the deep recognition and knowledge that they came home to each other at last.

Time seemed of no importance, they had wasted too much of it as it was. This silent moment spoke louder and clearer than any conversation they could have had right now. Words were still important, but not right now.

Together they watched the setting sun, relishing in the beauty of the moment. It was only when Jacob's stomach growled hungrily that they got up and walked towards their driftwood tree where they had left their food.

Jacob laid out the blanket while Bella put out the sandwiches and the soda. As they sat down and started eating, Jacob looked at her and asked, "So, what's with the self-defense moves you pulled on Quil that night?" He cocked his head, curiosity shining in his eyes.

Putting her sandwich aside, Bella sat up a little straighter. "I attended my first self-defense course when I was still in college and it was really good. Then I started having anxiety attacks and while the training didn't help with the anxiety, the physical workout helped me to gain strength and a better sense of balance. I felt more confident although I knew all my self-defense moves would never help me survive an encounter with a vampire," she said.

Jacob nodded in understanding, while chewing on his sandwich. Inside, his wolf became restless, because to him it was quite obvious that the leech must have something to do with Bella's anxiety issues.

"And the anxiety started because?" Jacob inquired and instantly added, "It has something to do with Cullen hurting you, you said?"

"It had to do with Edward trying to force himself on me on our wedding night, but mainly, it was a reaction to everything that had happened with James and Victoria. PTSD. That's what the psychologist said anyway. Not that I could really tell her the truth." Bella said and then paused to gauge Jacob's reaction.

Frozen, holding his sandwich halfway to his mouth, Jacob processed what she had revealed to him. _The leech had fucking WHAT?_

He could relate about the PTSD, but he was shocked learning about Edward. He'd never thought him sinking that low. On the outside, he seemed calm, but inside he was raging. He was trying to hold it together though, because he needed to know everything. He needed to know to understand Bella's actions and reactions.

It took him awhile, but then he took her hand and pressed it slightly, motioning her to continue.

Bella took a deep breath. She dealt a lot better now with those memories, but it was still hard talking about it. "It got worse almost every day, and one day-it was the second Christmas since the wedding-he approached me and once again tried convince me that I belong with him. He tried to dazzle me. When he didn't get his way, he threatened me with the Volturi coming after me.

I actually punched him in the face, defending myself, which felt real good, even though I fractured my hand. Knowing that the Volturi might come one day was unbearable...

Rosalie promised me that Alice would know if they decided to come and check on me, after all, time is meaningless for vampires. I didn't want them to risk their lives trying to protect me. Not again. I still felt so guilty for all of you risking your lives for me because of Victoria already. I didn't want to be put in that position again."

Bella rubbed her face, feeling stressed from the remembrance of that time. Jacob's arms came around her once again. He pulled her into his lap. A soothing rumble vibrated through his chest. He stayed silent otherwise, giving her the chance to all speak it out.

"The worst thing was that I had no one to talk to about that kind of threat. No one that knew… that there were creatures who think that humans are nothing more than snacks... Creatures that you can't defeat with your hands... And I had been stupid enough to make myself known to them. It is my fault because I was blinded by love, or what I believed at the time at least that this was love. I let myself be manipulated and didn't see Edward for what he really is. It did not take him very long at all to show his true colors. He did also not care any longer by letting me know the manipulations he put my mind through.

Jake, reality hit home very fast for me, even before Edward revealed his true self to me. I had this very strange feeling that something is going to happen soon, something was wrong, I just knew it.

I regretted marrying him. I regretted leaving you. My heart was hurting each and every time I thought of you, and what I had done to both of us."

Jacob still kept listening to her without interrupting. His body shaking slightly was the only sign how churned up he was.

"I regretted how my actions had hurt you. At that point I didn't feel anything but regret, guilt and that terrifying fear of getting found by the Volturi. My therapist felt that I needed to make amends with you, with my dad and with the pack and then start to take over control of my life again."

Bella looked up to find Jacob's eyes. She saw the turmoil in them, but also understanding, and she appreciated that he let her talk without interrupting or judging her.

"From her point of view, a lot of things made sense. She was convinced that going home would make me feel better. She convinced me that even though you obviously had moved on, you still needed to know that I was sorry and that I wanted to make peace between us. Well, I actually knew that by myself and I already had written you that letter you never answered. So I finally came to visit that Christmas, hoping you were willing to hear me out. And then I messed up even more..."

"I never got a letter from you," Jacob spoke up finally. "When did you send this letter to me?"

"It was that Christmas evening when Edward showed up. I wrote it in the morning, went to work and before I went home I threw the letter into the mailbox," Bella remembered. The letter had been very important to her, she still knew every little detail of it.

Writing it had been like cleansing her soul. She had finally dared putting a 'voice' to all those emotions that she had felt. Just writing everything down what she had felt deep within herself for so long, it had made her feel better, see things clearer and understand many of her previous actions much better.

Frowning, she wondered, "Sometimes I think Edward might have stalked me. I can imagine it's not beneath him to have intercepted the letter, but on the other hand letters do get lost sometimes."

A low growl escaped him, making known of his displeasure about the lost letter. It was quite clear to him that the leech would have interfered once again, just at the slight chance of Bella still finding her happiness in her once best friend after all.

Jacob wanted to be honest though, because what he felt right now wasn't even close to what had been going on with him back then. So he told her, "Whatever happened to that letter, we probably will never know. I have to admit though, the way I had felt at that time… I don't know if it would have changed anything at all. I was still too pissed to be reasonable or in any way forgiving."

He offered Bella a can of soda and took one for himself. He drank, put the empty can aside and then asked, "So, what about the Volturi? I don't remember you talking about them." His voice changed, taking a much more stern tone, a timbre she considered might be his Alpha voice. "Do I have to consider them a threat to our tribe? Care to explain some of the details to me? I like to understand where you are coming from and what about them has you running scared."

They settled back a little bit more and Jake held on to Bella's hand, ever so softly to encourage her to trust him with what she clearly needed to voice.

"The Volturi are Vampire Royalty. They enforce vampire law. Do you remember the night I ran away with Alice?"

Jacob growled low, furrowing his brows. "Of course, I remember. I asked you not to go with that little pixie. I begged, in fact. You wouldn't listen, like always."

"I wish I would have," Bella whispered, lowering her head in shame, squeezing Jake's hand slightly. "We went to Italy to save Edward who wanted to kill himself. He thought I was dead. So he decided he wouldn't want to live anymore."

"Why would that fucker go to Italy for that? We would have finished the job alright!"

"The Volturi live there. Edward planned on revealing himself in broad daylight during a festival. And to reveal your identity to a human is forbidden and is punished by death."

Jacob huffed in annoyance. "He's always had a thing for drama. I assume you were caught, trying to stop him?"

"Yes," Bella said with a bitter voice. "They brought us right into their lair. Aro can read your every thought just by touching you, and when he took Edward's hand he learned that obviously I'm immune to some of their powers. He tried to read my thoughts and couldn't. Suddenly, I was very interesting. They discussed the possibility of me becoming a very powerful vampire, a shield. Alice said she'd seen that in the future I would become one of them. After that, we were allowed to leave, but I had to be changed right after the wedding or die."

Jacob's body now vibrated with barely contained agitation. He clenched and unclenched his hands, trying to release some of the quickly growing pressure, but it was useless. His spine tingled with the need to phase, his wolf howling with fury.

"Move!" He ground out through clenched teeth, barely able to wait until Bella had scrambled from his lap. Jumping up to his feet, he let out a roar that made all wildlife flee in a panic.

"And now those fuckers are after you, because you aren't changed yet?!" Jacob's voice was barely recognizable. The wolf was as close to the surface as he was able with Jacob being in his human form, but more than ready to rip his way out and go after those leeches.

"You were forced to live with that fear for all this time and had nobody to share it with?! I'm gonna kill that bastard!"

"Jake, I... I'm responsible for my own-"

"The fuck you are, Bella!" Jacob cut her off. "Those are leeches we're talking about! They knew damn well knew what they were doing when they pulled you in. Each and every one of them! You were fucking seventeen, Bella. They all outlived you by decades if not centuries. They fucking knew the rules and the consequences, too!" he yelled, kicking the sand, making it spew in all directions. "The fortune teller must have seen what would happen. The selfish bitch still decided to take you to Italy, risking your death or worse."

Bella knew he was right. However, as she stood there, she found it hard to control her own raising temper. She looked at him and realized that Jake was barely controlling himself or his wolf now. She felt her own temper getting hotter under her skin once more, but reined it back in a little to stay focused on him.

Pacing up and down before Bella and bellowing out further profanities, Jacob was working himself up to some major fit.

She walked over to him and came to a halt right in front of him. There was only one way now to calm him down and it was with determination and strength. "You'll stop your ranting and raging right now, Jacob Black, or I still stop talking to you until you are!"

She looked him straight in the eye, and he saw the strengths and determination, also her voice was the sternest he had ever heard her talk, and it effectively stopped him in his tracks.

Was this the new and improved Bella; Leah had been talking about? His wolf's interest was piqued, too. He liked a strong female standing up to his bull-headed warrior.

"I need you to just listen to me, Jake. I need you to control those outbursts and quit behaving like a lunatic. Take it or leave it, Jake, but I sure know that I'm not willing for you to finish your fits." With her hands placed on either side of her hips, her eyes were blazing.

_Oh yes did he like Bella standing up to him!_

"I can take when you're angry and pissed at me or at them if you will. It's just that this yelling and kicking things and freaking out on me is making me feel so damn frustrated and helpless."

Her last words made Jake stop walking and take a good look at her. He saw the different girl, the one who had fought so hard, the one that had gotten so much stronger and independent. Deep down though, he saw the scars, and he saw the struggle she seemed to have faced each and every day with herself.

Her eyes looked at him stubbornly. She was determined to stay strong, but he could easily detect the soft and vulnerable side within her eyes.

Taking a deep breath, he settled on their blanket once more. If she needed him to be calm, he was going to try and make sure she felt comfortable around him. "OK Bella, let's sit down for a while and relax. I am sorry! Come, sit with me." He patted the spot next to his own.

Instead of sitting down, Bella slightly shook her head. She saw how riled up Jacob still was, although he really tried to come down. So she suggested, "I'd rather walk." She smiled at him as she swiftly turned around and headed in the other direction. "Come with me!"

She quickly started to pick up her pace and went into a mild jog, hoping he wouldn't be able to resist her invitation. It didn't take long until she felt he was right on her heel.

She heard Jacob's laugh and her heart skipped a few beats. She'd always loved his laugh; it came straight from his soul. When he laughed it was honest and sweet.

He followed her, adapting to her pace for some minutes. When Bella looked over her shoulder, there was a determined look on his face. His eyes darkened. His steps became more purposeful.

Her breathing sped up. She started to increase her speed, but he was closing in on her fast. Then, his warm arms wrapped around her from behind.

"Gotcha!" He growled into her ear, making her shudder from the sensuality of this moment.

"Don't you know you better don't run from a wolf, Bells?" Jacob whispered, his lips skimming over the skin of her neck.

Warmth spread through her like a wildfire. She gasped as he nipped the delicate spot where her neck met her shoulder. Her voice was merely a squeak when she asked, teasing, "Oh really, I shouldn't?"

"Oh, you most definitely should actually," he stated, pressing his body into hers. He growled again, the vibrations reverberating through her whole body. "We do enjoy the chase. So actually go for it, baby," he teased her. "It really excites... us."

Rubbing against her for good measure, Bella could feel him hard and ready. The realization made her desire for him explode, racing through her body and settling between her legs.

Jacob inhaled, groaned, and then he backed her into the boulder next to them, before attacking her lips. Both of his hands holding her head, tilting it up, the kiss was rough and dominating.

Opening her lips to him, she let him in, enjoying his unrestricted passion as he possessively mapped out every square inch of her mouth. With a throaty moan, she brought her hands up, blindly grabbing strands of his hair and holding him close to her.

One hand moved down, roughly following the shape of her body, before stopping at her thigh. He lifted her up easily, and she took the hint, wrapping both her legs around his waist.

He groaned again and pressed into her, his hardened length creating the perfect friction against her crotch. Nearly dizzy with want, her body undulated as she tightened her legs to pull him closer still. _Oh God, she needed him so much!_

Her whimpers and reaction to him fueled his passion. Kissing her, grinding into her, he filled himself with her scent and taste. His wolf howled inside of him, demanding that he take her, claim her, mark her. _Make her ours!_

"Bells," he whispered huskily as he broke their kiss, trying to gain some control over his urges. Letting their passion rule was tempting. _He fucking wanted her so much,_ but it had brought nothing but a shitload of problems in the aftermath last time. They needed to talk it all out first this time! His hands gripping her hips, he wanted to still her movements, but she rubbed up against him with another throaty moan.

Her hands pulling his hair fucking hurt so good, and then she almost climbed up his body. Her lips attached to the skin on his neck, kissing, nibbling and finally sucking. His eyes rolled back as his hips surged forward. _Need. Her._

One of her hands slipped under his shirt, brushing over his abs, sliding up his chest and around to his shoulders. Her nails left scratches when he rocked his hips. He wanted nothing more than to be buried inside of her. "Fuck, Bells!"

"Jake," she cried out, thrusting her chest up, offering her breasts to him. She was strung so tight. She knew she wouldn't need much more stimulation to fall over the edge. "Please!"

She really knew, in the back of her mind, that there was something more important to be done than giving into their lust, but she so didn't want to stop. She had to have him inside of her, needed to be connected with him in the deepest level possible or at least find release so she'd be able to think straight again.

"Look at me, Bella!" Jacob demanded, his hands once again coming up on either side of her face. He stayed pressed against her, but stopped rocking. He was panting with the effort of holding still, and Bella clutching at him like he was her life force didn't make it any easier for him. "Open your eyes and look at me, honey," he growled.

His hips thrust forward on instinct when she opened her eyes and looked up at him through her lashes with unbridled love and passion. She found his eyes were tinged with yellow. It only spurred her on more.

She needed to be one with him, one with the wolf, too! _They both were hers._ She circled her hips on his aching cock, and with a demanding tug, she tried to pull him down to kiss her once again.

He leaned down, his lips hovering over hers. Her tongue slipped out and she fucking licked his lips, requesting entrance. His wolf growled with pleasure, way too willing to give into her demands. _Claim her!_

It was in this moment when Jacob realized he had to take control of the situation and fast.

"You know," he said. His voice was raspy and he was breathing hard as he hovered over her tempting lips. "We both have rushed this before, letting our emotions and needs tell us what to do." His wolf was viciously growling inside of him, not liking where his warrior was heading. It wanted him to take and claim her. It took Jake a lot of effort to ignore his wolf and to mentally tell him to back the hell off. This would be his and only his decision this time.

"There is too much at stake right now, Bells," he continued, but unwilling to withdraw even an inch, he leaned down to kiss her throat and neck with soft lips. "We should not fall into the same pattern again."

Dizzy from his closeness, Bella tried to rein herself in, to get herself back in control again. She knew he was absolutely right and that she should have the sense to stop, but it was just too hard.

His fingertips travelled over the small strip of naked skin where her blouse had ridden up her stomach. His thumb drew slow, hot circles on the soft skin, his hips still continued to push rhythmically into her. It was confusing and in opposition to his words.

"Jake?" she asked breathlessly. "What do you want?"

"The next time we make love with each other, will be when we both have a clear conscience, have put everything out in the open," he said, trailing his lips up her neck and chin to find her lips, soft and needy and oh so willing to kiss him some more. He groaned. It was so hard to resist temptation.

"I don't want there to be anything left unsaid for both of us. We owe this each other, this is too important right now…" he whispered, his hot breath caressing her skin while he let his finger ever so softly glide down her face. He groaned, resting his forehead in the crook of her neck. "Believe me, you are very hard to resist. I want you so badly."

Jacob felt conflicted. He realized his words and his actions were contradicting, but he really _really_ couldn't resist to at least have a little taste…

His hand travelled down her body, skimming over a breast that was aching to be touched, sliding down to her stomach and settling between her thighs where she was so wet and ready for him.

"However... I'm not a saint and you smell so damn good..." he growled as he came to a final decision. He could give them the release they both sought, and still control himself. His lips crashed down on hers, possessively kissing her until she clung to him a quivering mess in the desperate need for release.

"You want to come, Bella?" he asked, his voice rough and husky. His hand put some more pressure to her jeans covered mound.

She shuddered with pleasure and anticipation. Resting her head against the boulder, Bella simply nodded, caught in his passionate eyes.

Quickly opening her jeans, his fingers found their way into her panties, sliding over her nether lips, enjoying the feeling of her the silky wetness. They moaned in unison as he slipped one finger into her and then the second, setting up a swift pace.

"Damn, you're so fucking tight. So wet for me," he whispered against her mouth before kissing her again.

She mewled when he rubbed her inner walls, his thumb expertly circling her clit. "Oh, God, Jake!"

"You like this, Bella?"

She reached out, her hands clutching at his shirt, at his arms, until coming around his neck. Hoisting herself up a little, she started to move with him, started to fuck his fingers now. "More, Jake!" she panted in between frenzied kisses.

Breaking free from her lips and latching on to her collarbone, scraping his teeth over the sensitive skin, he rasped, "Trust me you're not ready for what I plan on doing to you."

She shivered at his words, and a fresh flood of wetness coated his fingers. He nearly came unhinged.

"Touch me, too, Bella!" he ordered and she complied instantly. Letting her legs slide down until her feet were back on the ground, she unbuttoned his pants and his hot length sprang free.

Rearranging them, Jacob continued sliding his fingers in and out of her, while she started to run her hand up and down his cock. She licked her lips unconsciously as she spread the liquid pearling from his tip.

"Rub my cock," he hissed. _Fuck, this felt so good. She felt so good._ And he was so close to fucking erupt already. "Harder, Bells. Faster!" he demanded and sliding a third finger into her warmth, he sped up fingerfucking her.

She gripped him harder, moved her hand faster, trying to stay upright through her legs threatening to give out under her. Her free hand searched his, and they clutched hands, anchoring each other in their frenzy. Bringing up their joined hands over her head, they continued kissing fervently.

His fingers pistoning in and out of her, her hand rubbing him faster and harder they spiraled towards their release. When she came, she cried out, her walls clenching around his fingers. Lost in her passion, she bit down on his lower lip, and Jacob lost it. With a roar he let go, shooting his seed all over her hand and stomach.

**~~oOo~~**

When she opened her eyes, she was greeted by his cocky smirk. "Feeling better?" He asked, pulling his fingers out of her and enjoying her shudder against him.

She had her hand still wrapped around him and squeezed his cock, before letting go of him. With a similar proud grin she answered, "Slightly."

He groaned, barely stopping himself from licking her juices off his fingers and rutting up against her once again.

He stepped back a little, bringing some distance between them. She just looked too tempting with those hooded eyes and lips swollen from his kisses.

Looking down her body, she stated, "You made a mess, Jake."

Tucking his still half hard cock away and then pulling his shirt over his head, Jacob shrugged with just another cocky grin dancing over his lips. "I'm not sorry," he said, handing her his shirt to clean up with.

She laughed. "I can see that." She wiped off his cum from her hand and her stomach before looking at him again.

"Well, that certainly was intense," she said, gone was the teasing tone, reaching out to grab his hand.

"The physical part has never been the problem and I guess,..." He pulled her into his side. "We just needed this. Let's go back though. I'm kinda hungry here."


	22. Chapter 22

Hostage of Love

Chapter 21

Healing

**A/N: We have reached our 200 mark on group members, yippee! Thank you guys so much for your continued support . We feel very honored to have you as our readers. **

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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

~~oOo~~

_"Well, that certainly was intense," she said, gone was the teasing tone, reaching out to grab his hand._

_"The physical part has never been the problem and I guess,..." He pulled her into his side. "We just needed this. Let's go back though. I'm kinda hungry here."_

~~oOo~~

They walked back to their spot in silence. They also ate without speaking, but it was comfortable, it felt good.

"After your wedding, I changed so much I barely knew/recognized myself anymore, I ceased to exist," Jacob said when they had finished eating. "All I felt was hurt and anger and I pretty much despised you for leaving me, for never giving me a chance. I left your wedding party, and went running until I reached the cliffs. I seriously considered whether or not it would kill me if I jumped. Leah went after me and found me quickly. But you know this since you found me as well."

He stopped talking then for a moment, thinking quietly as he looked at her. "How did you find me anyway? Why would you come looking for me on your fucking wedding night?" Jacob wanted to know.

"I needed to see you", she stated simply." I couldn't stand the way we parted. I wanted to apologize..." Bella explained quietly. "I was so anxious, and I had this feeling of dread. It was as if I could feel your pain. Maybe I did, but maybe I was just being selfish again. Instead of leaving you alone, I was trying to make you understand my reasons once again without considering yours. Looking back, I still can't figure out what drove me to this point." She looked up at him. Both their eyes reflected the pain they'd both been feeling that night.

"We were driving towards the airport and the anxious feeling just got worse. When I demanded to see you, Edward yelled at me. He'd never yelled at me before, but he chose that moment to drop his facade, I guess. Suddenly, though, he was all too willing to give in and lead me toward you. I've suspected for the longest time that he knew exactly what he was doing. He had to have heard you and Leah. There's no way he DIDN'T know what you were doing..." Her voice broke and she stopped to compose herself.

Leaning into each other, they watched the sun slowly go down while covering the sky in shades of fiery red, violet and blue. The hardest part of their talk was yet to come, but both were determined to see it through.

Eventually, Bella confessed, "Seeing you with Leah was a real eye opener. I finally realized what I had done, what I had lost. I felt betrayed, imagine that, but my heart was simply breaking at this very moment, and I was not thinking clearly any longer. I just kept seeing the two of you naked, and I was petrified. I could not understand how quickly you had moved on. I felt jealous and I envied Leah. I wanted to be the one in your arms. I wanted to be the one for you at that moment... I felt humiliated on top of that when she sent me away and you just let her."

Jacob listened quietly, acknowledging but not commenting.

"I guess that's what you'd been feeling all the time seeing me with Edward," Bella whispered, feeling the guilt and the pain all over again.

He was working his teeth, his jaw muscles clenching as he remained silent. Then he said, "Leah helped me through that night, Bella. She offered solace and I took it. My hope that you'd see reason and leave the leech was crushed for good, after you really went through with the wedding. You had chosen him, this not even living... thing… over me. Words could not even begin to describe how hurt I was."

"Leah and I made a deal. We could, if we really tried, find some kind of peace and comfort in each other, even if we weren't in love. We both loved and knew we would always love other people. We also knew it would piss Sam off, which was all Leah was longing for at that time, and I kinda learned that sex distracted me from my misery for at least a little while. We pretty much used each other, but for us it worked quite fine."

"Then you got Leah pregnant and claimed your place as Alpha," Bella said, searching for Jacob's hand.

Jacob took Bella's hand squeezing it. "Our wolves fought bitterly over Leah and over the Alpha status. Sam was actually fighting much harder over Leah than to remain Alpha. I was more than surprised to say the least. So, claiming my rightfully owed Alpha position was sorta easy and natural."

"Once Sam was no longer the alpha, it was easy for him to question and fight his imprint to Emily and finally broke it to be with Leah. I backed out of my relationship with her immediately. I wanted Leah to be happy. My wolf was okay with the new developments as long as I got to see my son. For a while, things started to look up and get better. My wolf was content with being top dog and having its puppy. I was happy for Leah. For the first time, I felt kinda content and hopeful that maybe I could move on and find my happiness as well. One day. Eventually." He paused and with a dark voice, he then stated, "Then you returned."

"I saw how you looked at her, Jake. You were so proud when she put Yuma into your arms. Leah just had told me what she deemed to be important, and I figured you'd be with her seeing that Yuma had to be your son."

"Leah was just being protective. She didn't trust you back then. She had no reason to and you knew that," Jacob said as the pain over her leaving returned in full force. Trying not to emotionally distance himself, he concentrated hard on the feeling of having Bella in his arms and how good it felt.

"I know," Bella answered, "I know it all now. Leah and I talked about it."

"I know," Jacob grumbled. "You'd been talking over the phone for quite a while, plotting and planning, too."

Bella wondered how she ever doubted him knowing exactly what was going on, she briefly coughed and simply broke out laughing through her tears. But it really sounded like she was about to choke on something. She quickly tried to keep her voice steady and herself together though. She needed to be strong and see this talk through. "I wanted you back. Leah offered her help and I decided to take what she had offered me. It's simple as that."

"You didn't have to leave in the first place. You should have given me the chance to explain, Bella." Jacob pointed out.

"I didn't want to ruin your relationship, Jake. I did what I thought would be the best for you. That is why I left. I know different now, but I didn't know it back then."

"Best would have been if you had let me talk to you and explain. But-" Jacob paused, studying her face, tenderly wiping away the tears from her eyes. "I understand how it must have looked from the outside. I can see how you couldn't believe me. Throw in Leah and the crying baby. It was all a big fucking mess."

"I could never regret what we had shared physically. It was the best moment of my life Jake, it was the most amazing thing ever." Bella said. "In retrospect, I am sure none of this would have happened if we had talked first."

"Yeah, that's why I didn't want us to screw each other's brains out earlier," Jake said with a grin.

"Got more kids to confess, Jake?" Bella responded laughing.

"Nah, wrapped it up real good. I'm a quick learner, you know."

"You didn't though when you and I were together," Bella quipped, and suddenly they were back to being serious. Seeing Jacob's face fall she quickly added, "Nothing happened. And if... I'd have told you."

After that, they once again stayed silent for a long time, each of them lost a little in their thoughts. Again, it was a pensive but also a comfortable silence.

"Jacob?" Bella eventually asked, peering into his dark eyes. "I need you to be honest with me. I know you were in a bad place when I left. How bad was it really?"

Jacob turned his head, uncomfortable under her stare. "What makes you think I want to talk about it?"

"We promised to be honest with each other." Bella put her hand on his cheek, trying to make him turn his head and look at her again. He wouldn't budge. "I could tell you what it did to me, but I think there was enough talking about myself already. You need to share as well."

Jacob grunted, his muscles jumping as he fought his agitation. Talking about himself about a time when he was at his lowest? That for sure made him feel raw and stripped. And no, he didn't like it in the slightest.

He pulled her closer into him, needing her to anchor himself.

"I won't interrupt you, Jake, and I won't judge you. I will simply listen to you as you were listening to me." Bella promised.

Jacob still felt apprehensive. While the wolf was content to have her this close, the man had stopped trusting anyone outside of his pack a long time ago. This girl was the reason for all of it, she had made him the way he was and he needed her to hear it, to feel all the pain she had put him through. It took Jacob all he had to not push her away at that moment.

Suddenly, Bella wiggled out of his hold and climbed onto him to straddle his lap. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and buried her face in his neck. "Tell me what I need to know. I need to hear all of it. I really need you to trust me again. I will do whatever it takes!"

"It's not that easy, Bella. You pretty much fucked me over when you ran off!" He ground out. "You knew how I was feeling about you. You still never gave me a real chance. You decided what was best for me? You could have fucking asked me!" His hands slid to her hips and gripped her hard. His voice was hoarse. Her heart clenched feeling his raw pain.

"I'm a fucking wolf, Bella. I fight vampires for fuck's sake. And then there is you. This tiny slip of a girl and you managed to bring me to my knees. Not once but twice. I fucking resented you for that!"

"I let anger and hate control me, I did not even care anymore. I let myself become weak because of you. I blamed you for all the things I did... the alcohol, bar fights, random women, running off and fighting leeches on my own, ignoring my son..." He took a deep, shuddering breath. "At some point, I saw no reason to live anymore, and I blamed you for it."

"I'm sorry, Jake! I'm so sorry. I just wanted you to be happy with Leah and Yuma and do the un-selfish thing for once in my life when it came to you..."

"Stop it, Bella, and hear me out. I'm not done yet." Jacob demanded. He wrapped his arms around her, both holding her and holding onto her. "There wasn't one single day I didn't think about you. I never stopped loving you, Bells. You leaving hurt so damn much. Blaming you was easier than taking responsibility for my own actions."

"I lost so much time with Yuma, nobody trusted me any longer to be near my own son. Did you know I barely remember his first year? I was fucking drunk all the time. Missed the first time he sat up, when he took his first steps and when he said ''Dada' for the first time, it wasn't meant for me."

Bella hugged Jacob harder as sobs shook him and all the bottled-up guilt poured out of him.

As she held him, he realized how freeing it felt to let it all out, and so he talked without holding back, hoping she fucking wouldn't disregard the trust he put into her once again.

Her own tears soaked his shirt as he let himself become vulnerable around her.

"Jake .. I'm so, so sorry. No matter what, I will stay for good. I will never leave again. This is where I want and need to be. I belong here. I am very drawn to be here with you, Jake. As long as you'll want me. I want to build a life with you, a family, having children and grow old together."

Warily, Jacob pulled back a little so he could see her eyes. "Bella, you do realize that is what I always wanted. It's all I ever wanted, but I still have a million fucking issues. I'm an alcoholic for one, then there's my pack and my Alpha duties, and there will always be vampires that need to be killed," he said with a bitter edge to his voice. "There will never be just me. The pack relies on me, my father needs me, my tribe relies on me. I can't leave La Push as long as I'm going to phase. And then here will always be Yuma."

"Yuma will never be an issue, Jake. I love your son. I'm sure with the four of us he'll always be taken care of." Bella responded passionately. "And you know I deeply care about the pack. We were friends once and I am going to do my very best to be able to earn their trust once again. I gave all of this a lot of thought already, Jake. I know what to expect."

"So you thought about it a lot," Jacob said dryly. "It's all theory right now. What happens when things don't work out easily? What if you realize it's not what you thought?"

"You'll need to forgive me eventually and trust me again. It won't happen right away. I'm quite aware of it." Her gaze was heated, her words passionate. "I want this, I want you, and everything that comes with it."

He could feel the truth behind her words deep inside his gut.

Holding her face in his hands, he tilted it toward his. "I know that, Bells. I want to trust you. I've been angry and bitter for such a long time, it feels strange to forgive. But I want to. You fought so hard for me those last weeks..."

She caressed his cheek with her fingertips. "I'm afraid too, Jake," she whispered. "I'm afraid I can't live up to your expectations. I feel so damn guilty for everything that happened." Gazing up at him, she wondered, "Will I be strong enough to not always take the blame when we have a fight? Will you be able to endure my panic attacks when things get hard?

"There is so much that could pull us apart, but it could also make us strong." She smiled at him, but her lips quivered. She knew what was at stake and that it wouldn't be easy. "You see, I have plenty of issues on my own."

Jacob thought about her words. Then he said, "Guess, we have to face things as they come."

Bella nodded. "We cannot let ourselves be ruled by our fears any longer. Relationships don't come with a guarantee. They are quite hard work."

Emotionally exhausted, they stopped talking. Simply holding each other, they listened to the other's heartbeat and enjoyed the soft touches and tender rubs.

"What about imprinting, Jake? We didn't talk about imprinting yet. What if it happens to you one day?" Bella suddenly asked into his chest. "And before you get mad, Jake... It won't change my decision to be with you."

Jacob let out a deep, possessive growl. "I learned a lot about imprinting since you were gone. I studied our written history and I grilled Old Quil and my Dad for anything they could remember. Imprinting is about the wolf, not about the man, Bella. It's believed that it is about the wolf finding the perfect woman for the man. The spirits will choose the woman that might be the best fit for the warrior to support him and to keep him balanced between the wolf and his human side."

Furrowing her brow, Bella shook her head in disbelief. "They didn't choose wisely with Emily though," she criticized. "Sam had found his perfect woman in Leah even before he turned into a wolf. The imprint to Emily was wrong on all levels."

He studied her for a minute, pleased that she held his gaze. Her eyes were open and honest telling him about her love for him, but also about her fear that he might imprint one day.

Jacob went on to explain some more. "I found old records were a warrior was fighting his imprint. It has happened once or twice before, so we know it is possible. We relied on those records to learn how Sam should proceed and what exactly he had to do to break the imprint to Emily."

He saw hope flare up in her eyes, but she never said it out loud. He understood what she hoped for anyway; that he would still have a choice in this fucked-up curse that came with being a wolf.

"I will never imprint," he told her with certainty. "It's different for me, because I am the Alpha."

He let the words seep in, before proceeding. His gaze was heated, his hold on her tightened. "I CHOSE you a long time ago. I've always only ever wanted YOU. When I couldn't have you I tried to forget about you. I tried EVERYTHING to fucking get you out of my mind. I fought so fucking hard to forget about you, but-" He inhaled deeply, and the counterpart exhale flowed over her, wrapping her in his delicious scent. "There lives a wolf inside of me, and the wolf had always denied all other women. It wanted, needed and flat out demanded it to be you, the woman he knew to be our perfect partner!"

"Only I had fought the wolf every step of the way for a very long time, I never believed this could be possible, to have you permanently in our lives, to make you part of us. I have denied myself so much, never allowing myself to look at possibilities, look at the mistakes we had made, look at my very own and because I was way too stubborn. I have wallowed and given up for way too long.

Things are different now, Bella. I feel more and more in sync with my wolf. I get him and right now he is very hopeful to get his woman, and so am I!"

She noticed his eyes were changing. Like earlier, yellow tinged his brown eyes. When he spoke, his voice had this double timbre, she'd also noticed before. "My wolf chose you as its... mate."

His words raced through her body like lightning, making her all lightheaded and a deep yearning flare up. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, Bella eventually processed what Jacob just told her. "Mate?" she asked. "That's different from an imprint?"

"Damn right," Jacob growled. "Only the real Alpha gets the right to claim a mate. It is much more primal than the imprint. The Alpha will mark his mate when she agrees to it, and she will bear the mark with pride and without any doubt. Once the mating bond is sealed it is final. She will be his in every way."

His intense eyes captured hers. He looked more feral than she had ever seen him. She took an excited breath, realizing that his wolf was as close to the surface as it could get, without Jacob turning into his wolf. "You are it for us, Bella. You are the only one we want. We want to claim you. We want to mark you. We want to make you ours."

Bella swallowed hard. She was dizzy by his intensity. "The mark…" she whispered, her whole body tingling with nervous excitement. "How does it work?"

His lips brushed over her neck, lingering on the spot where her neck met her shoulder. "I will mark you here," he announced, vibrating with barely contained anticipation. "I will be inside of you when I mark you. I will be in total control of you. I will show you pleasure you never felt before. Before long, you'll beg me to finally mark you, and when I give it to you, it will be the most intense thing both of us ever experienced."

Yes, she wanted to be his. She wanted him to mark her. She wanted to be...theirs.

He took her arm, shoving up the sleeve of her blouse, revealing the ugly, cold scar. "My mark will erase all evidence from the bloodsuckers' bite. Only my scent will be left on your body."

Her heart hammered in her chest as Jacob went on. "The mark will let every male wolf know that you're mine. They will see it. They will smell it. Their wolves will back down instantly. They will fear my wrath if they look at you the wrong way!"

Jacob gripped her tighter as the tension between them increased. His fine sense of smell told him that her scent was changing. The more she thought about his words the more it became inviting; ripe and ready for him.

"Once you bear my mark, you won't be able to have children with anyone but me. You won't age as long as I am going to phase. Should I fall in battle, you'll die. Should you pass away, I will follow. Your life will be bound to my life irrevocably." His pupils were now solidly surrounded by a yellow ring.

"In my tribe, the sealing of the mating bond has the same significance like marriage. Once you give me permission to mark you, it will be like you were legally married to me. You will be mine, body and soul, heart and spirit, forever."

Jacob pulled back a little. He was in full control now. He wouldn't get carried away with his emotions, wouldn't let his or his wolf's urges control the situation. For once, he and his wolf were a unit. They wanted his words to sink in. They needed her to be clear when she made the decision.

"Oh," Bella finally said, at a loss of words and blinking at him in a daze. Lifting her hand, she rubbed the spot where his mark would sit soon if she agreed to it. He would bite her there while having sex with her? Oh. My. God! And they would be married in the eyes of his tribe? She shivered, looking at him with hooded eyes. Her tongue darted out, licking over her suddenly parched lips.

He chuckled, pleased with the effect he had on her. "I will give you some time to think it all through, Bells. "He tenderly ran his hand through her hair. "Just don't make me wait too long, but as "As long as you'll stay with me, I can try to be patient…"

~~oOo~~

**A/N: We hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter and we are looking forward to your comments. Hugs to all!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Hostage of Love**

**Chapter 22**

**The Chance For Us**

**While reading we invite you to listen to the song All Of Me by John Legend**

_**We kissed beneath the twisted trees,**_

_**our lips between the stars,**_

_**tiny ripples in a lake,**_

_**this love, once lost,**_

_**is ours.**_

_**by Michael Faudet**_

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Here's a huge Thank You to our amazing beta Mist and lovely pre-reader luvinj.** **We also thank you, our faithful readers. We love you all so much. **

**~~oOo~~**

They kissed for a long time, expressing their feelings with tender caresses. Bella was still situated in his lap, straddling his thighs, her arms wrapped around his waist. Both were lost in their own thoughts, while enjoying the feel of each other. Neither one of them could even remember the last time when they had felt this comfortable, this calm and content.

As the wolf purred, Jake kissed her softly on the forehead. "Thank you for putting up with me, Bells. Really, I do feel so relieved that I was finally able to tell you about what I went through and I also needed to hear about that happened to you in return. All I know right now is that I want to fight for us. I need you so badly and this is my last chance for sanity." Jake looked soberly at her then and she knew the same was true for her as well.

Jacob felt freer now that he had shared his darkest secret with the one woman he'd ever truly loved. He had hidden it deep inside of him, never let anyone know how desperately guilty and miserable he felt about missing out on so much of his son's first year of life. He knew he would never get back this lost time, and he was adamant on making it up to Yuma.

Talking about his feelings openly and the guilt that had eaten at him was a right step in the direction he was determined to go, which was a much happier future. Just speaking about it with the girl who was so involved with it all had helped the walls crumble and the pain lessen.

They stayed a long time wrapped up around each other, enjoyed being in each others company. They even laughed together about some of the pack antics Jacob shared with her. She appreciated that behind this tough facade, the anger and the hurt he still had this wonderful sense of humor. She knew he was still guarding his heart, but she also could see signs of the old and carefree Jake shining through.

If she had any say in it and she planned on having plenty of it, she was going to make sure that Jake would have many more happy days. She made a vow to herself right then and there that she would make him happy.

Eventually, Jacob pulled her up and they went for another walk. Holding hands, they followed the shore line, Jacob leading her around any obstacles and Bella following trusting him blindly.

They talked some more. And kissed again. Eventually, it was really dark, nothing but the pale moon and the stars spilling a sparse light across the beach. It had cooled down, but Bella was wrapped in Jacob's arms and didn't feel anything but warmth and comfort.

"Jake," she asked, letting her feet glide through the cooling sand. "I've been thinking about something for a while. I was wondering if you would help me find something decent, I mean place for me to live? I want to move out of Charlie's place and start my own independent life again, but I also really would love to stay on the Rez, so I can be close to you and Yuma, and Leah of course."

Jacob tensed up visibly and narrowed his eyes. After only a few moments of contemplation, he negated her question with a resolute "No!"

"What? Why, Jake?" Her heart started to pound and her hand flew to her chest. "I thought you and I-"

"I won't help you search for a place, Bella..." Jacob said and then paused. He didn't want her to live somewhere else, and his wolf rebelled at the thought of her not living in his den, too. It started to claw at him wanting to be let out and take care of the matter by itself. And now she looked at him, upset, with tears in her eyes, so he quickly said, "Okay, Okay... geeh... Bells! I won't help you, because I already know the perfect solution for you."

Her interest peaked immediately, she was ready to hear him out.

"Okay, here are my thoughts, and I also want you to know that this is actually pretty much the only option. So don't get your feathers all ruffled up now, Bella. I need you to be close to me, and my wolf needs to be close to you," Jacob said with a hopeful look on his face.

"What I mean is, I would like it if you would stay here with me," he added sheepishly, running a nervous hand through his hair. "I know we need to take it slow. If it's alright with you, you can have the room you just stayed in, but you'll live at my place. I mean, will you, Bells?"

She found his demanding, slightly angry yet somewhat sheepish stance he held at the moment was nothing short of sexy. Her heart jumped. She was very excited.

"Really?" Bella smiled at him. "You want me to move in with you? Just like that?" Her smile spreading quickly all over her face, she felt happy, simply happy. "I didn't think you're ready yet. Oh, Jake!" She threw her arms around him and hugged with all the strength she had. "I mean, yes, yes! I will move in with you and yes, we still have to work out a million things, but I'm absolutely positive we can manage living together."

Jacob couldn't stop grinning.

She was short of jumping up and down with joy.

"The best thing about this is that I will be able to spend more time with Yuma as well," she now squeaked with excitement. "Oh...I hope Yuma and Leah won't mind. Do you think that would be ok with them?"

"You're worrying too much, Bells." Jacob smiled and placed a tender kiss onto her lips. "I think you know very well that neither one of them would mind. In fact I am fairly certain that they will absolutely love it. You have gotten very close to Leah, over the last few years, and I actually like it, I have to admit."

Slowly, they walked back to their driftwood tree. Seeing Bella glow with happiness, gave him a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. A feeling he thought he'd would never know. He knew he had to thank Leah and Sam for that. Leah and Sam have been through a lot. Because of their tough-love approach he had pulled out of the darkest times. No question, he had made their lives very difficult and he owed both of them. However, he thought, now it was time for them to get off his ass already.

Jacob winked at Bella mischievously. "You know that Sam and Leah have been harassing me to finally make a move on you?"

Bella laughed. "Sam as well? I thought it was only Leah. She's never been very subtle about it."

"Well, Sam used patrol we ran together to let me know what he thought I should be doing. It was very annoying to say the least," Jacob said. "You moving in with me will finally shut them up, I hope."

They kissed once again, his soft lips gliding over hers in a sensual rhythm, hers answering and following. It was slow and unrushed, sweet and syrupy like honey, all urgency gone.

"No, seriously, Bells. Yuma will be one extremely happy little guy to have you around, and so am I," Jacob said when they broke the kiss and continued walking.

They stopped by their blanket. Jacob cocked his head and looked at her thoughtfully, wondering if she was warm enough because it was cooling down rapidly.

"What do you think, Bells. Stay here or go to my place? I don't want you to be cold."

"I want to stay here for a little longer. I have you to keep me warm." Bella snuggled into him, after leaning up to peck him on his lips.

"Sure, Sure," Jacob said with a smile. His wolf was gloating by the way she was acting around him. Having Bella back in his arms with the prospect of a life together made him confident that all his scars could heal, and he knew that he was ready to help Bella heal her own wounds as well. She had made wrong decisions before, but the price she was paying for everything was just too high. She deserved a break and a real shot at happiness. He was just the man to do it too, he knew.

Their talk had been productive. Now all was spoken out loud and issues addressed and misunderstandings cleared up, for the most part in any case.

Bella knew that there was lots to digest. They had shared so much of their hurts and pains, but also their hopes for the future. She was sure that she would need to think about everything they had discussed today, especially the whole marking significance.

She was stunned at first how important marking her was to Jacob and his wolf, but the more she thought about it, the more she understood the importance and she liked the idea of belonging to Jacob forever. She also found it sexy as hell when he told her how he was going to mark her. More importantly though, she really wanted it. She wanted to carry his mark and everything that came with it. She wanted everyone to know that she belonged to Jake.

"Come here." He sat down, stretching out his long legs, back propped against the rough wood of their driftwood tree. He pulled her down, and she sat in his lap once again. There simply was no better place than to be held close in his arms, surrounded by his heat.

His arms wrapped around her naturally. With a soft sigh, she leaned into him, snuggling herself even closer to make herself as comfortable as possible.

His hold tightened. His desire for her flared up instantly, settling in his groin. He bent down to place a kiss upon her lips.

He traced the outline of her lips with the tip of his tongue, and she opened her mouth to him. His tongue entered her and their kiss got more ardent, fervent and heated.

Bella ran her hand through his hair, scratching his scalp. _Ah, she loved the feel of his thick hair between her fingers._ Hearing Jacob moan in response, she gripped strands of his hair, holding him to her. She wanted him so badly, wanted to show him how much he meant to her. Now that they had talked about everything, there was no reason to wait any longer. She needed to be with him, to reunite, and to finish what they had started earlier.

Jacob growled low and nipped her lip slightly. His hands left their place on her lower back and settled on her hips. He pulled her closer, gently rocking into her. He wanted her. Their make-out session a couple of hours ago had only fueled the need to be with her and to show her who she belonged to, but also to let her know that he belonged to her.

No words were spoken as their touches became more heated and purposeful. Soon, fabric fell aside, whispers and breaths became ragged. Their pace however stayed slow and gentle, their touches soft and tender. Both knew that they were simply hostage to their love.

Jacob slowly ended their kiss, and he briefly leaned his forehead onto hers and then kissed her temples.

"Don't stop, Jake," Bella pleaded. She shrugged out of the blouse that Jake had unbuttoned and reached behind her back to open her bra.

"I don't intend to stop," Jacob promised. His eyes roamed her body when she let her bra fall to the ground.

She looked back at him boldly, feeling beautiful under his praising stare. "Good."

Jacob removed his shirt in a fluid motion. She could make out the outline of his body and a bit more. The sparse moonbeams casting a blue glow over his russet skin and those broad shoulders narrowing down to a slim waist made her heart flutter.

His sculpted chest and abs, those biceps and strong forearms, it was all sharp and angular lines, smooth and lithe musculature. The fact that he had lost so much of his bulk didn't make him look less feral. No, that body of his, those intense eyes-it exuded more danger than ever. He looked everything the fierce warrior he had become. And yet his eyes, his eyes looked at her with so much love and adoration.

Bella put her hands on his chest, feeling his naked skin underneath her fingertips. Satin stretching over hard, taut muscles. Leaning forward, her lips brushed over his skin, covering him in sweet, soft kisses.

She thought her heart might overflow with the love and tenderness she felt for him.

He seemed to feel the same.

"I want to make love with you Bella", he whispered into her ear, making her shiver with agreement and anticipation. "I won't be marking you today either, because I need to give you some time to think about it.

I need you to have a clear mind when you do give me your permission. Right now, I just want to be with you. No thinking, no worries, just us, baby."

Bella simply shook her head yes, caught in his dark eyes and mesmerized by his deep voice.

"I have waited for you to come back to me," he continued, as he lovingly caressed her thighs. He loved her soft skin, and the sweet scent that made his Bells. He will never get used to it, he promised himself. He will always treasure every inch of her body, soul and her mind. He wanted all of it. His heart swelled suddenly and he buried his face into her neck again, he needed to breathe her in.

He enjoyed and relished her scent and after a moment, he started kissing her neck and throat. Then his lips found their way down to the swell of her breasts. His hands came up, cupping them, thumbs brushing over her pepping nipples.

A keening noise escaped her lips and she pushed into his touch. She wanted, no, she needed more of that.

She pushed herself up to her knees, opening the button of her jeans and sliding down the zipper. His hands glided up her legs and he leaned in to place a kiss on her stomach, before pulling her tight jeans down her legs as far as they would go. Then he nudged her to get up, so he could pull those jeans down all the way.

"Wait," she said and reached for the fabric, now wrapped around her ankles. She wobbled and started to giggle, carefree, when she almost fell over.

Jacob steadied her, but used his chance and buried his face between her breasts.

"Now you wait a second." Bella laughed, but finally managed to pull out a foil wrapper. She tossed it at Jacob who caught it easily.

"You brought a condom?" He grinned, helping her to step out of her jeans.

"Just being prepared. I tend to lose my head around you..."

Giving her a roguish look that made her insides melt, he reached into his back pocket and presented her the condom he had brought. "Me too."

He placed the condoms on the blanket and leaned back, resting his back against the wood nonchalantly. "That would make two then," he stated in his deep voice, and the tingling heat in her lower region flared up a notch at the implication that was as much as a promise. He lifted a hand and crooked his fingers in a come-hither motion.

Her breath hitched for a moment and her heart did a flip.

"Come here." He held out his hand. Their passion and need for each other spiked instantaneously, their chemistry becoming one with just a thought.

Bella got down on her knees, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Resting their foreheads together, they looked each other in the eyes. "I missed you so much," he whispered, his lips brushing over hers.

She sighed. She knew this was it. They would reunite in the basest of ways.

His tongue entered her mouth-he would never tire tasting her-and he kissed her deeply. He shifted his weight so his body was slowly pushing her to the ground. She followed his lead, her body molding to his softly and compliant.

Jacob prominently rose above her, still keeping his weight off of her.

His hand slid down, caressing the soft skin of her stomach before covering her mound. The heat of him burned through the thin fabric of her panties, and she groaned. This already felt so good and it was only the beginning.

One of his fingers hooked under the band of her panties and with a quick, sharp tug they were gone.

"Jake, yes please!" She grabbed him at his shoulders when his finger slid through her folds imploringly.

He chuckled. Pleased, and so utterly male. "You ready, Bells?"

With one hand, he unbuttoned his jeans, and gave her a promising idea when he let his tongue glide over his bottom lip as if he was lapping off her juices. He pulled his Jeans down expertly as if he had practiced this move a hundred times, and he was slipping out of them effortlessly.

Her insides clenched. "Yes," she rasped again.

Carelessly, he tossed his clothes aside, kissed her again and gently opened her legs with one knee. Her ripe scent hit him full on and he inhaled deeply, shuddering with pleasure.

Bella took hold of one of the condoms quickly and ripped it open. "Let me do this for you," she murmured. She didn't want to wait any longer. She ached to be one with him, and she really wanted to feel his manhood.

Jacob closed his eyes and gritted his teeth when her hand wrapped around his impressive cock. Her small fingers placed the condom over the tip and gently rolled it all the way down.

While trying to hold it together and not to combust right then and there, he noticed that he felt the very same in this exact moment as his wolf did; pride and possessiveness. She belonged to them and she was simply perfect.

When the condom was finally on, Jacob lined himself up at her entrance. "Look at me, Bells. I want to look into your eyes when I take you," he spoke gently and seductively.

She wrapped one arm around his neck, the other around his forearm, holding onto him. With their eyes locked, he began to slowly push forward inch by delicious inch.

He groaned, sweat breaking out on his forehead. He needed to concentrate not to simply plunge in. She was still very tight, and, oh, she felt so good. It was like he had finally come home.

"Damn, Bells. I need you so much," he said, emotions making his voice gruff.

Overwhelmed by her own feelings, she wasn't able to make a sound. Grabbing onto his shoulders, she tried to adjust to the size of him, opening her legs as far as she could. She had almost forgotten how big he was. Throwing her head back, she opened her legs some more. He slid in deeper. It felt so damn good. She was touched how careful, gentle and loving he was. He made her feel so special.

It's been too long that she felt this needed and treasured. She wanted this moment to last forever.

When he was all the way in, he stopped, savoring this moment. He propped himself onto his elbows, and looked at her with intensity. His hand came down, resting on her hips. "You are all I ever wanted, and I want you to know that I will never be able to let you go again. You are my life", he said intently and with such sincerity it deeply touched her soul.

"I will never leave again," she vowed. "I belong here. I belong with you, Jacob".

He bent his head and his mouth closed around one rosy nipple. He suckled and licked until he had her mewling and scratching his back.

"Jake...awww... Jake. you feel so perfect, you are so beautiful and I want you always." She babbled now, nearly mindless with want. She needed him to move.

He finally started stroking into her.

Neither one was in a hurry. The pace was steady and gentle.

His mouth found her hardened nipples. Slowly he sucked and nipped on each one, enjoying the way her body would press closer to him with every flick of his tongue.

Bella grabbed at his thigh to pull him closer into her. Underneath her fingertips, the smooth expanse of his heated skin was interrupted by jagged edges of a long prominent scar. It pulled her out of her bliss momentarily and she tensed for a second as she remembered the origin of this scar and what Quil had told her about it. Her fingers trailed along the scar, trying to find a beginning and an ending.

His hand closed around her hand, stopping her explorations. "Don't, Bella," he whispered without stopping to move. "Not now. Please. I will tell you about it later. I promise."

"Okay," she responded, letting out a ragged breath. His lips pressed on the tender skin of her neck, his tongue darting out and tasting her. With a moan, she turned her head to the side, giving him better access and let herself get lost in his touches once more.

She quickly forgot about her inquisition as he hit a particular sensitive spot deep within her. Bella arched herself into him in pure pleasure.

"Oh God." She gasped, threw her head back, and felt herself building up.

He changed his position. Getting onto his knees, he lifted her up so she was sitting on top of him. He rocked into her, gentle and slow strokes first, then changed into harder and deeper pushes. All the while, their love making stayed slow and comforting. Tender touches and soft kisses guiding each other towards release. Soft sighs and and whispered promises were spoken with just a flutter of a breath.

His wolf never made an appearance, he stayed quiet and content. He knew that his mate was home now and that his time to mark her will come soon, very soon. This special and loving moment was for the man. He knew that Jacob needed that moment and for once he knew to completely shut up.

They found such bliss and happiness as they both reached their peak. Jacob shuddered as he completely emptied himself. There was a part of him that wanted his seed spilled into her rather than in his condom. He couldn't even distinguish if it was him or was it the wolf, all he knew was that he wanted her to carry his scent from the inside and out.

She relished in the aftermath of her orgasm. She felt sated and happy, she wanted to never be without him again.

Slowly, Jake laid back down, holding her close to his chest. They enjoyed laying there for quite a while, still connected, but eventually Jake rolled off of her and now held her close in his arms.

The moon shone brightly. The sky was clear and full of stars. A rare occasion, and it was perfect for their special moment together.

Bella snuggled closer into him, wrapping one arm around his waist. Her fingers brushed against skin that felt different. It was raised above the surface, rigid and she now realized it also felt slightly cooler than his natural body temperature.

His whole body tensed. She looked up at him, trying to see his eyes through the dark, but he was staring into the night, not meeting her gaze.

"Quil told me what happened," she said. She let her fingertips trail along the scar softly, gliding from his back to his hip and down the side of his thigh.

When she stopped moving her fingers, Jacob let out a breath he had been holding. "I don't like to be touched there very much. It feels really weird," he said in a hard tone.

"Are you self-conscious about that scar, Jake?" she asked not able to stop her professional interest to filter in. She had seen a lot of scars since she had started working as a physiotherapist. She knew what scars could do to a person's body and confidence. "There's no need to be. It's a battle scar... You can be proud of it."

A sarcastic snort came from his throat. Jacob sat up, effectively breaking their physical contact. "I've been stupid and careless. It shouldn't have happened in the first place." He kept clenching and un-clenching his hands as he tried to get a hold of his emotions.

"You should talk about it with someone. It's not healthy to keep it all bottled up inside," she suggested worriedly.

"Leah already tried to talk me into seeing some about this." He got up, pacing back and forth in front of her not minding his nudity. "I'm through with it. Really! It's in the past..." He forced out a frustrated breath, trying to find the words that would describe how he felt.

Bella sat up, hugging her knees close to her body. She started shivering from the cold night air. She wanted him close to her again, but she knew that he needed to move around. It was his way of working through this issue he had with his scar.

Sending her a sheepish glance, he admitted, "OK, I might be self-conscious about it... It looks hideous and it feels strange when I touch it..."

"I love you for who you are. I don't care about how it looks."

"I know that, Bells." Jacob's voice softened at her words. "I just… It reminds me of how fucked up I was. It reminds me of all the things I should have done and didn't do, of what people expected me to be, and I wasn't."

Seeing her trembling with cold, Jacob sat down beside her and pulled her into his body. She snuggled into his heat.

It took him a long time to admit, "My pack expected me to be their Alpha. A pack of wolves needs an Alpha that shows no weakness, that leads them with a firm hand and gives direction. I've been none of that. There has never been so much recklessness and injuries suffered from leeches than during that time..."

"You know what my counselor told me when I talked to her about basically the same issues... She said of course people define you because of the things you did and said. Also, whether or not you met their expectations is a factor... People who care about you will always give you another chance. You can prove yourself to them with what you do in the present. They will forgive you, and they will learn to trust you again..."

Jacob titled his head to look her in the eyes. He smirked. "Very wise words, Bella. I guess that sorta worked out for you with me, huh?"

She smiled softly and kissed him warmly. "That's exactly right, Jake, and you know that they love you, Jake," she said. "You've learned from your mistakes and they know that."

~~oOo~~

"So when do we get your stuff?" he asked softly, effectively changing the subject. "I want you to stay with me right away."

"How about tomorrow?" she answered with a glint in her eyes.

Jake caught it and kissed her cheek sweetly. "Yes, Ms Swan, right away tomorrow," he teased her. "We will go talk to Charlie and after that we will pick up Yuma. I promised Sam I would. He wanted to take Leah out for a movie and dinner, so Yuma will be able to stay the night with us."

He sheepishly looked at her. "Would that be ok with you?"

Bella tried to jump up she was so elated of the prospect to see her little buddy again, but Jacob held her close to him.

"Why did you not say so right away, Jake?" She brushed a stray strand of hair out of his face with tender fingertips. "Of course this will be fine. I would love to have him with us." Her mind started reeling, instantly starting to plan out the next day. "I have to go to the market first thing in the morning to get groceries. I want to make a special dinner for Yuma, and you can join us." She grinned, unable to conceal her excitement.

He smirked at her. "If you don't mind lying still," he requested softly. "Just give me a few more minutes holding you." He pushed his face in the nape of her neck, breathing her in.

He was at peace, finally.

"Sure, Jake…" she whispered, encircling his chest with her arms. Her ear ended up right over his heart. She listened to the comforting, steady rhythm and knew she finally was at home.

**~~oOo~~**

**A/N: We hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, leave some love please!**


	24. Chapter 24 - Into Us

**Hostage of Love**

**Chapter 23**

**Into Us**

Recommended chapter listening: Fall Into Me

by: Brantly Gilbert

"No matter what has happened.

No matter what you've done. No matter what you will do.

I will always love you. I swear it."

by: C.J. Redwine

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**A/N: Thank you LuvinJ for pre-reading and your great input as always, as well as our beta Mist for catching all of our silly mistakes:-) Hugs girls!**

~~oOo~~

_He smirked at her. "If you don't mind lying still," he requested softly. "Just give me a few more minutes holding you." He pushed his face in the nape of her neck, breathing her in._

_He was at peace, finally._

_"__Sure, Jake…" she whispered, encircling his chest with her arms. Her ear ended up right over his heart. She listened to the comforting, steady rhythm and knew she finally was at home._

~~oOo~~

They took another twenty minutes of enjoying each other just laying in each others arms but eventually they reluctantly got up, and started collecting all their clothes, which they had tossed all over the place and headed back to Jake's place.

Once they had arrived at Jake's they were in no rush at all to do anything else but spend some good quality time with each other. After some more lovemaking hours, they finally showered and ate food which they had cooked together. They tremendously enjoyed each others company, and the conversation. Jokes came easy and the mood was light. The air hummed with contentment.

It had been a long time for them both since they had felt this comfortable with each other and themselves. Both of their spirits were extremely high. The wolf was still calm and quiet.

By mid morning they finally took off in Jake's truck, heading into Forks. They drove by Charlie's house and noticed that Charlie's cruiser was parked outside. Sue's car was gone. She probably would be at the hospital.

"Charlie's home. That's good. We can tell him right away." Bella looked up at Jacob with a big smile. Just looking at him gave her this delicious, addicting butterfly feeling in her stomach. She was so thrilled at the prospect of moving in with him. "He will appreciate that we will let him know instantly. Even if he doesn't like having to let me go already that quickly again."

Jacob wrapped his arm around Bella and sweetly kissed her on the crown of her hair. "You'll be living just a couple of minutes away, and he comes out to the Rez at least twice a week anyway." Tenderly, he ghosted a finger over her lips. "We can invite him over for dinner whenever you want, honey." As soon as he had spoken it out loud, he recognized how much he actually was looking forward to family dinners with their dads.

He really liked that thought and couldn't help but dream of the family he had wanted to make with her years before. He was determined to not let this get him down anymore. The past was the past and it should remain there. He only wanted to look forward to their futures. Anything else could be dealt with in time.

Today was a new beginning of their future and he felt so fortunate that things had turned out this great already. He now looked forward to planning out their lives together and he did not intend to wait a very long time... enough time had been wasted as it was.

He wanted a big family, at least 2-3 more children alongside Yuma and not waste precious time anymore. We should get started right away, he dreamt on, instantly laughing at himself, but it felt damn good to make plans. It felt awesome to know that there was going to be a future with the woman of his dreams.

"Jake, are you dreaming?" he heard her call out. "We are here and I've been watching you stare into nothing for about 5 whole minutes." She laughed at him.

"I promise, Charlie won't shoot you," she continued on.

He grabbed her and simply kissed her until she was breathless. "Okay, you're probably right. Let's go in, and you better get that look off your face, honey. You can have much more of where this came from later." He winked at her.

"The nerve," she said smiling before jumping out of the truck and racing him to the door. Breathless, she fumbled in her purse for the key, when Jacob slowly caught up to her and leaned down to her ear. "So you want to run do you…."

Before Bella could respond, the door was yanked open and one irritated Charlie stared at them. "What is going on here, Bells? And why the hell is he here?

He knew that Bella had tried all along to get together with Jake and it didn't mean he had to like it though.

This will be fun, Jacob thought sarcastically, but was fast smiling at Charlie. "Charlie, Bella and I have something to discuss with you." Jacob took Bella's arm and simply pushed forward into the kitchen. "You don't mind if we talk in here do you?".

"Now you just wait a minute here," Charlie's face reddened. He was clearly upset.

"Dad," Bella pleaded, "Really, Jake and I have to talk with you and I promise it is nothing bad, Please, give us a chance to explain. Let me make some coffee," she said, determined to stay positive and not allowing Charlie to ruin this moment. She felt strong and confident. She knew exactly what she wanted.

"Okay, Bells, but if it is what I think this is... he... is going to listen to me first!" Charlie pointed his finger at Jacob. "Boy, you have been nothing but trouble for a very long time, and if you think you can involve my Bells in your shenanigans you are very…"

"Wow.. hold on, Charlie," Jacob interrupted, holding up his hands. "I can assure you that…"

"I'm moving in with Jake, Dad," Bella announced while adding a pile of ham onto the sandwiches she decided to make to keep her mind clear and food always calmed Charlie down, while giving Charlie a no nonsense kind of look.

Silence….

A vein puckered frantically on Charlie's temple, the telltale sign of his ever growing anger.

"Bella, don't you think you should think about this a little better?" Charlie rambled off. "I mean... look, you two don't have the best history and you, Jake, you better start explaining to me what is going on here." Charlie finally said.

A few years earlier he would have been ecstatic if Bella had decided to be with Jacob instead of this Edwardo kid. Now though, he had seen a different side of the boy he had helped Billy raise after Sarah died. He didn't mind the fact that Jacob had a son. He and Leah had sorted their stuff out and Bella seemed quite in love with the little tyke.

What bothered him to no end was that he had been called in to resolve bar fights instigated by Jacob. He had seen a heavily violent side of him too many times. He had seen him drunk off his ass even more.

He didn't want an alcoholic with a volatile temper to be his daughter's boyfriend.

Even given that Jake had changed a lot over the course of the last couple of months and got his shit together, could he be sure that Jake would stay sober and treat his daughter right?

"Dad, sit down," Bella ordered, placing the sandwiches on the kitchen table. "Jake, you too! I want us to eat, then we can discuss your concerns, dad. I won't discuss moving in with Jake, though. That's a done deal."

Charlie harrumphed. There wasn't much he could do, now could he? His daughter was a legal adult. Bound to make her own mistakes. "Fine," he grunted, but looked at Jacob pointedly. "If you ever hurt her I will shoot your ass and keep on firing as long as it takes to actually keep you down."

Jacob tipped his head in understanding. He couldn't blame the guy, and frankly did not expect anything less of Charlie. He knew that Charlie had every right to be concerned.

After dating Sue for a while, Charlie had been told about the shape-shifting abilities of the pack. He had long felt that there were some strange occurrences going on on the Rez. Learning that Sue's children and their friends could turn into giant wolves was a big enough shocker.

Realizing that his daughter had been married to a fucking vampire and it had been kept a secret from him, he went ballistic. It had taken lots of time and patience on Billy Black's part to mend their friendship, and Charlie still was suspicious especially with Jacob Black's motives concerning his daughter.

He did care for the boy though, always had. In fact he had always loved him as a son! It had put a strain on him, seeing Jacob deteriorate. This reality was the only reason he had been willing to listen to Sue to begin with and eventually accepted that those legends Billy Black spoke of ever since he could remember were true.

He could live with that now, and he had for a long time. Seth had on more than one occasion 'demonstrated' his wolf to him and Charlie had to admit, he had always been impressed. He knew the wolf was no danger to him or any other folks.

The ate in silence, and Bella left them alone for now, not saying anything. She just kept watching them, noticing that both were deeply into their own thoughts.

She knew that it took alot out of her dad in the past, watching Jacob decline and slipping deeper and deeper until he was at his lowest. It also meant a lot to her that Charlie was willing, even if she kind of had to force him a little, to sit with Jacob right now, sharing a meal.

"Why don't you go upstairs and start packing your things, Bells?" Jacob suggested after they were done eating. He took the empty plates and carried them to the sink, feeling Charlie's staring right into his back.

"Yeah Bells, why don't you go upstairs for a little while?" Charlie agreed and got up to help with the rest of the dishes.

Wise enough not to argue, Bella simply nodded and left the kitchen, already cataloging the things she wanted to take with her. Of course, she was curious and wanted to know about their talk, but she felt the two of them needed do that by themselves.

Confident about a good outcome of this talk, she went to her room and closed the door firmly behind her. She'd trusted both of her men.

~~oOo~~

As soon as Jacob had heard Bella going upstairs, he turned around, facing Charlie and meeting his eyes.

"Charlie," Jacob began, "you have every right to mistrust me right now, but I promise you that I am done and over with it, ALL of it."

"Look, here is the truth of it all." Jake paused and Charlie could clearly see the pain in Jake's expression. "I did not know... how... how to live without her. Don't you know that?" His eyes heatedly looking into Charlie's, Jacob raked his hands through his hair as the only sign that he was in fact very nervous.

"Does this have anything to do with this, this... dog... wolf... thing?" Charlie waved his arms around wildly.

"No." Jacob said with conviction. "I loved this girl ever since I can remember, Charlie. You know that! This is me, Jacob Black," he continued, "Who loves her first and foremost. I make my own choices, Charlie. It's not the wolf's decision."

Charlie knew Jacob was right. When he thought back, he knew that Jacob had always loved his daughter, ever since they were children. Yes, he could see the truth in his eyes, too.

For the first time in... years... Jacob's eyes had stopped looking like pools of desperation, hopelessness and indifference. While there were still dark circles under his eyes and frown lines marking his forehead, he radiated positive energy and a new will to live and it clearly showed that he was looking forward to a new and exciting future..

However, how long would Jacob stick with it? What would it take to make him relapse? Charlie had seen it all. The dry drunks, broken promises, kids suffering from constantly fighting parents, wives trying to help and failing. It clearly wasn't what he wished for his daughter. He wanted her to be safe and happy.

Charlie narrowed his eyes again, getting ready with a come-back when Jake stopped him by looking very seriously at him.

"Charlie," he said quietly, looking completely sincere and pleadingly into Charlie's eyes. "Please, give me a chance. I will never disappoint you again. I am so sorry for all the things I put you and everyone else through."

"I want to make Bella happy! I finally got her Charlie," he continued, placing one hand on Charlie's shoulder.

"I am me again, mostly anyway," Jake said while taking his hand off Charlie. "I am building a new life and I will do anything for her and this time, this time it will be ok, I promise you. I want to be part of your life again too, Charlie. And I will be the dad Yuma deserves."

"Those are big words, Jacob," Charlie stated. "How do I know that you'll pull through with it? I'm not sure I can trust you right away again." He paused and quietly studied Jacob. Being the chief of police for almost 15 years, he was good at his job. He was good at reading people's body language. He was observant, knew when things were left unsaid, and he could tell if a man was lying. He could also tell when the truth was staring into his face, and Jacob was nothing but serious and honest.

He stood before him with his shoulders squared and his head held high. He did see the sincerity of his words and in Jacob's eyes.

Charlie. I fucked up, but I'll be damned if I destroy this chance at happiness," Jacob answered heatedly.

Charlie kept studying him in his scary silent way, and fuck if didn't make him nervous and riled up his wolf. So Jacob concentrated on Bella who he could easily hear move around in her room. His wolf made a agreeing noise, a smile formed on Jacob's lips. She was going to move in with him.

"Charlie..." Jacob paused. "Hey, that doesn't mean the wolf is not pleased like hell." Jacob continued, winking and smiling at him now. He needed to break the tension as he felt himself become restless. He had pleaded his case, but the Alpha in him demanded a stop to the groveling.

"My wolf has always liked Bella. Part of what made me so unsettled after she left was that I constantly had to fight my wolf to not go after her and drag her back by the scruff of her neck."

Charlie laughed, only half amused at this revelation and about the image that formed in his head. "Why didn't you let this wolf of yours simply do it? Would have saved all of us a lot of trouble," he finally muttered, to Jacob's surprise. His wolf grinning at this thought.

Jacob tipped his head and narrowed his eyes. "'Cuz I would have killed Cullen and hat would have hurt Bella back then. Apart from that there was the fucking treaty."

"Fuck the treaty!" Charlie cursed heatedly. "He is a damn vampire and he planned on turning my little girl."

If you only knew the entire truth, Jacob thought. If Charlie ever learnt about the emotional abuse Cullen had put Bella through, he was sure Charlie would try to kill Cullen all by himself.

"Could you cancel the treaty? Declare it void?" Charlie inquired, the wheels turning in his head. Maybe he could get some answers to questions he had wanted to ask for years. "I never understood why your grandfather agreed to a treaty with those... those bloodsuckers... Isn't that what you call them?"

Jacob inhaled deeply and then let out a deep long breath. He knew his eyes were changing color. The sharp tang of Charlie's sudden assertiveness and curiosity as well as a slight notion of aggressiveness ramped up his wolf some.

Through slightly clenched teeth he said, "Charlie, we call them bloodsuckers, leeches, ticks… whatever seems suited." He smiled despite of himself. He had quite some more choice words for them. Not that it really mattered right now.

"I won't cancel the treaty, Charlie." He rocked on his heels and started pacing the room. Motion made it easier to think. "We will adjust it though. It won't include Edward Cullen any longer."

Jacob had thought about the necessity of holding on to the treaty this morning, when Bella had fallen asleep in his arms. While he could happily live without all those damn leeches, with the possibility of the Volturi coming for Bella, it simply didn't seem wise to terminate the treaty.

"We might need them one day. While I never will rely on them, they might prove useful to a certain extent," Jacob explained.

Charlie huffed. He wasn't happy with Jacob's reasoning, but having a good look at Jacob's eyes and those slightly vibrating muscles, he understood he better stopped asking right now. Still, he felt that Jacob was keeping something from him, and that brought up another question.

"Two years ago..." Charlie said, quickly crossing the space between them and coming to a stop right in front of Jacob, completely unaware that he just invaded the space of a dominant Alpha Wolf.

The wolf bristled at the unwelcome closeness from this human man. Jacob tilted his head, studying the man before him. Charlie seemed just the same trusting nature, like his daughter Bella.

When he had been at his lowest his own pack had stopped trusting him not to phase on the fly, but things had started to turn around again. He sure was glad to know that he has been gaining back some of the trust of his pack. He would work hard not to disappoint any of them any longer and to keep it this time. He really had messed it up big time for them and now looking upon Charlie, for him as well.

They used to have a great relationship, went fishing with him and his dad, ate greasy pizza and fish-fry. He wanted that back, he wanted everything back and more.

While he thought about everything, Jacob also realized that he obviously was quite upset talking about the Cullens earlier, and now felt downright furious about Edward, but he was nowhere close to losing his cool as he would have only months ago.

He wondered if him feeling a lot calmer would have anything to do with Bella finally being home and wanting him. Did it calm the wolf so he didn't feel the need to free himself from the tight reign Jacob constantly had on him? He strongly assumed just that.

Charlie brought him back from his thoughts, when he coughed mildly.

Jacob noticed the frown lines marring his face, when Charlie started to talk again. "Where have you been boy, you looked like you were day dreaming here, and I really need to know, well... here is the thing,...Two years ago, Bella stayed away overnight and returned in the morning devastated. She wouldn't tell me anything. She was crying so hard. What happened, Jacob?"

The memory of that morning still haunted Charlie, and he wanted some answers finally.

"We spent the night together, Charlie. We wanted to talk, but instead we got carried away," Jacob answered truthfully, ignoring Charlie wince uncomfortably. "When Leah showed up in the morning, Bella assumed I had cheated with her on Leah. She thought Leah and I were a couple and that we raised Yuma together. She ran off without giving me the chance to explain myself."

"You let her go," Charlie stated. "Why?"

For a moment, Jacob was perplexed and didn't know what to say. He had asked himself the same question time and time again. Would it have made a difference had he gone after her? Would she have listened? "It was all very emotional, Charlie. I don't want to go into detail... We were both very upset... words had been spoken... she knew what she had to say to hurt me the most... so did I..." Jacob's voice was gruff. It was hard to confess his failures in front of his mate's father.

"I was too wrapped up in my own shit, too busy licking my wounds, and with our history... at some point, I simply refused to beg Bella even more than I already had."

Charlie stayed quiet for a long moment. He understood. Eventually, he nodded and too wrapped up in his own emotions, he asked Jake if he wanted a beer. He did not care for delicate subject conversations all too much anyway and Jake gave him a better understanding of what had happened back then.

Instead of coming back with a snide remark, which would have been his way to deal with anything thrown his way a few weeks ago, Jacob simply grabbed a Coke out of the fridge and unceremoniously plopped down on the couch. "You can have your beer. I really don't mind."

Charlie settled next to him nursed his beer just looking at Jake for a while. "Sucks not being allowed to drink, huh?" he finally asked.

Jacob shook his head and smirked. "Not having Bella in my life sucks. The rest doesn't bother me very much any more, I can do without the alcohol now."

"True."

They sat in silence after that. Jacob listened in to Bella packing her stuff, and he would have liked to go upstairs and help her so she would be finished faster. However, he had the feeling Charlie still wasn't done with his interrogation.

Jacob finally decided to simply ask. "What are you still curious about, Charlie? You know, I'll do my best to answer anything you want to know." Jacob calmingly met Charlie's eyes and noted a spark in them.

"I don't want you to tell me..., I want you to show me…

"I want to see this...other part of you...your animal, I mean..." Charlie coughed and continued, even when he felt completely embarrassed now, especially since Jacob's eyebrows wiggled up and down and a huge smile displayed around his mouth.

"Damn it boy, I want to see this... wolf of yours," Charlie blurted out. Sweat-beads formed on his fore-head but his facial expression looked very determined at Jake nevertheless. "I've seen Seth, yes, but I have a feeling this... your's... is going to be much different. I want to see you with my own eyes. No more lies and no more secrets. So, what do you say?"

Jacob felt pride swell his chest. Jake knew he could have asked any of the others as well, Seth for example would have been easiest to get info from, but he had held out for him, wanting him to show what Billy and the others must have told him about the Quileute Alpha.

Charlie's face was serious, and he knew that it took a lot out of him to ask Jake. He was going to be careful in fulfilling Charlie's request.

"Umm, sure, Charlie, if this is what you really want I am up to it. Let me know when and where".

"How about right now, Jake? And I was also wondering if... if, okay... Has my daughter ever seen eh...the animal side... shit… I mean...the other side of you… I mean… You know what I mean anyway!" Charlie grunted impatient with himself now. This was really taking its toll on his modest soul.

Now Jacob could not help himself any longer than to make light of it. He was no longer hiding his amusement. With a proud, wide smile he said, "Bella knows every single part of me, every nook and cranny. What do you think about that, Charlie?" Jake burst out laughing.

Charlie's face reddened slightly once again. "Now, Jake, I don't need to know all these details. I just want to see your wolf already, and you better keep any other thoughts about my daughter to yourself."

Jacob chortled with amusement at Charlie's expanse. "Okay, let's go out back and I'll show you," he finally suggested. Now he really had the feeling that everything would be all good. At least they were on the right path at the moment.

Charlie followed Jacob out in his backyard and into the woods, so they had some privacy.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going without me?" they heard Bella's voice call out from her window. "I'll come down. Wait for me!" The window slammed shut, then Jacob heard her race down the stairs.

"What's going on?" Bella whispered into Jake's ear once she was standing beside them.

"Your dad wants me to phase for him," Jacob explained and pulled off his shirt as soon as they were hidden enough.

"Ah, I see." The idea excited her. She thought her dad had a right to finally know and see everything. Bella walked over to her dad and gently put an arm around him. She wanted to be with her dad when he'd see Jake's wolf for the first time. She also could clearly see the excitement reflecting on Charlie's face. It made her very happy.

"Dad, thank you for giving Jake a chance, for giving us a chance. This means so much to me that you want to get to knowall of Jake." Bella squeezed Charlie's arm reassuringly. "This has been a long time coming, Dad".

"I'm still pissed at Billy that he hid this from me for so long, but I understand his reasons," Charlie muttered while moving slightly in front of his daughter, when he suddenly noticed a completely nude Jacob.

"Tell me when you're ready, Charlie," Jacob said, effectively interrupting any outbursts Charlie might come up with seeing him stand there in the nude.

Charlie nodded, never letting his eye of Jacob, and finally called out, "Damn, Jake! Yes, I'm ready because God knows how long are you planning on standing there, butt-ass naked right here in front of my daughter!"

He blushed slightly at Bella's laughter but grabbed onto Bella's hand, squeezing it, while his heart was racing a mile per minute. At the same time he tried to block her view.

"Alright, alright…" Jacob laughed again, completely comfortable in his his own skin. He winked at Bella. "Here comes the big bad…." He fell forward and with a ripping sound, a huge russet wolf took the place of the man.

"Fuck!" Charlie exclaimed. "This is awesome! Holy shit, you are huge, boy!" Charlie grinned like a loon, totally amazed and intrigued by this creature standing before him. He studied its beautiful shiny russet color fur, it's muscular body and the sheer size of it. He was much bigger than Seth, no kidding.

Slowly, the wolf prowled closer. It circled Charlie and Bella, relishing in the pure astonishment and wonder in his mate's father.

Bella stepped away from her father. Her heart nearly jumping out of her chest, with tears of affection in her eyes, she stopped in front of her wolf. "Oh, Jake…" she breathed, putting her hand on his muzzle and then burying it in the wolf's soft fur close to his neck. "I missed your wolf so much."

With a low lupine purr, the wolf settled down and Bella sank down with him, pressing her whole body into him. She shook with sobs stemming from both happiness and emotion. The wolf licked her face, lapping up her tears and lifted a huge front paw ever so gently to nudge her and pull her closer.

Not wanting to disturb this private moment between the wolf and his daughter, Charlie slowly retreated into the house. He choked up a little, seeing several suitcases and a book box standing at the top of the stairs, waiting to be carried out.

Sitting down on his couch, he went back to drinking his beer. He had a lot to think about, but he started to believe what his own eyes had seen. Love and devotion. He was convinced that Jacob knew what was expected of him and definitely was aware that the stakes could not be higher. He loved his daughter and he wouldn't do anything to jeopardize their relationship, this he was pretty sure. He still worried, he would always worry about his girl.

~~oOo~~

The bags were stacked in the back of Jacob's truck. He'd carried it down all in one go, he was so insanely strong, while Charlie brought her book box. Then they had left with the promise to all meet for dinner on Saturday. Bella was still amazed how well Charlie had accepted Jacob's wolf, in fact he was very impressed. Jacob had truly enjoyed Charlie's admiration and they had had another semi-serious conversation.

All in all, it was a great new beginning and Charlie had at least agreed to be patient. He had said he will watch Jake like a hawk, but welcomed the old Jake once more.

Less than an hour later, Jake and Bella were on their way to the market in Forks getting groceries for their weekend with Yuma and dinner with their dads.

"Okay, I need all the fixings for breakfasts, lunches and dinners for this weekend. Let's see what I can come up with." Bella excitingly bounced through every aisle, and loading up the shopping cart. Jacob was both amused and a little worried about the mountain of groceries Bella was putting into the shopping cart.

She also stopped at the little craft aisle to pick up some coloring books and crayons for Yuma.

When they were done shopping, they drove out to La Push, holding hands throughout the ride. Together, they unloaded his truck and carried all the groceries and her stuff inside. Well, Jacob did most of the carrying, she brought in Yuma's nappies and her toiletries bag.

Soon after both of them had put away the food, Jacob was putting her suitcases in his bedroom. He stood there for a while longer, dreaming of a lifetime with her.

~~oOo~~

Bella started her preparation for a nice Spaghetti and Meatball dinner, which she knew Yuma loved, and Jacob went to pick Yuma up from Leah's and Sam's place.

Dreamily, she was stirring the tomato sauce, she couldn't wait for her new life to start. She felt happy and content.

She'd already sent in her job applications for the Forks General hospital as well as the La Push Health center last week, she mused on. Come Monday she wanted to give them a call and inquire the status of her job applications. She was confident that she would find a job at one of these two places.

Then the front door opened and in stormed Yuma, flinging himself into her outstretched arms. She scooped him up and twirled him around. She placed kissed all over his face and complimented him how much he had grown. When she finally looked up, Jacob was watching them with a proud grin.

"Hey," he said and slowly walked closer. He wrapped his arms around them both, hugging them tightly until Yuma complained.

She finally was where she always wanted to be. In Jacob's arms, in his home.

After another while swooning over Yuma and showing him his new coloring book, and a promise to play with him after dinner, she had left Jake to entertain him, while she finished dinner up.

The chatter during dinner was non-stop, a lightness and sheer joy surrounding them all.

This was exactly right!

~~oOo~~

**A/N: Jake and Bells had to endure a whole lot, hearts were broken and re-broken often enough, so they need to make amends not only with each other but all the important people in their lives as well , in order to achieve a complete healing of their hearts and souls.**

**We hope that you enjoyed reading this chapter guys... As always, thank you for your thoughts...**

**Hugs, EyJ &amp; JB**


	25. Chapter 25 - Down Wolf

**Hostage of Love**

**Chapter 24**

**Down Wolf**

**Our listening suggestion for this chapter: "You and Me" - roseave**

**Thank you so much for luvinJ and ****Mist**** for being our wonderful pre-reader and lovely beta once again. Without you this chapter would be drowning in errors. **

**Now, without any more talking, here's our latest installment. Reviews are welcome :-)**

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**~~oOo~~**

_She finally was where she always wanted to be. In Jacob's arms, in his home._

_She couldn't be happier._

_After another while swooning over Yuma and showing him his new coloring book, and a promise to play with him after dinner, she had left Jake to entertain him, while she finished dinner up._

_The chatter during dinner was non-stop, a lightness and sheer joy surrounding them all._

_This was exactly right!_

The three of them had spend a wonderful time with each other. Both Bella and Jake had camped out on the floor either in Yuma's room, or in the Family Room, always surrounded by pillows and throw blankets and lots of toys. They had colored, played cars and train, a game of memory and read books to him. It had felt so good.

Jacob had admired Bella's patience and endurance with his little guy. He knew Yuma could be quite exhausting as he constantly demanded attention. From where he was standing, Bella gave it to him happily. She never faltered, to the contrary, she had constantly enticed Yuma with a new game, but also recognized when Yuma had had enough. She had engaged both of them in all sorts of other activities in fact, like helping to clean the table off and putting dishes into the dishwasher. They had baked cookies and a huge chocolate cake together. Jake was totally amazed by her.

She would be a perfect mother to Yuma, alongside Leah of course, but also to their future children, he was sure. Her sense of family was strong and the bright shine in her eyes spoke volumes.

"OK, time for bed," he announced after spotting Yuma yawning for the umpteeth time. "We will just wash up and take a nice long bath in the morning. Come here, champ." Jake picked him up and swung him onto his shoulders heading for the bathroom.

"You, young lady, you can get ready for bed too if you wish." He winked at her right before closing Yuma's bathroom door, but she caught his smiling face still. With butterflies in her stomach, she hurried into the master bath and closed the door.

Looking herself in the mirror, she saw her flushed red cheeks, her bright eyes and this huge smile on her face. She studied herself for a moment, completely fascinated. She'd looked pretty she thought, kind of beautiful in fact.

She took a little time for herself and took a nice shower, shaved her legs and enjoyed wrapping herself in the plush huge cotton towel. After she applied plenty of lotion, she opted for one of Jake's huge t-shirts, which she spotted on his dresser earlier. She preferred it over her own pyjamas.

She brushed her hair and listened to the house. It was very quiet. She was sure Yuma had already fallen asleep.

Just thinking of Jake laying in his big bed, waiting for her made her feel very warm and tingly in her stomach.

Thinking of him made her feel good. His body would never cease to amaze her. She loved every square inch of him.

Remembering last night got her excited for him all over again. The way he had kissed her, the feel of his body under her hand and finally moving within her... Staring at her reflection in the mirror, she looked flushed.

Her hand moved to the spot on her neck where one of his love bites had left a mark. Her skin tingled with anticipation under her fingertips. Slowly, she let her fingers skim down to her collarbone and the swell of her breast. Her nipples tightened, awaiting to be touched. Her lower stomach felt tight with lust. Her insides clenched.

God, she wanted him right now. Moisture started to trickle down her inner thighs, a moan escaped her lips.

She just hoped that Yuma was asleep in his own bed, so they could make use of Jacob's giant bed...

She had barely opened the door, when Jake was about to bust in himself.

"Fuck, Bells! I can smell you, and you are driving me crazy!" he spoke quietly into her ear, while picking her up and carrying her to his bed. "You smell so good, baby, let me see all of you." He took his huge shirt off of her and laid her on his pillow, admiring her soft curves.

"I love you Bella, let me show you how much…"

**~~oOo~~**

They had made love throughout the night and although he should be tired, Jacob woke up early, refreshed but also restless.

Bella lay on top of him, one hand gently moving through the hair in the nape of his neck in her sleep.

His arms were wrapped around her, and he tightened the embrace. She felt so perfect. Right where she belonged.

He had kept it sweet last night like the night before. Relishing in the soft sounds of pleasure she made and the way her body moved under him, he had to keep his wolf on a tight leash at the same time.

His hands now moved down her back and possessively cupped her ass, squeezing it slightly. Desire ricocheted up his spine. Damn, he wanted to pound into her from behind holding on to those delicious globes.

His wolf was getting impatient, but so was he. The need to claim and mark her grew stronger each time they had sex. And it had only been two nights since they agreed on being together. How much longer would he be able to hold back?

However, until now neither the time nor the place had been exactly right. When he would be marking Bella it would be at a time where they would be on their own, no Yuma or anyone else should be anywhere near them. The wolf would not tolerate any kind of potential distractions. Neither would he.

It would be best if he brought her somewhere secluded, and he knew just the perfect location already.

His hips rolled up, pressing his morning wood into her thigh. He groaned at the sensation. _Felt so damned good._

Her breathing pattern changed and with a slow blink her eyes opened. "Hey," she murmured sleepily, looking up at him with hooded eyes and gave him a sweet smile. "What time is?"

"Too early," he said with the full intention of letting her go back to sleep, but his restraint was slipping fast when she lazily stretched on top of him.

Hissing through his teeth, he tried to ignore the sensation of her naked skin sliding over his.

"Are you okay, Jake?" she asked with a teasing full body wiggle. "You seem kinda tense."

He groaned again and grabbed her hips to stop her from moving.

She giggled, carefree and surely pleased how strongly he was affected by her.

He pulled her up a little so her could reach her ear and whispered, "My wolf is going to have his turn real soon, honey."

Her eyes widened. She shivered with excitement, remembering what Jacob had announced how the marking would go. She expected to be in for a whole lot of pleasure.

"You just have to ask, Bella," Jacob said quietly, his hands gently kneading the muscles on her lower back. "I will only do it when you agree to it."

The wolf picked up on her growing excitement right away. Jacob felt his wolf wanting to break free from his reign and instantly forced him back. It was harder and harder to do, given how that their mate seemed willing and excited. _Not yet, not quite yet... you will wait until the time is better. Not when Yuma is in the house, so fuck off right now…_

Leaning into him, Bella hummed contently. "Soon, Jake…" she murmured before kissing him tenderly. She really wanted to carry Jacob's mark, knowing that this would bind them together forever. There was no doubt in her mind that they belonged to one another and she wanted to be his all the way. It couldn't be soon enough. They had wasted so much time already. "I want you to mark me and real soon…"

His wolf pushed forward so fast, he slipped through Jacob's tight hold.

Strong enough to push his warrior's boundaries to the limit, the wolf didn't need to phase to make himself heard. Flipping them over, he hovered above his mate.

"Soon!" the wolf growled, his intense yellow-ringed eyes skimming over Bella's body. She looked well loved with her hair wildly tousled and the skin on her smooth throat and shoulders bearing some delicious red marks, which drove him wild for her.

Her heart was racing, but he didn't smell any fear on her. He pushed his face into her neck and sniffed her. Her scent was the best thing he had ever smelt. He growled again."Mine!"

"Yours!" She agreed without apprehension, and lifted her head, offering her lips for a kiss.

The wolf took it, capturing her lips roughly. She was perfect.

Before things could get even more heated, the sound of his pup's voice reached the wolf's ears. With a quick nip on Bella's neck, he retreated, handing control back to Jacob.

Jacob shook his head, getting rid of the slight vertigo feeling the quick change left behind. Stunned, they looked at each other.

"What just happened?" Bella asked bewildered.

Now Jacob heard his son as he seemed to entertain himself in his bed. He heard him speaking softly to himself, which always brought such joy to his heart.

"Later, honey," he said, pulling the sheets up to cover her body. "We have to talk about this but not now. Yuma's awake."

He sat up and grabbed his jeans he'd carelessly flung to the floor last night. "Do you want to sleep for a bit longer?" he offered, but she shook her head.

Resting her head on her elbow, she was studying him with rapt attention. He turned towards her with a cocky smirk. "Like what you see?"

"Very," she said.

**~~oOo~~**

Jacob waited for Bella to get the chocolate cake, several of the cookies she knew Billy loved and some fresh baked crunchy rolls all packed up for their planned trip to see Billy this morning. As they had been up since a little after 6:00am and Bella had enough time to bake up a little storm. She figured it was time to invite some of Jake's friends over and she wanted to be prepared and she was happy to bring some of that for Billy too.

The house smelled delightful. Yuma had helped Bella test-taste everything that she had baked, with his help of course._He was his son alright_. Jacob smiled to himself. He had made himself a huge plate with everything that she baked and already eaten it, so he couldn't blame the little guy.

"Are you almost ready?" he asked her.

"I just need to change," she answered and started the dishwasher, before quickly walking into his bedroom. He stared after her and for a second he wondered if it really was true and she had actually moved in with him or if it was a dream.

"Daddy! Go grampa!" A persistent tugging on his leg pulled him back to attention.

With a laugh, he picked up his son and carried him to the bathroom to wash his face and hands one more time.

Grabbing the cake box, he took Yuma to the truck and buckled him in. Bella followed soon after, but stopped Jacob before he could get into the car. "I've been thinking," she said, wrapping her arms around his chest. "What happened earlier… I was wondering if your wolf's patience is wearing thin with us, you know…" She chuckled amused. "Seeing how we first needed years to sort our stuff out and now he still has to wait to finally mark me…"

Jacob put his arms around her as well and hugged her gently. He wasn't happy at all that the fucker simply had ignored his order to wait and stay back. On the other hand, what Bella said made sense.

"You didn't seem to be freaked out at all," he said.

"Oh, I was shocked, alright. Suddenly, your wolf was talking to me through your mouth… But then, I trusted that the wolf knows what he is doing. He wouldn't hurt his mate."

Jacob kissed her, but not nearly as long as he wanted to as Yuma started to kick his feet and yell impatiently.

He pulled away with a chuckle, and said, "We will discuss it tonight babe, I promise."

**~~oOo~~**

Billy was super excited to see all of them, especially Yuma.

Yuma jumped right into his lap as soon as he was able to when he saw his granddad.

"Hey, there's my champ! Come, tell your grampa what's happening. Where have you been?" They both giggled as Billy turned his chair around in circles for a bit before heading back into the kitchen.

"Now, let's see what Bells baked for us." He pulled one of the containers into his lap and let Yuma help him open it.

He fed Yuma a cookie before laying out the plates on the table. Then Billy realized that Jacob and Bella were still standing on the porch, totally wrapped up in their little bubble and each admiring the other with googly eyes. "Are they like this all the time, little man?" He asked his grandson, but Yuma just smiled up at him and asked for a new cookie. The little guy just was too small to understand the concept of being in love.

"Come on in, kids," Billy called out. "It's getting cold in here. Jake, make us some coffee, will you? And Bella, come sit by us and tell me what delicious things you brought over. Oh, and your dad called. He will come down here in about an hour himself."

Bella and Jacob finally walked in holding hands. Jacob greeted his father with a clap on his shoulder, before getting the coffee maker started.

Bella knelt down to give Billy a hug.

"So you sorted things out, honey?" Billy asked quietly which Bella confirmed with a proud nod of her head.

"That's good, sweetheart. Very good!"

Jacob came to stand behind Bella and wrapped his arms around her. She snuggled into him. Yuma held up his arms to be picked up by Bella. When Yuma was seated on her hip, Jacob just opened his arms a little wider until he had them both in his embrace.

It was an unconscious thing. Billy doubted that they were in any way aware of how tight a unit they already were.

"You are all planning on staying for the bonfire this evening, right?" he asked once Bella put Yuma in his booster seat and they were settled at the table.

"Oh, there is a bonfire tonight, Billy?" Bella asked excitedly and then looked at Jacob. "How come you did not tell me, Jake?"

Looking rather clueless, Jacob shook his head.

"Bella, this was a last minute idea of Paul's to get together tonight, so Jake did not even know yet." Billy smiled broadly. Sometimes, his son in law could come up with good ideas, too. Paul had grown a lot on him since he had imprinted on Rachel. Not only did he deeply love and adore his daughter, he also had accepted him like a father.

"Yes, I would love to be there," Bella simply blurted out even before Jacob had a chance to answer her. "I happened to have baked plenty of goodies this morning I would love to bring," she continued in one long breath.

"So I guess it's settled. You'll both be there," Billy finished while looking at his son with amusement in his eyes. "Right, son?"

"Sure, sure, Dad. We will be there," Jacob said without taking his eyes off of Bella.

Billy noticed how Jacob was constantly advertently or inadvertently touching Bella. Be it trailing a finger down her arm, placing a soft kiss on her cheek or squeezing her hand lovingly, he never lost contact with her. Jacob was relaxed and kept on smiling since he had walked through his front door.

Billy loved seeing his son this happy. After all those years worrying about Jacob, it was as if he was looking at a completely different person. He elbowed Jacob in his ribs. "Who are you and what have you done to my son," he joked.

Jacob grinned. "Be careful, old man. Don't poke the beast."

"Or the wolf," Bella chimed in.

Yuma crowed, pointing his finger at Jacob, "Daddy wolf!"

"Sure am." Jacob ruffled through his son's hair.

They had their coffee and cake. Yuma pushed his toy cars around the table and eventually went into the living room to play with his wooden blocks.

When Charlie arrived, Yuma insisted-like always when he and Charlie saw each other-to be sat in the squad car and that Charlie at least switch on the lights for him. When they came back in, Yuma strutted around the house with Charlie's badge pinned to his shirt. Charlie had also given him his handcuffs which resulted in Yuma trying to close them around Bella's wrists.

Billy broke out in booming laughter when he saw Yuma's efforts. "Well, Charlie. I guess there you have your new apprentice."

"You bet!" Charlie said and called Yuma over.

They laughed even harder when Yuma with the help of Charlie managed to actually close the cuff around Billy's wrist and the armrest of his wheelchair.

Seeing their dads being distracted, Jacob wiggled his eyebrow suggestively at Bella and leaned down to whisper into her ear, "Wouldn't you love to be shackled to my bed, honey?"

Bella blushed despite trying to play it cool. After all, they were not alone. However, the mere idea of being cuffed to his bed and at his mercy had her squirming in her seat in no time.

Jacob inhaled deeply. His eyes darkened and took on a predatory look.

"Ah, you'd love that, Bells..." he cooed. "I'll have to ask Charlie for a pair of handcuffs." He only half joked, his mind was clearly fantasising about it. It showed in his sparkling eyes.

She swatted at him. "Stop that, 're not alone."

He leaned closer, his lips brushing over hers. "I wish we were... The things I would be doing to you... Hmmm, Bells. You are driving me crazy, but there will be a later for sure..." he promised with a wink.

With a quick peck on her lips, he stood up again and turned back toward the lively conversations in the room.

Slightly dazed, intrigued and definitely aroused, Bella blew him a kiss and whispered, "Love you..."

**~~oOo~~**

They had left for a walk soon after Yuma fell asleep on Billy's sofa. Both of Yuma's granddads had completely tired him out. It was so much fun seeing the love and adoration on both of their dads faces.

Charlie and Billy were happy to look after Yuma while they would be gone, that was apparent.

They walked comfortably next to each other, their hands intertwined when it started to drizzle slightly. Jacob walked toward the woods so they would be more sheltered. He still wanted his alone time with her for a little while longer.

They talked about easy issues. Being together like this simply felt right and their hearts were filled with joy and honest happiness. They enjoyed being with each other.

When the rain got heavier, Jacob picked her up, carrying her effortlessly as if she weighed nothing.

Her arms came around his neck and she put her head into his chest. He smelled so good, she would never ever be without him again, she vowed. He smelled like home and this is where she wanted to be.

"Where are we going, Jake?" Bella eventually asked, still dreamingly leaning against him, when they stepped out of the forest and Jacob walked past his father's house.

"Can't share you yet," Jacob answered with a smile that made her heart flutter as they came to a stop in front of his old garage.

There, he seemed to be hesitating for a second. "Haven't been in here for some time," he spoke softly, but feeling the rain pelt down on them, he shoved the gate open with his shoulder and stepped inside, still carrying Bella.

It was obvious that no one had been in here in a very long time, as the air was stale, dusty and wet, yet it also smelt familiar to Bella. "Jake, let me down, please. I want to see everything."

He obliged and she immediately reached out for the light switch which she remembered was somewhere located to the left. She found it right away and flicked it on.

The light flared up, bathing the room in a dim yellow light.

Amazed and a little stunned, she took in her surroundings. Bella stifled a gasp and tried to hide the shock that she was feeling, but Jacob sensed it anyway.

He tensed, waiting for her disapproval and disappointment to burst out of her.

"Oh, Jake," she said, her voice breaking. She crossed the room picking up a wrench. "What did you do?"

The garage was a disaster. His workbench was tossed over. Tools were cluttered everywhere, broken shelves and crates strewn on the floor, a shattered window carelessly nailed shut.

She could see and feel the pain in Jacob, his desperate actions of lashing out in anger, still clearly visible and evident everywhere she looked. She looked at him with sorrow, knowing very well that she alone had been the cause of this destruction.

He couldn't answer. The memories of those past days were getting to him. He watched her eyes slowly scanning through the entire space, taking the destruction in, that he had caused. Many of these destroyed things items he had once held dear.

_Would she judge him for what he had done?_

She walked over to where a car was hidden under a dirty cover. She looked at him, realization dawning on her. With tears glistening in her eyes, she asked him, "Is this... your rabbit?"

He shook his head vehemently. "Yes, but Bella... don't!" He tried to stop her, but in one swift tug she had pulled the cover down, before he could reach her.

The sight of the car before her broke her heart.

The headlights were kicked in, the driver's door ripped out, windows smashed, large dents littering the once shiny surface, and the upholstery was slashed. The hood was bent and twisted with cables and wires hanging out as well as a big technical looking block.

Bella understood she was looking at a corpse of a car, and again, she felt the pain for everything and felt responsible all over again.

"I know it looks bad in here right now, but I can clean it all up if it's important to you… I don't think I can fix the Rabbit though… I pretty much killed it," Jacob said sounding rather nervous.

Bella turned around to fully look at him. He seemed torn, his eyes transporting vulnerability and hurt, while his body was shaking slightly.

She had the feeling that he was fighting hard with himself not to simply shut her out from whatever he was feeling right now, plus he looked pretty guilty as well.

A deep sadness overcame her and tears were freely falling down her cheeks now. "I'm so sorry, Jake," she sobbed and closed the space between him. Lifting her hand, she cupped his cheek.

"When?" she asked. "When did you do this?" She wanted confirmation of what she suspected and what looked so damn obvious to her in fact.

Jacob swallowed around a lump forming in his throat. "Uhm..." For a second he wanted to brush it off as if this time had been of no importance at all. However, he'd learned the hard way that denying your feelings would only bite you in the ass eventually.

"It was the day I learned that you were divorced and had not bothered to tell me... I remember overhearing Charlie tell Billy and how furious I got... how betrayed I felt... I can't remember anything past that fury..."

Looking cautiously at Bella, Jacob added, "I had phased at some point and destroyed my garage. It was Leah who pulled me out of my funk... And then... we fucked on the hood of my car."

Bella winced.

"After that I let out my anger on the rabbit. You and I had so often sat here, you watching me trying to repair it... I think I was trying to... punish... myself for desecrating this place..."

"I'm so sorry..." she whispered through her tears. "... for all I put you through..."

Jacob didn't want Bella to feel miserable. He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her close to him. "Honey, it's in the past. We want to move forward from this, remember?"

Bella couldn't stop crying, and to top it all she not only felt guilty but also jealous of Leah once again.

"Shh, it's all good now, honey. I'm okay now. You're here with me..." Jacob gently rocked her, attempting to calm her.

He smoothed Bella's hair out of her face. The rain had left it damp and it was curling around her temples in tiny tendrils.

"I forgive you," he eventually said and realized it was the truth. He felt no resentment for her any longer. What had happened was a thing of the past. He knew they would be fine together and overcome any remaining issues.

"I feel so stupid... all I ever did was cause you pain..." Bella mumbled. "I don't deserve-"

He was quick to trap her chin between his thumb and fingers and made her look him in the eyes.

"I said I forgive you! So stop berating yourself, and don't you dare start a damn guilt fest," he said with a stern voice.

She looked up at him in utter shock. He had never spoken to her like that.

"But I..." she tried to respond.

Again, Jacob cut her off with a firm "no". He lifted an eyebrow, daring her to disagree.

With an apologetic smile, she stepped back, searching her pockets for a tissue. After wiping away her tears and blowing her nose, she felt a little better. Still, her heart was heavy, aching with how much pain her actions had caused him. But things had changed now. She had changed and she was about to show him.

Her eyes trailed over Jacob, making sure he was alright indeed. Then, it finally trickled through what he had said-he had forgiven her.

She should be feeling elated she realized, but somehow that awful gnawing knowledge that Jacob had had Leah in here was truly making her feel all kinds of distraught. Why was she being so jealous? Of course they had sex with each other, they had a child together for goodness sake.

Bella shook her head to dispel the angry thoughts. It was time to move forward, she was going to make sure of it. Biting her lip only slightly nervous, she turned her head to look at him straight on.

Rocking on his heels, he was smiling at her. She smiled back, her heart skipping a beat as she took in his appearance.

He was still slightly wet from the rain. Water drops were clinging to his hair. His damp shirt was hugging his body, accentuating his broad shoulders and those delicious abs. He was steaming were the water evaporated from his body temperature.

Jacob was a sight to behold. He made her feel all sorts of feelings, and she loved every single one of them. She knew without a doubt, that he had and always will fight for her, that he only ever wanted her, that he still wanted her after everything.

She stood, staring at him with her mouth hanging open with complete realization and acceptance. She was swearing to herself that from now on there'd only be happy memories for him of her and their future together.

The sudden realization that she also still felt so damn jealous, made her stubborn and possessive streak break through.

From now on, all those _specific_ memories would only be of her.

"You are mine!" she announced passionately without any warning or shyness. She found herself stalking over to him in two big strides and stopped, standing very close to him when she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

If Jake was surprised, he did not let on. He seemed to enjoy her bold behaviour.

She pulled him down to her height, starting to kiss him rather aggressively. Her tongue swept out instantly, demanding access to his mouth. Their teeth clicked together when his lips parted and her tongue entered his mouth.

She was urgent, and short of biting him in her frenzy.

He kissed her back with the same passion. With a growl, he pulled back just long enough to say, "And you are mine!"

Threading her hand through his hair, Bella hummed her consent all too happily and continued hungrily devouring his lips.

When she finally pulled back, they were both panting.

"I won't ever let you go," Bella said with a firm voice.

She shrugged out of her damp jacket and carelessly flung it to the floor. Then her hands were back on him, trailing over his chest and biceps, and continued boldly lower and lower until she had reached the button of his jeans. She gave it a swift tug to open it.

Her breath came in pants. Her eyes glossed over with excitement when she realized she wanted to stake her claim, that she wanted all of them to know that he belonged with her now. Encouraged by her own rederik, she let her hand glide in, and found what she was looking for immediately; His hard cock throbbing in her hand already. She gave it a squeeze as she rubbed against him, feeling excited to know the effect she had on him.

"Bella..." Jacob growled, but she pushed him back against his rabbit, with her hand still wrapped around him, telling him to stay put, and to not even move an inch. Then she let go of him and stepped back, staring at him hungrily.

She sure had changed, Jacob thought. His Bells, sweet, strong, and sexy as shit Bells. He loved her confidence and acting out on her needs.

Intrigued, Jacob wanted to see what she had planned. He controlled his urge to rip her clothes off and obliged to her firm request to stay put. His wolf was grinning proudly down onto his mate.

"Lose your shirt," she ordered, her eyes roaming over his upper body.

"Since you asked so nicely," he responded, a cocky smirk dancing on his lips, and reached behind him to pull his shirt over his head.

Admiring his naked skin, Bella licked her lips before reaching out and stroking over the hard planes of his chest, enjoying the feel of his smooth, hot skin underneath her fingertips.

Closing the little distance between them, she inhaled deeply, her nose following the trail of her fingers. He smelled so good, and with the rain still clinging to his skin, his scent was even more intense, uniquely Jacob, and _oh so_ male.

Not being able to resist, she poked her tongue out to taste him, and licked him straight across his sternum.

A heated spark of desire exploded in her body as she heard him hiss in surprise. She felt the telltale wetness settle between her legs, and as she let her tongue trace to his right nipple, she boldly asked, "Can you smell what you do to me? How much I want you?"

His hands tightened their hold on her waist as his nostrils flared and his eyes darkened. "Fuck, yes, Bella!" He growled deep in his chest.

This time, he dictated their kiss and it was every bit as passionate and possessive as hers. When he broke the kiss, she found herself rubbing against him and in a daze.

"I want to try something," she murmured.

"Try away," he answered huskily.

Bella went down to her knees, with her splayed out hands gliding down the hard ridges of his chest and stomach, suggesting her intentions clearly. Jake hissed and hardened even more.

Looking at the thin trail of fine, black hair starting at his navel and leading down, she wondered how he would react if she just run her tongue along that trail. Without overthinking it, she then did just that.

He groaned deep in the back of his throat, and his abdominal muscles flexed. Fascinated with his magnificent physique, she let her fingertips trace along the grooves and ridges of his abdominals. Her lips and tongue followed shortly after.

She savoured the feel and taste of his skin, and couldn't help herself but slightly graze her teeth over his pelvic muscle, the glorious V.

He hissed and then groaned. "Damn, you're killing me, honey."

Bella felt his hands come up and rest on the top of her head. Her own arousal shot up a notch, realizing that she was right in the middle of acting out one of her favorite fantasies about him.

She looked up at him, and saw his intense gaze was fixed on her. She felt encouraged to continue doing what she was doing. She was pleasuring both of them and she felt proud of herself for following through on her desires to make him feel good.

Bella tried to concentrate only on him now, and simply let her intuitions guide her. She listened to Jake's breathing speed up as she pulled his jeans all the way down to his ankles.

Fascinated she looked at his impressive and throbbing cock and took it into both of her hands, not even realizing what this action did to both Jake and his wolf.

Jake felt instant pleasure and delight and simply loved Bella's initiative. She did not even know how weak in the knees she made him when she just looked into his eyes, but seeing her small hands around his dick almost did him in.

He also felt the wolf's impatience, he was scratching violently at the surface, and Jake knew what he wanted to do. It was time, that he knew, _but not right now, not in here, so move the hell aside right fucking NOW!_

She wanted him in her mouth. She wanted to explore and taste him. She wanted him to feel good.

She started kissing up and down his cock, admiring the feel of soft skin over his hard as steel length. Then, she licked him, tracing left and right along his cock until boldly licking the underside of his shaft from the base to the top, following the path of his pulsing vein.

He groaned softly by the sensation of her lips and tongue. His cock was straining towards her, longing to be engulfed by her wet heat.

Encouraged and finding that she loved the way he smelled and tasted, she wanted to know how it would feel to have him all the way in to the back of her throat. Would she manage? She only hesitated for a split second. Simply closing her eyes, she concentrated on him and opened her lips, letting part of his length slide into her mouth.

Hearing Jake's strangled cry and feeling his hands put more pressure on her head to hold her in place sent a positive shock through her. It was a dead giveaway that she did it right.

Pride churned her on, as she let her tongue run little circles around the head of his cock and slowly let him slide in deeper. Again, he groaned and his hips bucked slightly.

Opening her eyes, she looked at him and gasped, feeling a jolt of arousal shoot between her legs and her clit starting to pulse.

He was staring at her, his eyes burning like liquid fire, all muscles tense, his skin glistening with a slight sheen of perspiration. Her gasp allowed his cock to go even deeper into her mouth and on instinct she closed her lips tightly, trying to stop him from going too deep.

Encouraged by the sounds of his pleasure, she became more confident in what she was doing. Keeping one hand wrapped around the base of his cock, she sucked at him, cautiously at first but then harder and faster. Her other hand reached out, caressing his hip and thigh, before going between his legs and gently touching his balls.

"Fuck, Bells!" Jacob cursed. "Feels so damn good…" He tightened his hold, fisting strands of her hair, and his hips started pumping rhythmically.

Bella's breathing started to speed up as she became more and more aroused. She loved how he took what he wanted from her, somewhat unrestrained but still careful enough. She closed her hand around his sac and tugged at it, resulting in him becoming even more demanding.

The tingling and throbbing in her sex increased. She pressed her thighs together, hoping to relieve some of the tension. She felt so turned on by his reaction. It made her feel invincible and wanting to please him even more.

Hollowing her cheeks out, she increased the pace, sucking his throbbing erection as deep as she dared into her mouth. Focusing on her breathing, she felt him swell even more and his thrusts falter slightly.

She moaned around him, applying more pressure to his smooth, hard length.

Her relentless mouth held him firm and her tongue did these wicked things to him. In the end, her humming sounds drove him over the edge as he shuddered during his orgasm. His entire body tightened up as he held her head in an iron grip. Damn, she was perfect.

Looking up through her lashes, she saw he had his head thrown back and his eyes squeezed tightly shut. The tendons in his neck stood out stark, and then he shouted her name.

This is when she felt hot liquid pushing down her throat. She had to swallow quickly, else she felt like she would drown. She never even thought about it twice.

He tasted so good. She knew instantly that she wanted to taste him again and again.

As the pulsating slowed down, she felt him relax slightly. He took her by her arms, hauling her up, and Bella knew that now it was her turn.

She was so hot for him, she could barely stand it any longer. Also proud of herself for making him cum so fast, she grabbed his face, nearly attacking him by kissing him aggressively and in a frenzy.

Jacob tasted himself on her lips and _fuck_ if it didn't turn him on. He and his wolf more than liked it when she took initiative and sort of claimed him. She bit at him in her need, her nails raking across his skin, the sounds she was making were making him lose his control and fast.

Jacob spun her around, so her front was pushed into his rabbit. He pressed his quickly recovering length into her from behind, while his fingers swiftly opened the buttons of her jeans and pushed it down her ass.

His lips caressed the soft skin of her neck and shoulder where he was going to place his mark soon. The need to mate with her, to claim her wolf style was strong and quickly becoming hard to ignore any longer.

"Jake..." She begged, arching her back, so her delectable ass pressed against his cock.

Placing one hand possessively over her soft mound, he dragged the other up and under her shirt, finding her breast and squeezing it.

"You want me, Bells?" he rasped, his voice dropping to that deep, rumbling baritone that made her knees shake and her desire spike. His teeth clamped down on her neck just shy of breaking her skin.

Her breathing came in pants as she squirmed in his arms, trying to find the right friction that would get her off.

Then she finally felt his fingers urgently push into her wet heat. She clenched around him, feeling she was about to come almost instantaneously.

"Yes, yes, yes..." she babbled almost deliriously.

"That's right baby, let it go. Hmmmm, oh,... Damn, you are so sexy, Bells." Jacob purred into her ear as she soaked his fingers with her juices.

Little cries of pleasure fell from her lips as he deftly worked his fingers in and out of her while pressing his thumb against her clit rhythmically.

"So close, Jake. I'm... ah..." her voice started to fail her when the pleasure coiled in the pit of her stomach, ready to spring at any moment.

Suddenly, Jacob growled viciously and moved at wolf speed, turning around and covering her with his body.

He must have heard someone approaching.

Bella whimpered at the loss of him. She was so wound up, she was aching deep in her core. She grabbed him, wanting his fingers back in her pussy, or better yet his hard length. "Jake…" she whined, rubbing against him wantonly.

She heard laughter then which was just as effective to make her blood run cold like a freezing shower. With a squeak, she hid behind Jacob's broad back.

Jacob growled again. He was vibrating, his muscles flexing and twitching under his skin as his sensitive nose sniffed out who was approaching and that a hand was already on the handle, starting to push it open.

"Paul!" he roared furiously. "I'm gonna kill you if you even think of entering." Jacob pulled up his jeans and stomped over, sliding the gate open for just a fraction. Covering the opening with his body, not allowing a shred of light to go through much less any visibility of his Bells. His eyes fixed on his pack mate in a hard glare.

Paul stood with his hands shoved into his jeans pockets and grinned, knowing very well what he had interrupted but could not help himself to purposefully lift his head and take in a deep whiff. His grin widened. He changed his demeanour slightly, but still acting cocky.

"What do you want?" Jacob addressed him curtly.

"Rach and I just came by to see if you were going to meet us at the bonfire," Paul explained, a mischievous smile cracking over his face, while giving it another try to sneak a peek at Bella, even though he very well knew that he was most definitely playing with fire. He knew that his Alpha's patience was about to break. The deadly gleam in Jacob's eye spoke louder than words.

"I overheard Chief Swan wondering where you have gone. He was contemplating on checking your garage…"

"One more look, Paul, and you're a very dead man," Jacob spat, deeply annoyed at Paul's rude behaviour.

As it was, it was hard enough for him to suppress this damn need to finally mark his mate. Now having Paul step into his territory riled him and his wolf up so bad that he wanted to rip into him and make him pay for daring to interfere.

Looking in his Alpha's face and feeling his Alpha's aggressive vibes, Paul backed off a little, relaxing into a more submissive stance, even if he was the least submissive wolf in the pack next to Jacob. He had the feeling he was missing something important. Jacob's wolf was just too close to the surface, his eyes were too feral, his voice too deep.

Paul's gut feeling told him that he hadn't just disturbed his Alpha fucking but that more was going on and that this had everything to do with the wolf.

However, over there at the Black's house there was still Bella's father losing his cool at the thought that Jake might be ravishing his little girl, and for once Paul simply wanted to help. He wanted his Alpha to be happy. That's right, he actually cared a great deal for him, but if anyone ever accused him of having 'feelings' like that, he will hurt this person severely.

Barely holding on to his human self now, Jacob growled, his voice laced with steel and force. "Charlie knows about me and Bella. Now get lost!"

"That might be, but..." Paul drawled, still being his usual cocky self, but wise enough to now keep his eyes trained to the ground and not to enrage Jacob any further. "I doubt Chief Swan will appreciate seeing you fuck his daughter's brains out."

Jacob felt Bella's cool little hand come to rest on his biceps, rubbing it in a soothing manner. "It's okay, Jake," she said calmly, Paul is right, we need to go back, baby."

Glancing over his shoulder, he saw all her clothes were back in place. Her lips were swollen from his kisses, damn.

He really wanted nothing more than to make her cum, and then to finish what they had started. Wrapping his arm around her, he pulled her into his side, pressing a kiss onto the top of her head.

"Thank you for warning us, Paul," she said quietly, not even looking at the other wolf, her hand still running over Jake's back attempting to calm him. "But please leave now."

"See ya at the bonfire…" Paul said, turning around and quickly walking over to the Black's home.

Only when he had disappeared, Jacob relaxed slightly. Breathing in her sweet scent, he tried to regain his calm completely.

"We can still finish this tonight, you know?" She smiled reassuringly and wiggled her eyebrows at him in a suggestive manner. She leaned up and, contrary to her tantalizing smile, she kissed him on his lips gently. "After the bonfire…"

Jake felt so proud of her, she has grown into a very mature woman who knew what she wanted. He wanted to give it to her so badly and he started to get annoyed all over again to be constantly interrupted.

A thought formed in his head at this moment. He would take her to this damned bonfire alright, even though the wolf bristled at the idea of being around other males right now, as he needed to have his mate all to himself... soon, like very very soon.

_Down, wolf,_ Jacob growled internally, to get the wolf's attention. He was fully agreeing with his wolf and knew that he had run out of patience once and for all.

_I_ _will make it happen tonight, I am promising this to you! Enough is enough!_ He felt the wolf easy off momentarily and he knew Jake had meant it.

But, one more thing...you better let me handle this and you better stay back during this fucking bonfire.

"I think I will have to remind Charlie that I'm an adult and that's it's strictly my business what I do when I'm with you," Bella threw in with a steely voice, interrupting Jacob's reverie with his wolf.

Oh yes, this will be their night, both the wolf and the man gleamed proudly at their mate.

**~~oOo~~**


	26. Chapter 26 The Marking

**Hostage of Love**

**Chapter 25**

**The Marking**

**so i tried to erase it**

**but the ink bled right through**

**almost drove myself crazy**

**when these words led to you**

**and all these useless dreams**

**of living alone**

**like a dogless bone…**

**so come let me love you**

**come let me love you**

**and then… colour me in**

**Damien Rice, Colour Me In**

** watch?v=QUn-k0jzbFs**

**Damien Rice, Colour Me In**

_**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

~~oOo~~

**Thank you to LuvinJ for pre-reading and providing valuable input, and to Mist, our very skillful Beta for catching our mistakes :-) You gals saved us once more from...well...ourselves, LOL!**

**HUGS!**

~~oOo~~

_They returned to the house after a couple of minutes which Jacob needed to get his wolf to back down. He immediately went to check in on Yuma who was happily talking off Rachel's ear, while Bella took Charlie aside to have a few honest words with him. Jacob was so proud of Bella, happy that she stood up for herself, for what she wanted, and of course for him._

_An hour later they left to walk to the beach for a short pack meeting._

~~oOo~~

Bella started the evening watching the meeting quietly from the sidelines as Jacob had her tucked into his side, obviously not wanting to let her go. Eventually, the pack protested as they accused Jake to hide Bella from them. He reluctantly let her go, but was carefully watching over the proceedings.

Bella was passed from one wolf to the next, each pulled her into those heated hugs and welcomed her back.

Bella was both thrilled with the reception and embarrassed to receive all this attention at the same time. But she was part of this pack now, or she would be, hopefully very soon and better get used to her 'brothers' too.

She was going to have to get a much thicker skin and she was going to have to work on her own 'sarcasm skills', else the pack would have a hayday with her, whenever Jake was not looking.

Less than fifteen minutes later, Jake had her back in his lap and she was observing their meeting with interest. The pack operated efficiently and it was apparent how much they cared and loved one another she was.

They discussed patrols, cleared issues and then, Leah passed out the new patrolling schedule, as she has been doing so for the last few months as a favor to Jacob.

With a knowing smirk, Bella watched how the wolves interacted with Leah. They were drawn to her, hovering protectively, brushing her in passing, until Sam had had enough and barked at them to back off of his wife.

As far as Bella knew nobody but her and Sam knew about Leah's pregnancy, but the pack was sharp. They would pick up on her 'new' scent that was her baby easily, and they were all in protective overdrive already.

Finally, Leah stood before Jacob, smiled and said, "I purposefully left you off the patrol schedule for five days flat, Alpha, so you have some time to think and relax and get your stuff together. Now, you better claim that girl of yours... or else..."

Jacob raised a questioning eyebrow, then growled with a glare. "Or else?"

Leah, totally unfazed by his glare, only grinned at him, bumping shoulders with an equally grinning Bella. "Or else!"

Jacob's nostrils flared and he took a deep breath. Why can she never stay out of my business, he wondered once again,when he suddenly...What? Wait! He inhaled again, his eyes meeting Sam's who was ready to jump in should his Alpha decide to lay into his wife, then flitted over to Bella who was still smiling like a loon.

A small but already there scent of new pup filtered through his nostrils.

Although Jacob usually was very in tune with his pack's dynamics, it had taken him a while putting one and one together as he was distracted watching Bella study his pack.

Jacob's arm came forward, pulling Leah into his body surprisingly gentle. He sniffed her again, then nodded, very pleased. A genuine smile spread all over his face. "Congratulations, Leah," he whispered into her ear, before releasing her and walking over to Sam.

He put his hand on Sam's shoulder and they shared a deep look. "Congratulations, Sam. I'm very happy for you!"

~oOo~

The bonfire was a fun affair with lots of eating and drinking going on. For the first time in years, he enjoyed the evening without his pack breathing down his neck about what he was drinking and how much. It was a pleasant change for him.

Bella only had 2 glasses of delicious red wine and started to feel very relaxed. She had such fun with Rachel, Kim and Embry's girlfriend Brianna. Giggling and feeling fantastic she started dancing with Rachel and Kim.

Perched on a boulder, Jacob enjoyed watching Bella. The world around him more or less disappeared, he had only eyes for Bella. Gone was the clumsiness she was known for. She had a way of swaying her hips that made his throat go dry. It was only the knowledge of how much she loved being around their friends that kept him from simply grabbing her and running off with her, for now...

His wolf pushed against his tight hold a little stronger now, wanting to finally mark their mate, and Jacob needed and wanted that, too. However, right now he needed Bella to have some fun and enjoy herself. He felt how much being together with the girls and the pack and having their approval meant to her, so he wasn't going to press for an early departure...yet. But leave they would and then they would seal their mating bond.

Damn right!...the wolf chimed in, unnecessarily.

Letting the knowledge and certainty flow through him, Jacob relaxed, forcing the wolf into some more patience so he could enjoy himself a little too.

Intrigued, Jacob watched Bella approach him, her hips still swaying playfully "Dance with me," she said, beckoning him to her with a crook of her finger. He moved forward entranced by the sparkle in her eyes and sensual sway of her body. Completely unabashed and utterly confident in herself, Bella started to dance and encircle him.

There was a mutual understanding and knowledge in the air. It was the most natural thing. There was no question or doubt between them, only anticipation and excitement.

He stopped her on her second turn and wound his arm around her waist, pulling her flush against him, her back pressed into his chest. Moving to the rhythm of the music, he used his knee to spread her legs and wedge his thigh between them. He knew she could feel his erection when he pressed himself against her. A low moan fell from her lips when his hand splayed across her stomach, his fingertips searching and finding bare, soft skin.

She arched her back, one arm reaching for his neck as she started to grind against him. He caught on easily, providing her with the counter moves she was hoping for. His free hand buried in her hair and tilted her head to give him better access to her neck. Trailing her soft skin with hot, moist kisses, Jacob felt his resolve to wait waver.

Lost in their own world, neither of them realized that the pack was giving them a wide berth, seeing as Jacob's eyes turned wolf and a slight, but steady growl he wasn't even aware of warned off anyone to come any closer.

When the next song faded out, Bella pulled him down to her. She recognized the wolf gazing at her through Jacob's eyes. She shivered, her arousal flaring up even more. She wouldn't feel concerned in any way with the wolf's closeness. She trusted both of them entirely. Breathless and in a lustful daze, she whispered, "I'm ready for both of you, Jake. Make me yours tonight and forever."

Jacob simply swept her up into his arms, knowing that this is it for him, he could not wait any longer.

His pack had been watching him closely from a distance, as he carried her into the forest at a fast pace. They looked at each other as he took her away, they understood completely and they approved.

Hope for a better future was in everyone's thoughts at last. Their Alpha deserved happiness after all these years.

~~oOo~~

He never responded to her in words, he only breathed her in deeply but she understood exactly just as he had expected that she would.

"Where are we going, Jake?" Bella asked eventually as she noticed the unfamiliar direction he took. "We're not going home, are we?"

"I can't have anyone barge in on us," Jacob answered in a sudden rough tone and it was all that Bella needed to hear, she fully understood and welcomed what would happen next.

She only nodded and snuggled into his chest, feeling absolutely content, and the longer Jacob walked the more excited she became.

"Are we almost there?" she asked impatiently, rubbing the tip of her nose over his nipple that she felt through the soft fabric of his shirt.

A growl rose from his chest as he tightened his hold around her. "If you keep doing that, I'll take you here on that forest floor, Bells," he rumbled when her tongue poked out and traced the now hardened peak.

She took in a sharp breath and looked up at him through half-hooded eyes, everything in her body language indicating that she wouldn't mind at all. However, no matter how strong the urge to mate and claim her was right now, it was too cold for her and the terrain too rough. It wasn't how he wanted the night to go.

She asked again, a smirk playing on her lips, "How much longer, Jake?" This time, her fingertips played with the hair in the nape of his neck, slightly tugging it the way he liked it. The sweet scent of her growing arousal filled his senses.

His wolf marvelled at how she tried to seduce them, but he thought as well that they should go somewhere warm and protected. They could move a lot faster to get there, the wolf thought, projecting his suggestion to Jacob.

"We'll need about half an hour like this, we would be faster going wolf," Jacob answered, looking directly at Bella and letting the comment sink in for a moment.

"Oh," Bella said, excitement rising in her throat immediately. Jacob's wolf was huge, and his pelt was thick, she would be able to hold on quite fine. "Okay," she agreed with a smile around her lips and an enthusiastic nod of her head.

Jacob put Bella back on her feet and stepped aside. Quickly stripping down, he gave his clothes into her waiting hands. "You ready?"

For a moment, she just stood still, openly admiring his beautiful body, then she folded his jeans and shirt into a little package, taking some time with it, while eying him shamelessly as she put it underneath her jacket. "Sure. Let's go," she finally announced.

The air around him shimmered, the edges around his body blurred and then Jacob phased effortlessly into his wolf. Shaking out his fur, the wolf stepped closer, nudged her thigh in greeting and laid down at her feet.

"Hi," Bella breathed, gently stroking the wolf's muzzle. Even laying down on the forest floor, he still was huge, she had to slightly tilt her head up to look him in the eyes. Hot puffs of breaths warmed her face when she gazed into the wolf's eyes, a perfect mixture of Jacob and wolf gazing back at her. She placed a kiss on his snout without hesitation, fearlessly, simply accepting.

The wolf pushed his muzzle into her neck, breathing in her scent. He let out a blissful rumble, before nudging her again, impatiently indicating that she should get up onto his back.

Bella walked around, stopping at his side. Using all of her strength, she pulled herself up and into a sitting position on his back. When she was settled, she grabbed handfuls of his thick and silky fur and leaned forward to let him know she was ready.

Jacob started to walk cautiously one step at a time, then slowly picking up speed, waiting for Bella to adjust to this new way of transportation. Only when he felt that she had gotten the hang out of balancing herself, he started to stride out faster until they went at a really fast pace.

It was such a strange and exciting sensation the way it had felt moving quite so fast but not able to see anything. It was too dark in the forest for her human sight, but she trusted Jacob and his keen eyesight to bring her where he wanted them to be without running into trees.

Bella relaxed and realized how much she loved riding the wolf, she could feel it all the way down to her stomach. She cried out with delight and exhilaration. She felt utter joy and it became very quickly one of her favorite things to do.

Without warning Jacob stopped. They were standing at the edge of a small clearing. The sparse cold light of the moon broke through the treetops, helping her to see differnt shades. Nestled against a group of sitka spruce, sat an old, cabin and she realized that must be where Jacob wanted them to spend the night. Although old, it seemed to be in pretty good condition, at least from what she was able to see. To be honest, Bella couldn't care less, as long as Jacob deemed it safe enough to let go and let happen what was supposed to happen for a long time - to make her his claimed mate.

They rounded the clearing, the wolf putting his nose to the ground, searching avidly for any traces that might not belong here. She kept quiet on his back, recognizing this need for what it was. Tonight he was ruled by his instincts more than ever.

After a while he lifted his head, expelling a short howl, his eyes darting left and right. He was relaxed, low growls rolling off his tongue from time to time, seemingly communicating with whoever wolf was assigned to patrolling tonight.

Bella observed this, once again a deep sense of peace and safety filling her.

Finally trotting in front of the cabin, Jacob settled down and she slid down from his back, knees a little wobbly, but all around she was thrilled and overcome with anticipation of what would come next. She knew that both of their lives would change this night, and she could have not been more happy about it.

Jacob phased back and reached high to produce a key that was wedged between two roof tiles. He unlocked the door and took her into his arms, as they quietly slipped into the cabin.

He was proud of her, and he was proud of himself just as much as he was looking forward to finally making her completely his.

They had overcome so many hurdles that each of them had faced. They both had suffered a great deal and somehow they had found the strength within themselves to prevail when they were at their weakest points in their lives. Too many damn obstacles and heartaches, but all of this is in their past now, she will be mine forever, Jacob tought. Their truly meant life together could finally begin.

Bella seemed to have a complete acknowledgement and understanding of the very same thoughts he was entertaining at the moment just by quietly studying his eyes and body language.

~oOo~

He was standing in the middle of the cabin, door shut tightly behind them to keep the world outside. His wolf had insisted he checked the perimeter, making sure everything was safe before he lost himself in his mate.

The moon shone brightly into the room. It called to the wolf in him. Everything was lining up and both would meet their fate tonight.

He looked at his mate with unconcealed anticipation. She was ready for him. Her eyes shone fiercely in her face, as she looked around the room, impatience lacing her features. Slowly, he took her hand and led her without saying a word into the tiny bedroom.

He smelled the fresh sheets he'd put on the bed earlier in the week in preparation for her. The still lingering sharp scent of detergent, gave him a sense of peace, knowing that he had transformed his rather untended retreat from his darker days into a clean place where they both could feel comfortable. It still was nothing more than an old and sparsely furnished cabin, but it was okay.

They stood silent for a moment, their foreheads touching in mutual understanding, and their hands holding on to each other firmly. Eventually, she took a few steps back.

Bella was confident, with a gleam of mischief in her eyes as she spoke softly, enticingly even. "Lay in bed, Jake, and look at me... Watch me..." She felt no nerves, only the knowledge of the inevitable. Bella was proud of the magnificent man in front of her.

Her mouth curved slightly displaying a pleased smile, her tongue darting out to lick her lips when Jacob did exactly as she requested. He was naked, not having bothered with dressing after phasing back. His desire for her was obvious, hard and heavy, smacking against his chiseled stomach when he lay back on the mattress.

He continued watching her carefully as she stood in front of him. She began to slowly undress herself. Her eyes locked onto his, making sure he was really seeing her and nothing else. He did not move, could not move even if he tried. Jacob was fascinated by her beauty and her bold action. The wolf was pleased. She was going to be a perfect mate for them both.

As piece after piece of her clothing fell to the ground, Jacob thought she was looking more beautiful and determined than he had ever seen her before. Bit by bit, she revealed more of her creamy skin and her sweet scent, thick with desire, surrounded him like a tantalizing cocoon. The wolf approved once more and hummed slightly in his throat.

Finally, she was naked and stepped closer to the bed. His eyes appreciatively raked over her feminine curves; long, toned legs, the sensual swell of her hips, the flat expanse of her stomach, the soft heaviness of her breasts, the willowy slope of her neck.

He reached out, his fingertips touching her hip, the tenderness of his touch concealing the craving need for her. The wolf was so fucking close already, pushing, he had waited long enough. Jacob knew once this whole thing started, the need to fully take control, to dominate, to claim her would be overwhelmingly strong. The wolf demanded he be a part of it too.

Jacob instinctively knew the claiming would only be complete if he and his wolf claimed her as one unity - wolf and warrior together.

Bella felt the heat radiating off Jacob's body. The air bristled, and she knew that the wolf was close to the surface. He had to be. She could feel it, in fact, she could have sworn that she could almost see him. She certainly could sense him and by God, she could taste him in the air. It was intoxicating. Her heart swelled. She loved them both beyond anything.

"You have to stop fighting your wolf," Bella mused, coming to the same understanding. "I think the two of you need to do this together, Jake."

"I know," Jacob answered, lacing his fingers with hers, pulling her closer.

She knew without a doubt that she would meet the wolf tonight, and she couldn't wait. After all, he was hers and she was his.

His eyes burned into her own. With a soft low growl, Jacob let go of the tight hold on his wolf, and when his eyes flashed yellow, she knew she was now dealing with his wolf.

"Hi", Bella spoke quietly into to the wolf's eyes, welcoming him. She knew that this moment was very significant.

"Mine!" The wolf answered, his voice just a fraction deeper than Jacob's and quite a lot more animalistic. Sitting up on the bed and trapping her face in both of his warrior's hands, he leaned forward and inhaled her scent deeply at her pulsing neck vein. His nose moved up to her face and she felt a hot lick across her cheek at the wolf's acknowledgement and approval.

This action was different then when he nuzzled her in his wolf form. This was the wolf using Jacob's human body to its advantage, taking what he craved.

Again, he pushed his nose into her neck, then lapping at the spot in the crook of her neck that he planned on marking.

She tipped her head back with a throaty moan, surrendering to his unspoken demand and the wolf, pleased with her submission, bit down just slightly. He rolled the skin with his lips, and suckled on it with a heated growl, marveling in the responding bloom of her arousal.

The wolf pulled back when her knees buckled, chuckling at her protesting whimper. "You are mine," he repeated and descended on her lips with fervour, licking across them with his heated tongue, demanding entrance.

She opened up to him in an instant. Her arms, having hung by her side in sensual bliss, came up and wound around his neck. He smelled so good, she wanted, no, needed his scent to infiltrate her skin, so she would always have part of him with her.

With a last lick and slight nip on her lower lip, the wolf retreated just slightly, only so that his warrior could take his place right by his side.

As his eyes turned back to brown, a wave of power surged through Jacob when he and the wolf merged together. It was exhilarating, euphoric, and it felt so fucking right. A deep growl rose from the depth of his being. His hips jerked forward, as the need to take and claim and bite turned into something even more profound, purely instinctual, primal.

Her eyes snapped up, the hold of his hands on her hips tightened and her body reacted to the growl, releasing a flood of hormones and with it a wild craving.

"Jacob," she breathed on a gasp, reaching for his biceps as she watched his dark brown eyes slowly blend with the glowing lupine yellow until they were flecked with spots that looked like bright yellow stars to her.

He kissed her again, lips coming together with freshly invoked passion, teeth clicking, tongues tangling, breaths stolen and shared.

They fell onto the bed, without either of them even realizing it.

As soon as their kiss stopped, her body went lax and she turned onto her back. Fully aware of what she was doing, she looked him straight in the eyes as she put her arms above her head, a clear sign of submission.

The wolf growled in pure pleasure and need. Take her! Claim her!

Jacob was rock hard, the pressure in his groin painful. He had to have her right now.

She moaned softly and pressed her back deeper into the mattress, displaying her impatience.

In one smooth movement, Jacob rolled her over onto her stomach, for once following his instincts. Slowly, he slid over her, rubbing his body all over her back, inhaling her deeply. She smelled so good.

Take her, his wolf growled again, and Jacob let his rigid length slip between her legs, grinding against her soft folds. She was so wet, and so fucking ready for him, it almost drove him insane.

"Oh Jake!" He heard her moan, as she pushed back into his groin, creating the sweetest friction. She was going to drive him over the edge, he just knew it.

"Bells..." he said huskily, sliding through her slippery heat. "I know you are ready for us, baby, because there is no turning back now or ever, you hear me?"

"Yes, yes, I am so ready, take all of me…." Her voice trembled with need. She felt nothing but him now. He engulfed her entire being, every cell of her body.

"Up!" he demanded harshly. His hands slid possessively under her body as he hovered over her, greedily inhaling her scent. She felt him run his nose along the entire length of her back. Then he moved back up to her neck, lavishing her neck and shoulder with licks and nips.

She was motionless, enjoying this unusual caress, a perfect mix of primal need and human tenderness, her body slowly sliding back on the bed.

He needed more. His wolf needed more...more...MORE... ALL of her...**NOW!**

Both, Jacob and the wolf where in utter sync with each other. This was it for both of them.

"On all fours!" His voice was deep and commanding as he nipped at her in reprimand. "I did not tell you to slide back down!"

Suddenly highly alert, she could do nothing but obey. Her eyes shot open, fully aware of who demanded her now. Her eyes glowed back at him, laced with excitement. "Do it, Jake! Take all of me," she hissed back at the wolf.

She pushed herself up on her hands and knees, in one swift movement, while looking back at him expectantly. Excitement pulsed through her over and over again as she watched him staring down at her possessively. Jacob looked back at her with gleaming eyes.

She couldn't help but gasp. He seemed so different. Rougher. More feral. She had been waiting for him, she wanted him, but really seeing Jacob and this new power radiating through him was mind boggling. He was magnificent, he was beautiful and he was hers.

She squirmed, trying to rub up against him. She wanted him so badly.

"Hold still!" he growled, barely holding on to his own sanity. If she wiggled against him like that he was going to lose his shit. He was so hard, his cock was hurting.

She whimpered in response to his growl, and arched her back, immediately, offering herself to him to take her as he pleased.

"Hmmm, I like that," Jacob grunted. his hand wrapped around his cock, gripping it hard and working it rather roughly.

She turned her head back, trying to see what he was doing. She was mesmerized. "Oh, God..." she moaned, staring at him with needy eyes. Her body released a new flow of creamy wetness.

"Keep your head down!" he ordered in a voice that tolerated no dissent.

She whimpered. "Please..."

His wolf growled ravenously. Take her!

Damn right, he wanted to take her. Take her hard and claim her. It was time. Jacob growled low and deep and palmed her sex with a possessive hand.

His voice rumbled in his chest as his finger skimmed over her soft folds. Then, his hands closed around her thighs, spreading them wider apart.

"Yes, Jake…" Bella moaned. "Please, just fuck me already," she wailed on a delirious sob. She wanted him to take ! She was on the verge of losing it, impatience and insanity outlining her irises. She reached out to grab him.

He moved just out of her reach and barked a rough, "I had told you not to move!"

Her arousal spiked at his words. Her arms gave out, and she dropped to her elbows submissively.

This was it, this is how he needed her, his wolf went ballistic. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! She was marvellous, and her obedience edged him on even more. His strong arm snaked around her waist. The muscles in his back twitched, itching for movement, driving him into action. Without further warning, he thrust into her in one long and hard move.

She cried out at the sudden powerful intrusion.

"Fuck, honey!" Jacob growled as her walls tightened around him, holding him, pulling him deeper.

He stalled for only one brief moment. The wolf was raging. "You ready?" Jacob grunted, trembling with the effort to stay still for only the shortest moment, the blazing fire in him burning him alive.

"Take me," she whispered, having fully submitted to him.

His hand shot out to push her head into the pillows.

MINE! His wolf growled, shaking with desire. Mine. His hips jerked, desperate to push forward. His hand buried in her hair, grasping a thick strand and then he started fucking her. Hard.

Her screams of shock and pleasure only driving him on more, he wanted to engulf her whole body, he needed to be everywhere, he was all beast now. He took hold of her hair again, roughly pulling her up, her back meeting his chest as he wrapped one massive arm around her torso. Tilting her head to the side and exposing her creamy flesh on the back of her neck, he leaned forward, for one last time scenting her there and running his tongue over that spot.

Bella reached out blindly, searching for purchase by holding on to a heavily muscle-corded thigh, her nails leaving deep marks on his skin. She was so ready. Her world reduced to only the two of them, his powerful, demanding thrusts, the coiling pleasure in her lower stomach, his hot lips skimming over the slope of her neck.

"Claim me, Jacob," she demanded, offering willingly her neck and throat to him. "Claim me, and make me yours!"

Never slowing his relentless pace, he threw his head back and howled in triumph. He felt her walls quiver around him, starting to clench. Her breathing faltered, her mouth fell open in a wordless cry, as her body prepared to let go and fall over the edge.

"You. Are. Mine!" Without warning, his teeth went through her soft skin on the base of her neck, and his senses were flooded with the taste of the pure essence of her.

Pain shot through her, mixing with her orgasm that ripped through her with force, and then she only felt pleasure, such pleasure that she thought she died and went to heaven. Then all she felt was him, his overwhelming presence pulling even more pleasure from her body with powerful thrusts and expert strokes before he too exploded with a victorious cry.

His cry and her screams echoed through the forest, and then howls sounded. First one closer by, then two farther away until the whole pack down in La Push fell in, welcoming the bond, welcoming the Alpha's Mate.

He couldn't stop moving inside her. He felt their souls wrap around each other, felt a spiritual part of him enter her system. He felt the energy flow, back and forth like a pendulum, creating an unbreakable bond between them.

Their orgasms went on as their souls united. She pulsed around him, hips circling and undulating, trying to pull him closer and closer still.

Finally, he removed his teeth and lapped at the bleeding bite mark. They fell on the bed in a tangled heap of limbs. He gently turned her around until she was lying beneath him, looking up into his eyes. Time was meaningless. They only felt pure unadulterated bliss, bodies moving in tandem, minds floating, spinning, flying.

At the end, a final orgasm erupted out of both of them, and then it was complete peaceful silence when they gave in the exhaustion and fell asleep in each others arms.

She was his, he had marked his mate.

~~oOo~~ 

**A/N: Soooooo, there it was guys! This was the chapter you all have been waiting for right? and we hope it did not disappoint. Your thoughts and comments are very welcome if you feel inclined too :-) Thank you for reading.**

**Hugs, EyJ and JB**


	27. Chapter 27 - I can't wait

**Hostage of Love**

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**Chapter 26**

**I Can't Wait**

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**Song: Ben Rue "I Can't Wait" (To Be My Wife)**

**.**

**A/N: Check out this song while reading, it's so freaking cute:-)**

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**A huge thank you to Mist for doing such a fantastic beta job, and to LuvinJ for pre-reading again, we treasure you both. HUGS and KISSES girls!**

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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~~oOo~~

.

Finally, he removed his teeth and lapped at the bleeding bite mark. They fell on the bed in a tangled heap of limbs. He gently turned her around until she was lying beneath him, looking up into his eyes. Time was meaningless. They only felt pure unadulterated bliss, bodies moving in tandem, minds floating, spinning, flying.

At the end, a final orgasm erupted out of both of them, and then it was complete peaceful silence when they gave in the exhaustion and fell asleep in each other's arms.

She was his, he had marked his mate...

.

~~oOo~~

.

Something was tickling his nose.

A soft, feather-like and barely there touch tickled at his cheek.

Lifting a hand, still heavy with sleep, he tried to brush it away, but ended up swatting at air.

The tickling stopped.

Only to return again.

Something, amazingly soft, brushed across his chest.

Jacob woke up a little more. Unwilling. He'd had the nicest of dreams.

It had been so peaceful, so serene. For once, he had felt no worries, no pressure, no hurt.

He lingered on that thought. Any remaining feelings of pain, resentment or anger over Bella leaving him had diminished to non-existent. He wanted to wallow in that peace just a little longer and enjoy his dream when he heard a familiar giggle right above him.

As he allowed himself to be a little more alert, he heard a heartbeat next to his own, steady and strong and so very treasured. He reached out groggily, his hand finding soft skin and the feminine dip of a slim waist. The other heartbeat changed pattern, speeding up when he followed the downward curve that led to an alluring hip with the nicest ass attached to it. The corners of his mouth curled into a smile. It came easily and right from the bottom of his heart.

His eyes finally opened lazily, and his own heart sped up just a little, as the memory of last night began to slowly filter through his sleep-induced brain. "Hmmm..." he groaned contentedly while the last details about last night completely filled his awareness and another giggle along with a slight tickle on his ribs did the job.

He was wide-awake now, and in one swift movement he had her turned on her back and peppered her face with loving kisses.

She looked a little different, he decided then, when he looked in her eyes. She looked more beautiful than ever. She was his forever and he could hardly believe it.

"Are you doing okay?" he asked and was slightly amused when only one single tiny hum of contentment came out of her throat. He had to smile at that. God, he loved his mate.

Gently, his fingers moved toward her neck, touching the rim of his mark.

She shivered when he did that.

"Does it hurt, Bells?" he inquired ever so softly.

"No, not at all. It tingles a little and feels kind of warm. It feels like it's supposed to be there all along. It feels right," she told him looking at him with eyes glowing with happiness.

First, he kissed her deeply. Then, he tilted her head to the side, so he could have a better look at his mark as it was partially hidden by her hair. He wondered what it would look like, was curious, excited, almost impatient. On the other hand, his wolf contently waited for him to reveal it. The wolf felt content, proud and docile. He would wallow in his pride for a while; Jake knew that.

"Let me see, baby," he asked gently. He needed to make sure it was healing right and he simply wanted to allow his wolf to see his work.

She obliged immediately, a proud smile spreading all across her face.

For a second, he was at a loss of words when he saw his mark.

The mark looked beautiful, and to his surprise her skin was already well into the healing phase. Had he given her some of his healing abilities when he'd bitten her? He could clearly see the indentations that his teeth had made, a crescent-shaped set of scars that sat on the front and the back in the crook of her left shoulder. The mark was slightly raised above her skin surface, only a moderate inflammation on the outer edges still remained where the healing process wasn't completed yet.

Running his nose gently across her skin, he deeply inhaled, searching for any signs of infection, just in case, but thankfully found none. What he found though was his scent implanted permanently into her skin and that was thrilling to him and to the wolf.

"I like it," he said huskily, staring at his mark proudly. Seeing it soothed that primal desire in him that had been so urgent until last night. "I like it very much!"

He kissed his mark softly. It was much warmer than the rest of her skin, close to his own body temperature, and he guessed that this was how it was supposed to be. His wolf retreated in complete bliss and happiness, curling up inside him with a satisfied growl.

She sighed as his lips brushed over the mark. Goosebumps broke out all over her skin. "Jake…" she whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck. "That feels so good…"

He explored the mark some more with the most tender of kisses and brushes, until she begged him for more. He returned to her lips and kissed her deeply and passionately until their bodies joined once more.

Their lovemaking was slow and gentle. They were savoring each other, noticing every soft breath, every blink of an eye and every soft sigh. They couldn't stop kissing after they both reached their peak together, but eventually their stomachs growled ravenously. They started to laugh out loud in unison.

"Well, I better get us some food." Bella laughed at him as she tried to move out of the bed. "Before we scare all the animals out there in the forest."

He quickly wrapped his arm around her waist to stop her.

"Jake!" She laughed again. "Don't you want to eat?" She easily gave in and leaned back down to welcome his puckered lips into a sensuous and very long kiss.

More stomach growling effectively made them realize that they were better off eating first, before carrying on with lovemaking.

This time he did not stop her from getting out of bed.

Bella walked towards the kitchen area, wrapping the bed sheet around her while walking. Seeing that the kitchen shelf was empty, she asked him with a twinkle in her eyes, do you even have any food here? Or are we going to be starving?"

"There is only one way to find out," he teased her as he got up and pulled her into his arms.

They couldn't help themselves, nor did they want too. They needed the contact. Their laughter was easy and their kisses generous.

"I think we are taken care off, Bells," Jake said, guiding her towards the front door. "Come and see."

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~~o0o~~

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A short time later, they were devouring the delicious food Leah had prepared and Sam had dropped off in the wee hours of the morning in a basket. He had simply left it on the front porch, not wanting to disturb the happy couple.

The basket revealed carefully prepared food, clearly a very thought through meal, made with love. Everything tasted very delicious, and both of them devoured the tons of ham sandwiches, cold chicken breast sandwiches, deviled eggs, fruit salad, cookies, crackers, two bags of Jacob's favorite potato chips as well as two of Bella's favorite chocolate bars.

Leave it to Leah to take care of them. "Hmmmm, this fruit salad is the best ever. Leah is such a great friend, Jake."

When Bella pulled out one last container with cookies, she found a small red box nestled into the corner of the basket.

"Oh, look, Bells. Yuma's animal crackers," Jacob said, reaching for the treat.

"Leah must have forgotten to take it out..." Bella mused, but Jacob shook his head, a wide grin splitting his face.

He sniffed at the bag and with a proud smile told her, "Yuma has put it in here himself. Now that's my son!"

Jacob ripped open the box and started to devour one cracker after the other. "Damn… I love those…" he spoke with his mouth full, sending crumbs flying everywhere.

Bella had to laugh at him. He looked so carefree and not ashamed at all at his behavior. "Hey! You can't have all of it. You gotta share, Jake!" She reached for the bag, trying to wrestle it out of his hand, still laughing while doing so. She didn't really care for those crackers, but having such carefree fun with Jake without a care or worry in the world was very exciting.

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~oOo~

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The day had come and gone. After breakfast, they had shared a shower, neither one of them minding the tiny shower stall, since they had basically never stopped touching each other anyway.

After a couple more love-making sessions, they eventually sat on the ancient, threadbare couch, wrapped up in each other.

"That's it, Bells," he said with a huge smug smile plastered on his face. His voice was husky, just the way Bella liked it best. His fingertips danced over her bare hips. "We're basically married now."

"I know," she responded with a dreamy smile, listening mesmerized as Jacob explained to her once more what it meant for the tribe and the council that he had made her his mate. "You are not only very important to me, but to the whole tribe."

She let it sink in for a little while and only looked at him in wonder. She knew the legends by heart, had been aware of what it would mean to him, to the pack and to the tribe when she was mated to the Alpha. Hearing it again-here in his arms, from his lips, carrying his mark-it was a different thing altogether. Only now, she could really grasp the importance of being the Alpha's mate. She would do whatever it would take to please and support Jacob, to satisfy the needs of the tribe, to be there for Yuma and the whole pack. This was her dream. She would be making the very best out of this second chance that she had received.

"Holy Cow!" she cried out suddenly, but stopped short and slapped her hand over her mouth. "This is going to be wonderful, Jake. I will be in Yuma's life every day."

"That you will be. Yuma will be a proud big brother one day," he stated with a happy gleam in his eyes.

With a wide grin, she started mapping out plans in her head.

The prospect of a, future with Jake and maybe a baby or two was making her feel giddy.

They would have a real wedding, but it would be a much different wedding than she previously had. She had absolutely disliked all the over the top stuff which Alice had insisted she needed to have.

Nope, not this time! They would have a wedding they both were going to create after their very own liking-most likely a beach wedding, which she always wanted to have.

Maybe they could even have a small honeymoon if it wouldn't collide with his Alpha duties.

They could have Yuma over every other day. She'd love the prospect to be able to live a normal human life, with ups and downs, fights and making up and finally a baby not too far down the road.

"Penny for your thoughts, honey…" Jacob whispered into her ear, placing a sensual kiss on his mark.

Bella shivered as his kiss ignited her body all over again. "I was just thinking… about our future..." She sighed when he suckled slightly on his mark. It was now completely healed and she loved the way it looked. It was clearly a bite mark, and anyone who would ever come close enough would be able to tell, but the way it curved around the crook of her neck it looked as if it had always been there. It belonged to her body now, and she was so proud of it.

The mark was so very sensitive, too, and every time Jacob ran his fingertips across his mark or kissed and licked it, she wanted to welcome him back inside her in an instant. It was as if he had created a new erogenous zone on her body.

Reacting to her sigh and the way she clung to him, Jacob pulled her into his lap.

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~oOo~

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Another night and almost an entire day had gone by with them making love, talking and enjoying each other's company. Now Bella was lying on the bed, wondering what Jacob did out there.

She had been banned to the tiny bedroom 30 minutes ago. Jacob had insisted that she had to wait in here while he busied himself in the front room.

At some point, the door opened and he flung a bag into the room. "Leah packed you something. Before you ask, I don't know what's in it. I'm not allowed to have a look." He smirked at her before closing the door behind him.

Curiously, Bella peeked into the bag and found it full with her own clothes. She turned the bag around, shaking its content out of it. A couple of her dresses, some lingerie and a pair of clean pants and two shirts fell onto the bed. Also a note, which read: "I thought you might want to dress up for tonight. Love. Leah. P.S. I figured you'd want to wear some clean clothes on your trip home."

"So Leah knows something which I don't know?" Bella called out, while her curiosity was spiking to an all-time high about what Jacob was doing out there.

Jacob laughed. "Maybe…"

Bella decided to just go with it and looked at the two dress choices Leah had packed for her. The dress she decided on wearing was a black, soft knit scoop-neck dress with a form-fitting silhouette and it was one of her favorites, because it was comfortable to wear and still had that special something.

Then she pulled on the lacy black bra and panties she was planning on wearing underneath her dress. She was going to look her best for Jacob. She combed through her hair with her hands as good as she could manage as her hairbrush was in the bathroom on the other side of the cabin. After that, she was ready for whatever Jacob had planned for tonight.

She heard him whistle and occasionally, he called out to her that she better not be peeking. She just had to giggle; he was so cute.

"How much longer do I need to wait, Jake? It's been so long already?" she finally called, bored out of her mind and now also vibrating with nervous energy.

There was nothing to occupy herself with in this cabin, no books, no TV... Plus, she was so curious what he was up to. She would not be able to contain herself for much longer but then he stood there in the doorframe, filling it completely with his impressive stature.

"Okay, you can come in now." He smiled widely at her, his eyes widening at her transformation. "Wow, Bells, you look stunning. I may just keep you in this bedroom for a while longer." He winked at her, as he held his hand out to her.

Quickly, she got up and took his hand. "Oh, no, you won't! I am dying to see what you have done out there. So show me now." She laughed at him.

"You are so beautiful," he said again as he took her into his arms and kissed her deeply, effectively hushing her as soon as she tried to speak.

"I have a surprise for you," he said as soon as he released her lips. "And I want to do this right... uhm...come see for yourself."

He led her to the other room of the cabin. It was lit with soft scented candles everywhere. A small table in the center of the room was decorated with a white cloth, rustic looking dried flowers, and bundles of herbs in several small woven baskets.

There were also two place settings, and a platter of strawberries dipped in chocolate, pineapples and melons, cut in bite size pieces and a golden brown roasted chicken in the center.

Her mouth gaped open; she could not believe her eyes. "Where...where did you get this stuff from, Jake? This is so... beautiful, I…."

She stopped talking as Jacob kissed her sweetly on the forehead, then she watched him in stunned silence as he lowered himself slowly down to his knees, not one but both of them. He was now kneeling on an ancient looking leather rug with tribal ornaments painted on it. The rug was also sprinkled with more of these strange looking herbs.

Her heart started to pound excitedly in her chest and her eyes blurred with happy tears, as soon as she realized what he had planned.

He pulled a small leather pouch out of his front Jeans pocket and opened the cord with trembling fingers. He reached inside the pouch and proudly presented her a delicate white gold ring with a shiny deep-blue stone in its center that was shaped like a star. He picked it up and proudly held it up between two fingers.

A single tear escaped and rolled down her cheek and when she looked into his eyes, she saw his own tears glistening in the candlelight. He didn't even bother to hide them.

"Bella Swan, you are my soulmate... my heart and soul... and the blood that runs through my veins... I'm not complete without you... My life holds no meaning... when you're not in it..."

Jacob took a moment to compose himself as he felt his emotions pour out of his eyes and heart and he was afraid that the words he had planned next would not come out the way he wanted to speak them.

"Bells..., will you give me the honor... and become my wife?... Will you be the mother of our future children?

You're like a second mom to Yuma already..." He ended his speech looking at her with humble eyes.

Tears flowing freely now on both of their faces, when she lowered herself onto both of her knees, joining him on the leather rug.

Without hesitation, Bella took his face in both of her hands and spoke the one single word he had been wanting to hear for so long; "Yes!"

She smiled at him as she gave him her promise. "Yes, I will marry you and spend all of eternity with you. Jacob Black, I love you so much!"

She held out her hand and he put the ring onto her finger.

Their lips found each other, communicating where words just couldn't express what was in their hearts.

Their kiss tasted salty from their tears and laden with the promise of a happy future and as their tongues danced, they heard wolves howl in the distance.

.

~~o0o ~~

.

The next morning, Jacob asked her to come with him. He said he needed to be outside and feel the nature around him. Bella quickly dressed in her jeans and her shirt. It was brisk outside, but with him close to her, she would never be cold.

As soon as they stepped outside and his bare feet touched the ground, Bella watched him with interest as he heaved a deep sigh.

Since the merging with his wolf, his feelings and behavior were an odd mix between the clarity and intelligence of the man and the need to react on the wolf's primal instincts and gut feelings. They were one now, stronger, complete, and finally feeling content.

Bella found that she liked it. She also found his slightly changed eye color with the golden flecks in his pupils breathtaking.

Jacob took her for a walk, showing her around this area, which had been his sanctuary, and hiding spot whenever things just got too much and he needed to get away from everything-from his pack, his family, even from himself and his own pain.

He could talk to her about it freely now, and she could listen without feeling guilty.

When they finally returned to the cabin, they both wanted to stay outside as the sun was still shining warm and brightly upon them.

They sat down next to a fire pit that was located on the left side of the cabin, after Jacob had rushed inside and came back with a woolen blanket where they stretched out on top of it.

They snuggled close and Bella had her head on Jake's chest, listening to his strong and steady heartbeat while they were talking about about their upcoming wedding, feeling more happy than either one had thought possible.

They had both agreed not to wait very long. They were looking for a simple wedding down at First Beach in a couple more months.

Eventually they dozed off. They hadn't gotten much sleep lately, especially last night after his proposal, their luxurious dinner and a night filled with love making and promises of a lifetime of happiness.

Bella woke up when she felt his eyes resting on her.

"Hey, sleepy head..." he whispered softly and gently kissed the crown of her head.

Bella stretched lazily and snuggled deeper into his chest. She smiled and kissed him over his heart. "I love you."

"I love you more." He grinned at her roguishly.

Bella turned onto her back, smiling brightly as she remembered the beautiful ring he had put on her left hand. Stretching her arm out in front of her, she looked at the ring very carefully. It was beautiful in its simplicity. It fit and felt perfect on her hand. She never wanted to take it off. Ever.

A sunbeam covered her in warm light. It spread all over her body and when it reflected off her wrist, making it sparkle, she huffed, frustrated. She wanted to hide it from Jacob, from her own eyes, but then she looked at it again. And again. And a third time. And couldn't believe her own eyes.

"Don't, honey," he said, closing his big hand around her wrist. "Don't let it bother you. It's part of your story... just like my scar is part of mine..."

"I know, but... Jake, this isn't what I-" She wriggled in his hold, wanting to see that scar again. If her eyes hadn't failed her, the scar noticeably had become less visible. "Just… look..."

"Look at what, Bells?" He asked distractedly, peppering her knuckles with gentle kisses.

"My wrist... the scar seems to be fading."

"What?" Jacob opened his hold on her arm and looked at her wrist closely. He sniffed at it and slightly traced it with his fingers. "I can barely smell it anymore and it's less cold..." he stated, surprise lacing his voice and something that sounded very much like deep male satisfaction.

Seeing the fading scar, thrilled Bella. She was sure that Jacob's bite must have transferred some of his healing abilities to her and made the nasty Vampire scar fade away.

Would the scar disappear completely eventually? She wondered.

Before she had even thought it through all the way, she knew what she wanted him to do again.

She smiled a slow, sexy smile that made his stomach clench and his cock harden.

"Mark me again," she said. "I want this scar gone."

She had looked strong and confident when she spoke those words. The part of Jacob that was his wolf woke with burning need, and the man felt very proud of how strong of a woman she had become. Her demand went straight to his groin.

"Bella," Jacob growled and pulled her under his body in one swift move. He hungrily descended on her lips, letting one hand glide down her body heatedly, and settle on her hips. With the other, he pulled the fabric of her shirt down her shoulder to expose his mark. His lips trailed down her neck until he had reached his mark. He licked across it and slightly bit down.

Her back arched and she moaned as her body instantly reacted to him. She buried her hands in his hair, holding him close.

He tugged at her jeans impatiently, and the fabric gave way to his strength. "I'll buy you a new pair," he said unapologetically, his voice nothing more but a deep rumbling growl. Her panties were next, her shirt followed, then he snapped her bra.

Bella loved every second of his unrestrained urgency, commenting on each particle of clothing that he ripped off of her with an enthusiastic yes and a corresponding groan. She wanted him so much, and she wanted him right now.

Rolling her hips, she begged him. "I need you, Jake. Now!"

Gliding through her glistening folds with a gentle finger, he found her beyond wet and more than ready for him. He slipped that finger inside her, and she bucked against him impatiently, searching for friction, needing more of him than just his fingers.

He unzipped his pants with his other hand and shoved it down just so until his straining erection sprang free.

She licked her lips watching him.

He pushed her knees open roughly, driven by the same craving need she felt and plunged into her deeply. He stilled with a deep, guttural groan when he was fully seated inside of her. He would never get used to this, to her, to their lovemaking.

Her walls spasmed around him. Her pussy was so hot, tight and oh so soft. This, this right here, was pure heaven.

She wrapped her arms and legs around him and held him tightly to her.

He pulled out of her and slammed back in. She moaned as he picked up speed, as he went deeper and faster. Curling his back, he captured her nipple, biting it slightly, and making her cry out in pleasure.

She raked her nails across his back, as her body shook with the force of his thrusts and the pleasure he was giving her. She relished hearing his feral grunts as he moved above her, climbing higher with each of his animalistic growls and unrestrained movements. She felt herself losing it already simply by the sensation of his thick cock dragging against the sensitive spots inside her pussy and his tongue sweeping across her nipple.

Just when she thought, she was about to climax, he sat back on his heels and pulled her up with him, surprising her initially, but then she saw the strong need in his eyes. The wolf needed to dominate this situation right now, needed to show her that it was him she belonged to.

She was not going to object, in fact, it turned her on and she welcomed all of what he was going to give her.

He pulled her arms behind her back, holding them together with one hand, while he stabilized her on top of him with the other. The position made her back arch and her breasts push upward. Her internal muscles locked around him. Her skin glistened with a thin sheen of sweat; she had never looked more enticing to him.

Jacob lifted his pelvis and with a sharp thrust, shoved his cock back into her as deep as it would go.

She writhed on top of him, her eyes rolling back. "Oooooh, yessss…." she groaned.

"You love it when I fuck you, honey," he stated with a deep growl, punctuating each word with a firm thrust.

Her answer was a throaty whimper in agreement. She was delirious with need. He had her immobilized on his cock and with his hands. All she could do was take his thrusts into her willing body. It turned her on beyond anything that she was entirely at his mercy now.

As if she had said it out loud, he ground out, "Yes, that's it. Fuck, YES!"

She could hear the wolf in his voice as he pumped into her without pause. She opened her eyes to look at him. His wolf looked back at her, curiously watching her reaction. His muscles were bulging and straining with power as his slim hips pistoned into her.

She gasped, her muscles locked around him. Arching her back, she welcomed his deep thrusts. His arms wrapped around her, bringing her close to him, bringing her face into his chest.

The need to come was too strong now; he wouldn't be able to hold out much longer. His world narrowed down to her moans, to the heavy scent of her arousal, and to her tight body clenching around him.

"Come, Bella," he growled, grinding his hips into her. It brought just the right pressure on her clit and she fell apart.

She spiraled out of control as pleasure overtook her. Waves of bliss made her shudder on top of him. He smelled so good. Jacob smelled so damn good, and his slick, smooth skin was right before her. And she needed to… She had to…

Overwhelmed by a sudden desire, she let herself completely go and followed the powerful sensation that guided her. She sank her teeth into his pectoral muscle and placed a mark of her own on him right over his heart.

He roared as he felt her teeth break his skin. "YES!" He bucked into her so hard, he almost threw her off and she had to let go.

She looked feral. Her hair was a tangled mess as she rode out her bliss on his cock. He smelled and saw his blood on her lips as her head fell back.

The mark she had left on him tingled, sending shockwaves of pleasure through his body. The realization that she had bitten him...marked him as hers... made him feel ecstatic. He knew for certain that he would be hers for all of time and she would be his. They had truly unified and became one! The wolf glowed with excitement and had a plan.

When he reached his peak, he saw stars. He pushed into her for the final time, burying himself as deep as he could when he simultaneously bend down to her chest, and sank his teeth into her soft breast.

The wolf marked her on the exact same spot, mirroring the mark she had placed on him. It was only right that they both shared the same markings of their eternal love.

Satisfied with his accomplishments, the wolf retreated and wallowed in his bliss deep within the man.

Gently Jacob laid her back down on the wool blanket and softly wiped the sweat of her forehead with the back of his hand, then kissed her gently on the eyes, slowly moving down to her nose and lips when he whispered, "I love you so much Bells".

.

~oOo~

.

Jacob pulled away from her too fast for her liking.

He sat up and grabbed a handful ash from the old fire pit. He rubbed the ash into his skin, right into the quick healing wound.

"What are you doing, Jake?" She called out in concern. "You're giving yourself an infection…"

He shook his head. "No, I won't," he said confidently, and explained further, "This way your mark will stay, just like my mark on your body honey. This is one wound I really want to keep a permanent scar from."

With care, he applied a thin layer of the ashes to his wound, and with amazement, they watched as it closed and because of the ash, the indentations her teeth had left on his skin remained visible.

Her new mark took a whole lot longer to heal than his, but it would stay and they watched the process with fascination throughout the day.

With impatient attention, they also waited for any progress that her vampire bite scar would disappear. However, nothing changed. The scar kept its remaining cold feel and slightly sparkling look.

The next morning, it was time to leave the cabin and to return home to their family and the pack.

Bella felt somewhat discouraged as she once again stared at her scar, willing it to disappear. She had so wanted it to go away.

Jacob took her in his arms and kissed her. "We need to give it more time, Bells. It took a couple of days after the first mark until this scar looked like this," he reasoned.

"You're right," she murmured, but couldn't hide the slight disappointment in her voice.

While they were packing up everything from their stay, a burst of heat suddenly surged through her body. It started out in her heart, went through her chest and stomach and then spread to her limbs until concentrating in her right wrist. She fell to her knees, panting hard, cradling her arm against her chest.

"Bella? Bella, what's wrong?" Jacob shouted, terrified, as she obviously was in pain and fell down to his knees beside her.

"I don't know, Jake," she answered, clenching her teeth against the pain. "It burns…It's almost as bad as when he bit me, Jake." She looked up at him. Her eyes were huge. She was scared. What was going on?

He pulled her into his lap. "Let me see!" he ordered frantically, just shy of phasing and racing her home on his back and seek out any help he might get. He took her arm to have a look at it.

"Shit, Bells. This looks horrible…" Jacob was petrified at what he saw. The scar was angry-red and swollen. The smell of venom suddenly was overwhelming. Something that very much reminded him of mercury tendrils seemed to be moving underneath her delicate skin.

Both he and his wolf started to respond. His muscles began to vibrate and shake. The need to phase and fight the threat was so ingrained it had become instinctive, but Bella was with them. It would kill her and so they kept a tight lock on the need to burst out of their skin.

The strange thing was, just a few seconds into watching her struggle, his wolf started to calm down and eventually, he confidently advised Jacob to be patient, and watch and see.

Jacob's emotions went haywire as he fought against his intellect and battled down every rational thought that told him to grab Bella and run. He was terrified that something had gone wrong after the second mark, that it was too much for her body to bear. What if she died on him? There were tears running down his face as he pressed Bella against his body, gently rocked her and stroked her hair.

The wolf kept demanding that he trusted him.

She was so pale, her heart was thundering, she grit her teeth so hard. She is strong; she wants this scar gone. You have to trust, his wolf growled, and showed him that his blood was fighting against the remaining venom in her body, and that the venom stood no chance against the ancient Quileute magic.

Knowing this, helped Jacob to become calm and composed. He reached out to his wolf, siphoning off his strength and confidence, until he felt the same strength and confidence. Now that he knew exactly what was happening to her body, it was easier for him to withstand the strain Bella's suffering put on him. He hated to see her in pain regardless. Gently, he cradled her in his arms and in a soothing voice calmly explained to her what was happening and that his magic was much stronger than any vampire ever would be.

With Jacob's touch, Bella felt the burning sensation leave her body and she sagged against him in relief.

Her skin was clammy with perspiration, she was trembling in his arms, but that god-awful venomous smell disappeared, and before his eyes, the tendrils folded up in themselves and dissolved. Slowly, the redness faded away, then the swelling receded and at last, the scar tissue vanished completely.

.  
~oOo~

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**A/N: We hope you enjoyed this chapter :-)**

**Your thoughts and comments are welcome as always!**

**As Hostage is winding down at last...we are curious as to what would you guys like to see happening still? We would love to get your input on this. We already are working on the next chapter and have our own thoughts, but would love to hear yours as well. Hugs guys!**

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	28. Chapter 28 - Kiss Me

**Hostage of Love**

**Chapter 27**

**Kiss Me**

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**Song to go with this chapter:** **Ed Sheeran, Kiss Me**

**.**

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**.**

**A/N: Welcome back, dear readers, to another chapter of our story. We did some research on Native American wedding traditions and ceremonies, so we would know how it is different from a traditional American, or in our case, German wedding. However, we still made lots of things up so it would fit better with our story while still trying to respect the Quileute Nation and their traditions.**

**Again, our thanks go to Misty and Dani for helping us fix any mistakes and errors. We 3 you.**

_._

_~oOo~_

_._

_Her skin was clammy with perspiration, she was trembling in his arms, but that god-awful venomous smell disappeared, and before his eyes, the tendrils folded up in themselves and dissolved. Slowly, the redness faded away, then the swelling receded and at last, the scar tissue vanished completely._

They arrived at Jacob's house around noon, after he had called his father from his cell phone while they were still at the cabin. Jacob felt it was important to let the Council know about the marking personally and he wanted to share what had happened to Bella and the disappearing of Bella's old scars.

They both wanted to tell their fathers about their engagement right away, but right now they only wanted to be present when Yuma woke up from his nap. They hurried over to Sam and Leah's place and Bella busied herself baking several batches of chocolate chip cookies for all of them.

Yuma was still sound asleep but she knew that he would wake at any moment.

Leah and Sam had embraced them both when they turned up at their place. They had laughed and kissed them on their cheeks, while Jake and Bella had thanked Leah for her thoughtfulness by packing some of Bella's outfits and Sam for delivering the delicious food, which they both had treasured and appreciated.

Leah admired the ring on Bella's hand and inspected her wrist, noticing at once that the smell and scar had been erased.

"Damn... Good job, Black. She is all cleansed and smells just like you! Who knew that you are that resourceful?" She laughed at him, feeling completely astonished and proud of her Alpha.

Everyone felt happy and for once all of their futures seemed bright and full of hope and promises. In the late afternoon, they went back to Jacob's house.

Jacob disappeared, claiming with a secretive smile that he had something important to take care off. Bella took a long nice bubble bath and retired to the bedroom with one of her favorite books and a cup of tea.

She fell asleep before Jacob returned.

.

~~o0o~~

.

In the meantime, Jacob went to go see Charlie and asked for his approval to marry Bella. As soon as Jacob started to explain to Charlie that they actually were already married in the eyes of the tribe due to the claiming and marking, Charlie coughed out in embarrassment.

"If this is about what I think it is… No father wants to know about his baby girl being… ahem… claimed and… uhm… marked." Charlie intently looked everywhere but at Jacob. Eventually, he composed himself and sternly said, "I only need to know that Bella will be loved and treasured for the rest of her life and that you will stick to your promises, son!"

They shook hands and did that manly hand slaps shoulder thing. Jacob left to talk to his father.

.

~~o0o~~

.

The next morning, Jacob woke her up with tender kisses and a hearty breakfast.

"We are expected to be at the Council Hall tonight," he told her while they were having breakfast. "I'm going to officially introduce you to them as my mate."

Bella smiled at him, feeling her stomach flip upside down. As Jacob had explained to her while they were still in the cabin, this meeting would be the second part of becoming Jacob's wife.

First part had been the actual claiming and marking. Second was the traditional claiming speech in front of the pack and the council. Third would be the _modern (_for the lack of a better word) wedding to make everything legal before the state and authorities. It was also the one ceremony where all of their friends and family would be able to attend since the Claiming speech would be a secret affair with only the Pack and their imprints, the Council and, by way of exception, Charlie Swan witnessing the act.

Jacob stayed at home with her the whole day and they talked about the ceremony and what was about to come their way. They both were aware that their union would be questioned due to their turbulent past, but they agreed that all of the Council members actually were happy for them and that the questioning was more or less only a formality.

Later that day, they took a shower together and then got dressed.

Bella put her hair into a thick loose side braid.

Jacob slipped into a pair of buckskin pants and a fringed vest that hugged his muscular form perfectly. The vest fell open and Bella had a clear view of his bulging pectorals and her mark sitting right above his heart. She also shamelessly ogled his ripped stomach.

He tied a 3 strands leather armband with bone and horn beads around his biceps right underneath his tribal tattoo to make it stand out perfectly. Knotted onto the armband were several carved wooden wolves, each unique in its color. Bella counted ten wooden figurines and realized that he had the wooden wolves stand for each of his pack members, including himself.

"You done, honey?" he asked when he was dressed and ready.

She nodded, staring at him with fascination. She loved how he held himself so confident and it was clear to her, that he was very comfortable in his Quileute regalia.

"How do I look?" Bella felt a little insecure since it was the first time she ever wore this kind of clothing.

Jacob had given her a traditional Quileute buckskin dress which had once belonged to his mother and had been handmade by Sarah's grandmother. The dress was beautifully designed with intricate black and red beadwork, long fringe and beaded buckskin tails. Traditional Quileute ornaments such as the wolf, the raven and the whale were painted onto the white leather.

The dress was a little too big on her. It went until her knees and was very loose around her waist and hips.

"Wait up," Jacob said to her and went to search through a trunk in his hall way. He returned with a beaded belt in his hands which he slung around her waist. He also held out a pair of leather moccasins for her to slip her feet in. They fit her perfectly. "They were Becca's. She only wore them once at a powwow."

Jacob stepped back to look at her. His heart was racing, she looked so beautiful. "Now it's perfect, Bells. You look great."

He took her hand and they walked to the Council Hall. Jacob's sister Rachel waited outside. She was also dressed in a suede dress which looked similar to Bella's. In her hands she held two loops that seemed to be made from some natural material. She handed one loop to Jake with a smirk. "Don't screw it up, baby brother."

"Never again," Jacob answered with a similar smile. "Thank you for making these…"

Jacob turned towards Bella. "These are woven cedar bark headbands," he said as he put the headband onto Bella's head. It was a perfect fit. "Rachel made them for us as she's my only female relative living on the Rez. Normally, my mother would have woven these for us. The headbands symbolize strength, determination and loyalty but also, like wedding bands, eternity, wholeness, perfection, unity and never ending love."

"Oh." Bella gingerly touched her headband and tearing her eyes away from Jacob, she said to his sister, "Thank you, Rachel. This is perfect." She felt tears threaten to fall from her eyes. She was so touched by the gesture and the meaning.

"Don't you cry, girl," Rachel said and gave her the other headband. "You have to put the other onto Jake's thick skull."

Jacob dropped to his knees and with trembling hands, Bella placed the headband on his head. "Love, eternity and devotion…" she whispered and kissed him tenderly.

"Strength, perfection, wholeness," he answered and when he got up he took her hand and led her inside.

The Council Elders were seated in a half circle with Charlie next to Billy. All but Charlie wore their black and red Quileute regalia with the typical button blankets around their shoulders and hand woven hats upon their heads. The imprints, Kim and Rachel, and Embry's girlfriend Julie stood next to their wolves that were lined up to the left and the right before the Council.

As soon as Bella and Jacob stopped in front of the council the pack closed the line so that a circle formed around the pair.

"Jacob Ephraim Black, Alpha of the La Push Wolf Pack, you summoned us to inform us of your union with Isabella Swan," Billy Black said, opening the ceremony with his sonorous voice and speaking in his position as the Tribal Chief and not as Jacob's father. "But before you speak let me ask you a question."

Jacob stepped forward, letting go of Bella's hand but not before giving it a reassuring squeeze.

Billy squinted his eyes, looking at Jacob sternly. "Considering your actions in the past when you had claimed Alpha but still put your own interests before the interests of the pack and the tribe, when you succumbed to alcohol, put yourself in danger and neglected your duties as the Alpha and as a father, when you forgot about all of your responsibilities and all because of this woman..." He pointed at Bella, looking at her with a deep frown. "Why should the Council approve of a union between you and her?"

Jacob straightened up to his full height. He was prepared for these kind of questions and he had prepared Bella as well. He could feel her behind him, encouraging him simply because of her silent presence.

He said, "Bella and I share a special bond. Even as kids we did not do well being separated. When Bella returned to Forks, Edward Cullen lured her in. You all know what happened then."

He took a deep breath, but like he had noticed before, talking about that time didn't hurt or infuriate him any longer. He really felt at peace now that he knew he had Bella by his side forever. "Being apart from her made me feel weak and angry. I fought my wolf who constantly wanted to go after her. He knew she was the one, and I fought him, trying to deny my bond with Bella. But defying the wolf over and over again, led to disunity with my wolf. A warrior cannot constantly fight his wolf without losing part of himself."

Jacob made eye contact with every single Tribal Elder sitting before him and found that they were all looking back at him with understanding eyes. He continued, "I regret my actions, but I've learned from my mistakes. I am working hard at being a good father and a strong, reliable Alpha. I am at peace with my wolf. We are one now."

Jacob turned around and took Bella's hand. He made her step forward so that she stood by his side. "I present to you my, **_our,_** chosen mate. Bella has accepted me and the wolf. We claimed her and she now carries our mark." Jacob's voice boomed through the hall as all eyes rested upon them. "I will protect her with my life. I will provide for her and our future family. My heart and devotion lies in her hands. She is the Alpha's mate."

The elders were silently watching them with stoic faces. Only his father smiled at him encouragingly and with pride. He could hear every heartbeat, every inhale and every exhale. He felt Bella's hand hold onto him tightly. Her heart fluttered nervously when Sue Clearwater finally addressed her.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I'm sure you understand that your choices in the past and the _persons_ you associated yourself with are in no way acceptable for the Alpha's mate. Dangerous consequences may or may not result from that former liaison. However, we are informed that the Alpha and his pack are willing to deal with those consequences should the need arise."

Biting her lip, Bella nodded her head in acknowledgement. She gripped Jacob's hand tighter, reaching out for his support. She was all too aware that said possible consequences were the one big, unresolved issue hanging over all of their heads like the sword of Damocles. They didn't know whether or not the Volturi would come looking for her, but she refused - and Jacob agreed in this - to let the fear of this possible threat rule her life any longer.

Charlie shifted in his seat uneasily and his gaze darkened. Bella's eyes darted over to him and she glanced at him apologetically before concentrating back on Sue. Guess, she had to tell him a couple more things she had kept from him until now.

"You wear Sarah Black's dress today and we take it as your acceptance of your mate's heritage and way of life," Sue continued. "Thus, we expect you to raise any children that will come from your union carrying out the Quileute culture and traditions."

Sue paused, and Bella spoke up instantly, "Of course. When I chose to become the Alpha's Mate I chose to support Jacob, the tribe and the pack in every way possible. That includes raising our children learning the folklore and legends. I wouldn't want it any other way."

She looked up, smiling at Jacob. She was so in love with him and talking about future children made her feel butterflies in her stomach.

"One last thing, before we can move forward to the ceremony part, Bella," Sue said, pulling her back into their conversation. "We all know you dearly love Yuma, son of Leah and Jacob. While normally, having a child from an earlier relationship should never cause any trouble, you need to be aware that Yuma will be the next in line after Jacob to become Chief and should Yuma phase one day also to become the future Alpha, simply by being the first born son of the current Alpha. It's an ancient and archaic Tribal Law, but it's the way of our people and you must abide by it when the time comes."

Again, Bella acknowledged Sue's claim with a head nod. She had thought about this long and hard and also discussed it with Jacob, Leah and Sam and they all shared the same opinion on that matter. So she said, "I would never think about not accepting Yuma's calling. If Yuma is meant to be Alpha then he will be. Yes, Yuma is Jacob's first born son, and it so happen. Regardless how many future children Jacob and I will have, Yuma is **my** son, too. I love him deeply and always will. Yuma is very lucky to have four strong and loving parents. I will always honor and support him, the pack and the Quileute heritage." Bella held her head up high and felt proud of herself for the confidence and strength she knew she displayed loud and clear with her firm declaration.

It was so quiet in the room you could hear a pin drop. She looked around, feeling Jacob's thumb rub reassuringly over the delicate skin of her wrist. Leah gave her an approving smirk as did Sam.

The elders were looking at her, acknowledging her statement.

They saw in her eyes what they were looking for. Strength, determination, and pride. They knew their Alpha needed a strong mate and Bella seemed to be the perfect mate for their Alpha.

Then, Old Quil cleared his throat. "These are strong words, Isabella, and it proves to us that you are truly a worthy mate to our Alpha. If we all agree, I believe it is time to move to the ceremony part."

"Now, Bella, stake your claim so that this inquisition will finally come to an end," Leah murmured loud enough for all to hear in her usual flippant way.

Bella heard several chuckles come from the pack.

Billy raised an eyebrow, but couldn't hide the smirk forming on his face. "Leah's right. I assume all issues are now covered and adequately acknowledged. I, for my part, have nothing more to add. So if the other Council members agree, you may say your piece, Bella."

When they all nodded approvingly, Bella took a deep breath. She could feel the tension slip from her shoulders. Grasping Jacob's hand tightly, she said, "I accept our mating bond and I proudly carry Jacob's mark. I will always stand by his side, loyal and strong, providing him with my love and trust. I am his mate as he is mine."

"Also, something happened after Jake... marked... me," she added and blushed uncomfortably. She was sure everyone in this room knew how a mate received her mark but her father. She just hoped that he would keep his cool when he did figure out how the marking was done.

Bella pushed the sleeve of her sweater up and stretched out her arm, announcing to the council, "My vampire bite scars are gone."

Content growls and rumbles erupted from the pack. "Fuck, yeah!" One of the guys called out. The Council was genuinely interested, all leaning forward in their seats, wanting a closer look of her wrist.

"Jesus, Bells. What vampire bite scars?" her father exclaimed loudly. "When were you planning on telling me about all of this?"

"I'm sorry, Dad. It never felt like the right moment to tell you…"

Sue reached out a comforting hand towards Charlie. "Later, Charlie," she whispered to him and then louder said, "Go on, Bella."

"I recognized the scars were fading two days after Jake first marked me. I had this feeling that another mark would hopefully make them go away completely, so I asked him to… uhm... mark me again..."

The memory of it made her skin heat up and her heart flutter, but she tried to stay composed.

Next to her, Jacob inhaled deeply in result of her body's reaction. The deep satisfied rumble coming from him right after, rolled through her body. "Mine!" he growled and leaned down, placing a possessive kiss on her lips. She responded with a shiver of delight and allowed herself to get lost in this kiss for a moment.

When Jacob broke the kiss, she heard a snort and a chuckle which she clearly identified coming from Quil. He said something under his breath which must have been a lewd comment since it got him a warning growl from Jacob, and a hearty slap on the back of his head delivered by Leah made him shut up instantly.

"At first, nothing happened, but the morning after I received the second mark, suddenly I was hit by a burning pain. It went through my body and then concentrated in my right wrist where the scars were…"

"I panicked when I saw how her scar looked. It was red, swollen and it stank of venom. I could see something move underneath her skin," Jacob said, reliving the moment. "My wolf advised me to stay calm and just hold her… He showed me that my blood that had gotten into her body when I marked her was fighting the remaining venom. He demanded that I trust in him… He said that our ancient Quileute magic was going to beat the vampire venom… I eventually did trust in him and waited, hoping it was the right thing to do."

Billy gave his son a nod of approval.

Bella and Jacob could see that the Council was surprised and in awe. Neither of them seemed to have expected that the mating mark would have such effects on Bella. There were no written reports about a mate ever being bitten by a vampire and having survived, so this was new for all of them.

Finally Old Quil said, "So this is one more proof that Bella is really the right mate for you, Jacob Black. Since we're all on the same page now, Billy, you might want to do your part now…"

Billy waved Bella and Jacob forward and they got on their knees on a mat that Paul and Embry rolled out in front of him.

Billy stretched out his hands, putting them above their heads. He said, "Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years, May happiness be your companion and your days together be good and long upon the earth."*

The pack broke out in howls and shouting as soon as Billy had stopped talking while the Council congratulated Jacob and Bella in a more civil manner.

.

~~o0o~~

.

The next days simply flew by. After the blessings, they had celebrated their union with a bonfire, before they returned to their daily activities. Both Bella and Jacob couldn't be any happier if they tried. Everything seemed perfect, it felt right and wonderful.

Jacob went back to work and doing patrols.

Bella got herself a job at the Forks Health Care Center where she would start working as a physiotherapist the beginning of the next month.

The time they had together, they spent planning their wedding, cooking dinners, washing dishes and doing all the simple plain old chores any other regular couple would do.

Their nights were spent full of sighs, kisses and promises of a wonderful future.

The wolf, mostly docile, still felt content and comfortable. After all, he had what he wanted.

The pack embraced them as their Alpha couple, and felt proud of their Alpha.

Quil, however, seemed to consistently getting himself into trouble for wanting to sniff and examine Bella's mark. The bickering among the pack was hilarious and everyone tried to include their alpha's mate in their antics. Naturally, often enough, Bella caught the brunt of their jokes.

Everything was good natured though and she felt more content than she ever thought possible. She would need to get some pointers from Jake, on what kind of things would ruffle their feathers, because Quil and Paul really deserved some pay-back.

.

~~o0o~~

.

Bella had a wedding dress shopping day in Port Angeles planned for the next day with Leah and Rachel. She was actually very excited about it, and based on her research online and several magazines, she already had some ideas of what she was looking for.

Jacob insisted on sending Paul with them. He wanted them safe and protected. Normally, Leah was perfectly capable of protecting them, but considering her pregnancy and that she didn't phase at the moment, neither Jacob nor Sam wanted to take even the smallest risk by letting them leave on their own.

Right now, Bella was busy preparing dinner as they had invited Billy, Charlie and Sue for a nice evening before the big event of dress shopping. Chicken Marsala was on the menu, fully loaded potato skins, and they had soup as their appetizers alongside a mixed green salad and fresh baked garlic bread.

Bella loved cooking and baking for them. Their dads seemed to have a very similar appetite as the pack did, she mused as she put yet another batch of chocolate chips cookies in the oven, which Billy seemed to favor. Next up was a Strawberry Cheesecake, which was Charlie's favorite.

Their fathers were glowing with pride and joy, which was so great to see for Jacob and Bella, and they wanted to celebrate the happy and _way over-due occasion_ as they had stated. They also said with no shame at all that _it was about freaking time_, and that they both would like to still be kicking and breathing when hopefully soon more grandbabies would arrive.

Dinner was very successful and both dads could not believe their luck. Their kids were the perfect match and they knew that they would get a fabulous home cooked meal out of Bella whenever they wanted. _Damn, life's good,_ they announced.

After dinner, Charlie took Bella aside and questioned her about the things he had learned at the Tribal meeting and for once, Bella didn't hold back and told him everything. It was freeing for her to finally open up fully to her father. She appreciated his quiet support, but also accepted his disappointment about not having opened up to him sooner.

The evening proceeded with fun and laughter after the rather heavy talk. Bella really enjoyed talking with Sue. She learned that Sue and Leah shared the same kind of humor and bright mind with no hesitation to speak their minds.

However, Bella and Jacob were also relieved when around 10 p.m. Sue ushered Billy and Charlie out the door.

As soon as the kitchen was cleaned, Bella and Jacob headed out of the back door for some _wolf time_ She had asked Jake with pleading eyes this morning, that she really would like to ride the wolf, and she was now ready for some serious alone time with him.

After their wolf time and a shared shower, they lay in bed together. Bella was clad only in one of Jacob's shirts while Jacob hadn't bothered dressing at all.

He drew patterns on her skin with the tip of his fingers. He seemed to be deep in thought.

"What are you thinking so hard?" Bella asked, snuggling into his chest.

"It's nothing…" he responded in a quiet voice, but avoided looking her in the eyes.

Bella wrapped her arms around his waist. "Doesn't look like nothing, Jake. Tell me."

"It's stupid…" His voice was husky and thick, Bella could practically feel his uneasiness roll off of him in waves.

She shook her head and put her hand under his chin to make him look at her. "I'm sure it's not. What's bothering you?"

"What kind of dress are you going to wear?" he asked quietly. "I mean you've had that big fancy wedding before so maybe you don't want to wear a real wedding dress?"

"Oh…" For a moment, Bella was at a loss of words. She tried to gauge what was going on inside his head, but his face was unreadable, pulled into that self-protective mask.

She cautiously said, hoping it would be what I wanted to hear, "I actually want to wear a wedding dress if that's alright with you? Besides... I already envision what I want. I want to look like a princess when I marry my very own prince…"

"Oh, thank God!" Jacob exclaimed, pulling her into a tight hug. "I thought maybe you didn't want that. You've had it before and as far as I remember you didn't even really like wearing that dress…"

"Yeah, but that was because that dress was nothing I normally would have ever selected for myself. It was way too elaborate, expensive, and totally not my style. Alice had talked me into wearing it... I found it sort of old-fashioned... I didn't really like all those tiny buttons in the back... and the front was rather odd…I just never felt right about it…"

She buried her hands in his thick black hair when he pressed a kiss onto the skin of her neck. "Do you know what I think happened back then?"

Jacob started nibbling at her neck, his soft, warm lips sliding along her sensitive skin. "You tell me, Bella…"

"I think Alice might have dazzled me to get me to wear this dress… You know, at first I tried to object, but… then I suddenly found myself agreeing to that dress…" Bella reminisced. "She always managed to convince me to wear stuff I didn't like… And I never really stood up to her…"

Jacob growled his dislike, but found the scent of her skin way more enticing than dwelling on the past now. He had the woman of his life in his arms and this was all that mattered to him right now. He had one thing to say though, "I've always had fantasies about… one day I'd be able to… take your wedding dress off… and make love to you on our wedding night…"

Bella sighed, tipping her head back to give him better access to her neck. His lips skimmed over his mark. She shuddered from the touch, waves of pleasure sensually rolling through her body. "Ah… what kind of dress did I wear in your dreams?"

He groaned, sliding his hand up her thigh. "I don't really know… the fantasies were changing… I dreamt of sliding a bunch of skirts up your legs… this kind of see through fabric… You'd wear a garter and tiny little G-string panties I'd pull down with my teeth before burying my head between your thighs…"

Bella felt heat warming her insides, hearing his words, spoken in that sensual husky voice. At the same time, she tried to memorize what he was revealing to her so she could try and find a dress tomorrow that would match his fantasies. She was positive she would be able to find a dress which would come close to what he had been dreaming of and still meet all of her expectations.

His one hand skimmed up her legs, gripped her thigh and pulled her leg up and around his hip. "Sometimes the dress would have a bow in the back… Sometimes the dress would have an open back so I could feel your soft skin whenever I'd dance with you… I dreamt of laying you out on my bed and make you my wife while you'd still wear your dress and your heels…"

Jacob dropped his head onto her chest. "I don't know how many fantasies I came up with that had you in a damn wedding dress… It was ridiculous really..."

Bella arched up into his body, rubbing her hands all over his chest and shoulders. "And now we gonna make those fantasies come true… at least some of them…"

.

~~o0o~~

.

Leah surprised Bella when she showed up at her house earlier than expected, banging at the door without mercy.

Bella dragged her tired self down the hall and opened with a disgruntled glare. She hadn't gotten a lot of sleep over all the lovemaking with Jacob, but she had hoped to catch a couple more minutes of sleep after Jacob had gotten out of bed and went to have a shower. Since Leah wasn't the shopping type, Bella had assumed that Leah would run late at best - not stand there on her front porch with two coffees in hand and a huge smile on her face 30 minutes early.

"I figured this can't hurt," Leah said, gesturing with her head toward the coffee cups in her hand. "For the road, Swan! What, you are not ready yet?" She laughed, walking by Bella right into the house.

"Holy shit! It reeks of sex in here. I'm about to faint!" Leah called out a second later and pretended to gag. "I'm not suffering from morning sickness just yet but I'm sure I'm gonna start any minute now with that stink all around here."

Bella giggled and rolled her eyes at Leah's antics. One look at her friend told her that Leah had a lot of fun teasing her.

"Move it girl, we don't have all day, it's going to take a little while to drive to Port Angeles and Paul is going to follow us. He said that he wouldn't want to make us uncomfortable talking about wedding stuff in front of him, but I am pretty sure, he is the one who wants to get out of dodge. So let's get moving, your appointment is at 9:00am. It's bad enough that you make me wear a long dress, so you should at least be ready when I get here." Leah sipped at her coffee, and handing the other cup to Bella.

"Just give me a minute, and you are early, just saying…" Bella protested, running her hand through her tousled hair. "I need to shower first and wake up some more, before I can handle the coffee…" An impatient eyebrow-raise from Leah, made Bella shut up.

"Okay, okay... I'm going..." she hurriedly said starting towards the bathroom as Leah moved in a mock movement toward her. Bella squeaked as Jacob caught her on the way and pulled her in for a heated kiss.

"I just hope that this lover of yours is dressed," Leah said as she walked into the kitchen and called out loudly, "You hear me, Black! You better not come in here butt ass naked or else." She took a seat on one of the kitchen chairs and helped herself to one of the several cinnamon buns she detected on the kitchen counter.

"Leah, I am warning you, you better don't eat another one of my buns!" Jacob's booming voice warned her when she went for a second bun.

"Oh, shut up, Black! 'YOUR' buns I would not touch, but these are yummy...hmm...plus, I deserve it." She laughed and heard Jacob's laugh coming down the stairs as well. "By the way, did you let your woman get any sleep last night? I need her fit and energized, we've got tons of stuff to do."

Jacob walked into the kitchen with only a towel wrapped around his narrow hips, water droplets running down his hard chiseled chest, and one arm slung lazily around Bella's shoulder as he dragged her with him.

"Oh you gotta be kidding me Black, are you trying to blind me now?" Leah rolled her eyes, mimicking Jacob's usual gesture.

"Like what you see?" Jacob winked at her, all in good humor, naturally. He was happy and he truly enjoyed having a good time with Leah. She was like a sister to him now and finally they had settled into a beautiful friendship as it was always meant to be.

"Dream on, lover boy, I'm out of here!" Leah called out. "And... Bella, you better make that stuck-up fiancé of yours get dressed and go get Yuma. Sam has to get to work soon. You'll find me on the front porch..." With that she slammed the door in Jacob's laughing face and smiled broadly when Jacob couldn't see her any longer.

Jacob turned and watched Bella hurry down the stairs with a stressed scowl on her face. Bella absolutely was no morning person, he had learned that much since living with her, but he had also learning how to make her brighten up.

"Kiss me, my beautiful bride," Jacob asked while holding his arms wide out inviting her to step right into them. He nuzzled her neck and placed a couple of teasing kisses onto her skin.

Her scowl soon turned into a bright smile, how could it not at this sight and his sweet kisses.

Twenty minutes later, Leah and Bella had picked up Rachel and Paul and were on their way to Misty's Wedding Boutique in Port Angeles, which specialized in Native Custom designs as well.

It would be such fun finding just the right dress.

.

~~o0o~~

.


End file.
